A Day With Apne Aap

February 20, 2013

A Day With Apne Aap

I'm sitting here in the domestic terminal of Delhi airport awaiting our call to board our delayed flight to Kolkata.  It's the perfect time for reflection on the amazing day with Apne Aap yesterday.

Following morning yoga and an opening circle, we headed to an international complex, home to many non-profits including Apne Aap, founded 10 years ago by the powerhouse, Ruchira Gupta.  They have offices in New Delhi, Kolkata and Bihar.   As we waited for a presentation by the director,  Dr. Abhilasha Kumari, we were given a super sweet chai igniting much chatter between the challengers (too much caffeine or sugar perhaps?).  

Apne Aap is an organization whose primary focus is the prevention of at risk women and girls getting into the sex trade.  The other focus (about 20%) is on the rehabilitation of girls/women who've been removed from the trade.  They were quite proud to tell us of the legislation they have before the Indian parliament to:

1.  Make the level of violence against women more visible through civil punishment for pimps, traffickers and brothel owners.

2.  To decriminalize the prostitute and recognize them as victims.

3.  To prosecute the johns/buyers by addressing the question of demand.

Apne Aaps view is that any level of prostitution IS violence against women and that no woman should be bought or sold.  To empower women, teach them about their fundamental rights and give them skills to integrate independently into society is paramount.  They have created 10 assets as part of the process and include:

1.  Safe Houses

2.  Nine Friends-form into groups of 10

3.  Education

4.  Political Knowledge

5.  Self confidence-the ability to articulate publicly

6.  Ability to address authorities

7.  Savings, "inter-loans" and a bank account to give them a mainstream identity

8.  Vocational training and life skills

9.  Legal knowledge, realizing they have rights and what are the laws (i.e, you cannot be bought or sold by any person including your father)

10. Linkage to two government services (food, housing & job cards)

It's basically to teach them how to live within their own lives and the organization is inspired by the Gandhian philosophy of looking at the "last one".  This is the most marginalized child, with most girls trafficked between the ages of 8-14.

All of this was brought into full life with our afternoon visit to a safe house on the outskirts of Delhi in the Najafgargh district.  Our huge bus pulled into the narrow streets and 20 people looking like a small parade, walked to the safe house.  As we approached we could hear this wave of children's voices grabbing our attention as they cheered and waved like crazy.  Entering the house, we were welcomed with a blessing of a tikka (red dot on the forehead) as we shook countless little hands to the sounds of "Hello!  How are you?  What is your name?".

Cramming ourselves into a small, pink room, we sat on the floor and were welcomed.  We then had a chaotic tour to the sewing room and computer room, before being herded back into the small pink room for chai and veggie samosas.  Proceeding onto the roof of the safe house, we were part of a celebration of exuberance.  Bollywood type music playing, some of the young girls would stand up and dance (a choreographed number), lip syncing throughout.  They encouraged us to join us with it ending in a huge mosh pit of jumping, clapping, dancing and ultimately smiling faces.

One of the workers with Apne Aap said that these girls were at high risk of being trafficked with many of their mothers being prostitutes.  Often, they would have evening clients and wouldn't get home until the morning, leaving the girls to look after the housework and drop out of school.  As they danced, with pure joy on their faces, I commented how happy they seemed.  She replied, "this is the only place they can dance as they want, do things as they want.  It's their place and they have no such opportunities at home."  I commented, "so, this is the place where they can be children."  To which she shyly smiled and said, "yes".

Seeing the Apne Aap structure in action, offering children insight, knowledge and options was truly heart expanding and hopeful.  It felt that through supporting the work of Apne Aap that we ARE making a difference.  That these kids might know something besides the life of a prostitute.

As we left to shouts of "Bye  Didi" (auntie/big sister), many hugs and waving hands, you could sense the uplifted mood of all of us.

Amidst such poverty and challenge, we witnessed light.

A Day In Delhi

February 18, 2013

We are like a drop of ink in a pool of water, slowly expanding outward.  This morning at breakfast, we met Megan from Ottawa and invited her to join us for a day of exploring New Delhi with a car and driver.  The four of us, (including Page & Tammy) headed out with our first intended stop being the Gandhi Smriti, the property where Mahatma Gandhi spent his final 144 days and where he was assassinated.  It's now a museum and traces his footsteps onto the lawn where his final words upon being shot were "Shree Ram" (my God).  Unfortunately, the Smriti was closed...and I know these things about it because it was a memorable place when I had visited it in 2011.

So what are four women to do when their cultural opportunity has shifted?  Find another one.  We went to the Raj Ghat, the place where Gandhi was cremated and now is marked by an eternal flame.  Each day, Gandhi devotees sit at the memorial and chant his favorite Ram Raga and they happened to be there at the same time as us.  As we walked around the upper perimeter, looking down upon the memorial, we hear all these school children saying, "Hi! Hi!" and waving at all of the foreigners as they walked past.  Their childhood exuberance for a days outing was reminiscent of my elementary school field trips and a reminder of how fortunate they are to be receiving an education, unlike the girls we are about to meet.

Constant reminders of gratitude and having options.

We then headed to Janpath market place to find some culturally appropriate attire (kurtis/scarves) and pretend to bargain for the best deals.  Only one of us were really getting into the bargaining dance yet we all found things for what seemed like great deals by our own standards.  

After a lunch in a groovy bar/cafe with dal, rice, palak paneer and naan, we headed to Dilli Haat, another outdoor market.  This one had an entrance fee of 20 rupees (less than 50 cents) and as we were in line, a man cut in front of me.  An Indian woman stepped up to him, scolding that "this is a cue and you stepped in front of these women....they are our guests!".  He apologized and I was impressed with her calling him on it.  At the market, we ran into another 3-4 challengers who were on their way back from Agra.

We have  merged yet again at a new hotel, having been transferred from our original hotel to its sister property some 30 minutes away.  Apparently a government ministry was taking over the original place and bumped us out.  As we arrived, so had many of the others and now were are almost a complete group with a few arriving later tonight.

Our official work begins tomorrow with a visit to Apne Aap and I am in the position of not knowing what to expect.  What  I do know is that I need a shower to wash off some of the metropolis dirt.

More later...

My Feet Are On The Ground

February 17, 2013

After 30 hours of travel, I have safely arrived in Delhi.  I met up with fellow Seva Challengers, Tammy (from Florida) and Page (from Nashville) in the departure lounge at Charles De Gaulle airport in Paris.  It feels great to immediately be able to connect with them both.  Although we've all had our different methods of raising $20,000 we share the common thread of the cause.

The great thing about the travel to Delhi is that is went smoothly and was uneventful.  Phew.  Plus, all of our bags arrived after  many airplane transfers.

After falling heavily into sleep, I awoke this morning to a gray Delhi and after my morning meditation, headed downstairs to explore the breakfast buffet.  I went with traditional Indian fare of  masala chai, sambal, lemon rice and  idli accompanied by a tomato type chutney and coconut chutney.  I also had some scrambled eggs to get some form of protein, otherwise I'm heading toward carb overload.

It's so odd to be sitting downstairs in the dining room, with tables of mostly all men or all women.  Playing on the lobby TV is an Indian music video with this super studly guy in a near Speedo, at the beach, surrounded by scantily clad women gyrating and doing their Bollywood type of dancing.  It's such a conflict to see what's on TV and then to see women sitting, eating breakfast wearing headscarves.  I wonder how they feel about it all.

But, that was my experience on my previous trip to India in that it's full of constant extremes.  I know that as I sit here in my hotel room, typing on my groovy iPad with keyboard, in a nice hotel with bottled water, that there are millions of people outside of my walls who might think that my world, is simply another world away.

As I keep that in mind, I might book myself in for an Ayurvedic massage this afternoon to prepare myself for what lies ahead.

Again...I hold such gratitude and my heart is full.

My Feet Are Off The Ground

Friday February 15, 2013

As I sit here on my way between San  Francisco and Seattle I am looking out my window at three distinct mountains covered in winter snow.  I believe one of them to be the formerly volatile Mt St Helens, but I'm not in a position to fact check that just at the moment.

Everything thus far has been extraordinarily easy and friendly.  The Alaska airlines check-in guy was downright exuberant at 6:15 am and I've never seen such jovial TSA agents who seemed more like your mate than the usual militant.  You felt as though you could sit down and have a nice chat and cuppa tea.

As I listen to "The Power Of Your Heart" by Peter Gabriel, I am reminded why I am sitting here sipping my Airborne.  I'm on a mission, to open my heart and bear witness to unthinkable suffering.  I'm hoping to get a sense of hopefulness through programs that have been working within these organizations.  I'm not here in the familiar role of traveler or tourist, although I know I'll be getting all the color and flavors that India has to offer.

Part of me feels bigger than myself as I launch into this experience.  Yet, I have learned many things from undertaking this Global Seva Challenge over the past year.  Although I am very proud of what I've accomplished, I am reminded to keep my ego in check.  I sit in gratitude with how my community came together to support me and these efforts.  The well wishes, words of encouragement and heartfelt hugs over the past few weeks makes me realize how very fortunate and  lucky I was to be born into opportunity.

I have no idea as to how I'll react to what I'm about to experience.  What I do know is that at this stage of my life, I feel ready to be fully present.  This is an auspicious year of pushing me further away from the familiar...I just turned 50, am heading to India in a new capacity and haven't been able to see much beyond the middle of March.  For someone who likes to organize, plan and be in control this is yet another lesson in softening my two fisted grip and letting go.

It's time to trust that all I've learned has brought me to this point in my life and that I'm exactly where I should be.  At least that's what I'd say to a yoga class, so let's see if I can take my own advice.

You know there will be more to come...stay tuned!

India Pre-Trip Preparations

Pre-Trip Preparations

 

Departure is just around the corner and I'm in a state of "do I bring this, will I need that, do I have too much stuff...?". Argh! There's nothing quite like waking up at 4:45 am to contemplate such questions!

It really puts my yoga to the test. Can I allow enough room for self-care, ritual and routine as I have this impending departure with a many things that need to be in order prior to boarding?

The answer of course is "yes"! That's one of the reasons why I've established these practices in the first place, to be able to keep on an even keel when the pressure gauge rises. So I continue with my morning meditation and chanting, yoga, bicycling and trying to get to bed a bit earlier than usual (that's the tough one).

But I'm ready to go and hold the space for those in great need. I have seen pictures from the first trip that is currently in Kolkata and seeing the faces of those people that I and my surrounding community have been working to support expands my heart.

I'm excited to be sharing this chapter of my yoga journey with all of you.

Be Still My Beating Heart

It's almost here...the day of lovers, Cupid's arrow, red roses, Valentines and chocolates.  At least that's what the marketing enthusiasts tout it to be and cynical me just likes to think that it's truly about love...in all its many incarnations.

We use the word "love" so easily and yet can have difficulty vocalizing it to others.  For example, "I loveto put sprinkles on cupcakes", "I love singing along to the Beatles", "I love going on vacation", "I love the features of satellite radio", etc.  You get the idea.  But when it comes to saying "I love you" directly to someone else, it can often get stuck in our throats.

I didn't grow up in a family where we said, "I love you" to each other.  We expressed our love through actions and acceptance.  Through giving to each other or supporting a sibling by attending their baseball game or concert are examples from my family.  So, when I started to have relationships, those "I love you's" just didn't come out of my mouth easily.  I had to really work at it and recognize that if I said it and it wasn't reciprocated that I'd have to manage my own feelings of rejection.

Although love seems to be inherent to all beings, I believe it to also be a practice.  How do you practice being loving?  Are you loving to others and not yourself?  Is what you say coming from a compassionate and well-intentioned place?  Do your actions reflect love or some other emotion?

One of the many gifts our yoga practice offers is that it gives us a venue to connect to the beat of our own heart and to be in a place of loving kindness.   Ahimsa, the first yama, is often translated as non-violence, or as I prefer, compassion...towards self, towards others and towards the Earth.  We begin our yoga from this place with the practice constantly challenging us to stay with this compassionate intention.  We can begin to slip out of self-love by overworking, under-eating, saying "yes" when we would be better served to say "no" and pushing ourselves beyond our own physical boundaries.

To be loving to others seems more obvious.  Random acts of kindness are actions more than bumper stickers.  Can we look into the eyes of those we care about and genuinely tell them how dear they are to us and that we love them?  Can we treat all beings with respect even when we don't agree with them?  Can we be kind to all animals, not just those that are cute and fuzzy?

And we could all be more loving to this planet by raising our awareness about how our consumption, our footprint and our story of "stuff" impacts the balance of the environment.  Do you really need that plastic bag?  Could we do away with less packaging?  Can we take public transport or ride our bike rather than hopping into our car?  Can we enjoy more peaceful moments without loud music, leaf blowers and lawn mowers?

So as Valentine's Day approaches, ask yourself how you express your love...to this planet, to your beloved, to your family & friends and most importantly, to yourself.

Will you be my Valentine?

Changing Positions

 

It's been almost a week since the conclusion of our annual tennis tournament, the Babolat World Tennis Classic, which Ed and I have been running for the past nine years. Ed does the majority of the work, planning, scheduling, organizing sponsors and the like whereas I run the tournament desk during the week of the event.

What my role entails is to keep the courts full by sending matches on court at their intended time. We use walkie-talkies to communicate with three roving umpires across 15-17 courts. So, you can imagine that when we had a complete day of rain on day six of eight, we had some catch up to do on day seven. Over 150 matches needed to be played on Saturday. To say it was non-stop would be completely correct. I was like an octopus at the desk, needing to stay focused (and calm) in order to make this run as smooth as possible. It's like being an air traffic controller at a tennis club.

What does this have to do with yoga? One word...posture.

I found that towards the end of the week my upper/middle back felt as though I had a hot spot...an electrical buzz. My knees ached and my lower back felt stiff. Even with doing a short few yoga poses after all of the morning matches were on court, taking a moment or two to do a chest opener with blocks and bringing a shortened foam roller, I still couldn't get past how sore my body was from staying in the same posture for hours on end.

Our bodies were built for movement. So anytime we hold them in a sustained position such as sitting, standing or lying down, the body begins to give us feedback. "OK, Jayne", it might say..."time to move out of this position into another one because I can't take this much longer".

Think of how many of us sit for hours at a computer. Stand for hours at a job (chefs, retail, hair stylists) or if we're ill, lay in bed until we're feeling good enough to get up.

Modernization has reeked havoc on our posture. Our heads are out in front of our torso; our shoulders are rounded forward; our chests are closed and tight; our back muscles overstretched and weak.

This held posture beckons for us to return to some semblance of balance and this is where yoga supports us. The practice is amazing at offering our spines an opportunity to move in all of its ranges of motion-forward, back, side-side and rotationally. When we undertake our yoga practice, we recalibrate our skeletons back into their intended functional patterns through lengthening and strengthening all that is tight and weak.

In addition to yoga, walking is hugely beneficial to overall health. Recent research on extended hours of sitting in office-based jobs has shown how this posture negatively impacts our health. In fact, treadmill desks and its associated research has grown in popularity. By simply walking at a work tread desk, at one mph in bouts of 30-minutes walking, 30-minutes sitting, the participants all lost weight. Overall health improved with total cholesterol decreasing, plasma triglycerides dropping on average 37 percent in total for all 18 study participants. No going to a gym...just going to work.



My experience this past week has once again reaffirmed how supportive my yoga practice can be. In addition, I might suggest that we install a walking desk at the tournament desk next year! So after you have finished reading this...stand up and stretch a bit, eh?