Resolution Time. Again.

I've already heard the words being spoken, those words that seem fundamental towards the end of each calendar year. "In January, I'm going on a diet! That's my resolution..."

When we make a resolution, we are making a promise to ourselves with the intention of doing something that yields change, generally in the direction of self-improvement. The fitness industry banks on us making these promises and anticipates the January onslaught of new member enrollments. They often will tempt us with a great deal for the entire year and in actual fact, know that a large percentage of the new members will stop attending within a few months. If people were able to hold onto their desire for change as of January 1, there would be more people than gyms could manage.

Why is it that we have such great intentions only to realize a few weeks later we've lost our way?

My thought for the week is to offer ourselves more compassion when trying to make a change. It is said that permanent change takes anywhere between 21-30 days to take hold. That translates into it taking time. We often lose our way because we become impatient with the process and perhaps don't see any change in the time we expect.

Change also takes conscious and consistent choice and practice. If we want to create a new way of being or doing, we need to practice it over and over again. You know, try it on. See how it fits. We need to shift the unfamiliar feeling to a familiar one and that takes repetition.

One of my favorite sayings is, "consistency is the key". If we go to a yoga class randomly, then what we get out of it will likely be momentary. If we want to invite a more centered way of living into daily life, we have to create ways of doing that...DAILY! The magic happens in the doing.

So if you are thinking about making a resolution I would suggest being clear on ONE thing. Design a plan that fits into your life and stick with it, without excuse, interruption or hesitation for at least a month. Avoid the trap of letting what you would like to shift, move down your list of priorities. Keep it in the top position until you feel that it's embedded--like brushing our teeth every day.

And if now isn't the time, then go easy on yourself and ask the inner critic to keep the noise down. In this moment, we are all as we should be; beautiful, unique beings with nothing that needs to be fixed.

Center your awareness into the middle of your heart, breathe into that space deeply and notice how incredible you are!

Happy New Year and may 2013 hold peace, growth, good health and deep joy for all of us.

Darkness To Light

 

 

Here in the northern hemisphere, the days are getting short and the nights long. The natural environment seems to be drawing into itself and shedding excess leaves and growth until a more opportune time to grow and bloom. We have just passed the Winter Solstice.

I love the idea of the Winter Solstice as it relates to light. The actual day in 2012 is Friday December 21 representing the shortest day of the year as it relates to the number of daylight hours that we see. From December 22 the daylight hours begin to lengthen.

We step from darkness into light.

Isn't that what our own personal growth is about? Gaining clarity about our own life path and purpose? Moving from ignorance towards greater wisdom? Turning inward to see our own inner light's radiance? We acknowledging the darkest moments of our soul as we step into our own light and expanding consciousness.

One of the fundamental teachings in yoga is that we are all born divine. This divinity possesses a radiance that is often referred to as residing in the heart center. Just look at a healthy newborn and you can't help but see that they are divinely perfect beings. And the thing is, that never changes...it never leaves us. What happens is that we simply forget. We travel through our lives and begin to disconnect from this notion of being whole and beautifully complete.

What our yoga practice does, is help us to remember. It helps us to still the distracting chatter of our mind and to celebrate the magnificence of our physical body so that we can connect once again to the light that dwells within.

Let's take a moment on as the Winter Solstice passes to connect to our inner radiance and all the potential that is sitting within.

The word Namaste' describes this precisely.

"The light in me, sees and honors the light in you. When we are both in this place, we are one."

Peaceful Solstice.

Our Place In The Universe

 

This past week was the last triad date of my lifetime, 12-12-12. I felt it to be quite auspicious and shared with my classes one persons take on its significance (from a friend of a friend of mine). Basically she said that it's a powerful time to connect in a way of supportive mediation to send healing to the planet, our loved ones, as well as ourselves. And it is part of the greater cosmic shift that is happening on December 21, 2012. This is said to be the end of the Mayan calendar and the doomsayers were saying it could be the end of the world (I don't believe that, but perhaps more of a shift in consciousness).

What is interesting is that this upcoming solstice has a particularly special planetary alignment with very distant stars as it will be right along the plane of the entire galaxy. "This precession of the equinoxes goes in a complete circle and happens only once every 26,000 years. In other words, the winter solstice moves 360 degrees every 26,000 years, or 0.01 degrees each year." (Greer Jonas, www.numbers4me.com).
Add the galactic and cosmic activity to the unsettled nature of the holiday season, I have a very strong sense that this was indeed a time to look at how we fit into the big picture of this Universe.

If you think about our physical presence on this earth and how we connect to it, the most obvious conduit is through our feet. The soles of our amazingly adaptive peds connect the souls of ourselves to Mother Earth. I think of this earth as being feminine, the Divine life giver as she offers us all that we need. It seems obvious but without the earth, we simply would not be. We have a truly physical connection to the planet, one which so many of us have forgotten about and become disconnected from. Many of our surfaces are flattened and paved over so the sensation of stepping barefoot on a rocky path has become a metaphysical rather than an actual physical experience. We no longer feel our feet gently kissing the earth, unless we intentionally do so.

And then I got to thinking about the vastness of the cosmos and how the planets and stars expand into infinite space, doing what they do as I go along doing what I do. In order to connect to this Universal energy and realm, I need to take myself there consciously.

We get so easily distracted and into our own lives that we step further and further away from the truly gigantic picture of being humans living on a planet. I start to freak out a little bit if I give it too much contemplation...how does anyone truly comprehend all of that space?

As a result, I offer this practice of connection and seeing ourselves in the big picture.

Stand barefoot with a sense of good posture. Bring your awareness into the bottoms of your feet and visualize sending giant cables of light down through the floor, through the earth's crust and into the center of the earth. Feel as if you're connecting your cables into the heart of the Mother and that she sends whatever serves and supports you back up through these channels.

Now pull your energy up from the earth and through your body. See an opening at the very crown of your head and send another cable of energetic light up through the ceiling, into the clouds and out into the earth's atmosphere. See this cable expanding beyond the gravitational boundary of the earth and out into infinite space.

As we stand with our feet firmly grounded into the center of the earth and our energy reaching into infinity, it starts to feel as though we are the conduit between a solid physical realm and a less definitive celestial one. We are part of it all with this pranic life force flowing not only around us, but through us.

Our place in the Universe is as a complete individual, yet we are also completely connected to and part of the whole. To show gratitude, how about slipping out of those shoes to go kiss the earth with your feet?

Don't Worry...Be Happy!

 

 

Do you worry? Do you find yourself awake at 3 am, staring at the ceiling, unable to find a comfortable position and ruminating on what seem to be a thousand possible scenarios for your life? Or you hear news about a story that's happening some place a far distance away in the world and you find yourself unable to stop thinking about it? Do you have frequent conversations with someone who says how worried they are about so and so?

This might be you or someone you know...a worrywart. Not sure? Here's how Random House Webster's Dictionary defines worrywart:

"a person who tends to worry habitually and often needlessly".

Earlier this week, I was speaking to my wise chair-centric yoginis, one woman in her 90's and the other in her late 80's. I asked them if they were "worriers" and they both had similar replies. "I used to worry, but I've learned that it really doesn't help anything or make a difference. Whatever happens, happens and worrying about it won't prevent that from happening."

When we worry, our thoughts are projected into the future. This futuristic thinking is often no more than an embellished storyline that is getting created in our imagination. What percentage of what we worry about actually happens? I don't have stats to back up this answer, but many people say that a very large percentage of what we futuristically ponder never happens. NEVER! Wow! That seems to be a lot of misspent energy.

And according to the definition, worrying is a habit. That's right, just like smoking, or over using a word or phrase (like, ya know), it's a pattern that is learned. The good news is, if it's something we've learned, we can un-learn it. The challenge is to recognize when we actually step into a habitual pattern. We can't change something that we have no awareness around, so becoming aware is a huge first step to altering our behavior.

The definition also states that it is often needless. The time and energy we direct towards a situation that is completely ineffective to altering the outcome is wasted time. Life is precious and zooms by so quickly, so why not convert some of this worrying energy into recognizing what we DO have the power to control and what we don't.

I do believe there's a difference between worrying about and thinking about something. The worrying element tends to have a negative pull connected to it, whereas simply thinking about an issue has a more neutral response. It's something that we can think about and then let go. Worriers tend to cling onto the issue, creating higher levels of anxiety than perhaps the situation actually warrants. And perhaps the act of worrying is the worrywarts way of showing they care or a way they express their love for someone or something.

My thought for the week is to turn this expression of care into self-care by letting go of the charge associated with worrying, most often over something that we have very little control. Acknowledge that the uneasy feeling arises, find a breath and another way to be supportive of the situation. The result could be the lesson of greater freedom and acceptance. And as the catchy jingle reminds us, "Don't Worry....Be Happy"!

The Gift of Gratitude

 

 

It's official. It's the holiday season. We've just passed Thanksgiving, Black Friday and Cyber Monday. The lights of the season are sprouting up in my local neighborhood and the number of emails offering special deals and sales is prolific. It's that time of year when we start to think about what to give to others.

When I was a kid, it was all about what I would be getting for Christmas. I used to sit with the JC Penny catalog on my lap, flipping through the pages at all the things that I really wanted for the holidays. I would fold the page, circling the item and move on. I wanted to ensure that my Mom had a good idea of what was on my wish list. Looking back...I had no boundaries. I wanted it all. Anything that I found the least bit interesting would have a dog eared page. On Christmas morning I would awaken in the pre-dawn hours, sneak out to see if anything had been placed under the tree with my name on it and then sneak back to bed. Invariably, I would get not one item from the battered catalog. Not one.

Now don't get me wrong, after all the gifts were opened, I would sit amidst my stack of stuff completely satisfied without a backward glance at all of those unreceived marked toys. And my Mom was a great gift giver. She was thorough in making certain all of her four kids received the same number and value of gifts. Looking back, it was seeing her joy in giving that now means the most. She would sit on Christmas morning with a satisfied glimmer in her eyes to see the delight in ours.

This leads me to my thought for the week. Showing and sharing gratitude. This past week, my end of class reading was around the theme of recognizing that we are never too busy to be grateful. Just think about the last time someone publicly acknowledged a specific thing that you did. Or when you received that handwritten thank you note in the mail, or perhaps someone sent you a link to something that was brought up in a recent conversation. How did that make you feel?

With the infusion of technology in all aspects of our lives, we have lost the art of connecting directly with people. We are bombarded with numerous emails, tweets and posts every day that we have lost the fundamental practice of simply responding. It's maddening to send an email, text or leave a voicemail to never hear back from the person. Yet, if we did we would realize that this not only feels that we've been heard, but the residual impact is powerful.

The time it takes to respond, to be grateful, to acknowledge or say thanks has a far greater impact than we might think (or remember). And nobody is THAT busy that doing so is impossible. It only takes a short amount of time to tap into gratitude and let others know about it.

So for this holiday season, give the gift of gratitude. Not only will it feel great, but people might even thank you for it.

The Energy Quota

The holiday season has officially arrived. Here in the US, we have just celebrated Thanksgiving which then opens the floodgates to the many celebrations held in December. It's a time where we tend to socialize, eat and drink as well as spend more cash than usual. We arrive at New Years Day wondering what hit us and how did it seem to spin out of control? When the credit card bill arrives mid-January did we go beyond our limits? How about your own personal physical limits?

This leads me to my thought of the week-do you know your energy budget?

I was talking with a friend whose sister has chronic fatigue and has dealt with it for the past decade. She recently adopted a child and was as happy as ever. I asked my friend, "how does she keep up with a young child with her chronic fatigue?". She replied, "she knows how to manage the limited energy that she has".

This is true for all of us whether we're a teen or somebody dealing with an illness. We all have an energy quota. The energy quota is a term I've coined that relates to how much energy expenditure we can handle in a day. But it's a bit tricky as it can shift without us realizing it. We go to work/school, we're busy so we don't really stop for lunch but just grab a bite. We have a project with a deadline so we stay later than the standard time. This results in us grabbing something on the way home that's either take out food or an easy to prepare meal at home. We're already tired so we plop down on the couch or head back to the laptop and as we find ourselves dozing off, we head off to bed.

We've gone into debt with our own energy quota. We missed the signs that our body was asking to stop, slow down or take a break. And, oh yeah, could you put something of high nourishment into the tank in the process?

I've been doing the energy quota dance for as long as I can remember. It simply began with believing that I had an endless supply of energy and that the quota was something that other people had, not people like me who were always told "you have so much energy!". Then it hit me. It didn't just sneak up and if it did, I continued to ignore the sneaking up, but it slammed me with a full on body blow. The type of experience where your body no longer whispers to you to slow down, but begins to scream at you...yelling "I said S L O W D O W N!". As a result instead of boundless energy, I had boundless fatigue. Why was I always so tired? Why didn't coffee in the morning fix it?

It's at moments like these that we get to know our energy quota. We realize that we've overspent and now it's time to pay attention to our budget. For me, this included getting enough sleep by going to bed around the same time every night and not burning the proverbial candle at both ends. It also meant drinking way less alcohol and caffeine. It meant becoming a better vegetarian and committing to practices that serve and support my life rather than constantly testing its boundaries.

My yoga practice has been the perfect antidote for overstepping my energy quota. It has helped me establish ritualized practices where I connect to my higher self and listen to my inner voice. I still tend to throw many balls into the air. I feel life is short and an abundance of opportunities await. And I am still constantly re-defining my quota, particularly as I age.

So...do you know your energy quota? If not, perhaps now is the time to acknowledge that you have one and learn a bit more about it. I figure in the end...we can all find the perfect balance.

The Blame Game

You hear it all the time, "it's so and so's fault...they made me do it...they're the reason we're in the mess" and on it goes. It's a well played out scene with the lamp being broken as kids are playing in the living room and saying, "the dog did it". Lately, my awareness around the need to blame others has been heightened. Perhaps it was the election that sparked this sense that people have a bad case of finger pointing but it wasn't the election by itself as it seems to be happening a lot lately in other realms.

As I was doing an introduction to a yoga class the other day, I was commenting on how we really want to listen to what our bodies are telling us during the practice. If your body senses pain or a reaction of "I don't want to do that" then listen and respond from a place of compassion. We come into our yoga practice to reduce suffering, not to increase it and paying attention to our internal cues is vitally important to that process. Although we go to people for guidance, such as a yoga class or a personal trainer, ultimately it is only you that pushes you.

I have heard countless times how an instructor "had me do this or that" with the storyteller then saying that because of it, they got injured or had incredible soreness for days. I understand and appreciate that students put trust in their teachers. We assume that they are qualified and will provide the safest possible environment. We anticipate that they wouldn't do anything to intentionally injure or damage us and I believe that this is largely true.

But what about the times when you go to a large class that has a ratio of 1:15 or more? How can the instructor know what is completely safe for everyone? What if there's just one person in the class that seems to be lagging behind everyone else, so the instructor caters to the majority? This isn't a new topic from me. We need to be the ones who are responsible for ourselves. Period (or full stop, for my Aussie mates!). We are the ones who ultimately decide what is best for our body as we are the ones who know our bodies best.

What is a new topic is how quickly we lay blame onto something outside of ourselves. At times I just feel like yelling out, "own your own stuff!" and quit assigning blame to avoid doing so. This is a challenging practice as we often have to swallow a big lump of pride and admit that it was our own doing, our own choosing that caused the suffering. Imagine what would happen if people took responsibility for their own choices more often. If they simply acknowledged that they made a poor choice, it taught them a lesson and as a result, they have become wiser for future situations.

The blame continuum can stretch from people who complain about seemingly everyone and everything, to those who simply don't want to own up to something. It all catches up with us eventually. Satya, or truthfulness is one of the Niyamas in the eight-faceted path of the yoga sutras. At the close of each class, I end with "May we always know our truth. May we always speak our truth. And may we always live our truth". Perhaps sitting with this idea every day will give us an opportunity to control what we can and let go of the rest...without playing the blame game.

Own it.

The Zone

If you ask most people, I think they would say they would prefer to be comfortable rather than uncomfortable. Whether it relates to what you're wearing on a particular day, being in a social setting, at work or in the body, we seek to feel at ease.

I find myself frequently asking yoga students to find a place of ease in a pose, to let go of struggling or to find ease in their breath. When we are trying something that is unfamiliar, it can make us uncomfortable and as a result we tense our muscles and hold our breath. Finding ease in a place that's challenging offers us an opportunity to move out of our comfort zone in a more comfortable way.

So why do we need to move out of our comfort zone? And do you really know what your zone is? We each have a way of being in the world and it's as individual as our fingerprint. Aren't we constantly doing this dance between trying new things but not to the point that we feel we'll fail or look bad?

One of my favorite sayings from Judith Hanson Lasater is, "does this feel painful/uncomfortable or just unfamiliar?" I love this because it offers a subtle distinction between what we know and what we don't. When we explore an unfamiliar feeling or experience, it opens up a doorway to a new sensation, expanding our zone of what we know and can do.

My zone has been challenged throughout this year from the moment I was deciding whether or not to do the Global Seva Challenge through Off the Mat, Into the World. The aim was to raise awareness around the issue of sex trafficking in India and worldwide and, in the process, to raise money to support programs and partners already in place in India that are rescuing girls from the trade. Any participant who raises $20,000 can go on the Bare Witness Tour to India to see what the organization has been supporting.

One of my initial responses was that if I was going to do the challenge, then I really wanted to raise the $20K. But how? I haven't been a fundraiser since selling chocolate bars door to door for my Bobby Sox softball league when I was nine. What did I know about raising that much money. And what was even more challenging is that I would have to find a voice to ask people for support...in a multitude of ways. I recognized that if I were to undertake the challenge that I couldn't do it by myself and that meant stepping out of one of my major comfort zones of asking for help. I have always been fiercely independent with the defiant two year old persona of "I can do it myself", so to say to someone "can you give me a hand" was likely to get stuck in my throat.

But the most amazing thing happened.

When I recognized that the only thing holding me back was asking for help and finding the words, I realized I was willing to take a chance. So I took a deep breath, honored the sick feeling in my stomach and asked anyway. My fear almost got in the way of not doing it. My fear of being told "no". My fear of trying to reach the goal and failing. My fear of trying something that I had no idea how to do. But something deeper within bubbled up and recognized my own suffering was easily overcome in order to do something significant for someone else whose suffering was unthinkable.

And although people did say "no" and didn't offer support, more people did. So many people in fact turned up and said "yes-how can I help?" that not only have I reached the goal, I've surpassed it. In the process I have changed. My zone has expanded, my skill set has grown, my confidence as a leader has been altered forever and I have this almost inexplicable feeling of love and joy at the idea of community coming together.

It's because I took a risk and stepped out of my comfort zone. I could have shirked away and said "that's too hard", but I didn't. This is why we step out of what makes us comfortable...so we can redefine our own zone. So we can be more at ease in the face of challenge.

Please take a deep breath into that scary space within, see what arises and take a chance...it might just knock your socks off!

It's Just Diet and Exercise, Right?

We have had it drummed into our heads that if we eat "right" and move our bodies on a consistent basis then we'll live a long and healthy life. Our culture gives an incredible amount of energy into these two facets of how we can choose to live.

But is that enough?

Apparently not, according to researchers who've studied groups of people who live well and actively into their 90's and 100's. They found pockets of people around the world who as a collective outlive all others, en masse. They termed these groups Blue Zones with author Dan Buettner writing the book "The Blue Zones: Lessons for Living Longer from people who lived the longest." Basically it's a concept used to identify a demographic and/or geographic area of the world where people live measurably longer lives.

These communities were found in:

• Sardinia, Italy
• The islands of Okinawa, Japan
• Loma Linda, California
• Nicoya Peninsula, Costa Rica
• Icaria, Greece

What they all had in common

• Just move - Active lifestyles, more than heavy exercise, is what leads most to longevity.
• Purposeful outlook - Have clarity about your role in life.
• Down shift on stress - Blue zone cultures all have their own ways of shedding stress in life.
• Eat to 80% full - Stop your meals when you are 80% full rather than totally full.
• Plant slant - Meat is more of a condiment than a staple in most Blue Zones.
• Wine @ 5 - Moderate drinking has positive benefits.
• Belong to a community - Belonging to a faith-based community extends one's life in general.
• Loved ones first - Focusing on family in life and keeping family members close to home will improve one's life.
• Right Tribe - Having a social circle that promotes healthy lifestyles is important to maintaining a healthy lifestyle yourself.

With that being said, these blue zones have many qualities that are taught via living a yogic lifestyle. So although movement and food choice are important other elements of our daily life play a role that is as vital.

The areas that yoga fully addresses are: purpose, managing stress, community, love and having a social tribe. We can deepen our exploration of purpose through studying the purusharthas (the purpose of our soul). We can learn how to better manage the challenges in our life through breath and meditation. We have a strong sense of community and tribe via satsang (spiritual community) and sangha (social gathering). And we do it all from the perspective of Ahimsa (the act of compassion for self, others and Mother Earth) the first Yama mentioned in the yoga sutras.

Simply by stepping onto a yoga mat you begin to address so much more than diet and exercise. Our entire being, our connection to others and the planet begins to deepen. I hope that whatever path you follow, you consider the richness of life that is available to all by looking beyond what you already know. In fact, I have a mini blue zone right here in the desert...a group of clients who are nonagenarians and have many of these qualities as they are living lives that are engaged and purposeful. I am blessed to bear witness to this mini blue zine and hope to see it keep expanding!

Eye of the Storm

 

 

Have you ever felt as though your life was part of the tornado scene in the Wizard of Oz? There you are, minding your own beeswax, trying to simply live your life from one moment to the next and swoooooosh...something seems to derail your best "staying centered" intentions. It's as though what began as a seemingly easy day suddenly has the proverbial cow flying by in the whirlwind of the tornado.

Sometimes things just seem to spin out of control and we find ourselves dazed and confused, wondering what happened that pushed us over the edge. And what seems even more challenging is when we have days like this that stack up on top of each other. We begin to feel that our life is not looking like we want it to look and feels busier and less gratifying than we want it to feel.

So, how can we come into each new day and not get bowled over by life?

I often suggest to clients that one way is to recognize what you can actually control and what you can't. We live in an illusion that we have more control over things than we truly do. How does it go when you try to control someone else's situation? How about when you make a plan and something (like a road closure) stops you in your tracks? How does it feel when someone says, "but you make me feel this or that way"? When we believe that we have more control than we really do, we begin to enter into a place of suffering.

In both Buddhism and yogic philosophy, attachment and clinging are addressed as prime roots of suffering. When we attach ourselves to things, people or beliefs we set ourselves up for the pain of separation from these things.

The one true thing that we can control is how we react to situations. When we begin to recognize this truth, we create a buffer of forgiveness that communicates it's not always our fault when things go awry or that someone feels a certain way. Through our yoga practice we learn to stay with our breath as the challenge escalates, observing our experience yet staying connected to the essence of stillness and calm.

In order to stand in a place of peace in the eye of the storm, we need to own what is ours and let go of the rest. That's it...let go by opening up the clenched fist that's clinging onto what feels secure and watch yourself soar!

Good News

Sometimes I feel as though I'm sitting on the edge of impersonating the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. The Grinch, that grumpy, snarly and conniving fiend who tries to put a damper on things. Then something happens, just like all the Who's down in Whoville who begin to sing, that shifts my perspective toward a place of realizing that there is good in the world.

My journey along this years fundraising path has proven that point repeatedly. During this past week, with the flood of nasty and divisive political ads; the news of Malala Yousufzai, the 14-year old Pakistani girl who was shot by the Taliban for seeking an education; and disagreement with my personal bank, I began to feel as though life was looking a bit dire and overly challenging. At times I found myself feeling overwhelmed that I want to help create a positive shift in our planet's consciousness but there are moments that it just seems too hard.

Then something happened that renewed my belief that good can happen in this world.

This past Wednesday my 13th fundraising event was held. This came about not through anything that I did, but through something I said. Over the summer, I was speaking with Shannon Sinsheimer, a local naturopathic doctor at the Optimal Health Center. We ran into each other at the health food store and were catching up with what we'd been up to over our summer. I mentioned the Global Seva Challenge and raising awareness around the prickly issue of sex trafficking in India. Whatever I said, lit a spark within Shannon who immediately replied, "I want to do something to support you. This issue is so important and needs to be given attention."

And when I arrived at the Optimal Health Center for the event which was a night of services, everything was already buzzing. All of the staff volunteered their time and skills to the night. The massage therapists were booked solid for almost 2 1/2 hours. The chiropractor was doing assessments, the nutritionist offering advice and Shannon was giving B 12 injections. Delicious vegan fare was being sold by Pea Shoots Cafe who donated 100% of the proceeds to the evening and I had a table set up selling wristbands, tees and tanks.

People kept arriving for the two hours of the event, asking questions and taking an interest in a good cause. This all happened through emails being sent out to patients and posts on Facebook. Not only did we raise close to $1200 that night, but what it did was much more.

It helped me to remember all the good that is within peoples hearts. It helped me to remember that even in the dark times, light is always present. It helped to remember that just helping ONE girl out of the sex trade and into a better life is worth it. In fact, my husband found the following quote which pretty well sums it up:

Making A Difference

An old man walked up a shored littered with thousands of starfish, beached and dying after a storm. A young man was picking them up and flinging them back into the ocean. "Why do you bother?" the old man scoffed. "You're not saving enough to make a difference." The young man picked up another starfish and sent it spinning back to the water. "Made a difference to that one," he said.

You make a difference every day.

Does This Feel Good?

 

 

It came to me in a flash of inspiration as I was teaching a class to my chair yogis this past week. We were doing shoulder rolls and I could tell by the look on peoples faces that it felt really good. I asked the class, "Does this feel good?". They replied in unison, "Yes!". Then I asked, "Do you want to feel good everyday?" to which they replied, "Yes!". To which I replied, "Then do it every day!"

It sounded so simple. Want to feel good? Then do something everyday that makes you feel good. Now, you might be thinking (as I did) why don't I? What gets in my way from doing something that actually nourishes me on all levels of my being?

I have moments when I consider doing something and have a flash that although it might seem good, is it actually doing me good? For example, when I look at a glazed doughnut I think, "yum...that looks delicious. I'd love to take a bite out of that!". But, something stops me from doing so and I believe it to be experience. In the past, eating a deliciously sweet, yeasty glazed doughnut would give me this feeling of contentment...fleetingly. Then the result of it was a headache from the sugar and a bellyache from the gluten. What seemed like a good idea actually didn't serve me in the long run. So what I thought would satisfy my sweet tooth, aggravated the other systems in my body.

Another example is saying "yes" to something which swings us out of balance by overcommitting. We might think we're being supportive of someone or something else, but too often I witness this as going to our own well once too often. We tap into our reserves and over time the proverbial well runs dry. We are no longer able to offer a helping hand to others because we haven't re-stocked our own energy stores to be able to do so. I have seen this so often reflected in people making themselves sick by simply saying "yes" to others and not to themselves.

So how can we get on the path of doing something that makes us feel good everyday? First, let's identify what it is that floats your physical, emotional and spiritual boat. When people move and stretch their bodies - it feels good. When people nourish their bodies with whole foods and oxygenate their cells through breathing- it feels good. When people drop all that they're doing and quiet their minds and close their eyes - it feels good.

When we over-caffeinate, consume too much sugar or processed food, don't get enough sleep, overcommit, move too little or stay connected to our technology all day long - it doesn't feel good.

This is an opportunity to identify what makes you go "ahhhh". It often doesn't take more than a few seconds to roll your shoulders or take a deep breath.

In fact, you could try it right now...let me know how it feels. Feel good? Want to feel good every day....?

Giving and Receiving

I recently took my first Acroyoga class at Bhakti Fest. Acroyoga is a mix between Thai yoga massage, yoga and acrobatics. It relies on the basic principle of trust with one person being the base and the other the flyer. The experience for the base and the flyer was quite different. As the base, we needed to be steady, centered and calm. As the flyer, we needed to trust, rely on the cues from the base and then surrender. Once the flyer let go, the bliss began to unfold.

This leads me to my thought of the week-- how we are in a constant exchange of energy. We give. We take. But often not in the most balanced way.

Having my yoga practice housed within a women's medical health center means that I see familiar issues amongst many students. One of the biggest is the amount of energy that women give out to others. It's as though the DNA of females has a mighty voice to look after others whether they be a beloved partner, kids, friends, businesses or social groups. And yet in the process of doing so, they are often starved of what makes them flourish.

As a result, these women often stumble into class begging for savasana (SHA-vah-sana - the final relaxation pose that I offer at the end of every class). When I ask the question of "what do you need from your practice today?" one of the most frequent answers is savasana! This response tells me two things. First, relaxing in a fully supported posture just feels good. Second, that most people don't allocate time for themselves to enjoy such moments. They're always sending their energy in one direction...out.

If you take a broader look of the balance of the universe, it is constantly giving and receiving. Energy flows in two directions...in and out, so if we are always sending energy away from ourselves, eventually we'll tip into a state of imbalance. Sometimes this is so subtle, that we don't recognize it's happening until we're fried, tired and wired.

Have you ever been in a relationship that only goes in one direction? You call, email, text or write but rarely receive anything back? It's like sitting on one side of a seesaw and expecting things to move. It won't. You can give it your energy by sitting on one side but unless somebody else contributes, you'll stay sitting in the same place. It's like the tango...it takes two.

This can be personal or professional in its occurrence but it's always in relation to someone else...often the relationship we have with ourselves. After awhile of one way energy flow, you feel as though you've been emptying your tank into a black hole of consumption. You give but never receive and in the process, realize that perhaps this relationship is no longer serving and supporting your own needs. So what do you do?

I have come across people who have made conscious choices to clear the "toxic" relationships out of their lives. Toxic, in my definition, means shifting away from interactions that don't feed or meet your needs. By staying connected it furthers our own suffering; by letting go we begin to remove obstacles that keep us from being freer in our lives.

Bliss comes with letting go of what limits us. If a toxic relationship is putting shackles on our own growth, then maybe it's time to re-think the give and take. We may be better at giving than receiving, but either way we need both. Besides, it's more fun to seesaw and tango with someone else willing to step into it with you. Including that all important relationship...the one you have with yourself.

Constant Motion

When I was a young kid, I had a LOT of energy. I was in perpetual motion...cartwheeling my way through life, leaping at any seemingly opportune time (like the supermarket aisle), and fidgeting. I always seemed to be fidgeting and as a result was told to "stop moving and sit still".

These were prophetic words seeing that as an adult, I have made it my personal mission to find my own inner stillness as well as teach it to others. It obviously didn't come as my default setting and has been something that I've had to practice over a long period of time.

Have you ever paid attention to how much time you spend fidgeting? Do you frequently pick at your fingernails, tap your toes, run your fingers through your hair or tug at your ear lobes? How difficult would it be for you to sit completely still as you are in a conversation with somebody else?
Our culture rewards us for constantly moving, doing and striving. If we sit still we may be labeled lazy as opposed to those who are seen as being busy and engaged. If we're moving and busy, then we must be doing something worthwhile and important.

As in anything, a continuum exists between doing nothing at all and being overly committed to activity. My thought for the week is can you do both (not at the same time)? Can you be productive as well as experience complete stillness and inner quiet? Ahhhh....now that's where our yoga practice comes into its full glory.

To paraphrase my teacher, Judith Hanson Lasater, "an advanced practitioner of yoga is someone who can be at ease and in stillness no matter which posture they're doing". We often think of advanced yogis as those who can do a full lotus during an inversion, a full wheel or who seem to be able to fully express any pose thrown their way. But the underlying question is can they do it and be fully at ease with breath and thought? It truly takes it to the next level of being in our yoga when we reflect the ancient teachings of asana (posture) as being in a comfortable seat.

The next time you step onto your mat, try finding the still point within each posture. The point at which everything feels within balance is the moment we can easily be with our breath and no struggle exists. It can really alter your experience.

Fidget first, find the pose then open to stillness. It'll take your practice to another level. Enjoy the journey!

Empty and Full

 

 

The breath is a vital part of every yoga practice. It has countless functions with the most obvious being that without it we would cease to be. When a newborn enters the world, that first breath, an inhale, is what truly marks its arrival. And when we come to the end of our time, that final breath is an exhale. The journey in between that initial inhale and final exhale is filled with opportunity to really have the experience of breathing.

In classes this past week, we explored the breath from the perspective of fullness and emptiness. To begin this experience, exhale the breath by drawing the navel center back in towards the spine to press the breath out of the body. Pause and get a sense of feeling as empty as possible. On the inhaling breath, comfortably fill the lungs up to get a true experience of feeling fullness within. Retain the breath for a moment before starting the exhale. We repeated this process for numerous breaths, noticing the constant shifting from fullness to emptiness to fullness and so on.

As I taught this process throughout the week, I began to connect the breath to the metaphor of life. The fullness of breath can relate to abundance in our every day worlds, from our most basic needs being met (food, housing, clean air and water) to the quality of our relationships and what opportunities sit before us. Emptiness is the space in which life unfolds, where seeds are planted and manifestation takes root. It's realizing that we need both to explore our full potential.

It's that idea of how things are constantly moving, that nothing is permanent and states of being are always shifting. We're hungry, we're full; we're busy, we're bored; we're energized, we're exhausted; we're happy, we're sad.

When we connect to the abundance in our own lives we connect with a feeling of gratitude and when we realize how much we have, life just seems better. But, perhaps more value could be placed on the emptiness of life. Sitting in silence, noticing the physical wide open spaces of our natural environment or spending time in solitude. When we are able to release the striving mind into a spaciousness of being fully present with what is, the seed of potential begins to awaken.

Just as the breath shifts from empty to full, so does our existence. Both are part of the whole experience and yet, completely different.

The Right Way

Have you ever been in a yoga class and the teacher cues a pose, such as Warrior One, and says something like "line up your front heel to the middle arch of your back foot". And then, you go to another instructor's class and they cue Warrior One by saying, "keep your feet hip width apart and shorten your stance". And if you went to a third instructor's class, they might say something completely different to the previous two. What do you do? You probably find yourself asking the question, "Well, which way is the right way?".

I raised this topic in classes that I taught this past week and it opened a beautiful door of discussion. Many students of yoga want to think that what they're doing is the right way to do it, mainly to ensure that they get the benefits of the pose and don't injure themselves. At least, that's what I project that they want and from a teachers viewpoint, my first objective is to keep things absolutely as safe as possible. I hold the intention that our yoga is a lifelong practice and to keep getting ourselves onto the mat, we need to know how to manage the obstacles that might keep us off our mats.

Some of those hurdles could be injury or recovery from illness. I have come across people who have an injury and completely step away from their practice rather than into it. This might be due to the idea that they've only practiced one way and they can no longer. To stay with the practice they have to alter their approach and that often means returning to a beginners mind. How can I manage my injury yet still stay connected to my practice? Am I able to let go of the more challenging class for a gentle or restorative practice?

Thinking about the right way to practice any pose, I came to my thought for the week. That is, that the right way to do a pose is the way that your body allows you to do the pose. This translates to each practitioner being responsible for what's happening in their physical selves, even if it means doing it differently to how the instructor has presented it. Not every body can fit into every pose and if we impose an ideal of what it should look like, then we skip over the part about it being our practice.

Granted, different lineages teach poses differently. What I love exploring is how can we honor these traditions and honor what our bodies are telling us simultaneously? Sometimes they both agree and at others, the body might be giving us different signals.

Here are the basic guidelines I like to offer my students in raising their awareness as to what the right pose is for them:

1. If you feel pain, it's not right.
2. Avoid forcing your body to do any posture. With timely progressions and warm up, your body will naturally move into a pose more deeply when it's ready.
3. If you feel discomfort, that's OK as long as it's not pain. Yoga often puts us into uncomfortable and unfamiliar positions. Find your breath and explore. If it moves into being painful, it's time to back off.
4. Know that your pose is going to look different to everyone else and that's the beauty of it.

With compassionate instruction and support, the right way to do a pose is your way. So, onto our mat and explore!

That Other List

I often refer to taking line items off of our "to-do lists" to open up more space in our lives for things that serve and support our own personal evolution. In a conversation the other day with a dear, long-time friend, she made reference to her "joy list". "Joy list"? I hadn't thought of it from that perspective. Hence, this conversation has led me to my thought for the week...creating a "joy list".

If you're anything like me, there's an on-going tug of war between the need to complete a "to-do list" and the all I want to do "joy list". Why is it that so often I feel that I can sneak a peak at the "joy list" only after the "to-do list" has all of its items crossed off? Is the "to-do list" that much more important than the "joy list"?

I wonder if it's just a further expression of how we are raised. You get dessert after you finish ALL of your vegetables. You can't watch TV until your homework is complete. Do your piano scales before launching into Beethoven's Fifth. Do the drills on the tennis court before you can play a match. Warm up before going for an all out sprint. Clean your room before your friend can come over for a play date...and on it goes.

Many of these steps are important to preparing us for a better outcome. Without a warm up the sprint could result in a pulled hamstring. Without doing our scales, the fingers might not be as fluid. And we all more or less agree that education trumps TV. But what about when we reach adulthood and our time is more our own? We all have responsibilities and creating a list of priorities can be rather time efficient.

I know that if I give my husband a "honey-do list", it spreads the load and eases my burden. I truly feel we're in partnership when I come home and all that other stuff has been taken care of - yea team! But this weeks thought is more of how we so easily give more credence to the "to-do list" than to the things that bring us joy. Isn't experiencing joy as important as getting the mundane accomplished? In fact, isn't it more important?

I have written about the Purusharthas before, that is, the purpose of our soul. They are dharma (our purpose), artha (tools needed), kama (inherent joy) and moksha (freedom). This deep philosophical inquiry even states that kama (joy) is vital to living our life's purpose, not "honey, did you take the garbage out?".

Another perspective is to find the joy in the mundane. We can do this simply by being fully present with whatever it is that we're doing. A mindfulness approach to our daily activities puts us into the experience of "now", rather than taking us into the projected daydream state of what else we could be doing.

My question is to look at what brings you that uplifted feeling on a regular basis? It could be the simplest of pleasures such as walking barefoot on the earth, feeling the sun on your skin, having a conversation with a friend or doing something for someone else. If you're keen to explore this more deeply, write down three things that bring you joy each and every day. And begin to be more present with what is.

Put that at the top of your "to-do list" and see what unfolds.

Expanding the Network

During my recent trip to Australia, I spent some time fundraising for the Global Seva Challenge to India. One particular event was held on a rainy Friday night in Melbourne and I was wondering how many people would venture out to participate in an event led by someone they didn't know. My feeling was that any awareness or funds that were raised were better than doing nothing at all.

One of my new yoga friends hosting the event, Fiona Hyde, who owns Williamstown Yoga, was also uncertain as to who would roll up. Our mantra became "let's just put it out there and see what happens." What unfolded was quite a striking evening. I realized as I met with a small, but committed and curious group of people, that what had begun as a challenge for me back in February had grown bigger than I could have ever imagined. Before I committed to trying to raise $20,000 for Off the Mat, Into the World, I had a deep fear of failing. How would I go about raising this amount of money? How would I begin to talk about the emotional subject of human slavery? Did I know enough people to reach what seemed to be an enormous amount of money and a lofty goal?

As I sat in a candlelit circle, with a borrowed harmonium in front of me, I was overwhelmed by this feeling of connection - of how a simple idea of stepping into a place of fear for a cause bigger than myself, had landed me across the Pacific Ocean with other like minds. It was simply stunning to hear a couple of the people at the event say, "I don't know what compelled me to be here tonight. I had other plans, but something deep inside told me that this was important."

And I guess that's it. That some inner wisdom, some voice from deep within speaks loud enough for us to pay attention. For me it was that inner voice that started as an idea, one based in fear no less, that manifested into a gathering where the collective was aimed at doing something bigger than all of us. Simply sitting together, singing kirtan, raising our own vibration and setting an intention of support, empowerment and love, we felt we could make a difference and authentically alter the course of someone's life.

My thought of the week is this. Believe that inner voice that often speaks only in a whisper and as you begin to listen more intently, recognize that fear is just a fleeting symptom of something big.

And go for it!

What Is Enough?

I realize that when something keeps popping into my awareness, over and over, it's a likely lesson in disguise. This usually happens the third time I notice something within a relatively short period of time.

The most recent lesson that's had a neon like quality is that of being satisfied. It was initially prompted by my teacher Judith Hanson Lasater at the recent Yoga Journal Conference in San Diego. I had the honor of assisting her and during one of the session, an insistent student was asking Judith if she had tried a particular product. Enthusiastically, the student said "if you endorse it, put it on your web site, you could probably get a sponsorship deal out of it". Judith, paused for a moment and gently replied, "but I don't want a sponsorship deal. I'm happy with what I've got. What I have is enough".

The second sign of this being a lesson has been in reading the book, The Soul of Money by Lynn Twist. This fascinating take on our relationship to the energy of money prompts the question of when do you know you have enough?

The pervasiveness throughout our culture of striving is so familiar, that we often don't stop to say "I can throttle down a bit, because what I have is sufficient". Instead, we drive ourselves to the next level of getting, being and doing...whatever that means. For me, it's constantly studying, working on growing my business and figuring out a way to maintain optimal health as I age. To me, these are worthy ways in which to focus my energy, but at what point will I know that it's enough?

I suppose by simply pausing to ask the question "is what I have enough", keeps the overdrive from automatically kicking in. If I can take a moment to shift my paradigm of thought to what would it be like to let go of the striving, then I offer myself a different opportunity. The chance to feel satisfied with being enough, having enough and doing enough. And isn't it sometimes that shadowed feeling of unworthiness that propels us to shoot for more?

Ahhhh....now I'm getting to the realization that my satisfaction isn't so much about having or being more than I am, but being OK with what I am in this moment.

Simply I am enough.

A Change In Plans

 

 

For the past six years I have had a daily meditation practice. It has morphed, evolved and changed locations, yet each day I have made my way into the practice one way or another.

My current morning practice is fairly ritualized and goes something like this. Wake up, drink water, neti post and make my way into my sacred space. I have a long, low altar in a dark wood of Asian design upon which I light candles, have photos of beloveds and various items that hold meaning such as gifts from students. I find my comfortable seat, light candles and read from A Year of Living Your Yoga, Daily Practices To Shape Your Life by Judith Hanson Lasater. Some days the passage resonates perfectly with where I'm at and others it results in a few moments of contemplation.

Next in my process is to engage my breath and chant usually a Hindu-based mantra. This past year, I've been learning the Hanuman Chalisa, an epic 40 verse tribute to the all-serving monkey God, Hanuman. When the chant is finished, I sit for another 20 minutes or so until my Insight Meditation timer sounds its bells and I close my session by chanting OM three times, bow down and head off into my day.

And this has been the usual pattern for most of the past six years. The only time it has changed is when I'm out of my ordinary day, traveling or experiencing illness. Regardless, I make time for it no matter where I am.

One of my sweetest experiences with my morning practice happened about a week ago. I was staying with friends in San Diego as I attended the Yoga Journal conference. These friends are not only generous, but dear fellow yogis. They have two kids who are six and almost eight years old who love to hang out with us when we visit.

After the conference on the Saturday night, I made it back to their place with about 45 minutes to spare before the kids were heading off to bed. They were both keen to play with me, but had to hit the hay instead. I said to the eight year old boy that maybe we could hang out in the morning before I had to leave for the conference but no promises were made.

On the Sunday morning, I was up just before 6 am and launched into my usual meditation practice...sitting cross legged on the bed, earplugs in chanting the Hanuman chalisa. During this, I hear a rumbling of footsteps from upstairs, but I pay it no more attention than noticing it. In another few minutes, I hear my bedroom door, slowly creak open. I can't help myself and slowly peek out of the corner of my eyes to see the young boy, standing silently and still, staring at me.

In this moment I have a few choices: 1) shoo him away; 2) ignore him completely or 3) invite him in. The less evolved Jayne might have stayed with the thought of "this is MY meditation time and he'll just have to wait. It's not OK for him to interrupt me". But, I didn't, the more evolved Jayne showed up. I signaled for him to come in and wait until I finished the chant.

It was the sweetest of meditations. I let go of my own agenda to show up for the unbridled enthusiasm of a young child who wanted to spend time with me. What a gift. No longer was my lesson the ritual of my own practice, but something so much bigger. Welcoming all that arose in that moment through opening my heart and practice to a younger being and by doing so, my own heart expanded.

The change of plans helped me to remember to be flexible in my often rigid practice. To invite the sweetness of a child into my usually childless life and to know that my connection to essence is not always in sitting in silence but sometimes in holding space for others.

Thanks for the lesson my little friend!

May I Be Kind

Compassion.  It's the one take-away word that stayed with me when I sat with 10,000 other well-behaved Melbournians listening to His Holiness, the Dalai Lama.  He said many other poignant and insightful things that night, but compassion was at the core of all of it.

This past week in classes, I opened with the breath of compassion.  As you inhale, you breathe compassion to yourself and as you exhale, you send compassion out into the world.  Further to this practice, we anchored with a mantra or statement which was on the inhale, "may I be kind to myself" and the exhale, "may I be kind to others".

So what does compassion look like in action?  Specifically, what does it look like when you are practicing compassion for yourself?  Part of this is rooted in the yoga sutras of Patanjali, where the first facet of the eight-limbed path is the yama-Ahimsa.  Ahimsa is often translated as non-violence, but simply putting "non" in front of violence doesn't necessarily denote its truest meaning. 

Nischala Joy Devi in her book The Secret Power of Yoga describes Ahimsa as "embracing reverence and love for all, we experience oneness" and says it "is a vast and continuous practice".  When we have the intention of holding reverence for all beings, including ourselves, then we are living from a yogic perspective.  As soon as we move away from this towards a more harmful way, we are no longer practicing yoga.

This includes eliminating violent acts against ourselves.  You might be thinking, "I don't act in a violent way towards myself...I'd know that I was hurting myself".  However, this can be subtle self-sabotage that has been such a part of our lives through childhood and cultural influences that we simply don't recognize it as being harmful.

Personal acts of violence might include obvious acts, but in a more subtle way things such as:  over/under eating; drinking too much alcohol; over/under sleeping; pushing yourself into yoga postures you're not quite ready to do; and toxic thoughts about yourself such as I'm too fat/thin, not good enough, uncoordinated, clumsy, inflexible or don't know enough.    We can harm ourselves through thought and action, ways that simply don't support us.  For many people simply saying "no" (to those who tend to have too much on their plate) can be a first step in self-kindness.  

It's one thing to recognize when we aren't acting from a place of self-love, but can you recognize when you are?  Posing these questions might help to shed some light onto your higher self:

When I am kind to myself, how am I acting?  How am I speaking?  What am I thinking?  How am I being?

When we begin to fully immerse ourselves into the experience of love for self, it can't help but ooze out and away from us.  Love begins within, true love that is unfiltered and bubbles up from the soulful inner voice.  When we truly hold compassion for self, holding for others becomes more familiar and easier. 

When we tap into this source, we are fully engaged in our yoga practice.  The Dalai Lama kept it simple...compassion.  If we practice it, we can experience its collective power.

Striving For Stuff

This past week we watched a documentary called, I AM. Created by Hollywood comedy director Tom Shadyac (Ace Ventura: Pet Detective), Tom diverges away from comedy and gets contemplative. Following a significant physical challenge that left him thinking about his own life, he seeks out prominent philosophers and spiritual leaders about what ails our world and how we can improve it.

Part of the question was prompted because as his success in films grew, so did his wallet and his acquisition of houses, cars, property and the use of private jets. One day an ephiphany struck as he stood atop a grand staircase in a 7000 sq ft Hollywood home. He had more stuff, but he wasn't any happier.

The American dream is pounded into us from birth. The ideal of owning your own home, with a yard and dog and perhaps a perfectly sized nuclear family of two adults and two kids. We are told that if we work hard, whether it be through education and a professional career, or through building a business or learning a trade, that we will find success which equates to happiness.

At some point along this dreamy path, excessive consumerism seemed to explode. The size of the house grew as did the number of cars needed to shuttle the family and still have space to hold our oversized purchases from big-box stores like Costco. The keeping up with the Jones' has become Olympic-like in its pursuit.

I'm not getting on my high horse around having stuff. I live quite comfortably in a beautiful house, in a lovely neighborhood, with a pool and a dog. Technically, I'm doing it...I'm living the American dream. I do work hard and run my own business. The question is, am I happy because of it? Basically, yes. I have more than my basic needs met and have created a serene existence doing what I love.

Then why do I sometimes struggle with the feeling that it's not enough?

Two words spring to mind: humility and gratitude. When I awaken to my own abundance and recognize that I am fortunate, I realize that I have more than enough. It's a humbling moment and is particularly potent when I travel into the third world (India & Africa) and see how happy people seem to be with so little.

It makes me feel as though my western abundance is just the frosting on the cake. But without the cake, the frosting isn't quite the same. The cake is how I choose to live consciously, compassionately and with purpose. It means staying connected to a deep sense of gratitude for all that is.

I AM was a great reminder to keep my "striving for stuff" in perspective. Just because I receive a new Athleta summer catalogue in the mail doesn't mean that I need a new swimsuit for the season. I have plenty and having more won't push me up the happiness scale, only gratitude will do that.