Self-Care: What Does It Look Like?

Overwhelmed. Anxious. Freaked Out. Scared. Desperate.

Those are the words that opened last week's blog and guess what? With the Covid-19 pandemic rapidly altering how we live on a daily basis, these same words are still appropriate. The external stressors haven't disappeared, if anything, particularly here in the USA, they've ramped up. With orders to stay home, businesses closing, people getting laid off, and uncertainty still abounding, it's not too surprising that people's levels of stress are high.

This week in our online classes, we've been exploring the idea of what it means to look after ourselves, not only physically, but in all aspects of who we are. It's common knowledge that in order to age well, we need to do such things as having good nutrition, moving our body on a regular basis, avoiding being sedentary, creating strong social bonds, and getting a good and consistent amount of sleep. These are related to bio-markers of good overall health. So, of course, during times of higher stress, these are still important and, perhaps, even more so. 

From my perspective, looking after ourselves isn't only a physical pursuit but an all-encompassing one. Our yoga practice supports us in checking in with how we're doing and awakening us to areas of our life that may need more emphasis. And it's a daily inquiry. How we feel today may be quite different from how we felt just two days ago, so checking in on a regular basis assists us in finding equilibrium.

Imagine a body of water with a surface that is wavy with whitecaps. Now picture yourself as a scuba diver, dropping below the agitated surface into deeper, calm waters. As you descend, stillness increases and you can only hear the sound of your breathing through your regulator. This image is a metaphor for our current situation. If we stay at the surface, we notice high levels of anxiety and agitation, particularly if we have a steady diet of social media and news watching. Our practice becomes the refuge in which we release the external agitation and dive deeply into what's beneath the surface. By entering a still and quiet environment, we see more clearly what's pulling us away from inner peace, up to the surface and have an opportunity to address it.

I remember a time when I was cranky and abrupt. I wasn't being as kind to myself and others as I would like to be but couldn't figure out why I was in such a mood. So as I sat in meditation, I allowed myself to "get underneath" the crankiness. What I discovered was that I was deeply sad. It was during a time when there was yet another mass shooting and some other sad event happening in the world which I found deeply upsetting and feeling completely powerless to change the situations. Sadness was the underlying cause of the crankiness and the moment I unearthed it, I offered myself compassion and the mood shifted.

During this time, we ask ourselves what it is that we need...today. Find yourself in a quiet and relaxed position and check-in. Scan your physical body for any places that are holding tension or feel dull. What is this teaching you? Notice what emotions have been present...grief, joy, sadness, love? Are they passing through you like a flowing river or are they getting caught in an eddy? How are you managing your anxiety and stress? Are you connecting to practices and people that support you and lift you up? What are you grateful for? How are you connecting to purpose and the bigger picture of life?

By asking these questions, what we need to care for ourselves floats to the surface and when we know what it is, we can take action. Self-care is an act of loving-kindness...for yourself and for others. May you take this time to look after what you need, on all levels of who you are.

One Breath At A Time

Overwhelmed. Anxious. Freaked Out. Scared. Desperate.

These are some of the words that seem to be describing our current global mood.  Places are shutting down everywhere, people are being told not to travel, to stay at home, to head back to their home countries, to work from home, to stay six feet away from each other, to wash their hands for at least 20 seconds, and for goodness sake-sneeze into your elbow! The world and all its economies are coming to a life-altering, screeching halt. And it's no wonder that the above words are all so appropriate.

Last weekend I decided to close the physical space of my yoga studio. Many of our yoga students are 65 years or older and sitting in a more precarious risk bracket than others. It was weighing on me as to what I needed to do and the stress was beginning to show up in my own life. I knew that if I were being impacted in this way, my answer would be to take caution and lessen the chance of exposure by closing my physical space. It tore at me as so many had been expressing how supportive their yoga practice had been for them and coming into community was an integral part of maintaining vitality. If I closed the doors...then what? So opening a virtual yoga studio seemed like the best option and in under 48 hours, I moved my entire business online.

As I was puzzling out how to make the switch from in-person to online, I found my mind tick, tick, ticking along. And when I noticed it began to impact my ability to fall asleep, I turned to something I knew would support me...my practice. 

One of the strongest reasons we come to the mat on a regular basis is to build resiliency for when life throws us the unexpected. Having a yoga practice allows us to build a foundation of finding our breath, our center, to calm us and to notice our physical and emotional experience, and awaken our consciousness to what serves us in that particular moment.

Yes...the learning curve has been steep but it's worked and I'm now connecting to more people around the country (and world!) than I had previously. People are beyond grateful for the opportunity to say "G'day" to each other at the beginning of practice and to see familiar faces online in a most unfamiliar way.

A practice we've been undertaking this week is to focus on one breath at a time. In a state of not-knowing, conflict or confusion, we tend to spiral upward into a state of greater anxiety. Coming back to the simplicity of one breath at a time can de-escalate the spiral. 

Try this out- Sit or lay down in a comfortable position. As you begin to follow your breath, notice what thought is present at the top of the inhale, when your lungs are full. On the exhale breath, visualize pushing that thought along, as though it's on a conveyor belt and you're choosing not to pick it up. Repeat. You may notice that each inhale has a different thought. Push whatever thought it may be, desirable or undesirable, along with the exhale breath.

My thought of the week is when you notice being overwhelmed, anxious, freaked out, scared or desperate...come back to this breath. One breath at a time.

Time To Blossom

If you make a connection between the title of this week's thought and what's been happening in our global awareness surrounding the Covid-19 virus, you might be thinking..."Really? Now's the time to blossom?" Yes, I get the irony. With an enormous level of fear, anxiety, and uncertainty circulating around the world, news that seems to change every couple of hours, and a heightened state of unknowing, it hardly seems like now is the right time to be radiant. Our instincts are to either isolate and withdraw or to minimize what's happening and carry on as normal.

So from a yogic perspective...what do we do?

The inspiration for this week's thought began during Module Nine of the Yoga Teacher Training. The trainees have been at it for about six months now and are one module away from graduating. One of the students was commenting on how challenging and stressful it has been this past couple of months as their workload has increased and making time for YTT study has been difficult. The group showed tremendous empathy and support for the student and I asked them, "What would have been the perfect time for undertaking this?" to which they replied, "Five years from now, never...I don't know." It's precisely the point. There is no perfect time for so many things that happen in our lives. If we waited until that perfect time, we may never step up to the edge and make a commitment, but procrastinate indefinitely.

At the beginning of the year, I began a year-long mentorship program and it definitely was not the perfect time with the business heading into peak season. However, it has been something that I've been wanting to do for quite some time and cut myself some slack in not having to be "the perfect student" but to commit to what I'm able to and realize I don't have to learn everything all at once. This wiggle room is definitely not my normal M.O. I want to be "the good student" and stand out...it's been quietly sitting in my bones since I can remember. But the drive to undertake something versus keeping it on a wish list eventually tipped into the "go ahead...take a shot...it doesn't have to be perfect category" and off I went.

I've been sharing the story of the lotus throughout the week. The lotus, as a seed, embeds itself in the murky and muddy waters of a pond or waterway. When it gestates, it drops roots into the mud and begins to find its way toward the surface of the water. Some inherent calling pulls it towards the light, toward the surface even though it can't "see" where it's headed. When it gets to the surface, it blossoms into its full radiance. As Thich Nhat Hahn says, "No mud...no lotus". 

And this is us at the moment. We lack clarity as to where the global pandemic of the Covid-19 virus will take us. It's as though we're being dragged through the murky waters of life, trying to find answers. Many of us are looking to outside sources for those answers but our practice reminds us that the truest answers are lying within us. 

Not having clarity, feeling fearful and anxious, we know we have the ability to look after ourselves through what our practices have taught us. Now, more than ever, is where we draw upon the skills we've been working on: finding a slow exhale, connecting into our inner experience, slowing down to make conscious choices, moving our body in a compassionate and kind manner, finding stillness, and connecting to community. Now is the time to be on your mat or meditation cushion. We practice during the calm so that when stormy weather arrives, we aren't caught off-guard. Stressful times reflect how important a regular practice is. It's an act of self-love every time you choose to practice.

We need each other now...even if not directly face-to-face. Turn into your own heart so that it may support those who need it during this time. Deep breath and many more.

Stop and Notice

I love this time of year in the desert and although we are a couple of weeks shy of the Vernal Equinox, we are getting a taste of what often feels like spring. Small patches of wildflowers and cacti are in bloom, the wind is picking up a bit more than usual, and the days are definitely getting longer. And being peak season, it also feels as though the wheels are spinning rapidly and I could easily miss all the beauty that Mother Nature is displaying. It feels as though she's saying, "Hey you! Pay attention! I'm showing you my best stuff!"

What inspired this week's thought happened as I was playing pickleball last weekend. The person we were playing against just lost a point then turned around and looked up and said, "I just need to look at the clouds!" After a few seconds, she turned around and said, "OK...now I'm ready!" I loved this. She took a moment to disengage the agitation that can sneak in after losing a point. It was as though she knew all that was needed was a reset and chose to do it. Perhaps it was enhanced because we were gifted with an unusual and spectacular cloud formation that morning. Needless to say, it wasn't wasted on her...she stopped and noticed. 

Following this pickleball moment, I kept experimenting with this idea as I went out for my morning walks. The intention was to use this time as an opportunity to notice all that was in bloom, feel the wind, notice the types of birds crossing my path, watching cloud formations as well as the changing temperature. It's an easy practice to simply stop what you're doing and notice your current experience. It brings us into the present moment through our senses and, in doing so, we practice over and over again, becoming more conscious of both our internal and external environments.

In a deeper discussion about stopping and noticing, a conversation came up about being in situations that are challenging and/or unpleasant, such as a heated familial discussion or the ever-precarious political conversation. In those moments, taking time to pause our own engagement allows us to check-in and notice what's happening in both our body and our emotions. Have you noticed during a heated conversation or disagreement how your body physically reacts? Some common experiences are tight shoulders, clenched jaw, nausea, a rapid heart rate and a rise in blood pressure. So often we forget how intricately linked our thoughts are to our physical body, and that arguing, experiencing moments of rage (road rage perhaps?), negative quips, gossip, or throw-away comments can actually make us unwell, particularly if this is a long pattern of reaction and behavior.

In these situations, stopping and noticing gives us "breathing room" both literally and figuratively to see if our experience can be altered through a different choice. Without the pause, we float along in an unconscious daze acting in ways that are familiar and potentially harmful. Once we awaken to how we physically react, we can begin the often long awakening process of changing our situation or behavior. This is no easy task and requires that we are in touch with our "why". Why are we choosing this and is it important to me? Is it in alignment with my heart, soul, and body as well as how I wish to be living in the world?

The thought this week is to pay attention to the present moment, all of it...the stuff we like as well as the stuff we don't. When we fully sense what's happening, not only are we present but we become empowered.

Easy peasy...stop and notice. Enough said...time to practice!