Intention

It's quite typical at this time of year to pause and reflect over the previous 12-months. We project into the future by setting goals and resolutions and, sometimes, when we get to mid-February what we have earnestly resolved to change has slipped off our radar.  We wonder what happened to our New Year's Eve willpower and determination. Change is challenging and when we slip up, when we realize how human we are, we can feel ashamed of our inability to "get it right, for once!"

One challenge we have when we set goals is that often they have an extrinsic focus, one that is outside of ourselves. It's not an uncommon story to hear how people dip into states of malaise or depression upon accomplishing a major goal such as graduating from college, reaching a sales or fundraising target or retiring from the workforce. Our focus is drawn to hitting the target and when it's over, we can get lost in what's next. Goal-setting itself isn't a bad thing as it can definitely point us in a direction that is desirable and offer certain levels of motivation. But it can also feel empty.

My thought of the week has been to recognize the common cycle of the New Year's Resolution and shift the focus from an external to an internal one - to that of setting an intention. I remember one of the first times during a yoga class I heard the instructor say, "Now...take a deep breath and set your intention." I thought to myself, "What? What do you mean by setting my intention? I'm here. I've shown up! What more is there to do?" And perhaps that was my unconscious intention, to simply make time to step onto my mat.

Intentions are deeper than goals. As I heard it described, when we connect to our highest intentions, we connect to purpose. Intentions are the state of "being" as we are doing whatever we are doing.  And if we can understand the intentions that we hold as being most important to us, it's as though we are inscribing our own daily personal mantra of how we wish to be in our everyday actions, words and deeds. One way to tap into what you hold as wisdom from the best version of yourself is to ask this question, "When I feel that I am at ease, fully present and connected to myself, to others and to the earth, what am I doing?"

I love this question as it gives us a personal frame of reference for what it feels like, in our own skin, to be living in that connection to purpose. When we don't act in accordance with our highest selves, we can actually sense the physical sensation and if we're paying attention, we have a choice in that moment to alter what we are doing. Alongside that practice, when we notice we aren't in harmony with our deepest intentions, we begin to shift by offering ourselves compassion for being imperfectly human. We are motivated how to be in our lives regardless of the outcome.

So imagine that we are sitting opposite a dear one, a beloved. The two of you are sitting in silence, in a space of love and ease and your dear one asks you, "What's most important to you?". How would you answer? What do you hold dear and valuable from the deepest essence of your heart space? Allow yourself to be with this scenario for a few moments. Close your eyes, find your breath and hear the question being asked of you. 

Whatever arises is a sign of your highest self and the wisdom that it wishes to share. Listen as this is the truth of who you are wanting to be expressed through your relationship with yourself, to others and to all beings, known and unknown on this earth. Instead of setting a short-term resolution at the turning of this years' calendar, dig a bit deeper and sense the seed of your deepest intention. Personally speaking, I can't wait to see what blossoms in the new year!

You Carry The Light Within

As I begin writing this weekly blog, it's gray and raining outside. It feels like I should be curled up on the couch in my pj's with a lovely cup of chai. The natural world is beckoning me to turn inward and get quiet. Ahhh...this is what I love about the Winter Solstice! We've just passed the mark of short daylight hours and are now turning more toward the sun with longer days gradually making their way into our awareness. The word solstice literally means "sun standing still" so perhaps, we can take its lead and turn inward during this busy holiday season. 

No matter in which hemisphere you live (they've just passed the summer solstice in the south), we are all called to match nature's rhythms yet, instead of listening we hit the mute button and power on through. It's interesting that the Winter Solstice in the northern hemisphere coincides with what is often a busy and stressful time of year for many. Holiday parties, gift buying, traveling and completing all of those tasks before the holidays hit, often leaving us harried rather than relaxed, disconnected rather than connected. A sense of urgency is everywhere, from long lines at the post office and shopping centers to backlogs in traffic and long holds on our phones waiting to get through to a customer service rep.

As the season turns toward winter, deciduous trees drop their leaves and fruit trees become dormant as they wait to foster what is to be blossomed in the spring. And if we were paying attention to the natural world, we too would allow space to find inner stillness. I love this time of year as it feels as though nature is beckoning me to do the same thing. Get quiet and turn inward. Just over a hundred years ago we were more in touch with the cues of light and would have to get by with lanterns, candlelight, and bonfires. We've lost touch as we have access to electricity 24/7/365.

My thought of the week is to remember our natural rhythms. As the light outside is at its lowest point in the year, we are drawn to the light that we carry within. In yoga, it is thought that all beings are born with an inner divine light. ALL of us carry this very same light. For some, the light has been so buried beneath walls of anger, disillusion or mistrust, that it's nearly impossible to believe that it's even present. Part of our path to "enlightenment" is the idea that we are all connected and in feeling separate from one another, we create suffering for ourselves and others. This light is reflected in the word Namaste', where we place our hands at our heart, slightly bow our head and say the word. My favorite translation of this word is, 

"The light in me, sees and honors the light in you. When we are both there, we are one."

If we take a moment to think about it, that's the recognition of the other person as holding one thing in common with you...the inner divine light. In the blockbuster movie, Avatar, they would place one hand on the other person's heart and say, "I see you". The first time I saw that I thought, "they're saying Namaste' to each other!" It's about connection rather than separation.

One way to turn inward is through the practice of pratyahara, one of the limbs in the eight-faceted path of yoga as written by the sage Patanjali. Pratyahara is a withdrawal of the senses, a turning inward away from external stimuli toward our own inner realm. In the darkest hours whether they be during the Winter Solstice or some metaphorical moment in our life, we turn toward the light. When we sit on the edge of the unknown, staring into the blackened void, we can do one of two things. We can either turn away or we can shine our own light into it. In these turbulent times, we certainly could benefit from shining our inner radiance and therefore our collective beacons to face the darkness. When we are connected to this inner realm, we unveil our highest truth, the best version of ourselves. And when we are there, we connect into the powerful emotions of love and compassion.

Thank you Solstice for the darkness, the reminder to turn inward and connect to the light, no matter how dark it might be or seem.

Begin Again

A journey that began about five months ago came into full manifestation this past week as we opened the doors to our own yoga studio, Desert Yoga Therapy. It's the second time in my long, nearly 35-year career that I've had a place that is my own rather than working within a University, commercial gym or medical office/hospital facility. The first time was a small personal training studio that we set up in our house in Oakland. I loved that self-contained (albeit small) space with its lovely windows and natural light,  and it was an easy commute...just a few steps downstairs and I would arrive at work. That all came to an end when we relocated to Southern California and for the past 17 years, I've been housed in someone else's space. I've been lucky in that chapter with many doors opening generously to offer me a place to teach yoga, run workshops and trainings and work 1-1 with people.

When I found out a few months ago that my role within Eisenhower would be coming to an end I took my time in deciding what the next chapter would look like, and this week, the vision has become a reality.

We begin again all of the time. It's a phrase that's often talked about in the practice of meditation, where upon noticing that you're no longer in your center, you "begin again" by coming back to whatever you're using as an anchor. It may be coming back to the breath, a mantra or focusing on a physical sensation in the body (I like to bring my awareness into my hands). The renowned meditation teacher, Sharon Salzberg, talks about beginning again in her teachings. She says that we may have to restart countless times throughout our session and that is the practice. It's so easy to get drawn into distraction...future, past, problem-solving and to-do lists are ever so tempting places to lay our attention. Yet, the magical moment of the practice is when we notice that we've been pulled away. And, in that moment, we begin again.

In a wider context, this week was about beginning again. In the months of deciding and planning, countless moments arose where I was pulled into distractions: location of the new space, what color should the studio walls be, type of flooring, should I have others teach in the space with me? On it went. It was incredibly easy to get drawn into the details and the long list of items that needed to be crossed off countless lists. When I found myself beginning to carry the weight of it all, I reminded myself to begin again. I had to remember the core reason of why I was doing what I was doing --ultimately to create community, to have a place where I could do what I am meant to do and support others in the process.

We all go through cycles in our lives when something comes to an end and we are then at that next starting point. It can often seem as though we are standing on the edge of a dark abyss, uncertain as to what lies ahead of us as we stare into the unknown. If we are able to remember why we are facing a new beginning and connect to purpose and the big picture, we have a beautiful opportunity to shine our light into the darkness. This time for me has been ripe for creativity. I awake in the predawn hours with more ideas than I've had for a long time and it's a lush time for truly developing a vision that is coming from my deepest self and highest intentions. That alone is not only terrifying but undeniably thrilling.

The other emotion that I've experienced this past week is intense gratitude. It has taken a village to bring this studio forth. My heart is indescribably grateful for the tireless support from my husband, Ed. We've had so many people lend a hand, send messages, flowers, plants and cards, shown up in classes and made postings on social media showing their excitement at this new beginning.

I breathe deeply into my heart and recognize that an intention set over 10 years ago of growing my local yoga community has been realized. I put it out there and although part of me shouldn't be surprised, so much has come pouring back to me. Wow...and to think that I had something to do with that affirms a profound truth. When we tap into our inner goodness, follow what our inner voice is asking of us and try to do so from a place of integrity, we can manifest many magical moments.

Thank you to all who've been my companions along this journey. May all of us enjoy our new sacred space and spread the love into a wider community. I hope to share this new space with you and that our paths will cross soon.

The Swing

Ever since I can remember I have loved swing sets. At recess in school I would bolt out of the classroom to ensure that I'd get a seat. Of course, I'd tire of that and head off to hang upside down on the monkey bars or play some tetherball. To this day if I'm at a park or playground with some kids, I embody that past memory and hop on.

There's something about swinging that has a sense of creating momentum and then letting things take their course with just the occasional leg pump to maintain it all. At each turning point, a moment of stillness exists which is opposite to the sensation of feeling your whole body being pulled toward the earth before taking the next ascent along the pendular path. Effort, let go...effort, let go.

My life has felt a bit like that over the past couple of weeks with a sense of big swings between effort and letting go. I felt crazy busy during my final few days with the job that has just concluded. Shortly after my last day at work we headed off to Iceland for 6-days of exploration and relaxation. Within hours of returning, I hit the ground running in order to open my new studio next week. It feels as though I'm on that massive swing of life with bouts of high intensity, long hours of work and  "getting things done" and then experiencing a completely different sensation, floating in the Blue Lagoon in Reykjavik and spending time in Iceland...completely letting my body absorb and literally soak in the waters of the earth.

 

As I sit and write this, I'm dreaming of floating in those warm, healing waters that tells me I need to be paying attention to keeping myself in balance. We can handle short bouts of high intensity and amped up levels of stress, but if we live in that energy on a continual basis it builds up to something called "chronic stress". As we evolved, we naturally experienced short intense episodes of stress as a mean of surviving whatever might have been threatening us in our environment and when we retreated into our "cave" we recalibrated our nervous systems, welcoming harmony once again. In today's culture, we do so much surviving and so little retreating that we throw ourselves out of whack on all levels of being-emotionally, mentally, physically and spiritually.

I often state how grateful I am for my practice of meditation and yoga -- two things that are a daily ritual which hold the intention of keeping myself in balance. They are non-negotiables in my routine as past experiences have taught me; without them, I'm not nearly as resilient to everyday stressors.

My intention as I launch into the first week of my new chapter is to remember that not everything has to be perfect from the beginning. To allow myself wiggle room to figure it all out and to remember that the reason I do the work I do is to ultimately serve and support others in finding balance and peace within their own lives. My intention is to walk my talk and offer myself compassion for being perfectly imperfect.

Oh...and to let myself play on a swing set and soak in healing waters even if it looks like my own bathtub and not the Blue Lagoon!

Transitions

The past five months have been quite the chapter in my journey. This past week, my three-year stint as the Mind-Body Program Manager of the Eisenhower Wellness Institute ended. I also taught my final classes at the Urban Yoga Center here in Palm Springs who provided us a place to practice after we lost the studio space where we had previously been holding classes. Both of these experiences came about from things that had changed and I needed to find a solution to the question of "what's next?'. I have had some challenges along the way but it all seemed to be the soil in which I was planting the seeds for the next incarnation of my path.

And so here I stand, yet again, at the doorway to something new. When I found out that the program that I had been running would be coming to an end, I took several weeks to take a good long look at what I wanted to do next. It all felt a bit heady and, at times, heavy as I had expected to be in my role for a while longer. Some of the options on the table were to find a local established studio where I could simply teach classes. Another was to rent space within another business. Was this the sign that I needed to step into a completely new direction and try something totally different? Was this the time where Ed and I packed up and set off to travel the world? As I played with these questions and possibilities, I sat down one day and took out a piece of blank paper and decided to simply write down what I LOVE doing.

The list looked something like this:

• Travel
• Teach yoga
• Run retreats in beautiful places
• Support people to go deeper into their practices through workshops
• Teach others to become teachers

It all seemed fairly simple and straightforward. I have been slowly building not only a following, but expanding my own education over the past 10 years. I had students, I had interest and all I needed was a place in which to do it. So began the hunt...for a place that felt "just right". It took three months of looking at local commercial properties in the heat of the summer until we came to find our new location that will become the home of Desert Yoga Therapy.

The new studio space has been undergoing its own transitions with changing out flooring and lights, adding some paint and creating a space in which everything feels welcoming, safe and beautiful. It's on the cusp of being ready and barring any unexpected delays, we anticipate opening our doors in a few days.

In the interim, I am taking a short break. It's been a big load emotionally over the past few months and I'm happy that we booked a trip to Iceland back in April before all of this began to unfold. So we'll bring our warmest clothes, camera equipment and pack our passports to take a welcome hiatus from our "normal" lives. It's time to go into stillness and hopefully see the Aurora Borealis. I'm ready to retreat for a few days, so like a caterpillar morphing into a butterfly, I'll be ready to re-emerge into my next chapter. 

Transitions are happening all the time...some huge and some barely perceptible. If we can stay in the space of being open and radically present, they have the power to transform us. These transitional few months have given me the opportunity to truly be in my practice and to experience the myriad of ebbs and flows. I believe that if this were happening to me some 30 years ago, I would have toppled over in some way and perhaps that's what our life is there to do...teach us to manage the changing tides from a stance of steadfastness and equanimity. Okay...I'm ready for what's next and on a deep level know that somehow everything will fall into place.