Yoga: A Living Practice

 

As I reflect on where I first began my yoga journey some 20 plus years ago, and think about what my practice looks like today, I can definitely see how much it has evolved. Like most everyone who steps onto the mat for the first time, I was swimming in a world where every pose sounded the same-blah, blah, blahasana. My practice was clunky and mechanical. The image I held of being a balanced and healthy person began to be shattered as I felt sensations I'd never felt before and was asked to stand still and gently focus on one thing. What was this all about? It took me several years before I began to gain some level of understanding as to the broad scope of what the practice of yoga and meditation had to offer.

And that's the beautiful thing about it...it's a living practice. As we journey down our endless rolled out mat, our practice tends to magically appear before us. At some point in the process, a shift happens away from the gross to the more subtle aspects of our experience. The more I learn on the mat the more I carry off it and into my everyday-ness. Just when I think I've got it nailed, an entirely new and seemingly raw experience explodes onto my horizon and, once again, I turn to the "what's next" element of my practice. Being a perpetual student is the practice. Learning how to find ease in everything is the practice. Letting our breath become part of our consciousness is the practice. But the practice unfolds as we need it to unfold...there are no shortcuts. As our being is ready to learn, we learn what's next...not sooner than what we are actually ready to understand and digest.

As Sue Flamm said, "yoga, is a lifelong study that continues to reveal itself with years of practice and dedication. Yoga is not perfecting positions, or yoga asanas; it is so much more. Yoga is a living practice. What is revealed to us on the yoga mat serves as a metaphor for our lives." (Puja, Restorative Yoga 2013 p 13).

As we evolve in our practice, what rises to the surface are often things of which we were completely unaware. When my husband and I first started dating I had a habit of saying "ya know" at the end of or in the middle of sentences. I had no idea when I said it until Ed began to repeat "ya know" after my every utterance of "ya know". It drove me crazy as I tended to say, "ya know" much more than I thought. But what happened was that it broke this long-held pattern of speech. What I wasn't aware of, an ingrained habitual speech pattern rose to the surface and the pattern untangled itself. That's becoming conscious. The awakening to unintentional behaviors that we notice and often want to shift. 

In yoga, these are called "samskaras" or what I like to think of as "brain ruts". These are ingrained patterns of that we default to in certain situations. They aren't necessarily good or bad unless we begin to notice that they really do not serve us. In that moment of realization, we have the choice to start digging a new groove of behavior. Over 10 years ago, I began digging my own trench of a meditation practice...every day making the conscious and intentional choice to sit on my cushion. I wanted to create a new samskara, one that would serve me in a way that was better than my previous pattern-that of a morning coffee and switching on the news. And it has served me better by setting my daily compass in the direction I which to point.

A good practice for this thought of the week is to notice if something doesn't feel quite right in your daily patterns or habits. Ask yourself, "what would I like to have more of in my day? How would I like to support a sense of my highest self? Is there anything that I could do now to start creating a new way of being?"

Let me know what you come up with. It might just awaken my own old stuck patterns...ya know?

Honor Your Current State

I recently had a conversation with a friend who was experiencing massive changes in all of life's arenas: business, where she lived and relationships. She was expressing feelings of agitation and frustration at not having the answers and being unable to see beyond the current moment. The words of my teacher, Judith Hanson Lasater, rang loudly in my ears, "If you're confused, be the best-confused person you can be...". I have heard this from Judith several times and have come to learn to be with whatever is going on in our lives. As I wrote a couple of weeks ago about feeling incredibly sad at our local tragedy of two police officers being murdered, I knew that I needed to let myself feel the deep sadness without altering, pushing away or wishing I felt different. And with all emotions they'll change, so instead of becoming attached to them we allow them to flow through us, shifting the energy and being fully present with what's actually happening rather than what we think "should" be happening.

Being with what is, is also part of our physical practice of yoga. This past week, I've been referring to one of the yoga sutras within the text penned by Patanjali 2:48. The sutras were written some 2000 years ago and of the 196 succinct aphorisms, only three pertain to the physical practice of yoga or "asana". If the sutras were written by a westerner today, it would probably be 193 of them focused on the physical and only three on the philosophical approach to the practice! From my perspective, I think it's important to keep feeding the original teachings into the modern class as so much of it is relevant.

This sutra is Sthira Sukham Asanam, which can be translated as"Postures should be steady and comfortable" or "Posture is that which is firm and pleasant". So as we approach all physical postures, we are seeking a balance between the effort we apply to the posture and yet at the same time, seek to have a sense of ease no matter what posture we're practicing. In our culture, we are programmed to "push hard and find our edge" over and over again. What this sutra is saying is to be firm, to find the edge and then back away just a bit...that's the sukham or the ease that is present in all postures.

About 25 years ago, when I first was practicing yoga I knew nothing of these concepts. I was in a class at Melbourne University with my first teacher, Murray, and practicing Warrior Two (Virabhadrasana II), which is a strong standing pose. Murray came over to me and asked me to "stay just as you are" and then called the entire class over to where I was practicing. He asked the class to "look at my pose, then to look at my face. This is what we're trying to do, he said. You can see that her face is relaxed." Without knowing it or trying to be a particular way, I was exhibiting Sthira Sukham Asanam, the beautiful balance between effort and ease. I was immersed in the practice of yoga--that of union.

My thought of the week is to focus on the balance between our exerted effort and what we can surrender in the process. If you want to see a great example of much effort with little ease, spend some time watching people weight lifting at your local gym and watch their faces as they move. When you are in your practice, no matter what type of pose you're doing, can you sense and invite ease into it? A couple of ways to know if ease is present is to be able to easily find your breath and to notice if you're in pain. It's a way of deepening the connection to our own experience and it brings us sharply into the moment.

So why not try it on this week...as you exert yourself, relax and let what needs to be tense be tense and what doesn't...let it go!

Love In, Love Out

This past week has been a challenging one. It's been filled with deep emotions that included sadness, helplessness and a sense of wondering if things will ever change. 

Last week I was fortunate to have fours days in San Francisco with my teacher, Judith Hanson Lasater, and a beautiful sangha of fellow dedicated and long-term yoga practitioners. We've been studying together this past year on the theme of "embodied empathy" and much of what we were practicing required deep inquiry and reflection. When I'm away studying, I'm often quite disconnected from what's happening in my local area so I hadn't heard the news of a tragic event that occurred in Palm Springs until speaking with my husband that night. Two of our local police officers had been shot and killed about a mile from our house and the nearby was put on lockdown for a few hours as the situation was assessed.

Upon hearing this news, I didn't go online to find out more but simply went to bed. However, it was obviously on my mind as I awoke at 4:15 am thinking about what had happened. I began to weep. I lay awake in the early morning hours feeling a deep and profound sadness about what had happened. Having been in my practice for a few years now, I knew that it was okay for me to just let myself feel everything that was arising without the need to change, tamp down, alter or try to fix the experience. So I cried as I thought about the affected families and local police force. I cried for our own precious community that felt suddenly and violently violated. I cried for all of the violence and sadness in the world and wondered  if we would ever reach a tipping point where violence would no longer be part of our daily lives. And I cried because I couldn't see the end to it. I allowed my heart to crack open and weep for all the deep wounds.

Then I allowed myself to think about the perpetrator. I wondered at what point in his life was he no longer held in unconditional love. At what point did love abandon him in his life...when he was a month old? Year old? Ten? The reason I thought about this is because I believe we can't be in unconditional love and be violent at the same time. These two places do not exist in the same moment. And then I thought about the moments in my own life when I didn't feel held in love and it was that moment that I recognized what I needed to do...offer myself love.

This awakening to my own truth led me to my thought of the week, "Love In, Love Out'. We must bring love into our own hearts, offering ourselves self-compassion, self-empathy and self-love. We must fill up our own well of love so fully that it can't help but spill out into everything else that we do. When we are holding ourselves in a place of love, we cannot hurt others or ourselves and this gets to one of the strongest tenets of our yoga practice-Ahimsa. Ahimsa is the first of the Yamas as written by the sage Patanjali a couple of thousand of years ago and has profound relevance today. It is the practice of compassion and love for all beings and the planet. It is the practice of non-harming or nonviolence toward ourselves, toward others and toward the earth. When we hold all in reverence we are steeped in the practice of yoga.

So this week, with so many of us suffering on many different levels, we can offer ourselves love. Breathe love into your own being. We can offer love to others. Breathe love out into the world. Let this become the most powerful mantra and purpose-filled intention of today. 

Love in.

Love out.

The Only Constant Is Change

Last week I was planting the seeds of what I wish to manifest in the future, the opening of my own studio and launching back into being a business owner. The New Moon last Friday was a ripe time for turning inward, visualizing and preparing the soil for what's next. This change into my next incarnation has been bubbling under the surface for a while and it seems that now is the time that the universal energies have converged to make it happen.

One of my primary concerns when I learned that things would be shifting from my current role to whatever was next, was how my students and fellow instructors would transition through the change. In an ideal setting, things would flow smoothly from one location to the next with some anticipated changes but overall continuity would be maintained. As most of us know what we imagine will happen and what actually does happen often times don't have anything in common. Over the past few months I have taken many emotional rollercoaster rides. I'd feel like the answer had been found only to find out that it really wasn't the answer. Then I'd drop into despair that nothing was going to happen at all and I'd be left without answers.

I knew though that I had to remain open and optimistic. I had to remind myself to trust the process of unfolding and to look at many possibilities. I knew that change was afoot and that change can often feel like we are straddling a faultline. I knew a certain element of surrender was being called forth, that I needed to hold on tight but not too tight. I also knew this was the perfect time to truly be in my practice...those many words that I had offered to classes were ringing true within my own ears. Trust, open, breathe, envision and be okay with whatever happens.

One thing that is constantly showing itself in each of our lives is change. Last week's blog on the phases of the moon was a reminder that every day things are shifting. When we forget to recognize that, when we try to hold onto what we know and deny that things are changing, we begin to create our own suffering. Just think about the self-talk as we age..."I wish I felt like I was 25 again", wanting some things to remain eternal but knowing that the natural law is that everything is shifting. 

These reminders come in the form of the seasonal shifts. Here in the northern hemisphere we are just stepping into autumn. It's cooler in the mornings here in the desert, the wind has kicked up a bit and the air is bone dry. Our daylight hours are shrinking and we are beginning to bring out warmer clothes and gravitate more toward soup and hot beverages. Soon, some trees will begin their transition into turning inward by dropping their leaves, resting as they prepare for a spring awakening. 

So as things change how do we stay in balance with it all? Here are a couple of ideas taken from an Ayurvedic perspective that might support us as things change:

• Slow down
• Create ritual in the mundane
• Start to adapt your diet

The first one sounds easy but is challenging to do. Slowing down implies that we recognize that we're moving too fast. As the seasonal snowbirds begin to return to the desert, it's easy to feel the pull of busy-ness. Notice when you're rushing and pause to take a deep breath.

Creating ritual in the mundane supports an ability to become more connected to the present moment through the practice of mindfulness. For example, when you make your morning cuppa, notice the water boiling or percolating; get a whiff of the scents; pay attention to the tinkling sound of your spoon hitting the sides of your mug; anticipate that first sip and feel the warmth radiating as you cradle the cup.

As the season shifts, so too should our diets. Just take note of what's fresh at the local Farmer's Market and indulge in what's seasonal. In the northern hemisphere we can get more grounded through cooked, oily and slightly spiced foods. Think soups and stews rather than cold salads (and the reverse is true for the southern hemisphere).

When we create daily rituals, slow down and know that things are constantly shifting, we are able to better ride the waves of change. Even when those waves seem huge and crashing, we can embrace the idea that change is the result of seeds that have been planted sometimes many months or years earlier. Embrace the blossoming of all that you've planted. Happy manifesting!

New Moon, New Beginnings

Change has been underfoot for a few months as it relates to the work I've been doing with my current employer over the past three years. Our program is coming to an end as is my role within it. It's been a roller-coaster of emotions over the past few weeks as I set an intention of being able to offer a smooth transition of classes from one setting into another.

That's why talking about the New Moon this week has been the perfect place to land. The New Moon happened on Friday, September 30, 2016 which means that it was in 0% illumination, that is, we can't see the moon in the night sky. Although we can't see the moon, it is still there and lit from the other side that faces away from the earth. If we were astronauts floating about in space, we could still see the New Moon being illuminated on the side that nobody on earth would see. As I contemplated and learned more about what the new moon represents, I recognized two things: darkness/light and cycles.

Life moves in countless cycles just as does the moon. The other  morning as I opened my window blind prior to my meditation I saw a waning crescent moon, just the slightest sliver in the pre-dawn sky. Change is constant and is reflected in the cycles of the moon. If you stepped out to view the night or morning sky every day for a week, the moon would never be the same. Each day it shows itself in a different way, moving through cycles of darkness and light.

New Moon's represent new beginnings which is precisely where I am at the moment. With my current role ending and my next chapter about to begin, I realize that I am the one holding the quill of what is to be written. I've had numerous moments of falling into doubt, frustration, anger and anxiety about the process. It has been as though my practice was testing me. "So you think you've got this stuff figured out...how about we throw just another challenge into the mix?". Thankfully, my practice has truly come to life as I am now better at watching the fluctuating moods and emotions. But the whole point is that it does fluctuate, it changes and it morphs, just as the moon does. Many moments have presented themselves in which I could have gotten quite distracted from connecting to my soul's mission. It's had times of being quite a tumultuous ride. But what I have noticed is that I have numerous skills that bring me back to purpose.

Many deep breaths later, many moments of letting go of clenching my teeth and many more moments trying to simply remember the bigger picture and purpose of my life. When I think of the many faces who are touched by this practice and who choose to share their experiences with me, I am deeply humbled and brought back to the space within me that simply knows. We do the best we can in each moment that we have and sometimes it's really hard. And sometimes we think we'll crumble or just want to run away. But then something bigger happens. We connect to community, to our truth and to how we express ourselves. Instead of sweating the small stuff (which I've done plenty of) the focus is drawn back into moving one step at a time to what brings meaning to my life.

The first two weeks of the new moon are ripe for planting new intentions and sowing those seeds over time into manifestation. So as we all experience this new moon, what are you putting in your garden? I know that my garden's soil is rich and ready to put forth the buds and blossoms of what's next. I'm optimistic that the universal forces and mysteries are guiding me in the right direction. I can feel it in my gut.

Now, deep breath, relax the shoulders and take the next step forward.