The Future Buddha is the Sangha

 

This week my theme is the second of three lessons that have truly stood out from time I’ve spent in my yoga practice. Last week, the lesson was one of self-love and a reflection of when we deeply love ourselves, taking time to care for ourselves, and get to know our truest essence, that energy ripples outward. It affects how we relate to ourselves and the world at large.

The second powerful lesson that has emerged from my time on the mat is related to community. As recently as January 2021, I heard a discussion on “the future Buddha is the sangha” and found it intriguing and on point. A sangha is a like-minded community that holds a common intention and what this said to me was that wisdom is held in the collective rather than sitting with one person. Having been a movement teacher and coach for most of my adult life, I have been the person standing in front of others, leading people through exercises, asanas, discussions, meditations, workshops, and retreats. The mantel of “expert” has been place upon my shoulders and people have looked to me for guidance and answers. With the announcement of closing my business and going on indefinite sabbatical many people initially reacted with a feeling of loss. I have been the common denominator in this particular community that truly began in earnest in 2006. And now, that’s changing, so what’s next?

Last week I spoke about being the pebble dropped into a still pond, creating concentrically wider and wider circles. I have been the pebble and what I’m here to share is that I’m not the only pebble.

July of 2012 was a pivotal time for me personally and professionally. I was in the midst of raising money for Off the Mat, Into the World to support organizations addressing the issue of sex trafficking in India. I had a $25,000 goal and spent eight months creating a variety of events to raise the funds. The clothing company, lululemon, offered to hold a donation based yoga class to be taught by me, in their store. For context, it was July in the desert…snowbirds and seasonal visitors had left, it was really hot, and I was thinking that if 15-20 people showed up, I’d be happy. As I was getting ready to teach, people kept arriving and by the start of class, 55 people had shown up. I was stunned. The energy in the class, the collective voice that had gathered to offer support to those who were voiceless just about left me speechless. And from that moment onward, it was as though we were riding a huge wave to the goal-raising finish line.

I knew that when I undertook the challenge I would need support. I was a yoga teacher, not a fundraiser, so I turned to people in my circle of yoga practitioners who did know how to raise money. I needed help and although I don’t find it easy, I needed to ask for help. It was a humbling experience and I always felt it wasn’t me who raised the money, it was we who did.

Since that time, this community has continued to support all of the seva (service) projects that I threw out there…India, Australia, Nepal, and a host of local organizations that simply needed a helping hand. Each and every time, without fail, this community showed up. It has been one of the most gratifying aspects of being in my practice and something that I’m not only immensely proud of, but will honor for all time.

As I close this chapter, the one thing I will definitely miss the most is community. I have had the beautiful opportunity to interact with so many incredible and generous hearts. I wish I had more time to get to know people and their amazing life stories more deeply. So please know, that when we love ourselves and tap into our hearts, listening to what motivates and inspires us in life, we gather a wisdom that is unique to ourselves. We are all unique wisdom keepers and when we bring that together, the synergy of all of us is a potent force, one which I hope will benefit not only ourselves but all beings in the world.

Self-Love

The clock is ticking down on my final weeks of teaching live classes, shifting from a working life to a life of being on sabbatical and embarking on world travels. So, over the next three weeks, I’ve decided to offer up some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from coming to my yoga mat.

I first stepped onto my mat in the early ’90s and what my practice looks like today is quite different from what it looked like back then. I’m incredibly grateful for the many lessons that I’ve learned, for the amazing teachers I’ve had the honor to practice with and who helped shape how I share this practice, and to the thousands of students who’ve guided me along the way. I have found this time of winding things down to be quite humbling as people have expressed to me what it has meant to them to be my student.

If you asked me back in the early ’90s what I thought I would get out of yoga, it wouldn’t be what I’m about to say…self-love. This idea was firmly cemented when I saw this quote by Seren Kierkegaard:

“Above all do not forget your duty to love yourself.”

Apparently, he would sign off his letters to family and friends with the above statement. As I read his words, I was struck by the word “duty”, indicating that loving ourselves isn’t a selfish act or a flippant choice, but one of obligation and commitment.

I so believe that every time we come to the mat or sit on our meditation cushion, every time we show up in whatever form our practice takes, that it is an act of self-care and self-love. When we come to our mat, we begin a conversation with the entirety of our being. We check in with our physical body, we notice our thoughts, we sit with the fluctuations of our emotional state, and we connect to a larger essence of consciousness and meaning. Coming to the mat is never a selfish act, but one of deep commitment and care.

I have often been heard to say that “our practice begins within” and as we open into the spaciousness and stillness by coming into our practice, we begin to establish an embodiment of living from a yogic perspective. What that fundamentally means is that we begin to cultivate a harmonious relationship between body, mind, and spirit. As we embody a harmonious state, it doesn’t stay solely within us but echoes outward. Imagine a still pond and dropping a pebble into it…concentric circles are created from the pebble and move further and further away from it.

This was affirmed by the researcher, Dr.Brené Brown, who found that the data showed that self-love is integral to our connection to others. She says:

“Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them-we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.”

The Buddhist tradition of loving-kindness or metta meditation is positive energy and kindness toward others. The practice is to repeat phrases such as “May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, and may I live with ease” and the starting point is “May I”. As the practice progresses, others are included with “May you” statements from the easier recipients of benefactors and friends, to a neutral person, and eventually out to those who are prickly and may challenge us. The point is the practice begins within and is focused on ourselves before it moves onto others. What we wish for ourselves, is also what we eventually wish for all beings everywhere.

And tying it all back into our yoga practice, one of the guiding principles of yoga is that of compassion, also known as ahimsa. Within the Sutras of Patanjali, ahimsa is the first of the five Yamas and is an overarching practice that pervades all aspects of the practice. Ahimsa is compassion for ourselves, for each other, and for the planet. When we are acting from a place with an intention of compassion and kindness, we are in a state of union and harmony. In yoga, we achieve equanimity by initiating the practice from within our own hearts, being conscious of the impact of our actions, thoughts, and words on ourselves and others.

So I honor you for your own acts of self-love and self-care, for each and every time you’ve stepped onto your mat, and set a timer for your meditation practice. I honor you for taking the time to embody all that you’ve been taught and for becoming the pebble that is dropped into the pond. We would all benefit from more pebbles in the world!

Deconstruction

 

Life is a cycle of creating and letting go; activity and restoration; construction and deconstruction. Over the past 18 months, and more intensely and specifically over the past two months, my husband and I have been deconstructing our lives in order to construct the next phase of becoming world nomads. Prior to downsizing from a large house to a small condo, we had the idea that we wanted to live more lightly in the world, leaving a smaller footprint as well as having greater ease in getting up and going. We were seeking the freedom to make last-minute and perhaps more spontaneous choices without having to look for a dog sitter. We wanted to have smaller financial responsibilities, no monthly mortgage payments if possible, lower bills, and less stuff to be taken care of like a pool and garden. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoyed those things, we loved being pet owners and having a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood, yet it aligned less and less with our intention. If we wanted to be more nimble, we needed to make some changes. We’re now deconstructing our lives to fit into a 10’ x 10’ storage unit, two suitcases, and two day-packs.

As the pandemic came into full force, I had to recreate my business as in-person teaching became impossible. I had to get creative quickly and grow my business in a way I hadn’t anticipated by pivoting to online Zoom classes, creating a robust library of content, and adding online courses. I was simply trying to maintain some feeling of normalcy for myself and those in the yoga community and did what I could to maintain a sense of the familiar.

And then, we decided it was time to make a significant change and leave what we have known for the past 24 years of living in the United States. As the end-date of my teaching draws near, I’m in a phase of massive shedding after years and years of growth, learning, and construction. We have been here before, when we deconstructed our lives in Australia in order to return to constructing a life in the States and arrived with all of our stuff in 14 boxes. We unraveled what we knew in Australia and began to weave together what the USA chapter would look like. We returned without jobs or knowing what would happen and were fortunate to have a home base from which to send a new set of roots into the soil.

The theme this week is to recognize that we are in a constant cycle of growth, maintenance, and letting go. It can be seen in the cycle of the day, the seasons, the moon, and our breath. When we tune into where we are in our life cycle, we are able to recognize the totality of our lives as we move through each of these different phases. From a perspective of mindfulness, can we be present no matter what part of the cycle we’re experiencing?

One way to practice this is to tune into what part of the breathing cycle you’re in as you read these words…inhalation, retention, exhalation, or suspension? By tuning into the breath, we tune into presence. When we’re present, we can sense if we are experiencing equanimity or tipping into a state of past or future. If things are off-kilter, we can call upon the skills of present moment awareness, releasing tension, finding self-compassion, or the joy in the moment. And we learn to practice this by stepping onto our mat or sitting in our meditation space.

Noticing where you are in the cycle of your life is similar to the cycle of a yoga class. We center ourselves and set an intention; we undertake the practice whilst holding the intention softly in our consciousness; we challenge ourselves and we fall into the experience of being in the flow of the practice and ultimately, we let it all go when we lay down in Savasana, the “death” of the practice.

So, no matter where you are in your life, whether you’re creating, maintaining and soaking in the beauty of what you’re creating, or letting it all go, it’s exactly where you need to be. The power of the repeated cycle is an evolution of body, spirit, mind, and equanimity. I hope you are enjoying the ride!

Stop

 

As much as I try not to buy into the notion of busyness, I have to admit the past couple of weeks have been on the hectic side, and it’s through my own doing. Nobody has imposed this busy time on me, as it’s simply a result of what I’ve wanted to manifest in my life…becoming a traveling world nomad. In order for that to happen a few other things need to happen first. You know, stuff like selling our condo, trying to sell a business, sorting, donating, moving, and all the while still working full-time.

I see this time like waves of the ocean…they’re big and ready to knock me off my feet. My preferred wave metaphor is that of even waves that lap at my ankles, not the monster rip-tide ready to pull me under. And I keep reminding myself that this too is an impermanent state and eventually I’ll be getting sand between my toes without feeling too scared to enter the ocean.

The theme of this week is to STOP. Stop what I’m doing and, instead, offer myself a breather and some recovery time without the panic of the beckoning call of the looming deadline. Plus, my body has been dictating when I need to stop bending over, packing stuff, moving things, and sorting. My body speaks through hunger, fatigue, thirst, pain, and headaches, so it’s a good thing I’ve become better at allowing this space to take a break particularly when my to-do list and a timeline are tapping on my shoulder.

Stopping is part of self-care and not a sign of laziness or apathy. Pain is something that often forces us to stop and wisdom is understanding that we don’t need to go to the point of pain before we can back away.

 Part of this week’s inspiration is encapsulated with a quote from Courtney Carver (bemorewithless.com):

“That moment when you think you don’t have time to take care of yourself is the exact moment you have to take care of yourself.”

I read that and thought, yep, that about sums it up and reminded me why creating a daily, non-negotiable practice is vital to honoring the foundation of self-care. By creating sacred space in our day, we are able to stop what we’re doing, check-in with what we need, and simply become the observer of our own experience. If we just keep pushing through, checking things off the list of responsibilities, we so easily lose touch with the essence and sweetness of our lives. Instead of human doings, we’re able to come to the simplicity of human being…just being, with whatever may be happening, whether it’s tickling our toes in the sand or deconstructing the whole of our lives.

Being in the quiet space brings the moment into focus and gives meaning to our lives. And in order for us to be in a space of expansive consciousness we need to stop, to pause, to take a time-out and tune in.

One of my favorite quotes is:

“You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.”

~Old Zen Saying

Fifteen years ago I dedicated myself to a daily practice of meditation, slowly over time, creating a practice that is both dynamic and disciplined. I have kept to this non-negotiable time in a way I never expected, but I have realized how much it sets the course of every day. One of my teachers, Nischala Joy Devi, once said that when we establish our practice on a daily basis, it begins to feel like leaving the house without brushing your teeth. That makes complete sense to me now. I wouldn’t think that every day is a day where I need to decide whether or not brushing my teeth is a good idea…it’s part of self-care and good hygiene. It’s the same thing with a daily practice, it’s part of self-care and good personal (mental and spiritual) hygiene.

A great place to start is in a small, committed way. Set an intention of sitting still, in a quiet place, and count ten full deep breaths. That’s it. It will likely take less than five minutes and I dare to say, you’re worth it! Remember…you don’t have to stop, you get to stop!