It's Contagious

Last weekend I had the privilege of studying with my teacher and 48 or so other students in Berkeley, CA.  In doing so, I caught flights to and from the training.  And although I could write this weeks thought around the topic of a dysfunctional S.I. joint (sacra-iliac in the lower back), instead I was given inspiration whilst waiting for my flight back to Southern California.

I flew Southwest Airlines from Oakland and for those who haven't experienced this airline it goes something like this...you are divided into boarding groups  (A, B & C) and by numbers.  As we were waiting to board, all clustered in a waiting area seemingly too small for the number of passengers, I couldn't help but notice a family with two young kids.  They garnered my attention because the young boy (I'm guessing around seven years old) was getting in trouble.  He was being scolded by both his parents who were telling him to "stand still", which seemed to be quite the challenge for the young boy.  And he wasn't told quietly just once, but harshly in hushed tones a few different times.

The family tussle seemed to die down when I next looked up only to observe that the father who had been chastising his son for "moving around" was standing, wiggling, fidgeting, shaking one leg and chewing on his fingernails.  The fathers' nervous energy was highly contagious...his son had caught it.  But like many contagions, you don't often notice that they're being spread.  Finally, the family pre-boarding call was announced and the puddle of twitching moved onto the plane.

I sat there thinking about the disconnect so many of us experience between our actions and what is reflected back to us.  It was as though the fathers' energy (in this case) was transmitted on a cellular level to the son, yet the father had no idea that he was modeling this behavior and was even more agitated at his son for being agitated!

So, you may be asking, what does a twitchy father have to do with yoga?  The answer...awareness.  What we say, how we move, what we think create the wave of vibration that echo out from us.  If you want to feel more peaceful, surround yourself with peaceful people.  If you want to dance uninhibited, head to a rock concert.  If you wish to be inspired, hang out with inspiring people.  If you want to feel the end of the world is near, watch the news.  If you want to watch your own reactions, head to a yoga class.

What we expose ourselves to is the energy we absorb.  And the energy that we project is detected by everyone we come into contact with.  We don't need to speak the same language to send out good vibrations...a sincere smile resonates loudly in any culture.

If part of the reason you practice yoga is to find a sense of inner connectedness and calm, then you need to be in the vicinity of that quality, whether it be from the environment, animals or other people.  The energy that surrounds us is contagious, so elevate your own sense of awareness to fine tune the vibrations that you wish to penetrate your life.

For the agitated father, I wanted to suggest taking a deep breath and try to release any unnecessary tension being held in the body without spewing it out over his own child.  But, in that moment, that wasn't my purpose.  It was simply to remember to pay attention to my own choices and reflect out the ones of how I wish to be in the world.

Peace, love and happiness is what I'm shooting for...

Get Comfortable

Have you ever had the experience of walking into a dinner party, yoga class or social gathering and seeing someone you've been trying to avoid?  You sit yourself at the furthest point away from the person, perhaps avoid eye contact, or roll out your mat next to someone who you love chatting to.  It's human nature.  We move away from things that make us squirm and move toward things that make us feel comfortable, whether it be people, situations or facing thoughts such as grief.

One of the underlying principles of Buddhism is that all beings suffer.  As we come to realize this as truth, we can begin to move away from the suffering by becoming more comfortable with the idea that it may still be present.  In other words, given that suffering is present, can we alter how we react in the face of what makes us uncomfortable?

This is definitely part of many yoga practices.  Just think of how many times the instructor has put in that double pigeon hip opening pose on the day when you'd rather simply ignore your hips.  The teacher gently coaxes you towards making friends with your hips, yet your hips would rather be walking out the door.  How do we find ease when our physical body is telling us that it would rather take a nap than be uncomfortable?  Or when you're sitting in a peaceful meditation and a leaf blower begins roaring outside your window.

We become more comfortable with the uncomfortable by simply acknowledging that we're uncomfortable.  Then we surrender.  By letting go of the associated tension that comes with the unwanted, we begin to offer a space for potential ease.  We connect to a slow calm breath.  We notice if we've transmitted tension to some other part of our body away from where the main thrust of the pose is occurring.  We invite ease by opening the pathway to do so, rather than turning in the opposite direction and running away from it.

When we start to find more ease through what physically challenges us, we hold the potential to find more ease in what emotionally challenges us.  Grief is a great example of this practice.  When we have a loss in our lives, whether it be someone we loved, a job that held our identity or a relationship coming to an end, we turn toward many mechanisms to ease the pain.  Drugs, denial, isolation, anger and overindulgence are examples of trying to side step suffering.  When we begin to realize that we are in the process of grief we can begin to offer ourselves choices of how we might react.

Much of this begins with showing compassion for ourselves in our loss.  To understand that our grief can be expressed in many ways and through the journey of learning to deal with our loss, we need to hold ourselves gently.  It's giving ourselves permission to simply grieve and to perhaps communicate to others that this is how it's manifesting itself.

By stepping onto our mats, or off our mats into the world of the unknown, we can practice becoming more comfortable with the unfamiliar and uncomfortable challenges we face.  Being on your yoga mat is a great place to start this practice.  All you need to do is to roll out your mat, kick off your shoes and step on.

Off you go...

Let's Meditate

I was so excited this week to receive a link to an article entitled "Meditation boosts genes that promote good health" (click here).

It began with:
"Feeling run-down? Try a little chanting, or meditation - seriously. Such relaxation techniques can boost the activity of genes involved in several processes beneficial to health, and they only take a few minutes each day to show results."
Wow!  So it DOES work and here's yet another study showing how beneficial a relaxation, contemplation and/or meditation practice can be for us on many levels of body, mind and spirit.  Of course this is affirming news as I am approaching the eight year anniversary of my seated meditation practice.  Not only do I feel personally virtuous for keeping with my practice, but now I know that the chances of having longer telomeres is real!
So what is it that keeps us from sitting on the cushion every day?  Studies such as the one mentioned above abound.  We know it's good for us, yet sometimes it seems next to impossible to find the time.  Or when we do it, it feels unsatisfying because our thoughts can be rapid fire and overwhelming, how will we ever get this under any semblance of control?  Aren't we supposed to STOP THINKING?  Yikes!

On my most recent yoga retreat, the question was asked, "so when will it feel as though I've reached my goal in my meditation practice?".  My answer was simply, "There is no goal to be reached.  Our intention is to simply learn how to be present with what is.  We practice observing whatever might be arising in our experience, rather than taking purchase with our thoughts.  We see them come and go, without trying to judge, control, alter or stop any of it." 

In the moments where we notice that we've grabbed onto a particular thought and have followed it into either the past or future, or the "what if" scenario arises, is when we use simple tools to come back to the present.  Bringing our focus onto our breath or a mantra can anchor us back into the present moment.  Try chanting Om Mani Padme Hum (om man-eh pod-may hum), "the jewel in the heart of the lotus", 108 times and see how much else you can think about.  It's as though the tools are like someone holding up their hand to say STOP...and so we do and come back to the present.
One of my teachers once said that once you establish your meditation practice and you miss a session, it will be like leaving the house without having brushed your teeth.  And so it has become for me...part of my daily morning ritual.  It sets the tone for my day and anchors me into my deeper self.  I can set my intention, check in with that inner voice and witness what is circulating in my awareness.  It's as though it's my first appointment for the day and allows me to be ready to hold the space for all of the other appointments to follow.

One last reflection is worth sharing.  Your meditation practice is just that.  It's yours and it's a practice.  It's a personal experience that you can create any way that serves and supports you.  You have nothing to prove to anyone else and although many techniques exist for ways to actually meditate, finding what works for you is the right technique.  The one thing that all traditional meditation practices have in common is that it's seated.  Try launching your practice by sitting 5-10 minutes and building up towards 20-30 minutes.  The main idea is to just get to the cushion and sit.

And you never know...your telomeres might just get a bit longer as well!

Time To Unplug

 

 

How much daily news do you get from the TV or radio? How many times do you check your email each day or receive a "tweet"? How much do you engage in playing games on Facebook or solitaire on your computer?  How much time do you experience silence each day?

My thought for this week was inspired this past weekend during

my annual yoga retreat in Idyllwild.  The intention of the retreat is completely around the practice of unplugging ourselves from our often hectic lives. The idea is to take the residue of retreating into the cooler climes of the local mountains where it's so easy to disconnect and bring it back to our "regular" lives.

Being on retreat is the perfect opportunity to disconnect and unplug. For two full days we put away our cell phones, had no TV or radio. Access to the Internet was discouraged so that tended to limit our time to check on anything other than "urgent" emails. The beauty of having consecutive days of disconnect is that it allows your brain, body and spirit to find themselves in a different relationship to one another. Distractions of our busy-ness aren't given the opportunity to interrupt. Plus, if you add in a daily practice of yoga, meditation, hiking along a mountain trail and watching a sunset whilst dining al fresco, the experience enters a space of potential transformation.

So, how do we then connect to this place of ease and stillness once we return from the mountain top when we have work to do and a schedule to keep? 

My answer is to first, remember the physiological feeling of being quiet and still. When you reach a state of calm, how does it feel in your body?  Where is your calm center located?

Second, create the opportunity to find at least 10 minutes during your day to connect to this inner space. Sit. Breathe. Be. Take a break from watching or reading the news for a few days. Turn off your phone and pick up a good book. Make it a priority...every day.

Stop doing.  Just be.  Even if it's only for a few moments.