Eye of the Storm

 

 

Have you ever felt as though your life was part of the tornado scene in the Wizard of Oz? There you are, minding your own beeswax, trying to simply live your life from one moment to the next and swoooooosh...something seems to derail your best "staying centered" intentions. It's as though what began as a seemingly easy day suddenly has the proverbial cow flying by in the whirlwind of the tornado.

Sometimes things just seem to spin out of control and we find ourselves dazed and confused, wondering what happened that pushed us over the edge. And what seems even more challenging is when we have days like this that stack up on top of each other. We begin to feel that our life is not looking like we want it to look and feels busier and less gratifying than we want it to feel.

So, how can we come into each new day and not get bowled over by life?

I often suggest to clients that one way is to recognize what you can actually control and what you can't. We live in an illusion that we have more control over things than we truly do. How does it go when you try to control someone else's situation? How about when you make a plan and something (like a road closure) stops you in your tracks? How does it feel when someone says, "but you make me feel this or that way"? When we believe that we have more control than we really do, we begin to enter into a place of suffering.

In both Buddhism and yogic philosophy, attachment and clinging are addressed as prime roots of suffering. When we attach ourselves to things, people or beliefs we set ourselves up for the pain of separation from these things.

The one true thing that we can control is how we react to situations. When we begin to recognize this truth, we create a buffer of forgiveness that communicates it's not always our fault when things go awry or that someone feels a certain way. Through our yoga practice we learn to stay with our breath as the challenge escalates, observing our experience yet staying connected to the essence of stillness and calm.

In order to stand in a place of peace in the eye of the storm, we need to own what is ours and let go of the rest. That's it...let go by opening up the clenched fist that's clinging onto what feels secure and watch yourself soar!

Good News

Sometimes I feel as though I'm sitting on the edge of impersonating the Grinch Who Stole Christmas. The Grinch, that grumpy, snarly and conniving fiend who tries to put a damper on things. Then something happens, just like all the Who's down in Whoville who begin to sing, that shifts my perspective toward a place of realizing that there is good in the world.

My journey along this years fundraising path has proven that point repeatedly. During this past week, with the flood of nasty and divisive political ads; the news of Malala Yousufzai, the 14-year old Pakistani girl who was shot by the Taliban for seeking an education; and disagreement with my personal bank, I began to feel as though life was looking a bit dire and overly challenging. At times I found myself feeling overwhelmed that I want to help create a positive shift in our planet's consciousness but there are moments that it just seems too hard.

Then something happened that renewed my belief that good can happen in this world.

This past Wednesday my 13th fundraising event was held. This came about not through anything that I did, but through something I said. Over the summer, I was speaking with Shannon Sinsheimer, a local naturopathic doctor at the Optimal Health Center. We ran into each other at the health food store and were catching up with what we'd been up to over our summer. I mentioned the Global Seva Challenge and raising awareness around the prickly issue of sex trafficking in India. Whatever I said, lit a spark within Shannon who immediately replied, "I want to do something to support you. This issue is so important and needs to be given attention."

And when I arrived at the Optimal Health Center for the event which was a night of services, everything was already buzzing. All of the staff volunteered their time and skills to the night. The massage therapists were booked solid for almost 2 1/2 hours. The chiropractor was doing assessments, the nutritionist offering advice and Shannon was giving B 12 injections. Delicious vegan fare was being sold by Pea Shoots Cafe who donated 100% of the proceeds to the evening and I had a table set up selling wristbands, tees and tanks.

People kept arriving for the two hours of the event, asking questions and taking an interest in a good cause. This all happened through emails being sent out to patients and posts on Facebook. Not only did we raise close to $1200 that night, but what it did was much more.

It helped me to remember all the good that is within peoples hearts. It helped me to remember that even in the dark times, light is always present. It helped to remember that just helping ONE girl out of the sex trade and into a better life is worth it. In fact, my husband found the following quote which pretty well sums it up:

Making A Difference

An old man walked up a shored littered with thousands of starfish, beached and dying after a storm. A young man was picking them up and flinging them back into the ocean. "Why do you bother?" the old man scoffed. "You're not saving enough to make a difference." The young man picked up another starfish and sent it spinning back to the water. "Made a difference to that one," he said.

You make a difference every day.

Does This Feel Good?

 

 

It came to me in a flash of inspiration as I was teaching a class to my chair yogis this past week. We were doing shoulder rolls and I could tell by the look on peoples faces that it felt really good. I asked the class, "Does this feel good?". They replied in unison, "Yes!". Then I asked, "Do you want to feel good everyday?" to which they replied, "Yes!". To which I replied, "Then do it every day!"

It sounded so simple. Want to feel good? Then do something everyday that makes you feel good. Now, you might be thinking (as I did) why don't I? What gets in my way from doing something that actually nourishes me on all levels of my being?

I have moments when I consider doing something and have a flash that although it might seem good, is it actually doing me good? For example, when I look at a glazed doughnut I think, "yum...that looks delicious. I'd love to take a bite out of that!". But, something stops me from doing so and I believe it to be experience. In the past, eating a deliciously sweet, yeasty glazed doughnut would give me this feeling of contentment...fleetingly. Then the result of it was a headache from the sugar and a bellyache from the gluten. What seemed like a good idea actually didn't serve me in the long run. So what I thought would satisfy my sweet tooth, aggravated the other systems in my body.

Another example is saying "yes" to something which swings us out of balance by overcommitting. We might think we're being supportive of someone or something else, but too often I witness this as going to our own well once too often. We tap into our reserves and over time the proverbial well runs dry. We are no longer able to offer a helping hand to others because we haven't re-stocked our own energy stores to be able to do so. I have seen this so often reflected in people making themselves sick by simply saying "yes" to others and not to themselves.

So how can we get on the path of doing something that makes us feel good everyday? First, let's identify what it is that floats your physical, emotional and spiritual boat. When people move and stretch their bodies - it feels good. When people nourish their bodies with whole foods and oxygenate their cells through breathing- it feels good. When people drop all that they're doing and quiet their minds and close their eyes - it feels good.

When we over-caffeinate, consume too much sugar or processed food, don't get enough sleep, overcommit, move too little or stay connected to our technology all day long - it doesn't feel good.

This is an opportunity to identify what makes you go "ahhhh". It often doesn't take more than a few seconds to roll your shoulders or take a deep breath.

In fact, you could try it right now...let me know how it feels. Feel good? Want to feel good every day....?

Giving and Receiving

I recently took my first Acroyoga class at Bhakti Fest. Acroyoga is a mix between Thai yoga massage, yoga and acrobatics. It relies on the basic principle of trust with one person being the base and the other the flyer. The experience for the base and the flyer was quite different. As the base, we needed to be steady, centered and calm. As the flyer, we needed to trust, rely on the cues from the base and then surrender. Once the flyer let go, the bliss began to unfold.

This leads me to my thought of the week-- how we are in a constant exchange of energy. We give. We take. But often not in the most balanced way.

Having my yoga practice housed within a women's medical health center means that I see familiar issues amongst many students. One of the biggest is the amount of energy that women give out to others. It's as though the DNA of females has a mighty voice to look after others whether they be a beloved partner, kids, friends, businesses or social groups. And yet in the process of doing so, they are often starved of what makes them flourish.

As a result, these women often stumble into class begging for savasana (SHA-vah-sana - the final relaxation pose that I offer at the end of every class). When I ask the question of "what do you need from your practice today?" one of the most frequent answers is savasana! This response tells me two things. First, relaxing in a fully supported posture just feels good. Second, that most people don't allocate time for themselves to enjoy such moments. They're always sending their energy in one direction...out.

If you take a broader look of the balance of the universe, it is constantly giving and receiving. Energy flows in two directions...in and out, so if we are always sending energy away from ourselves, eventually we'll tip into a state of imbalance. Sometimes this is so subtle, that we don't recognize it's happening until we're fried, tired and wired.

Have you ever been in a relationship that only goes in one direction? You call, email, text or write but rarely receive anything back? It's like sitting on one side of a seesaw and expecting things to move. It won't. You can give it your energy by sitting on one side but unless somebody else contributes, you'll stay sitting in the same place. It's like the tango...it takes two.

This can be personal or professional in its occurrence but it's always in relation to someone else...often the relationship we have with ourselves. After awhile of one way energy flow, you feel as though you've been emptying your tank into a black hole of consumption. You give but never receive and in the process, realize that perhaps this relationship is no longer serving and supporting your own needs. So what do you do?

I have come across people who have made conscious choices to clear the "toxic" relationships out of their lives. Toxic, in my definition, means shifting away from interactions that don't feed or meet your needs. By staying connected it furthers our own suffering; by letting go we begin to remove obstacles that keep us from being freer in our lives.

Bliss comes with letting go of what limits us. If a toxic relationship is putting shackles on our own growth, then maybe it's time to re-think the give and take. We may be better at giving than receiving, but either way we need both. Besides, it's more fun to seesaw and tango with someone else willing to step into it with you. Including that all important relationship...the one you have with yourself.