Watching The Waves

One morning during our recent "Open Your Heart In Paradise" retreat on the island of Maui, Hawaii, I went to the beach for my morning meditation.  Something happens when I get near the ocean.  I feel as though an ancient and familiar pull draws me closer and closer to the water.  This tug begins before my feet have even landed on the earth, the plane getting closer to the shore and the varied colors of the water can be seen from my window seat. Sparkling aqua light dances where a sandy ocean floor reflects the sun and darker blue where reefs are teeming with life.  I always seem to have the same child-like response looking out of the airplane window, "Hey! Look at the ocean!  We're almost there!"  I can't wait to get my feet wet.


On this particular morning the ocean had a different mood.  The sun hadn't yet come over the horizon so the water was darker.  The beach only had a few people on it, most of whom were seemingly in their own bubble of thought and consciousness, not interacting, just being drawn to the water, perhaps in the same way that I was drawn.


I usually meditate with my eyes closed, yet on this morning it was nearly impossible to not take in the view.  The morning began to unfold in its own perfect awakening, a sublime setting for being fully present.  I sat and watched how the ocean's mood changed.  The waves seemed to be finding their own power and rhythm, coming in groups that seemed to peak in a crescendo of a big wave breaking into a perfectly surfable pipeline.  Then it would subside and become quieter until the next sequence of energy began to build.


As the sun peaked its rays over the horizon, it poked through the spaces between palm fronds and buildings, as though the sun had an intention of just highlighting the most brilliant curling waves.  I began to notice how some waves would break with what looked like white long fingers running out and over the surface until, once again, they melded into the same shade of dark blue.


And throughout this extended wave watching, the sound of the waves ebbing, crashing and rolling back into itself I was always present.  In yoga, Ujjayi breath is often described as a "wave-like" sound on both the inhale and the exhale, yet these waves didn't always have an even pace or intensity of sound. Sometimes it was soft and subtle, others more robust.  The longer I sat, the more I realized how long I had been absorbed in simply being with the ocean, of being fully present to this incredible natural wonder.
Deepak Chopra has said that to connect and ground our energies we can look at open and moving bodies of water; sun and/or star gaze; and walk barefoot on the earth.  It's no wonder that I was completely mesmerized and not wanting to leave these moments.  I felt connected, humble and fully alive, all with the underlying feeling of gratefulness for having such fortune in my life.


In meditation, our thoughts can also reflect the movement of the waves in that they come and they go.  In some moments they're full of power and might pull us under and in other moments they possess a gentle softness.  To recognize the rise and fall of our breath and thoughts is a reflection of the energy of the ocean. If we can simply surrender to it all, perhaps we will awaken that deepest inner connection to self and come to the realization that we are of the same energy...it's all divine.

Darkness to Light

Here in the northern hemisphere, the days are getting short and the nights long. The natural environment seems to be drawing into itself and shedding excess leaves and growth until a more opportune time to grow and bloom. We about to pass the Winter Solstice.

I love the idea of the Winter Solstice as it relates to light. The actual day in 2014 is Sunday December 21 representing the shortest day of the year as it relates to the number of daylight hours that we see. From December 22 the daylight hours begin to lengthen. 

We step from darkness into light.

Isn't that what our own personal growth is about? Gaining clarity about our own life path and purpose? Moving from ignorance towards greater wisdom? Turning inward to see our own inner light's radiance? We acknowledging the darkest moments of our soul as we step into our own light and expanding consciousness. Another way to look at it is as we awaken consciousness, we bring what is lying in our own shadows into full view.  We take a look at that which we've pushed away or tamped down and bring it into the light.  When we do so, the power it has over us begins to diminish and we start the process of making peace with our shadow selves.

One of the fundamental teachings in yoga is that we are all born divine. This divinity possesses a radiance that is often referred to as residing in the heart center. Just look at a healthy newborn and you can't help but see that they are divinely perfect beings. And the thing is, that never changes...it never leaves us. What happens is that we simply forget. We travel through our lives and begin to disconnect from this notion of being whole and beautifully complete.  Ways that we learn to cope on a day to day basis, often in the form of defense mechanisms, often leave a layer that takes us further away from knowing our deepest selves.  

What our yoga practice does, is help us to remember. It helps us to still the distracting chatter of our mind, to peel away the layers and to celebrate the magnificence of our physical body so that we can connect once again to the light that dwells within.

Let's take a moment on as the Winter Solstice passes to connect to our inner radiance and all the potential that is sitting within us.

The word Namaste' describes this precisely. 

"The light in me, sees and honors the light in you. When we are both in this place, we are one."

Peaceful Solstice.

Are You Health Un-Conscious?

The simple matter that you're reading this blog likely reveals the answer to my question of, "are you health un-conscious"? In fact, you are likely to be a person who is seeking to deepen their consciousness around their health and may use regular reading about enhancing wellness as part of that process.

Last weekend we went to a restaurant that neither my husband nor I had been to more than once. As I scanned the menu looking for things to suit my choice around how I was about to nourish myself, I realized that the number of options suddenly became quite narrow. I was seeking a light, fresh green salad with some interesting bits thrown in, hopefully something in season like persimmon or toasted pecans and anything else that didn't have gluten in it. Oh, and it had to be vegetarian preferably leaning towards the vegan side.


Once our server came to the table, I began my usual barrage of questions about how things are prepared and what's in it. I've come to learn over the years that what's written and what arrives are often poles apart from what was in my imagination...so, I ask for clarification. I settled on one of their salad choices without the meat and without the croutons and enjoyed the meal.


As the server was clearing our luncheon plates, she said "you seem health conscious...are you even interested in the desert menu?" What was striking to me was the thought that flashed into my brain- "isn't everyone health conscious?" Does asking for a salad without croutons begin to slide you into the "health (nut) conscious category? 

Perhaps I'm not the typical patron of such restaurants, but I'm certainly not an exception to the constant bombardment of media images telling us how to improve our lives through "losing the belly fat" or "10 lbs in 3 days" or "finding the perfect little black dress" type headlines. They are gracing the cover of just about every magazine. If you add in the recent news headline that kids won't live as long as their parents most likely because of the growing obesity and diabetes numbers, you begin to wonder how can we all not be at least a tiny bit health conscious...at least health-curious.

And if not, why not?

Are we in such a state of denial that we are choosing to ignore these seemingly obvious health challenges? Are we so disconnected from our deeper selves to no longer have the awareness that our body, mind and spirit are inextricably intertwined? Are we unable to pay attention because we're distracted by the deeper issues simply because we're trying to get through each day with food, any food, on the table? Faced with economic struggles does it seem a waste of time to "indulge" ourselves into a deeper place of recognizing what nourishes us?

To all of these questions, I have no real answers. All I sense is that we are facing an underlying issue of being pulled so far out of our awareness from our inner needs by extraneous decoys, that asking for a crouton-free salad labels me as being health conscious.


Perhaps this is why the gravitational pull towards yoga has increased its popularity and growth in the U.S. Perhaps people feel the need for digging a bit deeper and recognize that yoga and it's 5000 year old tools are a solid foundation for beginning this exploration.

Get curious about what living a health conscious life feels like...go ahead...let me know how it goes. And maybe, we can go out and grab a crouton-free salad to celebrate!

The Gift of Giving

This week my thought is around the upcoming holiday season and how we approach our gift giving. This thought has been stimulated from a couple of different local sources:  the weekly farmers market and a few retailers who are in the neighborhood and independently owned (one who makes all natural body care products and the other a health food store).  I also have been inspired by friends in my own circle who have great enthusiasm for encouraging a local perspective when we are in the consumer mindset.


As a kid, I remember sitting down with the Sears catalog ,
folding over the pages of each and every toy that I wanted; stuff I hadn't even laid eyes upon until they were displayed within this 400-page tome of goodies  and temptations. I would mark off page after page and exclaim with excitement to my Mom, "I want this! Oh...and look at this! I want this as well and this and this...". Of course, Christmas day would arrive and none of my ear-marked goodies were under the tree. I'm not complaining as I had abundant, memorable and exciting holidays with my family and was plenty satisfied at not only the gifts received, but being at home sitting 
among the low tide of wrapping paper scattered over the living room floor.


As I've journeyed along in my life, I have tried to find my own way of celebrating the holidays. It still includes some gift giving, but now my intention is aimed more at subtle ways of expressing how I feel about family and friends. Plus, being in a marriage where we also celebrate Hanukkah adds a different element of what it means to give and receive.

I would like to think that I give what I can of myself always...throughout the year, not just at the holidays. So, when the idea of staying local with our gift giving came across my desk, I was intrigued. What is available in my local area that will give a gift to someone but also give to a local business as well?

Here are some ideas and I would love for you to share what you've heard about or have come up with:

1. Instead of going to a corporate big box store (Target, Macy's, Saks etc), buy from a locally owned shop. We have many of these in our area ranging from local artists, florists, foodies, clothing retailers and many more.

2. Buy a local service. Massage, car detailing, pet sitting, gardening, handy person or even a private yoga class for you and your friends.

3. How about a gift certificate from your local hairdresser, manicurist or barber?

4. Buy a series of yoga classes for someone wanting to step onto the mat. 

5. How about a tennis or golf lesson with a local pro, or a round of golf at a local course?

6. We have some delicious local bakeries and coffee shops that would love to offer you their goodies. 

7. Things need to be spruced up? How about hiring a cleaning person for a day or a professional organizer to help you streamline your life?

8. Get a computer tune-up with a local I.T. whiz. 

9. Want some custom woodwork, garden beds or repairs? Hire a local handy person.

10. Need some 1-1 support try a personal trainer or private yoga session.

11. Find a nutritional consultant to support better choices and options.

12. Offer gift certificates from local restaurants that encourage more plant-based, locally grown and organic foods. 

13. More? Think of local musicians and bands playing at nearby venues and local craft/street fairs.

My list could go on but the whole idea is to think locally even if it might seem so much easier to shop online. If you're out and about in your neighborhood, stop in to see what your community has to offer. Not only will it support them and their businesses, but it will enhance the connection you have to your local community. Rather than buying something that is made overseas, see what a difference YOU can make by keeping it local.

We can all make a difference in our gift giving. May the holiday season be one of ease, peace and conscious giving!

If you wish to contribute ideas or names of services and businesses, please comment on the Desert Yoga Therapy Facebook page.

The Energy Quota

The holiday season has officially arrived. Here in the US, we have just celebrated Thanksgiving which then opens the floodgates to the many celebrations held in December. It's a time where we tend to socialize, eat and drink as well as spend more cash than usual. We arrive at New Years Day wondering what hit us and how did it seem to spin out of control? When the credit card bill arrives mid-January did we go beyond our limits? How about your own personal physical limits?

This leads me to my thought of the week-do you know your energy budget?

I was talking with a friend whose sister has chronic fatigue and has dealt with it for the past decade. She recently adopted a child and was as happy as ever. I asked my friend, "how does she keep up with a young child with her chronic fatigue?". She replied, "she knows how to manage the limited energy that she has".

This is true for all of us whether we're a teen or somebody dealing with an illness. We all have an energy quota. The energy quota is a term I've coined that relates to how much energy expenditure we can handle in a day. But it's a bit tricky as it can shift without us realizing it. We go to work/school, we're busy so we don't really stop for lunch but just grab a bite. We have a project with a deadline so we stay later than the standard time. This results in us grabbing something on the way home that's either take out food or an easy to prepare meal at home. We're already tired so we plop down on the couch or head back to the laptop and as we find ourselves dozing off, we head off to bed.

We've gone into debt with our own energy quota. We missed the signs that our body was asking to stop, slow down or take a break. And, oh yeah, could you put something of high nourishment into the tank in the process?

I've been doing the energy quota dance for as long as I can remember. It simply began with believing that I had an endless supply of energy and that the quota was something that other people had, not people like me who were always told "you have so much energy!". Then it hit me. It didn't just sneak up and if it did, I continued to ignore the sneaking up, but it slammed me with a full on body blow. The type of experience where your body no longer whispers to you to slow down, but begins to scream at you...yelling "I said S L O W D O W N!". As a result instead of boundless energy, I had boundless fatigue. Why was I always so tired? Why didn't coffee in the morning fix it?

It's at moments like these that we get to know our energy quota. We realize that we've overspent and now it's time to pay attention to our budget. For me, this included getting enough sleep by going to bed around the same time every night and not burning the proverbial candle at both ends. It also meant drinking way less alcohol and caffeine. It meant becoming a better vegetarian and committing to practices that serve and support my life rather than constantly testing its boundaries.

My yoga practice has been the perfect antidote for overstepping my energy quota. It has helped me establish ritualized practices where I connect to my higher self and listen to my inner voice. I still tend to throw many balls into the air. I feel life is short and an abundance of opportunities await. And I am still constantly re-defining my quota, particularly as I age. 

So...do you know your energy quota? If not, perhaps now is the time to acknowledge that you have one and learn a bit more about it. I figure in the end...we can all find the perfect balance.

Seeing With The Soul

In about 10 days we will be at a retreat on the Hawaiian island of Maui that is being led by Ram Dass, Krishna Das and Jack Kornfield.  I had dreams of going to Maui to sit with Ram Das but never felt able to manifest it for a variety of self-imposed hurdles. In April of this year, inspired by the rave reviews of this experience from a dear friend, Ed and I decided to finally just put the time aside to go.  


Ram Dass is 82 years old and has touched so many lives, written extensively, spoken around the world and dedicated his life to being a bhakti yogi (a yogi of devotion).  To finally sit in the presence of someone who's been completely committed to their path is a humbling honor.  Add to that the deeply resonating voice of the magical kirtan artist, Krishna Das, and the Buddhist insights and teachings of Jack Kornfield, we feel we are in for quite a spiritual ride.


I know that in order to teach on this path of yoga delving deeply into my own practice is paramount. It refuels my tank, reminds me why I'm making the choices that I do and connects me to that quiet introspective self in the most profound way.  As my teacher, Judith Hanson Lasater has said, "We practice for our students and we teach for ourselves" which rings true as to why I'm stepping out of the teaching mode for a few days.


In preparing for this time away I have been brushing up on some reading by Ram Dass and one of the many things that has stuck like gum on a shoe is the perspective he takes about being with people. He talks about seeing people from his soul rather than from his ego.  It sounds so incredibly simple, yet when trying to practice this I have found myself noticing how frequently my ego thinks it is in charge. It's getting easier to recognize when I'm seeing with my ego (which seems to be most of the time) as I'm quick to jump to assumptions and judgments.  I have more of a right/wrong attitude. I'm beginning to more easily notice my prejudices and opinions.


I'm hoping that in the noticing a shift will begin to take root. Rather than staying in the familiar holding pattern of all of my thoughts and behaviors, the potential to soften becomes more tangible. This is a challenging and worthy practice for all of us seeking more connection, peace and compassion.  When you first come into contact with someone see if you can tap into your heart space and try to see them from the perspective of your deepest inner self. Look at them as a mother looks at a newborn and see if you can feel the slightest change of how you see that person.  Step out of the ego driven thought and lead with the heart.  As Judith Lasater says, "to see others with soft eyes".


Simply thinking about this literally warms my heart.  As we are only a few days away from Thanksgiving, it's the perfect time to practice. At the very least my awareness has changed and now it's all about staying committed to the action of doing.  My hope is that by sitting with a master of seeing from the soul, Ram Dass will infuse it more deeply into my being.


And for that I hold only gratitude.

What's In Your Warehouse?

You can bet with the holiday season about to explode the commercial warehouses are stockpiling for whatever Black Friday is about to unleash.  I can't even begin to fathom how huge the warehouses are for Amazon but I'm guessing it's named "Amazon" for a good reason.  And whenever I walk through Costco, it's staggering to see the number of goods available for purchase. Rows upon rows, with shelves so high, small cherry pickers are needed to reach whatever is lurking way up there. These companies store and display their many wares with the intention of moving it along to the consumer and we here in North America have access to all of it...an over-abundance of stuff that we most likely don't even truly need.  


My thought for the week, however, isn't really about retail, but about storing stuff.  We tuck things away on many different levels.  We fill up our garages with a lifetime of collectibles and memorabilia.  We pack out our closets with shoes and clothes.  We hold onto papers thinking we might need them in future and most deceptively, we stuff emotions down into the warehouse of our being.  I'm guilty of all these things as I come from a long lineage of pack rats. Something happened to the depression generation of the 30's that taught them to not waste anything and that most things would have a use (eventually).


So to even address the issue of what's in my warehouse, is coming face-to-face with something I strive to become better at doing-letting go.  What would really serve me is to actually move from my current house into a much smaller location.  Every time I have moved in the past I have undergone major cleansing.  I become ruthless (relative to me, of course) in throwing out clutter that has collected into the corners of my life.  But we love where we live and have been in this one location for 13 years now with the clutter being a persistent reminder of my letting go practice so I guess I'll have to find another way to surrender without changing my address.


Letting go can begin on a real, physical level by sorting through the paraphernalia.  Sort what's to be thrown out, what's to be donated/recycled and what is worth keeping.  We have all heard the drill.  Yet letting go on an emotional level is a whole new level of releasing what is no longer serving us.  It is thought that all of our experiences are held within the cells and memory of our body. Imagine 50 years of experiences being stored within one body...an Amazonian sized, mind-boggling number of experiences.  What happens to the experiences we choose to not face directly?  If we ignore them, won't they just go away?


Well wouldn't that be nice?


One reason why the practice of yoga is so powerful for people is that it's often the first opportunity that they have in a safe environment to begin unpacking Pandora's box.  Something happens as we begin to breathe, stretch and contract our muscles. As we listen to the supportive and directing tones of the teacher we can be led to a place of greater surrender.  Often we don't know what's happening but stuff begins to surface and we begin to confront our emotional baggage.


I first noticed this phenomenon as a personal fitness trainer.  I'd be standing next to someone on an elliptical trainer and as they're heart beat faster, their breathing rate increased and they began to perspire  they would frequently say to me, "You know, I've never told anyone this before, but...".  It didn't just happen once or twice. It happened A LOT!  I began to sense that when someone felt safe and trusted the person next to them, then began to physically move, something would begin to dislodge and baggage would begin to float to the surface.  It was my first full glimpse into the connection between our body, our emotions and our mental states.


Fast forward a few years to the world of yoga and now we have environments with mood lighting, beautiful scents wafting through the air, a teacher with a melodic voice, cushy mats and other props around us.  We feel held, safe and often vulnerable.  Add into this connecting to a deep breath, narrowing focus and getting rid of distraction we now have the perfect environment for stuff to float to the surface.   And this is perfectly okay.


When things are held in our own bodies for years, they form what I've come to call energetic clots.  The life force (prana) becomes stagnant and is reflected through our physical selves in numerous ways via illness, mental agitation, depression, injury, fatigue or a seemingly empty feeling.  Energy is meant to move through us to remove the things that don't serve us and to enforce practices that do.


This unpacking is a natural evolution of our yoga practice.  It comes off in layers, somewhat like an onion which can also bring us to tears.  But in this reveal we begin to remember our connection to our deepest sense of self and tap into the question of, "why am I here?".  I have grown to appreciate this process, not only for myself, but in bearing witness to it through students who step onto the mat.  In that unfolding, we hold each other in a sacred way and allow the space for it to happen. 

As the holiday madness draws near, I hope that I release rather than stock up my own warehouse by having gratitude for all that life offers.

Are You Joint Savvy?

I'll admit it...I'm an anatomy geek.  I not only love studying anatomy but also teaching it to others.  What I find so incredible is the amazing structure that we...our body. Although each of us is uniquely different, we are all basically assembled in the same way.

Our fundamental structure is that we have about 700 named muscles in the body which makes up about half of our body weight. A typical adult human has 206 bones many of which come together to form joints.  Joints come in a few different varieties and mainly include synovial (e.g. knee, hip, shoulder), cartilaginous (pubis symphysis) and fibrous (sutures in the skull) joints as well as a few others.  When we talk about joints and joint pain we generally refer to synovial joints.   They are the most movable joints in the body and are largely held together via connective tissue forming joint capsules. 


Our skeleton is able to move because of the over 700 muscles that enable it to do so...they need each other for us to ambulate, dance, do yoga or play a sport.  Yet, they act in very different ways and have different expiration dates.  If we stay active, well-nourished and are able to bear our body weight (or move an imposed weight such as a dumbbell), our muscles can stay strong and functional.  But our joints begin to get creakier over time.  We become more brittle and form tears in the connective tissues through wear and tear over a lifetime.  Joints degenerate and can lead to pain, swelling, arthritis and dysfunction.


So how do we optimize the relationship between our muscles, bones and joints?  Isn't all activity a positive step toward maintaining and/or improving health?


We begin by recognizing that we need to be mindful of the impact we put on our joints.  Our muscles respond to overload, as does the density of our bones, but where our bones meet up to form a joint, we need to be kind and careful.  Joints work in a particular range of motion and can be compromised if our biomechanics don't match up with the imposed movements.  A good example is twisting an ankle hiking downhill...our ankle isn't designed to move in that direction under such a downward force.  


We also create movement patterns throughout a lifetime that often reflect a particular posture such as someone who has a career where they've sat for extended periods of time or have had an injury that created a compensated movement pattern that never went back to normal.  It is said that a limping person with a sprained ankle, can embed that movement pattern within three days!  One thing is certain, we are adaptive creatures and sometimes adapt inefficient patterns of moving that stay with us forever unless we begin to explore them.


So if you're now wondering if what you're doing is hurting or helping, ask yourself these questions when exercising:


1.  Does this feel safe in my body?
2.  Will I be okay tomorrow?
3.  Can I move in a pain-free range of motion?
4.  If I do have pain, can I keep moving without dialing up its intensity?



We want to answer "yes" to these questions as well as noticing if what we feel is simply unfamiliar or whether it is painful?  It's okay to have an unfamiliar sensation, but we want to question it if it's eliciting pain.  Pain manifests in the brain and we can learn over time that a past painful movement still feels painful even without any actual injury being present.  Think of someone who has phantom pain in an amputated limb.  So often to feel more comfortable in our body, we need to un-learn what triggered our previous pain.


In yoga, our self-talk is vital to maintaining safety in our practice. Answering "yes" to the above questions, building strength progressively over time and paying attention to the inner voice raises our level of awareness to keep reaping the benefits of our practice over a lifetime.  Many people I have worked with who have recovered from injury try to do too much too soon.  One of my favorite sayings when returning to activity is to "tip toe back, rather than sprint".  Of course this requires additional practices of yoga-patience and discipline (but more of that in another blog post).


So the next time you step onto your mat remember to challenge your muscles and be kind to your joints.  Then we can all live in harmony in the most optimal way!

This Too Shall Pass

When life gets tough, the tough get going.  Grin and bear it.  Hold on tight, we're in for a rough ride!  When life hands you lemons, make lemonade.  Pull up your big girl pants and get on with it.


This too shall pass.  Ah yes, that's the one that is resonating strongly with me this week.  I am constantly reminded that what I need to learn shows up on my path and this past week presented a few opportunities to remember the transient nature of all things. 


So many moments exist in just one day where things are shifting and changing.  If we were to measure physical parameters like heart rate, brain waves, hormonal fluctuations and blood pressure we'd see consistent variability.  One moment I feel like I'm so incredibly hungry, then starving the next that I grab a bite and the next moment I'm full.  We don't like what we hear on the car radio and in an instant we can change it with a push of a button.  Step outside at 6 am and it's cold, two hours later, you're peeling off your layers because it's now too hot. Last week I could easily bind in a pose, this week it seems just out of reach. Our bodies change...constantly.


If we talk about mental fluctuations, simply try to sit for more than a minute without chasing a thought.  Can you be completely without thought?  They flit across our screen of consciousness like gnats over grass.  Thoughts change...constantly.


So if we know that things are always changing, why do we get so hung up when challenging things happen?  One characteristic of being human is attaching ourselves to thoughts, people and objects.  If we hold onto whatever it is, it can feel as though we're safe and feeling safe is fundamental to our survival.  Being attached is inbred on the most primal level.  As babies, we need to attach to our mothers so we can thrive and this in-born quality begins to expand over time.  We attach ourselves to our jobs, our stuff and our relationships.  We attach ourselves to what we believe is our identity but is it really who we are?


From the yogic perspective, this clinging or attachment is called raga and its partner, aversion, is called dvesha.  These emotional responses can blind us from seeing our own path to freedom.  It's a constant push-pull to holding onto what we want and think is right to avoiding what we don't want.  It can also be reflective of holding expectation and having past experiences that creates these perceptions. What we do know is that when life is constantly shifting it can lead us to feeling that the only thing to do is to hold on tight or to run away.


Part of our practice is to recognize when this is happening and to become radically present which enables us to see what is actually happening in that moment rather than what we think should be happening.  We have expectations that love will last forever, that our jobs are secure and that we will have continued good health, so when these expectations turn out to be false do we crumble or do we see the wisdom that lies within it?


To sit with whatever feeling and sensation arises is a difficult practice but a necessary one if we are to become comfortable with the notion of suffering.  When we sit with what is present, we begin to realize that what lies within which is that unique expression of our warm and radiant being.  What lies within is the same universal energy and light that inhabits all living beings.  What lies within remains unchanged.  


So when the waves of our lives begin to get big and scary, remember that lying beneath the surface is the true expression of who we are.  If we're avoiding our suffering we are sitting upon the surface. If we turn to face our suffering and dive deeply within, we are able remember and connect to the inner calm.  Let go, surrender and release that to which we cling and find true freedom.


Whatever is rocking your world will change.  This too, shall pass.

Think Small

Back in the 90's I taught literally over a 1,000 aerobics classes.  You name it, I taught it: HiLo, Scuplt, Step, Cardio-Funk, low-impact and Tri-cross training.  For four years I ran the group exercise program at the University of Melbourne which meant 55 classes each week, happening in three different locations with 30 plus instructors. We held classes mainly in the basketball gymnasiums which mean we could fit over 100 people in a class.

 

The music would blast out of the speakers, wore a head microphone and over the four years, I averaged 45 people per class and taught 848 classes.  When I ran the numbers at the end of my tenure, I was blown away by the stats...I had so many people jumping, pumping and grapevining to mixed music tapes featuring Madonna, Kylie Minogue and a Flock of Seagulls.  Of course, I wore the latest attire of a thong leotard over shorts, Reeboks and the occasional wristband.  I had a blast as did the 35,000 plus people that attended.

 

When I taught I would look out into the crowd and only truly notice if someone wasn't keeping up or getting it when they were out of sync with the rest of the group.  At times you'd see people flailing in the back with a "huh?" expression and hope that the group energy would help them get through it.  Often we all did look like a flock of seagulls as we worked various floor patterns across the gym.  It was fun and it improved my teaching skills immensely.

 

When I returned to the United States in 1997, I once again took up teaching group classes, this time, not with such huge numbers but often into the 30's and as I slowly began transitioning from group exercise to yoga, the classes became smaller.

 

What I have learned throughout all of this is that although a large group of people moving, breathing and exercising together can be quite exhilarating and definitely motivating, it wasn't until I was in a semi-private situation that I felt I was truly able to fully teach who was in front of me.  Before that, it was a bit of teaching and a lot of group leading and organization.

 

In creating a program that is largely based on private and semi-private sessions, I began to dive into the nuances and subtleties of a persons practice.  I have the opportunity to truly get to know who my students are as well as their strengths and challenges, if they have injuries, if they've been through a traumatic experience or a life-changing event.  Instead of leading them through a series of poses, I am able to teach them and as a result, their practices have begun to thrive.

 

I'm not knocking large group classes as I loved teaching them for years, but what I've learned is just how valuable small classes can be.  In a time when yoga is growing in popularity and when people will drop into a class to check out what all the fuss is about, we as an industry offering this practice should want to ensure that everyone's experience leaves them hungry for more.  One example is ensuring people are in the right class to begin with rather than the scenario where a beginner hides in the back of a non-beginners class hoping to eventually catch on.  My personal intention is that every student is safe, that every student gets what they need from a class and that every student feels completely held and seen by the instructor.  Additionally, the smaller scenario allows the instructor the opportunity to connect individually and to pass along their knowledge and do more than simply leading a sequence.

 

Feedback from students in small classes is often around how personalized the classes are and that they're willing to pay a slightly higher than average class fee in order to feel looked after.  The small class experience may not suit everyone and I hope one day that there truly is something for everyone. My experience has been that such settings hold great richness from this intimate experience. Small group classes foster incredible communities of support, love and that in itself is indescribably rich. 

 

Bigger isn't always better, so if you have a small class option in your hometown, maybe try it out and see what all the fuss is about! I promise, you won't be able to hide in the back.

Be Love

There are times I just need a reminder about how to be in life.  I have this way of over-thinking, over-processing or complicating things that, when stripped back, come down to some simple truths. I had one of those moments this past week after watching a webcast with Ram Dass and Jack Kornfield, two leading teachers in spirituality and authors of many books.  Jack was talking about having been on a month long retreat and what followed was a feeling of radiating love...everyone he came across he felt the simplicity of love oozing from his pores.


Just imagine that all of you who are reading this felt like Jack-walking through your day as a radiant being of love.  Each time you made eye contact with someone, spoke with someone or just walked past a stranger, you had so much love it couldn't be contained within your own self and you were spilling it all over the place.  I'd love to hear the sentence, "Excuse me ma'am, but you just dropped this big bucket of love all over everything...".


We have such conflict and violence in our world, that asking people to "be love" verges on the edge of being an out of touch hippie.  Yet, no better time exists than now to embrace this simple idea.  But how do you tap into love that isn't the romantic version of the word?  How do you spill it out all over the place and not run dry? Are you at peace enough in your own life to offer love to others? Ooooh...now we're getting at something.  It has been said that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.  This of course begs the question, "How much do I love myself?"  


When I was in junior high school, one of the biggest insults you could throw at someone was to say, "you just love yourself" which implied that you were stuck up, conceited and full of yourself.  If I were to hear this I would shrink like a flower in the hot desert sun, pulling all of my radiance into myself out of the public eye.  And there it stayed for a very long time, which created the feeling that I wasn't love and that if I put it out there, I'd be cut down so don't shine, stay dull. Fortunately, I found the practice of yoga which has helped to erase the old belief that there was something wrong in loving myself.  In fact, it is at the very heart of the practice.


When we bring our body, mind and soul into a good relationship we find a harmonious balance, one which offers a steadiness and ease. When we practice from a place of Ahimsa (non-violence), we are fully in our yoga and this is built on the foundation of love.


It's an ongoing practice as we slip into old habits and beliefs of not being kind to ourselves.  To enhance your connection to love, find a quiet space each day and begin a practice of gratitude.  Begin with being grateful for your body...all of it...including the cranky joints, sagging skin and imperfections that make you uniquely you.  Next, send love to the incredible capacity for yourself to be creative, thoughtful, resilient and willing.  And don't buy into believing all of your thoughts, but let them arise and honor them for mapping what is currently in your consciousness and therefore open to change. And finish your contemplation of love by thanking all that connects you to your higher self, the mysterious realms and unexplained magical moments in your life.  Once you've worked on loving yourself...send it out...to people you pass on the street, to those you know and those you don't, to people you need to forgive and to those who need a boost.


Rest in love.


Be love.


Radiate love.


It's the one thing that connects all of us...simply love.

Open The Door

For the past several years my morning has begun with my practice of meditation.  I wake up, go to the bathroom, do a neti pot and head into my meditation space.  On some days though, I get out of bed feeling as though sleep would be the better option.  On other days, my body feels creaky and sore from the previous days activities and I shuffle myself into my space.  In other words, I don't always leap out of bed and skip down the hall to meditate. Some days that whispering inner voice is tempting me to stay in bed a bit longer and that all would be okay in the world if I didn't meditate.  Yet, I silence that voice each and every time it arises.


The reason this ritual is vital to my morning is that it always re-calibrates my being.  One of my teachers once said, "As you establish your meditation practice missing it one morning, it would be like leaving the house without having brushed your teeth."  Ewwww...I really try to avoid the not brushing my teeth scenario.  This statement was enough for me to commit to establishing the practice and was further enhanced as I began to feel the sacredness of keeping to it.  As with many things, creating a habit or new ritual takes discipline, commitment and time...some say 21-days is the turning point.  You need to "commit to sit" to create that routine and over time, it gets easier and easier as it becomes not only a part of your day but a reflection of who you are.


In all of the years that I've been teaching movement, I can only recall a few times where I didn't feel better after the class.  And those times were when I was sick and shouldn't have been there in the first place.  I always feel better.  It's the same with a meditation or yoga practice.  You always feel better for having done it.


When we come to our meditation cushion or step foot onto our yoga mat we enter our own sanctuary.  It's the place where we still our minds, connect to the fluctuations of our breath and sense our bodies.  In doing so, we hit the re-set button that brings us back to our centered and sacred selves.  Our over-scheduled, stressful and busy lives are constantly pulling us away from that center. Some of us have been pulled away for so many years that we've actually forgotten that peace resides within us.  We reach for things outside of ourselves to satisfy this disconnection to self and often what we reach for are things that don't support our optimum health or our highest selves-think caffeine, alcohol, drugs, shopping, gossip or vast amounts of time spent in front of a TV or computer screen.


In that moment where we consciously step into our practice, it's as though we have chosen to open the door to our inner selves.  We make the choice to look at what's rippling beneath the surface and hopefully we do so from a place of non-judgment, acceptance, compassion and love.  Coming to our own sanctuary we come face to face with ourselves and at times that can be scary and challenging, when we'd rather bolt than stay.  Yet in staying, we not only open the door but we step through and stepping through moves us along our own path of evolution.


So in those moments where getting to your mat or cushion doesn't seem like such a good idea...do it anyway.  Open the door to your life and step through.

Our Creative Side

This past week I was inspired to teach from the perspectives of creativity and playfulness, two elements which seem to co-exist beautifully.  Both are inherent in who we are yet so many of us lose our connection to them.  Some of us believe that creative people are simply born that way, that they have been given this gift of a source which inspires them on a regular basis.  And how playful are we as adults?  This thought of the week was inspired when a yoga student started laughing in class and asked the question, "Is it okay to laugh in yoga?", to which I giddily replied, "YES!  Please laugh in yoga!"  So many of us take yoga so seriously that we lose the connection to the simple joy that is had when we connect to our selves physically, emotionally and through our breath.  As kids we gave stuff a try and perhaps because we hadn't quite yet created the filter of what might hurt and what didn't, but we goofed around regardless and laughed along the way.


Let's look at them individually.  What are you trying to create in your life at the moment?  More income, steadier work, peace, better relationships?  Are you launching a new part of your career or stepping into a role of giving that is new to you?  How do you tap into a way of thinking that colors outside the lines?  What tools are you using to bring that creative force out in a strong way in your life?


Many people use the qualities of the throat energy center, number five of the seven chakras to access creativity.  This part of us is expressed either through speaking, singing or writing.  Do you have a history of shutting this energy center down as perhaps you were told "to be quiet" or felt that what you had to share wouldn't be worthy? Often when we want to launch a new idea from the back-burner of our consciousness and into the greater realm, chanting mantra or simply telling someone about it puts it out there in a way that is reflective of our vision.  And if you're anything like me, putting it out there has an element of vulnerability attached to it.  What if I fail?  What if people think poorly of me?  What if....what if?


I have focused much of my practice in opening up my creative voice and have used daily chanting  as well as weekly writing as a way to strengthen my resolve as this energy center was censored for much of my life.  Once I began to literally find my voice, my ability to express myself became incredibly strong...but it took practice.  What are you wanting to put out there?  Can you articulate it clearly?  Do you know your message and can you speak if from your heart?  Are you willing to risk feeling uncomfortable in the process?  Are you willing to not risk it and stay precisely where you're at?


Other ways that we tap into our creativity is through play.  Spend a morning playing pirates with a five-year old, build a make believe fort, invent a story and act it out and your creative juices will begin to flow.  When we engage the energy of our inner child and simply allow the expression of ourselves through our bodies, hands, words and actions, the need to "do it right" begins to fade away. When we source that energy which is curious and non-judgmental, it's as though we access a dormant aspect of our true and fundamental selves...the never-ending desire to express joy and have fun.


I'm curious to hear the ways in which you play and how it feels in your body when you give yourself time to do so.  I might just get out my sketch pad and start doodling...you just never know what might emerge!  And as my mother used to say, "now, go outside and play!"

Three Rhythms

I recently heard a teacher talk about three rhythms of our body and became curious in exploring this idea and using it as a way to engage more deeply in our experience of yoga.  

 

The first rhythm is that of the beating heart.  If you take a moment to pause, get quiet with your breath and close your eyes, can you feel the rhythm of your own heartbeat?  I notice it as a pulsation that has a subtle rocking action.  When I get quiet enough to sense it, I notice its beautiful regularity, strength and connection to being alive.  If we think about our hearts simply as physical organs, they are simply amazing.  They have their own circuitry and electrical system which works without us even thinking about it.  Our hearts beat at rest somewhere between 60-80 beats in just one minute. Multiply that out by our lifetime and this incredible pump literally keeps on tickin' without any input directly from us.  It just keeps ticking and thumping and beating.

 

Beyond its physically miraculous structure lie the less tangible energetics of our heart: love, compassion, forgiveness and grief. Our arms are an extension of our heart which is expressed when we hug, give a high-five, shake hands, pat someone on the back, prepare food, clap or gently stroke somebody's face.  Our arms and hands reflect what the language of our hearts is speaking.

 

Yet our heart isn't something we can control.  There are stories of enlightened beings stopping their heartbeat simply by thinking about it, but beyond that they beat to their own drum.

 

The second energy is that of our brain and brain wave patterns. In I.2 of the Yoga Sutras of Patanjali,  "Yogas Citta Vritti Nirodah", has been translated as "Yoga is controlling the activities of the mind (chitta)" which recognizes that one of the primary objectives of undertaking yoga is to quiet the endless thoughts that bombard our minds.   Our brain activity and resultant brainwaves fluctuate constantly.  The brain waves of a person deep in meditation are distinctly different from those overly dramatic thoughts of an insomniac who is awake at 2:00 AM.  The practice of meditation is about becoming an observer rather than a participant in these fluctuations.  And if you ask even the most experienced and seasoned meditators, they STILL have days in which their thoughts jump around like the proverbial "drunken monkey" that's just been stung by a scorpion.  Bottom line: our thoughts are difficult to control.

 

The third energy is that of the breath. The beauty of this energy is that it is the one that we can greatly control and by doing so has an affect on the other two energies.  As I've written in previous blogs, we do have the capacity to go through our entire lives and be completely unconscious of our breath.  Sometimes it's beginning a practice such as yoga that we are exposed to the idea that we can actually alter our breathing and hence alter how we feel and react.

 

Yoga is filled with breathing practices that respond to and create a variety of responses in the body.  We can calm ourselves physically, energize low vitality, cool ourselves down or heat ourselves up. As we deepen our connection and practice to altering the breath, we can slow down our heart beat, lower our blood pressure and alter our brain waves.  

 

The power that is within to access how we breathe is immense. When these three energies intertwine and mingle, we can alter how we feel.  With what seems to be a constant barrage of bad news and connection to everything BUT ourselves and each other, getting to know our breath and its patterns can literally change how we view the world and how we feel within it.

 

Enjoy tapping into that source of breath that lies within...your heart, mind and soul will thank you for it! 

Trying Not To Fall

Initially it felt like an adventure.  I had qualified to compete in the regional gymnastics championships being held in Hawaii.  I have always possessed a wicked case of wanderlust, so qualifying to travel to Hawaii in order to compete was an added bonus.  I trained 30 hours a week as a gymnast...five hours a day, six days a week. School, gym, homework...repeat. We arrived on Oahu to the warm ocean breezes and somewhat hot and humid weather.  It was 1977 and the one-piece jumpsuit warm-up was all the rage, as well as my Dorothy Hamill-esque haircut.  


I remember the experience beginning with great excitement at being on the islands.  Then it was onto the familiar routine of hotel, gym, sleep...repeat.  Being in an unfamiliar environment combined with a change in weather conditions I was unaccustomed to and the anticipated rigorous competition ahead of me made me feel quite nervous.  I competed well, but not quite well enough...  1/10 of a point not well enough.  I missed qualifying for the sectionals (half of the USA) by what would translate as a slightly bent knee or a toe that wasn't pointed quite straight enough.  I was crushed.  I cried and then cried some more.  My coach tried to petition me through but they held firmly to the rules, unwilling to bend even that 1/10 of a point.  I had this deep gut feeling of unworthiness.


My gymnastics training had worked on the philosophy of trying not to fall.  Many opportunities exist to fall in gymnastics where you can virtually fall on any event or apparatus.  I know...I've fallen on or off all of them.  Sometimes just a little wobbly off-center fall and others a skeleton rattling experience.  Trying not to fall is a big deal. During a particularly challenging portion of training, I was instructed to complete 10 consecutive beam routines without a fall.  If I fell, I had to go back to routine #1.  It took me a couple of hours to reach that goal, but I got good at not falling.  Until we headed to Hawaii and my mental state wasn't as well trained as my physical state.


Why do I share this gymnastics tale of woe as my thought of the week?  I do it because it's a beautiful metaphor for life.  When we're kids, we frequently topple.  We fall, we get back up. I had a long history of stubbed toes, scraped elbows and banged up knees.  It didn't define me, it was simply something I did.  We fall because we explore and we are curious.  We test our limits and we learn them along the way.  We haven't quite heard the warning, "be careful or you might fall" fully in our consciousness.  And we fall in non-physical ways...emotionally, through challenging experiences, failures, rejections and not hanging out with the "cool" kids.


As we physically grow and begin to know boundaries we often become less daring, more linear in movement or perhaps injured in a way that instills a different sense of fear than previously existed.  In working with countless adults through group exercise, personal training or in yoga, they are often completely shocked at their inability to even balance on one leg...shocked!  I then ask the question, "when was the last time you practiced balancing?" which is often replied with a bewildering lack of recall as to when that was.  It's been so long since we tested the waters of balance and instability that we develop a fear of falling.


When working with many senior and super senior clients, I have a saying, "we learn a lot when we fall...or nearly fall".  We learn to pay attention, to catch ourselves on uneven surfaces, to notice that moment of tipping before we tip too far.  And this fear is valid as great injuries leading to great illness can be a result of a fall. And yet, when we allow ourselves to go to that place where the risk rises, our senses sharpen and our heart rate rises.  We tap back into a primal sense of survival, of finding our own two feet.


One of the great gifts of gymnastics was to teach me how to land and how to fall more safely.  It got embedded into my motor memory sometime in all of those hours in the gym.  And as I age and continue turning myself upside down in my yoga practice, I test my balance frequently to stay sharp.  And finally to give myself permission that it's okay to fall...whether that fall be a physical tumble or an emotional stumble.  I have also let go of the fall determining whether or not I'm good enough...I am enough, fall or no fall.


I know that although I may be a bit banged up, that it will all be okay.  If you fall, get up and try again...there's no 1/10th of a point deduction for that!

Zap

There we were...attending the annual Bhakti Fest, a yoga/music gathering located in the high desert near Joshua Tree, California. Our days were spent in morning meditation or chanting the Hanuman Chalisa (a 40-verse ancient prayer tapping into service, devotion and inner strength), attending yoga classes, eating vegan food and listening to live Kirtan (call and response) music.  People floated about enjoying good vibrations, feeling a deeper sense of connection to themselves and all other beings.  Love was in the air.  It was a time of letting go of the everyday and experiencing something different.  For many people, it pushes them completely out of their comfort zone and exposes them to a world of Bhakti 
(devotion), unlike many other traditional forms of contemplation.  It can't help but alter your state of being.

And then you hop in your car, sliding that new favorite CD into your player and continue the loving feeling all the way home. Until, that is, you walk through the door and realize you're back into the everyday...into the ordinary life that is yours.  The question is, "How long do these good vibes last?".


It's not just returning from Bhakti Fest when this happens.  It can happen following an amazing concert, coming home from vacation, a yoga retreat or after a major life event such as a graduation or wedding.  You're flying high on the richness of life as though reality and time are somewhat suspended, particularly if the experience was rich and heart opening.  How long can the residue of the experience last?


I've had this experience on many occasions and have found that the deeper I go into the "away" experience, the longer it sticks with me when I return home.  And if I can embody the feeling of what it's like to be in this buzzing state, I can access it during moments of my ordinary day to day, especially during smaller moments that reflect it, such as meditation, cycling, practicing yoga or listening to music.


The key is to step into your own sanctuary on a daily basis. Heading off to a festival or vacation or retreat is like taking a mega-dose of peace and serenity, to fill up on the good stuff.  For me, the good stuff is remembering my connection to what I do and why I do it.  It's remembering to look through the lens of optimism, love and gratitude.  The longer I stay away from mega-dosing, the dustier the lens becomes, yet it's through connecting to a daily ritual that stops it from going away altogether.


The ancient yogis and sages knew this.  They had these enlightened states and sought to stay that way always...not just on the weekends.  So they would dive fully and completely into their practice.  Nowadays that means being in the frame of mind that you have on the mat to taking it off the mat and into all moments. It begins by taking a daily dose of goodness first thing in the morning.  That alone will set the tone for good vibrations throughout the day.


Give it a try.  Get up in the morning and find some peace and quiet for a few minutes.  Reflect into what you're grateful for and what you have to look forward to that day.  At the end of the day, as you're unwinding toward sleep, reflect again on how much abundance was in your day and how you affected others.  It can't help but you give mini-bhakti high...go on...give it a try!

First World Problem

The sun is just beginning to peak over the horizon and the local mountains reflect its rays in glowing shades of pink.  A stillness is slowly awakening to the dawn of a new day.  I sit crossed legged on my meditation cushion and begin to settle into my daily morning practice.  I find my breath and begin to surrender to the moment.

Barup, pup, pup, pup...barup, pup, pup, pup...barup, pup, pup, vroooommmm begins the sound of a leaf blower.  In an instant I begin to tense my jaw and within another I begin to snicker inside as I think, "the gardeners are here during my meditation time! Oh, the gall".   The realization in the next moment is that I am sitting inside a beautiful house on a cushy cushion with cool air-conditioning in the middle of a hot summer and I have a garden that is maintained by gardeners!  How blessed!  The initial agitation is a reflection of a first world problem.

As I began to think about how much ease we have in an abundant society, I began to notice first world problem situations everywhere.    


While standing in line waiting to pay for our parking following a Jason Mraz concert a woman was complaining to her friend about how her son was on a wait list for AYSO (American Youth Soccer Orangization) team.  She was indignant that she hadn't received an email in time to register and proceeded to read the entire email to her friend (who wasn't the only person within earshot) over the next 10 minutes. She was loud and adamant that this situation was not okay. She'd volunteered multiple times in the past.  She put in her time and her kid was likely to be sitting on the sidelines as a spectator.


What exactly is a first world problem and why does it matter?  I think of a first world problem as one that is experienced in wealthy, industrialized societies.  The problem seems so drastic that it not only serves as an inconvenience but is a true disruption to our quality of life.  First world problems are complaints and frustrations that don't exist or are unlikely to occur in the third world due to the simple truth of not having access to education, financial abundance or opportunity.  Some of our first world problems wouldn't even make sense in a third world.  


Last weekend my nephew was coming to meet us at my Mother's house for a visit.  Along the way his car broke down along US101, a busy freeway that runs through Los Angeles.  We got a call asking if we could help and within an hour we had called roadside assistance, driven 20 minutes to meet my nephew, got his car loaded onto a tow truck and off he went with a plan to fix his tweaked alternator.  As he was waiting for us he had found a place with the right spare part for his Volvo which was still open and was able to find a solution.  We made it back to Mom's place in time to take her out for dinner (although we missed the company of our car-repairing nephew).  Total first world problem.


We have ease and access.  We have ways of solving problems that in developing worlds could alter the course of someones life.  Yet, so often we fail to remember what we have.  When someone has to wait on an internet shopping item because it's backordered...first world problem.



My thought for the week is to whine less and appreciate more.  To remember the many faces of people who truly have a tough time of it on a daily basis.  Their entire lives are not easy.  To remember that when I think things are going badly or are difficult, to realize that I have choice and an ability to express myself freely.


I must remember my good fortune and realize I have first world blessings instead.