Where's Your Spotlight?

In this very moment, my mind is focused on what I'm doing.  I'm at my desk and in the process of writing my weekly blog. Occasionally, my mind drifts away to sounds from the TV in an adjacent room but for the most part, I am here.

At other times throughout my day, I have this roving spotlight of attention.  Sometimes it's completely centered on what I'm doing, particularly when I'm in the flow of teaching a class.  At other times, I'm thinking about an unpleasant episode that happened at work or worrying about how my Mother is getting along, or wondering if we will ever find peace in the world.

Our minds wander and, like a ping pong ball, our attention tends to bounce around.  This is normal...our minds think, just as our hearts beat.  My thought for the week is around how you feel when you hold your attention on a particular thought, when you shine your spotlight onto it, how does it feel in your gut?

I know that before I began deepening my personal practice through daily meditation, my spotlight could become fixated on thoughts that were often contrary to being in a good place.  I'd focus on what might happen, what this or that person might think, say or do and it was destructive.  If the spotlight stayed for extended periods of time, my mood would swing toward despair or depression.  It's not as though this doesn't still happen.  It does. 

But what has shifted is my recognition that it's happening and that in that moment, I find my breath and ask myself, "what might help you shift your perspective in this moment?  What is the lesson that is before me?  Am I stepping into an old pattern?"  

When we realize where we focus our attention and energy, we begin to uncover the connection to how it feels-not just emotionally, but physically.  When I notice my attention is on the negative, grumpy, complaining or comparing aspect of life, my jaw clenches, my shoulders tighten and I furrow my brow.  I'm in a state that feels lousy, not led by love and compassion.  When I direct my energy into those many things that connect me to my higher self, I physically feel lighter and less burdened.

One way to notice where your spotlight is pointing is to catch yourself complaining.  Can you go for 30 minutes, one hour, or a whole day without complaining?  If this is difficult, it might be a clue as to your M.O. and offer an "a-ha" moment to either turn that spotlight off or onto something that actually feels good in your belly.

Both extremes of the continuum exist at the same time.  When there are negative feelings, positive feelings are also present.  Yet, we bury them so deeply beneath the negativity, it can take practice to dig them out.  And hence, why this is all called a yoga practice. We need to keep at it on a regular basis and surround ourselves with people who offer good vibes, positive comments and an optimistic life perspective.

We are all worthy of shining our light brightly...just try to shine it on the stuff that feeds rather than starves your soul.

Holding Onto Good Vibes

Last weekend I attended Shakti Fest, a three-day yoga and music festival held in the high desert of Joshua Tree.  I have now been to several Shakti and Bhakti Fests over the past five years with Shakti Fest being smaller than Bhakti Fest (held for four days in early fall). Shakti Fest is a sweet celebration of breath, movement, music, great vegetarian food (masala dosa!) and community.

I go to these events in large part to refuel my own energy tank. A large part of my work is sending energy out to others and holding the space for people to be in whatever experience arises. Following a busy season here in the low desert, my fuel gauge is reading empty.  A day at such a festival always begins with my usual morning meditation and then it's off to either a group chanting of the 40-verse Hanuman Chalisa, a yoga class (often outside under a shade canopy) or sitting at the main stage listening to kirtan (devotional chanting).  The day continues to unfold in hanging out with friends, old and new, chanting, dancing, eating, resting and listening.  It usually culminates late into the evening with a headlining kirtan artist leaving us in an energized, if not ecstatic, state of bliss.

Following the Saturday night kirtan in which Jai Uttal lifted the roof I was in a delicious conversation with two recent graduates of my yoga teacher training.  One asked, "How do we hang onto feeling this incredible?"

Great question!  We head off to an event, retreat or vacation and the moment we touch down in our familiar home environment the sweetness seems to evaporate all too soon.  How can we hold onto such sweetness?

Over the years I've come to realize that the sweetness is magnified when we fill up our own bucket on a regular basis.  Meditation teacher, Sharon Salzberg, once told a story of each of us having our own spiritual bucket.  If we gaze down into it, we often see that it's empty and echoes easily.  Yet, over time, every act we undertake that serves and supports how we want to be in the world, is like adding another drop into our own bucket.  The more frequently we act, speak and think in a way that moves us along our spiritual path, the more we build up the contents of our spiritual bucket.

If we step onto our yoga mat only once a week and take nothing off the mat and into our everyday lives, the process will take a long time to fill up our bucket.  Yet, if we begin to live from this perspective, every act is another drop.  

When I attend these events, it's as though I open up a deluge of drops into my depleted bucket.  I intensify my own practice so that when I refuel, I am able to come "off the mountain" and back into the day to day feeling energized, connected and able to lovingly hold the space for all that I do.  This is a vital part of maintaining the longevity of how I wish to be in the world, which is feeling so much love and connection that there truly is room for nothing else.

What are you doing to fill up your bucket?

La Bella Luna

As I write this, I am inspired by the full moon.  I've just come into the house having stood barefoot on damp grass with arms outstretched to the luminous sphere.  I've been thinking about this full moon since yesterday.  I was driving home from dinner with a friend and it was a perfect desert evening with an indigo sky.  And there was the nearly full, waxing moon.  Perhaps it was the combination of a warm, windless evening, deep sky and the brightness of the sun reflecting off the moon that took my breath away.  

It made me curious as to the yogic meanings and significance of the moon.  (You've got to love Google...got a question?  Google it and your world opens up in an instant.)  I knew that some styles of yoga avoid practicing on the full and new (not visible in the night sky) moon, but I didn't really know why.  And I know that a woman's menstrual cycle is often referred to as the "moon" cycle and is a time to avoid inversions longer than a minute.  So what's the connection?

Chandra is the Sanskrit name for the moon.  It represents feminine energy, that which is cool, nurturing, creative, empathic and intuitive.  The sun (Surya) is masculine energy being hot, 
fiery, linear, analytical and pragmatic.  We all have these energetic qualities and, at times, one is more predominant than the other. We also know that the moon effects the ocean's tides and since we too, are largely composed of water, the moon is thought to act on us as well.

When the moon is full, the energy is thought to move out and upward, often in a chaotic and energetic way.  This upward movement can lead the yoga practitioner to striving and over-doing their practice, perhaps to such an extent that it leads to injury.  The full moon acts as a natural sabbath, a day to rest and connect.  When the moon is new, the opposite energy is present, often sluggish, downward moving with lethargy and a lack of concentration being present.

Ideally, the half moon, the phase of the lunar cycle that is in the middle away from the extremes, is a great time to be in your practice.  This is represented by the pose Ardha Chandrasana (Half Moon Pose and pictured below).  It's a place of symmetry and balance between the extremes.

So much about being on our path is aimed at finding the middle way.  That perfect place of harmony between body, mind and spirit.  Instead of living at the extremes for any length of time, our healthiest selves come from being in balance. It's how we fluctuate between hot/cold, creativity/analysis, right/left, good/evil and love/hate.  Can we step onto our mats, recognize what's out of whack and allow the process of our breath, movement and awareness bring us back to center? 

A point of reflection is to notice how you feel when you're overdoing  or under-doing anything...work, exercise, food, sleep. What could come into your life that would swing your pendulum back toward the middle?  Perhaps doing a few half moon poses between the full and new moon is a starting point.

Ah...La Bella Luna.  Not only does it reflect light, it inspires me to connect to my own inner radiance.

Class of 2014

This past weekend was one of those times in life with abundant "apex" moments.  My thought of the week is to stop and celebrate when those moments are happening, such as graduating 18 students from yoga trainees to yoga teachers. 

It all began over a year ago when traveling in India that I received insights about offering a yoga teacher training program.  I returned to the States with a firm belief that it was one of those items next on my list.  I was once told that I needed to share all that I have learned, that it was part of my dharma (reason for being here) and that it would be adharmic to keep it to myself. Write, speak, teach were part of the instructions in sharing what I knew and a teacher training seemed appealing.  I felt called.

In order to offer a teacher training one needs to fulfill a number of requirements as well as the ability to jump through some hoops.  I had to create a curriculum outline, set dates, prices, find venues and apply to Yoga Alliance (the credentialing body in the USA). Once you submit the application, you wait for approval.  So, I applied and waited...and became my own yoga school.

But would there be enough interest?

An overwhelming yes was the answer to that question with 18 students working through 10 modules over almost 10 months.  I wanted to offer a foundation of training that would support the instructors in their future choices, that they would have a strong foundation in alignment, anatomy, communication, modifications and by the end be in a position to teach a safe and fun gentle yoga class.

I don't want to say "Mission Accomplished" but rather "Mission blown out of the water!".  Although everyone was taught the same content during the course, everyone displayed their unique style and personality by their final exam (which was teaching a 40-minute class).  Each class was interestingly distinct, yet all built on foundational principles...18 different flavors, all reflecting a well- rounded fundamental understanding of yoga.

Our final day was a celebration in a local park.  It was time to play.  We gathered early where I taught a gentle yoga class joined by family and friends. The ceremony had two lines of trainees on either side of a purple cloth.  When a trainee was called, they proceeded to the end of the cloth which was raised into the air as the tunnel of transition.  As the trainee stood, I read the outstanding qualities that their fellow students thought of them, "kind, funny, nurturing, professional, precise and calm" were some of the adjectives.  Upon reaching the end, they were given a 108 bead mala (meditation necklace), goody bag, choice of a new lululemon yoga mat (thanks for the donation lululemon!) and their much deserved certificate.

  

This group has grown into its own unique and close knit community.  They've been supportive of each other and grown into deep friendships with the resultant undertone being one of authentic gratitude and love for each other.  Tears flowed, hugs were abundant and my heart was so full of pride and love that there truly was no room for anything else.

To be given the opportunity to walk your path and share is an incredible gift.  I have such trust and excitement in how these newly anointed teachers will ripple out into the community.  They all have so much to offer, each in their uniquely beautiful way.

It truly has been an "apex" moment.  Congratulations to all!