Non-Negotiable

Last week we took some time to look at our "why", the driving force behind what motivates us to do certain things. It began with the story about someone writing their eulogy and realizing that what they had written wasn't aligning with how they were currently living. This awakening led them to make significant changes by setting intentions of slowing down and living a more purposeful life. Once we realize what's really important to us in the long run, do we have the discipline to enact and, moreover, stick to daily rituals that connect us to our why?

We are constantly engaged in a dynamic daily shift of experiences and this topic is purposefully timed to coincide with the holiday season, sometimes nicknamed the "silly season". We hear people saying they're going to try and "survive" the holidays which sounds not only combative but truly exhausting. Wouldn't it be refreshing to set an intention of ease and peace during this time of year? So this weeks thought is twofold: 

1. What do we need to do daily to keep us from capsizing when life gets overly full?

2. What do we have in place that keeps us connected to our larger life's "why", those things that provide the rich soil for our lives?

In a recent interview, Courtney Carver from Be More With Less spoke about three non-negotiables that she has for those times when the "tilt" happens. The tilt is a period of time in which we know that our schedules are over-scheduled and we may be burning the candle at both ends. We are quite adaptable creatures and can sustain the tilt for short periods, such as the holiday season or running a major event, but know that over the long haul, being tilted will eventually lead us to tipping over the edge. During these times, Courtney ensures that she: 1) gets sufficient sleep; 2) eats nourishing whole foods; and 3) meditates daily. 

My personal list of non-negotiables is 1) getting sufficient sleep, and 2) daily meditation. Those two things are at the top of the pile and have been at the top over the past several years as I have found them to be the ballast of equanimity all year long. Close to the top of the list with a bit more wiggle room are: moving my body, being mindful of nourishing myself with whole foods; and getting out in nature, including putting my hands in the dirt and feet in the sand. When I connect into that inner sanctuary, not only does it feed my own soul and keep me connected to my larger purpose in life, but it makes me a nicer person to be around. I know that hungry + tired = cranky, so keeping things in place leads to greater ease for all.

As we enter this holiday season, perhaps we can set the intention to be more present rather than stress about giving the perfect presents. Perhaps we can honor the rhythm of the Northern Hemisphere as we approach the winter solstice to give ourselves some time to hibernate and rejuvenate and in the Southern Hemisphere, to get outside and touch the earth. Perhaps we can put the wide angle lens on the camera of our life and look at the big picture, to slow down, take a deep breath and truly savor rather than survive this time of year. In the end, what has impact and adds quality to our lives are the experiences we create more than the stuff we give or get. So remember what's important to you, to connect to your why, for not only this time of year, but as the mantra of how you want to live and honor those couple of things that help you stay on track and make it manifest.

Now take a deep breath and do something that feeds your soul...no negotiating!

What's Your Why?

Over the next two weeks, we'll be exploring two connected concepts-What's Your Why? and Non-Negotiables. These two ideas are linked as once we truly know what motivates us, we begin to put non-negotiables in place to support us staying on track. My thinking about the timing of these two topics has been inspired by the approaching holiday season and all of the things that trip us up during this time. It's as though we enter into expectations that have been built up over a lifetime. 

When I was growing up, our Mom always made a huge effort to create a memorable Christmas holiday. She spent hours shopping and finding things that were just right for us four kids...nobody got more than anyone else, the tree was always trimmed, the presents beautifully wrapped, and Christmas morning Santa always delivered something special into our stockings. As a kid, I loved this time of year and, as I grew older, I realized that what was magical for me triggered an enormous stress response in my mother. Even in the past few years, this time of year flipped the stress trigger for Mom even though she had been an empty-nester for years. It's the expectations that we hold that can bring us less than a happy holiday, so in anticipation of being pushed off center during the holiday season, now is the perfect time to look at a deeper sense of our "why".

I love listening to Brooke and Ben McAlary of the Slow Home Podcast, who prompted this idea of finding our why. As part of a re-entry into her writing, Brooke randomly opened a book about things that spark ideas and inspire us to write and landed on the page that asked to write her own eulogy in three sentences. After many attempts and re-writes, she realized that the eulogy she wanted wasn't lining up with how she was living in that moment. In order for her to create her dream eulogy, she realized that something needed to change. As she began to uncover her why she started to put things into place to support a deeper intention.

I know that a large part of my why is to contribute to a more compassionate world, not only for myself but in actions toward other beings (human and otherwise) and toward Mother Earth. I use the lens of yoga to do my work in the world which is to share as much as I know and to support others in finding greater ease and balance in their lives. Another motivating why is to be of service to others, in whatever form that may take, whether it be through fundraising, raising consciousness, or lending a helping hand. I had a very real moment many years back as I began to transition fully into teaching yoga. I recognized that I needed to have experienced what I was asking of my students. It was important to be living from a yogic perspective in order for me to authentically share it with others. I didn't want to be a person who spoke the words during class and then acted differently once outside the doors. And this why shaped certain behaviors that over time have evolved into being my non-negotiables, such as a morning meditation practice and a commitment to writing.

Your why may be, and probably is, quite different to mine but perhaps you use the practices of yoga as a support to being more present and grounded in your why. Another example of taking action based on your intentions can be something as simple as bringing your own shopping bags to stores, or investing in multi-use containers for beverages and food, rather than single-use items. The why is that perhaps we no longer wish to contribute to excess plastic in landfills or in the ocean and the result is that we consciously use multi-use items.

As you approach this holiday season, ask yourself why you might feel compelled to be busy during this time and see if it aligns with how you wish to be in the world. I am grateful to all of you who take the time to connect with me through this blog and in our ever-expanding yoga community. May those of you who celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday spend it with love in your heart surrounded by those you love.

All Blocked Up

The other day a yoga student was suffering from seasonal allergies. They were all stuffed up, breathing through their mouth, and kept stepping off their mat to blow their nose. They were all blocked up...which led me to thinking about how we can be blocked not only on a physical level (cold, allergies, muscular cramp or atherosclerosis) but we can also get stuck on a mental, emotional and spiritual level of our being. And the perfect antidote? Yoga of course!

If you're a regular reader of this blog, then this news won't be earth-shattering. According to the Sutras of Patanjali, an ancient Indian text with 196 aphorisms expounding the practice of yoga, describes in the second chapter (pada) that yoga has eight limbs. And only one of those limbs talks about yoga as a physical practice. Yep...just one. When I first learned this, I think my jaw dropped a bit as I knew there was much I didn't know about yoga, but my initial image was that it was another form of movement or exercise and had this potential to help create calmer states. And all of that was true, but it was also a naive viewpoint as I was missing seven of the eight limbs and thus also missing much of the magic that renders yoga a diverse and deeply enriching experience.

To reiterate, the eight limbs are:

1. Yama - Self-awareness, internal observations. The five Yamas are: Non-Harming, Truthfulness, Non-stealing, Moderation, and Non-Possessiveness.

2. Niyama - Ethical Principles. The five Niyamas are: Self-Purification, Contentment, Self-Discipline, Self-Study, and Surrender.

3. Asana - Translated as pose or posture. Literally as "a comfortable seat".

4. Pranayama - Breath awareness and control.

5. Pratyahara - Withdrawal of the senses.

6. Dharana - Concentration

7. Dhyana - Meditation

8. Samadhi - Merging with Divine Consciousness or Enlightenment.

One way to check in with ourselves is through the reflection, study, and application of the eight limbs. If we've only been focusing on the physical practice by doing poses, we have an opportunity to create greater harmony in ourselves by practicing the other seven branches. For my personal growth in yoga, I was well acquainted with the physical part of the practice and something deeper within me was asking for a more soulful exploration of my place in the world. The eight-limbs provided this framework and still do.

So if you think you've got blockages that are keeping you out of balance, how do you find them and do something about it? This past week in classes we've been checking in with our seven energy centers known as the chakras (meaning "wheel" in Sanskrit). You too can go through the below visualization and notice your answers to each of the questions. Notice how well you're able to sense or visualize the colors and what answers pop up with each question. Try to do so without judgment by bringing a curiosity to the exploration.

Find a comfortable position, preferably lying down with your body comfortably supported. Connect to a few deep breaths, imagining the inhaling breath starting at the base of the spine and rising to the crown of the head along the back channel of the body. On the exhale, simply let the breath go. Then bring your awareness to each of the energy centers and ask yourself the following questions:

Base (Muladhara) Chakra - At the base of the spine, this is the root/base energy center. Do I feel safe? Am I grounded? Do I feel connected to community/tribe? Can I imagine a RED sphere of light in this area?

Sacral (Svadisthana) Chakra - Located along the spine behind the navel center. Do my emotions flow easily through me? Do I feel adaptable, like water? Can I imagine an ORANGE sphere of light?

Solar Plexus (Manipura) Chakra - Located in the solar plexus of the upper abdomen. Can I stand up for myself? Do I feel empowered in my life? How is my self-esteem? Can I imagine a YELLOW sphere of light?

Heart (Anahata) Chakra - Located in the heart region. Do I give and receive love? Am I living my life from a place of compassion for myself, all beings, and Mother Earth? Do I need to forgive someone? Can I imagine a GREEN sphere of light in this area?

Throat (Visuddha) Chakra - Located in the throat. Can I speak my truth? Am I biting my tongue? Do words get stuck in my throat? Am I creating the life I wish to live? Can I imagine a BLUE sphere of light in this area?

Third Eye (Ajna) Chakra -  Located between the eyebrows on the forehead. Do I trust my intuition? Am I listening to my inner wisdom? Can I imagine an INDIGO sphere of light here?

Crown (Sahasrara) Chakra - Located at the top of the head. Do I feel part of something bigger? What am I doing to deepen my level of consciousness? Am I able to surrender to a higher sense or power? Can I imagine a brilliant WHITE/VIOLET sphere of light here?

Notice if any particular area felt dull or if the questions piqued your interest. This may be an area that needs to be opened up and/or cleared. Focus a few deep breaths into that particular area and take some time to explore what arose during your experience.

We know that all of these practices take time and what we experience one day may be quite different a week later. Thankfully, we have the structure of the Yoga Sutras and the practices of yoga to help us find our way. In these challenging times, spending some energy bringing harmony into our own selves is time well spent.

Happy clearing!

Show Up

You've arrived. You're sitting on your yoga mat a few minutes before the class is scheduled to begin. As you sit, you look around at the other people arriving and settling onto their mats. Perhaps you're feeling a bit anxious about what lays ahead. You look at the person a couple of mats over and think, "Wow, they look like they know what they're doing...I wonder if I'll ever look like that." Perhaps you're wondering if this is where you actually want to be, as there are so many other options available to you at this time. I mean, you did have to say "no" to something else in order to just get here in time. Is it worth it?

As I sat in contemplation on Sunday afternoon, thinking about what I would talk about in the upcoming week, I wasn't struck with any seemingly brilliant sparks of inspiration. So, I reflected back into the types of conversations I had been having with people and it seemed that one common theme was that of simply showing up. It can be truly challenging to make a commitment to something on a regular basis and stick with it. In order to understand our drive to being there in the first place, understanding why is a first step. 

What is it that brings you to the mat or meditation cushion? 
For so many, the initial impetus is finding a way to stretch and strengthen our body. Another is to search for a way to manage the everyday stresses in our lives. These are great reasons to come into a practice of yoga or meditation. Another reason is to truly get a deeper understanding of ourselves.

When we show up on the mat it has a double effect. The first is the experience that we have during the practice. We can breathe, stretch deeply, slow down, and perhaps gain some insights we hadn't connected to previously. And the second is the effect that occurs when we step off the mat and back out into the world. What we do on the mat supports us in showing up in our lives. Students in my classes might have heard me say that when we go to a class it's as though we're stepping into our own laboratory. It's where we experiment, where we try things out or perhaps taking a bigger risk into something unknown. It's easy to find deeper relaxation, a quieter mind, and deep breathing in a beautifully controlled environment which is climate controlled, filled with props to support and pad us, as well as a lovely and often high tech yoga mat to step onto. The teacher guides us through progressions and visualizations to help accelerate a particular experience, often with a focused intention. 

The "real" yoga begins when the class is over and we head outside of the lab. We come face-to-face with the world, which, after a good yoga class or session of meditation, appears as though everyone we come across is about as far away from enlightenment that a person could get! It's enough to knock us out of our post-savasana haze into the cruel "realities" of daily life. One of the most unexpected gifts I've received from practicing yoga and meditation is a sense of softness with the world. When I see anger, frustration, rage, or deep sadness in others, I can more easily see through the suffering that has caused it. I continue to practice offering kindness to myself on my mat so that I can step out into the big bad world and try it out on others. 

It's a practice. It's challenging. It often makes us feel vulnerable to expose ourselves a bit more fully than we have previously. As Brené Brown, (Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead) says:

"The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time." 

So my thought of the week is to applaud all of you who take the time to read this, to those of you who set the intention of showing up in your practice, and to those who come back, again and again, trusting that what we create in the lab stays with us as we venture out.

Thank you for showing up!