The Zone

If you ask most people, I think they would say they would prefer to be comfortable rather than uncomfortable. Whether it relates to what you're wearing on a particular day, being in a social setting, at work or in the body, we seek to feel at ease.

I find myself frequently asking yoga students to find a place of ease in a pose, to let go of struggling or to find ease in their breath. When we are trying something that is unfamiliar, it can make us uncomfortable and as a result we tense our muscles and hold our breath. Finding ease in a place that's challenging offers us an opportunity to move out of our comfort zone in a more comfortable way.

So why do we need to move out of our comfort zone? And do you really know what your zone is? We each have a way of being in the world and it's as individual as our fingerprint. Aren't we constantly doing this dance between trying new things but not to the point that we feel we'll fail or look bad?

One of my favorite sayings from Judith Hanson Lasater is, "does this feel painful/uncomfortable or just unfamiliar?" I love this because it offers a subtle distinction between what we know and what we don't. When we explore an unfamiliar feeling or experience, it opens up a doorway to a new sensation, expanding our zone of what we know and can do.

My zone has been challenged throughout this year from the moment I was deciding whether or not to do the Global Seva Challenge through Off the Mat, Into the World. The aim was to raise awareness around the issue of sex trafficking in India and worldwide and, in the process, to raise money to support programs and partners already in place in India that are rescuing girls from the trade. Any participant who raises $20,000 can go on the Bare Witness Tour to India to see what the organization has been supporting.

One of my initial responses was that if I was going to do the challenge, then I really wanted to raise the $20K. But how? I haven't been a fundraiser since selling chocolate bars door to door for my Bobby Sox softball league when I was nine. What did I know about raising that much money. And what was even more challenging is that I would have to find a voice to ask people for support...in a multitude of ways. I recognized that if I were to undertake the challenge that I couldn't do it by myself and that meant stepping out of one of my major comfort zones of asking for help. I have always been fiercely independent with the defiant two year old persona of "I can do it myself", so to say to someone "can you give me a hand" was likely to get stuck in my throat.

But the most amazing thing happened.

When I recognized that the only thing holding me back was asking for help and finding the words, I realized I was willing to take a chance. So I took a deep breath, honored the sick feeling in my stomach and asked anyway. My fear almost got in the way of not doing it. My fear of being told "no". My fear of trying to reach the goal and failing. My fear of trying something that I had no idea how to do. But something deeper within bubbled up and recognized my own suffering was easily overcome in order to do something significant for someone else whose suffering was unthinkable.

And although people did say "no" and didn't offer support, more people did. So many people in fact turned up and said "yes-how can I help?" that not only have I reached the goal, I've surpassed it. In the process I have changed. My zone has expanded, my skill set has grown, my confidence as a leader has been altered forever and I have this almost inexplicable feeling of love and joy at the idea of community coming together.

It's because I took a risk and stepped out of my comfort zone. I could have shirked away and said "that's too hard", but I didn't. This is why we step out of what makes us comfortable...so we can redefine our own zone. So we can be more at ease in the face of challenge.

Please take a deep breath into that scary space within, see what arises and take a chance...it might just knock your socks off!