Giving and Receiving

I recently took my first Acroyoga class at Bhakti Fest. Acroyoga is a mix between Thai yoga massage, yoga and acrobatics. It relies on the basic principle of trust with one person being the base and the other the flyer. The experience for the base and the flyer was quite different. As the base, we needed to be steady, centered and calm. As the flyer, we needed to trust, rely on the cues from the base and then surrender. Once the flyer let go, the bliss began to unfold.

This leads me to my thought of the week-- how we are in a constant exchange of energy. We give. We take. But often not in the most balanced way.

Having my yoga practice housed within a women's medical health center means that I see familiar issues amongst many students. One of the biggest is the amount of energy that women give out to others. It's as though the DNA of females has a mighty voice to look after others whether they be a beloved partner, kids, friends, businesses or social groups. And yet in the process of doing so, they are often starved of what makes them flourish.

As a result, these women often stumble into class begging for savasana (SHA-vah-sana - the final relaxation pose that I offer at the end of every class). When I ask the question of "what do you need from your practice today?" one of the most frequent answers is savasana! This response tells me two things. First, relaxing in a fully supported posture just feels good. Second, that most people don't allocate time for themselves to enjoy such moments. They're always sending their energy in one direction...out.

If you take a broader look of the balance of the universe, it is constantly giving and receiving. Energy flows in two directions...in and out, so if we are always sending energy away from ourselves, eventually we'll tip into a state of imbalance. Sometimes this is so subtle, that we don't recognize it's happening until we're fried, tired and wired.

Have you ever been in a relationship that only goes in one direction? You call, email, text or write but rarely receive anything back? It's like sitting on one side of a seesaw and expecting things to move. It won't. You can give it your energy by sitting on one side but unless somebody else contributes, you'll stay sitting in the same place. It's like the tango...it takes two.

This can be personal or professional in its occurrence but it's always in relation to someone else...often the relationship we have with ourselves. After awhile of one way energy flow, you feel as though you've been emptying your tank into a black hole of consumption. You give but never receive and in the process, realize that perhaps this relationship is no longer serving and supporting your own needs. So what do you do?

I have come across people who have made conscious choices to clear the "toxic" relationships out of their lives. Toxic, in my definition, means shifting away from interactions that don't feed or meet your needs. By staying connected it furthers our own suffering; by letting go we begin to remove obstacles that keep us from being freer in our lives.

Bliss comes with letting go of what limits us. If a toxic relationship is putting shackles on our own growth, then maybe it's time to re-think the give and take. We may be better at giving than receiving, but either way we need both. Besides, it's more fun to seesaw and tango with someone else willing to step into it with you. Including that all important relationship...the one you have with yourself.