Boundaries

It struck me on an early morning walk that I needed to reverse course and say “no”. It’s often as we are undertaking mundane tasks such as walking, folding laundry, doing the dishes, or taking a shower that we’re hit with moments of truth and clarity. I had made a commitment to become an accountability buddy for my Shamanism course and after receiving the information of what I needed to do next, felt a wave of overwhelm. I was in the midst of creating a surprise party for my husband’s 70^th birthday as well as content for a soon-to-be-launched new course. Individually, these don’t sound like obstacles but given the pandemic, uncertainty with business, and an upcoming Presidential election, it just felt like one more thing had been added into my realm of contemplation. And in the peaceful morning walk, my inner self firmly told me to say “no” to another commitment. And I listened. When I got home, I sent an email apologizing for having to withdraw as an accountability buddy, but since boundaries are what we’re currently studying, I’m going to honor mine and back away.

I immediately felt relief and although I had a pang of “Wow, perhaps I’ll be missing out on something cool”, I have made peace with the decision. Boundaries are acts of self-care and self-love. When we have them working well for us, our self-esteem remains intact and we can truly practice the self-realization portion of our lives as it is a reflection of asking ourselves what we need and to choose what serves us.

I was once told during a reading of my chakra energy that my second chakra was wide open, as though I had a drawer pulled out that I rarely closed and people found it to be the perfect dumping ground for their stuff. Until that moment, I didn’t realize that I was leaving myself open and as a result felt overly emotional and sensitive. I was also told during the same reading that my throat chakra was closed, as though I had a bird locked in a cage, waiting to be freed and express itself. I had unconsciously put a walled boundary around my self-expression and it was bursting to be free. What helped closing one chakra and opening the other was twofold. First, becoming aware that my second chakra was open and my throat closed, was having a physical and emotional impact on my wellness, and second, that I could choose to close the drawer and unlock the cage, in other words, I had the power to adjust my boundaries.

When things impact us, shifting us away from our optimal state, we have the power to make changes. Standing in the strength of our third chakra is related to standing up for ourselves. It has the element of fire and the potential to transmute energy. When we notice a boundary is being breached, we have the power to adjust it. It often means saying “no” to something and possessing the self-worth despite the fact it may impact or disappoint someone else. When we put up a boundary, we do so from a place of self-love. If we say “yes” to something without having the full-hearted commitment to it, not only do we create suffering for ourselves but it pulls us out of living from a heart-centered place, and that energy echoes away from us. As Brene Brown says, “Daring to set boundaries is about having the courage to love ourselves, even when we risk disappointing others.”

 This week’s thought is to look within to see what you need and to recognize we have all sorts of boundaries-physical, emotional, mental, and energetic. We are asking ourselves if any of our boundaries are too malleable or too rigid, and can we do something to change it so it serves us more deeply? Every morning as I finish my meditation practice I clear my energy fields and surround myself in protective luminous layers of energy. They’re translucent so I can send out intentions from my highest self and receive goodness from the outer world. They’re protective through the intentions I set to not absorb what doesn’t serve me and to release that energy back to Mother Earth.

The below quote came to my inbox this week and feels like the perfect conclusion to this week’s blog…enjoy the golden circle of light!

The great mythologist, Joseph Campbell, who spent his entire life studying the religions of the world, was asked, “What is the definition of sacred?” and “How do human beings make something sacred?” He responded, “It’s the simplest thing in the entire world, and you do not need a priest for it, anybody can do it. Here’s how humans make something sacred: You draw a circle around it and you say everything inside this circle is holy. It’s sacred because you said so. That is called a boundary, and a boundary is not a wall. A boundary is not something that you hide behind. A boundary is a golden circle that you draw around the things that matter to you, and you say everything inside this circle is sacred. If you treat it with respect, you are allowed to come in, but take your shoes off and bow because you are coming into the center of holiness here. And if it’s not, and it’s outside, then what do we say? We say, “I do not care.”