Saturday, May 2, 2020

Spinning Out


When my husband and I traveled to Japan in 2016, we had the cool experience of taking the bullet train, rapidly from city to city. As I peered out the windows, towns, and countryside would be whizzing past, so much so, it was difficult to truly see anything with clarity...it was all a blur. And that's what it feels like when my mind begins to spin out. It's as though I've hopped back onto one of those bullet trains and am rushing into out of control thoughts. The latest notice for me is when I begin to think about the future. If I hop on that train, whoosh! Off I go into the imaginary future of what might, could, should happen. And at the same time, I have little idea as to what will actually happen but I insist on riding the train for a little bit longer.

Thinking about the future and trying to plan for it isn't an undesirable thing. At the moment, I'm re-imagining what my business model looks like. After seven weeks of teaching online via Zoom and having my physical yoga studio closed, it seems prudent to think about the future and how I might serve others and what form does that take? I know I want to keep offering my services and, thus far, it has been serving both me and my students. The time to get off the speeding train is when I go too far out and imagine all that could happen. Will people get Zoom burn-out and stop showing up? Will I be able to keep the business going? Will I burn out without the in-person feedback from students and interaction with others? What will our busy season look like? Will the snowbirds flock back or is this the way it's going to be for...blah, blah, blah. GET OFF THE TRAIN before it begins to create more suffering.

Thank goodness for the compass of a yoga practice, one that's been built over a couple of decades, creating a firm footing for my unsteady mind meanderings. What helps us disembark the wayward train is turning to what supports us. This week we have turned to the Sutras of Patanjali, 196 aphorisms that succinctly support us in taking action in finding greater ease and peacefulness in our lives. In particular, the Sutra smack dab in the beginning of the discourse, Sutra 1:2 - Yogas Citta Vrtti Nirodha. The translation that resonates with me for this Sutra is, "Yoga requires the calming of the fluctuations of the mind". The keyword in that sentence is requires. In other words, in order for us to be in a state of harmony/union (yoga), our minds must be calm and the mental agitations (vrttis) need to lessen. If our minds aren't calm, the other aspects of who we are also out of balance--body, emotions, and spirit aren't in a state of equanimity and a state of disconnection are present. 

Thankfully, the other magical dose within the Sutras is the way we can practice achieving more and more states of ease through undertaking things such as yoga poses, breath work, turning inward, concentration and mindfulness as well as becoming more aware of how we act in our world (think compassion, truthfulness, appreciating abundance) and evolve in our individual selves (think continued study, disciplined effort, and contentment).

One of the keys to understanding where to launch into our practice is to open awareness to what's triggering the imbalance in the first place. I hop on the mind train in thinking about the future and wanting to be able to control outcomes. Others have expressed their challenges during these challenging times--- loud noises; worry about what's next and not knowing; loss of control and conditions where the outcome is unknown; too much news; everything all at once; thinking about the future of the younger generations; being stuck in the house; health and pain; being effective in the new normal for family, clients, and friends; trying to be all to everyone; trying to fix everything, and being unable to do anything to change the course of events. 

Yep...it seems as though there's an endless list of things to worry about. So this week, simply notice when these thoughts are no longer serving you and ask yourself, "What can I do to bring myself back into this present moment?" Do I need to move my body, take some deep breaths, undertake a creative project, speak to a supportive and inspiring friend, acknowledge my gratitude's, or simply sit quietly? Perhaps all of these will help but one thing for certain is that consistently coming into your practice will likely tap into all of these areas.

When you find yourself spinning out, place your hand on your heart and say, "I am in my heart...listening. Listening."

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