Loving-Kindness

The big question I asked myself at the beginning of this week was what theme seemed like a natural progression from the previous two weeks of intentions and being present? What evolved was talking about the Brahma-viharas, four qualities that are cultivated in and out of meditation practice. These "heart practices" are said to be one wing of a bird with the other wing being practices of mindfulness and insight. When they are both ignited, we take off and fly!

So what better way to deepen our intentions and focus on this moment then to unveil the practice of loving-kindness, also known as "metta" meditation. Metta means "friend" in Pali, the language of the Buddha, and is a practice that uses the repetition of phrases. The ones that I were taught are:

May I be safe

May I be happy

May I be healthy

May I live with ease and find peace

The phrases are simple and succinct and are repeated as we sit in the practice of meditation and stillness. As you may notice, these statements are " May I" as that is the starting point for this practice. We begin with ourselves and over time we eventually begin to offer the statements to others. We begin with I, then move outward, like an embracing circle to: a benefactor, friend, neutral person, challenging person and then, out to the furthest point away from ourselves, to people me may be in complete disagreement or disgust with. In other words, we don't start by trying to offer loving- kindness to the most challenging or difficult people in the world, but begin to truly entrench loving-kindness within our own hearts so it becomes a natural part of who we are.

Having worked in women's health for the past several years, I noticed how so many women (and men, too) begin away from themselves. They spend their energy looking after others - family, homes, spouses, jobs, their community or local events. And often they realize that they themselves are empty, burned-out or resentful. 

The practice of loving-kindness reminds us to begin within our own hearts. For what we wish for ourselves, we wish for all beings everywhere. This process takes time to establish. We cultivate and dig these phrases into our own psyche so that they become the reflection of our deepest intentions, particularly when we are connected to the present moment. We begin to realize that when our own hearts are tended, we are able to reach out with love and compassion to others, rather than with resentment and agitation.

The next three Brahma-viharas are compassion, sympathetic joy and equanimity. Practicing loving- kindness, compassion and sympathetic leads us to states of equanimity, those in which we aren't pummelled by the swinging pendulum of life.

I will be introducing the other feathers in this wing of heart-centered practices over the next three weeks. But for now, begin with the simplest of phrases that you offer to yourself with sincerity. The phrase that resonates most profoundly with me is "May I find peace and live with ease." This encapsulates a fundamental life intention, both personally and in my outward public life. If I wish for peace in the world, if I truly want to have my grandchildren find ease and harmony in their lives and I wish for us to globally live together with respect and honor, I must practice that for myself. How can I expect things to be different outside of me if I am unwilling to open the door of self-love within my own self?

May all beings everywhere be happy, healthy, find peace and live with ease...and that includes me.