Finding Compassion

A few years ago, I went to a talk by His Holiness The Dalai Lama in Melbourne, Australia. It was held in the Rod Laver arena that is home to the Australian Open Tennis Championships, which translate into holding a few thousand people. It was striking to me how quiet such a huge crowd became when His Holiness entered the arena. That was the first thing I remember clearly...the hushed masses.

The second was the one word that was the theme of the evening and the on-going mission by His Holiness. Compassion.

Recently, the thought around the word and act of compassion has been prominent in my thinking. How can I, an everyday gal, find more compassion within myself and others? What I do know is that it's a great concept and extremely challenging to practice.

Pema Chodron, a well published Buddhist teacher has translated this theme into practical ways of enacting it. To begin to find more compassion for ourselves, we can try to put ourselves into the perspective of others. What is the experience throught their eyes? What is it like to be in their shoes? When we begin to create their experience for ourselves, we often have a shift in us being right and them being wrong.

I had this theory in my head and then, not surprisingly, was given an opportunity to test it out.

During the hectic holiday season, I was on my way to work enjoying one of those beautiful desert mornings with low light and crystal blue skies. I was stopped at a red light that had a "No Turn on Red" sign. So, I sat waiting for the light to turn green. As I came to this stop, I hear the guy in a truck behind me, laying on his horn and can see him yelling at me via my rear view mirror, wanting me to turn right on red.

I rolled my window down and pointed to the sign. His reaction was to continue yelling at me (which I couldn't hear, but could see his agitation). When the light turned green, I turned right. We both came to the next set of lights and he pulled up along side of me to make a left as I was going straight.

Once again, I rolled down my window. He did the same and before I could say anything he defensively says, "yah, yah, Ma'am, I saw the sign...". To which I said, "I was just obeying the law". My unevolved self wanted to call him a name and make some sarcastic comment, but my ever evolving self step in front and shrugged her shoulders.

It really struck me that in that moment, I had a choice to either feel that I was right and he was wrong (and impatient) or to find a lesson sitting within. The lesson rang out loud and clear and it was that the guy probably wasn't having a peaceful morning and was in a hurry. He might not have noticed the crystal blue sky. He needed to be some place. And I had a choice to either feed my momentary anger or to reconnect to enjoying the morning.

Once I realized the choice, I learned the lesson of practicing compassion. Not only for the impatient driver, but compassion for me, choosing to be how I wanted to be.

The challenge for you this week is before reacting, just step into another persons perspective, even if just for a moment. You might be surprised at what you see, feel and experience.