Stillness

I often create my weekly theme based on what I need to personally tap into and stillness just seemed to be the perfect fit. We're in peak season, my schedule is full, and I'm seeking those still moments to balance out the ones in motion.

On Monday morning before my week began with this theme, I awakened to a beautifully peaceful morning. And then, wham! The wind picked up as though someone had flipped the switch of a movie set wind machine for special effects. As I looked outside and saw the branches being flung around, I thought to myself, "Oh...there's this weeks theme!". We can be in moments of stillness and unexpectedly hit turbulence as life seems to be swirling around us. Related to that, another cool thing happened as I discovered a hummingbird's nest in a ficus tree outside our bedroom window. Not knowing if it was an old nest, I grabbed a chair to get a better look and as I peeked into the nest there were two "tic-tac" like eggs! We're going to have hummer babies! I hadn't yet seen the Mama but shortly thereafter, she appeared and sat upon the nest. All was as it should be in the life of a hummingbird!

On the day when the wind picked up, my heart skipped a beat as I had this image of the Mama and nest being knocked to the ground. Running to the bedroom window, I was relieved to see the Mama sitting quietly on the nest, eyes closed as she simply went with the movement of the wind. Again I thought, "There's stillness in action!". She sat motionless, seemingly relaxed despite the windy chaos around her.

My point is, stillness sits somewhere within us, it's not just a theoretical idea, but an actual physical sensation. Stillness is very much like silence in that we're often not comfortable with it. So often we have this underlying kinetic calling to move, fidgeting and twitching if we get too physically quiet. We fill the silence with some sort of "white" noise or background music. We can learn to be in both these places of silence and stillness through our practice and perhaps you're asking, "so why does it matter if we're fidgety and like noise?".

It matters because this is one way in which we begin to "still the fluctuations of the mind" as described in the Sutras of Patanjali (1.2 "yogas citta vritti nirodha"). My teacher, Judith Hanson Lasater, translates this as "yoga requires the stilling of the fluctuations of the mind". When our thoughts are flying around us like hummingbirds, hijacking any sense of calm, we can get pulled into thought patterns that actually create suffering rather than offering peacefulness. As we drop into stillness, we can better hear our inner voice, perhaps the sound of a deep whisper that's longing to be heard. When we get quiet, we can dust some of the noise off of this voice and deeply listen.

This week we've been exploring how physically still we can become and in the process, allowing ourselves to get super curious as to where we "feel" stillness living within us. For me, I get a sense of steadiness by focusing on my forehead, around the area of the third eye and into the inner corners of the eyes. Another person shared this week that they could sense stillness in their fingertips; so it doesn't matter where in your body you connect to stillnes as long as you know where it is. Once you find this still point, you can note it as "home" and anytime you're sitting amidst chaos, fear, or turbulence,  coming "home" can help to steady the unease.

I once had the pleasure of meeting Julia Butterfly Hill, who spent 738 days living in a 1500-year old California redwood tree. She wrote the book, "The Legacy of Luna" where she describes being on her tree platform and getting tossed around in a storm. She was scared, fearing a fall would result in her being killed. She clutched to Luna and says in her connection to this incredibly old being heard Luna say, "Don't hold on so tightly. Soften your grip and go with it. Trust me." By dropping into her own inner voice, holding on for dear life, she heard an ancient truth being spoken. Softening our grip and allowing ourselves to simply be, allows us to connect to that inner stillness.

It may be life-altering. Time to go home...

Energy of the Heart

In classes this past week, we have been talking about the energy of the heart inspired by the celebration of Valentine's Day. This past Valentine's Day would have been my Dad's 82nd birthday so with each coming and going of February 14th, I am drawn back into my own heart in my connection and deep love that I had for my Dad. As I looked at an old photo of him, one that seemed to truly capture his nature, I saw myself. It struck me how so much of his energy is in me even though he's been gone for almost 36 years. It was a deeply contented feeling, one which is so real that it brought gratitude more than sorrow.

As I thought about the heart's energy, I was initially drawn to its physical form of being a vital organ. In yoga, we often relate to the wisdom of the heart as it pumps blood to itself before sending blood to the rest of the body. Deoxygenated blood returns to the heart and gets pumped to the lungs where an exchange is made, re-oxygenating the blood, returning to the heart and the heart then sends it on its way to oxygenate the entire organism. And so the cycle goes 60-80 times each minute. We know that if the heart didn't receive its own supply of oxygen, it would die.

When we come to our mat, sit on our meditation cushion, or live more intentionally it's as though we are oxygenating our own being. Spending time on/by ourselves isn't selfish. It's not like we're trying to see how much self-care, self-love, or self-awareness we can hoard inside. We do so in order to become more loving in the world. But it all begins within, just as the heart does.

If we think of the heart in energetic terms, it's the fourth of seven chakras that run along the spine from the base to the crown of the head. It sits smack dab in the middle, the gathering point for the physical energies of the lower three chakras and more esoteric energies of the upper three. It all comes together in the heart center.

This past week we've been keeping it simple with a breath practice of receiving, letting go and pausing. We receive the inhaling breath, oxygenating ourselves, letting go of the exhale and releasing what is no longer needed, then we pause. Repeat the cycle with a gentle noting awareness of receive, let go, pause. It is also said that the heart meridian is expressed through the arms and hands, so sitting quietly and bringing the focus into the palms of the hands can also connect us into the energy of the heart.

For ten years I worked with a well-known author who will be turning 103 this year. He is a practicing, orthodox Jew and we had many discussions on life, spirit, and literature. We both had very different practices of connecting to the bigger picture and one day he said to me, "Jayne, you really like this yoga stuff", to which I replied, "Yes, I find it really supports me". And then he gave me a gift by saying, "Yes...but it all just comes down to one thing..." and I said, "And what's that?". He calmly replied, "love". It doesn't matter what lens you're looking through in life as we all are experiencing our own personal journey.  The energy of the heart reminds us to keep it simple and remember just one thing. Love.

In A Hurry?

Slow down, you move too fast

You got to make the morning last

Just kicking down the cobblestones

Looking for fun and feelin' groovy

Ba da da da da da da, feelin' groovy...

~The 59th Street Bridge Song (Feelin' Groovy) 

by Simon & Garfunkel

Sometimes we find yogic wisdom in modern culture, and this week the wise words from Paul Simon and Art Garfunkel rang true from their 1966 song. It seemed appropriate to include their lyrics as last week during a Restorative yoga class, I was assisting someone as they transitioned into the next pose. She was stiff and moving slowly. I said to her, "That's okay, there's no need to hurry..." to which she replied, "I've been in a hurry my whole life!" And as soon as she said that, I thought to myself, "oh...I, too, have been in a hurry my whole life". It resonated as being true for me and as I've spoken about it this past week during classes, I see people nodding their head in agreement. 

I was born moving fast. I was number three out of four kids, with only 17 months separating me and my older brother. My Mom has stories of how I "wore her out" and was "always running around", hence why I started going to dance class around the age of six to get out of Mom's hair and burn off some energy. So moving at a fast pace seems natural to me and always has. My thought of the week isn't the absolute speed in which we move through our day, but whether or not it's in sync with our personal constitution and rhythm. In Ayurveda, the sister science to yoga, every person has a unique constitution based on their "dosha". The three doshas are Vata, Pitta, and Kapha. Vata's are governed by air-ether; Pitta by fire; and Kapha by water-earth. 

My personal constitution is very fiery...I'm a pitta, which when I found that out was actually quite relieved. Understanding the characteristics of my being, brought ease and acceptance as to that's how I'm wired. Pittas are the "type A's" of the dosha world. We want to know who, what, where, when, why and how. We seek knowledge and clarity, think analytically and in a linear fashion. When we're in balance we get things done, which supports my "fast" moving ways but when we're out of balance, the flames of the fire roar us into inflammatory responses of anger, frustration, and outbursts as well as physical inflammation. 

Vatas can be described more as butterflies - social, taking their time to be with people and to get to places. They may not be overly concerned with arriving on time, are enthusiastic and really creative. When out of balance, they can appear scattered and flighty. So if you get a Pitta who's in a hurry bumping up against a Vata who doesn't maneuver the world in the same way...fireworks may appear.

And Kaphas are the earth-mothers, the grounded ones, the people we want around in a crisis. They tend to be grounded and stable, walk and talk more slowly. When in balance, they can be the "rock of Gibraltar" that we turn to and when out of balance, they may tend toward sluggishness, lack motivation, or gain weight.

We all share elements of all three doshas, and knowing our own make-up helps us establish strategies for self-care. I know that when I'm rushing I become mindless rather than mindful. I try to carry too many items, I drop things, and appear clumsy. It's a feeling of being pushed from behind yet it's self-imposed. In those moments of noticing this hurried feeling, I turn to my practice and simply take a deep breath. I try to recognize why I'm rushing and match the rhythm of what needs to happen in the present moment. It's not easy, but it's gotten easier as my awareness has deepened.

As I undertake a year-long course in Simple Living, the focus of February is "busyness". It's completely appropriate as we are in peak season and people seem to be teeming all over the valley. In speaking to my husband, Ed, about changing the paradigm of thought around "being busy" he suggested that instead of saying, "I'm busy" to say "I'm full". I love that idea! Saying "I'm busy sounds dismissive, as though there's not enough time for other people or joy in life. Saying "I'm full" is acknowledging the current abundance that exists and for which I'm truly grateful.

As I feel the imposition of hurriedness I remind myself to take my foot off of the accelerator just a bit. I want to give myself room to feel the joy that comes with fullness, that deep satisfaction of manifestation. I also want to connect with and acknowledge my friends and family during more hectic times that they're a vital and loving part of my life. And if I find myself in a hurry, I can turn to an oldie but goodie and slow down, because I'm moving too fast. It's time to feel groovy!

Focus

For the past couple of weeks, I have seen focus in action. We've just completed our annual senior tennis tournament, the largest of its kind in the United States with 650 players competing in age groups from 35-90. My husband Ed has streamlined the organization of the event over the past 13 years that we've had the tournament and, as you can imagine, it takes a village to make it all happen. We have stellar volunteers and terrific support. When I'm not at the studio teaching yoga, I'm running the tournament desk, the control center of where players check-in for matches and get sent to assigned courts. We can have over 90 matches in one day and we make it all happen with a coordinated effort using walkie-talkies. Needless to say, banks of time exist when it can be rather hectic and it's during these times that I need to be focused. Distraction equals confusion, so effective concentration is truly beneficial. 

Of course, just watching high-level tennis players compete, one can see how the mental game plays a huge role in a players ability to get through the rough patches. Some players get mentally tripped up, lose concentration, and spiral into behavior that often doesn't enhance their game (or their image!). They can lose focus and connection to the present moment, indulging in negative self-talk as well as an occasional snarky comment. 

Thinking about focus and tennis brought back a memory of when I was beginning to play more competitively and would often get comments from an experienced coach at our tennis club. He had a Southern drawl and once said to me, "Jayne, you get too distracted when you're playing. You need to look at the server who's about to serve and repeat three words...ball, ball, ball." It was my first tennis mantra and it worked in those moments when I was no longer present. It drew me into a single-pointed focus, and I can now relate this to my yoga world as this is "Dharana", found in the eight-faceted path of yoga within the Sutras and means "concentration". It's a step along the pathway to meditation where we pull our senses inward (pratyahara), focus on one thing like our breath or a sensation in the body (Dharana) and slide closer to a change in the brainwave often called meditation (dhyana). What a lesson I was given! Not only did I get better at focusing on the tennis court, but I became more experienced in seeing the practical application both on and off the tennis court. 

It's not just the tennis court that a "ball, ball, ball" mantra works, but any simple statement such as "slow down", "breathe in, breathe out", "relax the shoulders", "feel the sensation in your hands", "Om Shanti" or "be here now". And I'm thinking that at no other time in humanity have we had more opportunity to be distracted. We are bombarded from multiple sides on a daily basis so it's no wonder we have feelings of being scattered, confused, and mentally fatigued. By practicing focus, we are better able to connect to the inner space of calm, particularly when we become conscious of that distraction. If we can find ways to feel the moment using our senses (seeing the ball, sensing the breath at the nostrils, or dropping our shoulders) we come straight back into the now, even if it's for a nano-second. In that nanosecond, we release our grip on the spiral that tempts us away from our center. The more we practice, the better we get at recognizing we are no longer where we wish to be...in an optimal state of concentration, leading to greater ease and flow in what we're doing.

So the thought of this week is to give yourself short bursts of time to practice concentrating. Find a keyword or phrase that snaps you back into the moment and make it your life mantra for the week. And if you don't know where to start, maybe try...ball, ball, ball.

Inner Space, Inner Peace

It's my birthday week so I wanted to pick a thought of the week that was a reflection of one of my deepest intentions...finding a peaceful heart. The inspiration has partially stemmed from my Dad, Wayne, who passed away in 1982 but not before leaving an indelible imprint on the person I am today. He was a metallurgical engineer and researcher in aerospace back in the day when it was an emerging field of exploration in the late 50's and early 60's. He worked at a think-tank and, from a young age, I had the opportunity to see moon rock and liquid nitrogen. When Dad would talk to me about outer space, I would sit in a stupor trying to comprehend the vastness of it all. Here we are, on this little dot of a planet in the Universe and what's "out there" is mind-blowing. It was the new frontier and, to this day, continues to be. It's a place of apparent silence, radiant light, and endless opportunities to search into the unknown. It's a place where infinity has true meaning.

I then started to think about inner space...that dwelling within each of us that, like outer space, has unlimited potential for exploration. At one time, our body was thought about in limited terms of skin, muscles, cells, bones, etc, and today, we are able to SEE strands of DNA. For the longest time, we had no awareness of what was lying beneath the skin, a frontier awaiting exploration. Sitting within this inner landscape beyond the physical is thought to be the "Hridaya", the cave of the heart-that untouchable, unchanging, and steadfast center of who we are. As Eckhart Tolle said, "At the deepest level of Being, we are one with all that is."

One of my wishes for the world is peace. Yep, that hippie sounding affirmation of wanting peace throughout the world. I doubt we'll see peace in the world in my own life as we've been at war for a couple of thousand years, but that simply deepens the desire to be part of the peacemaking footprint. If I wish peace for others, I know that I must first have peace within my own being. Hence, the need to explore my own inner space. Meditation, slowing down, and living with intention, contemplation, and yoga are the doorways into inner space. Over the years, I have become "better" at finding the "Hridaya", the center of who I am. At times we can become lost and the consistency of our practice is what reminds us of that connection and helps us to find that place within.

As so often is said, we begin with the breath. We breathe into our own inner space, bringing in what we need and upon exhale we release that breath into the outer space. Our earthly outer space or atmosphere is one which all beings have been sharing since the beginning of time. I know that if I can offer through my breath, my own infusion of intention, a sense of peacefulness, then each out-breath is an opportunity to offer peacefulness to the whole. Just as a prayer is sent out each time the wind passes through Tibetan prayer flags, we can do the same with our own breath. So many opportunities to explore the infinite potential for living in presence with the intention of a peaceful world.

So my birthday wish is this: May all of us touch a natural sense of peacefulness, within and without. May all of us spend time exploring our own inner being and, in doing so, recognize how it is intertwined with everything else. And may all of us be inspired by those who have gone before us, exploring both inner and outer space.

Courage

As we have just passed Martin Luther King, Jr day here in the United States, I am inspired to write about courage. When I think of Dr. King, I am reminded of the immense courage it takes to stand up for something that is calling to you from the depths of your soul. And with the current "#Me too" movement, I am also reminded of what it takes to speak out against injustice. As I draw these thoughts inward, I reflect upon my own life and find myself asking, "How have I lived courageously?". I am hardly a suppressed person as I feel I've been blessed with unlimited opportunities throughout my life. I, like so many others, have had my "#Me too" experiences, but it truly hasn't stopped me from pursuing what motivates me. I have sat on the cusp of opportunity which offers me the chance to lend my privileged voice to others.

One of my most recent exposures to feeling the fear was experienced as I undertook the Global Seva Challenge for Off the Mat, Into the World in 2012. I had all sorts of fear of not being able to raise $20,000 towards organizations rescuing and rehabilitating young girls in India who had been trafficked, and often sold, into the sex-slave trade. My fear was around failing, about appearing incapable of reaching a goal, of not having enough of "whatever" to make it happen. I felt the vulnerability of this, reached out to my community, and with their tremendous support moved forward. 

One of our first fundraising efforts was a community garage sale, held in a local parking lot. It was one of those too-early-in-the- spring-to-be-hot-days, and we were hustling and sweating and trying to raise money.  The local IHOP manager was annoyed at our presence and called the police. They were kind and allowed us to stay. At the end of the day, we then had to schlep what wasn't sold back into a storage area. I was hot, hungry, and tired as I'd been at it since before daylight, not to mention what it took to gather items a few weeks before the event. As I noticed my grumpiness, I paused and thought about some 9-year old girl in India, sold by her family into an unimaginable situation...I immediately got over myself. That's all it took. Me getting out of my own way and thinking about someone else and the opportunity I had to offer my voice to those who have none.

Sometimes, when we think about how we can serve others, whatever fear, trepidation, or harm is holding us back dissolves. It hardly seemed courageous looking back, especially upon meeting those girls in India. They were the ones with the resiliency and brave hearts. They were the ones who simply needed someone to offer them a moment of freedom and the chance at a different path. Their courage in absorbing all of this was astounding.

The word "courage" stems from the French word, "Coeur" which means heart. And when you think about it, if we are able to drop into the essence of our hearts, into the energy of love and compassion, courage is present. I had to get out of my ego-driven mind, away from my intellect and find the connection to the energy of my heart during the Seva challenge and I know that if we can drop into that space, we realize that courage is always within us, simply waiting to roar when called upon. In some ways, it's easier to shrivel than blossom. It's easier to stay with what we know instead of stepping into the scary abyss of the unfamiliar.

So my thought this week is to simply honor those courageous moments we've experienced in our lives, whether they be something that is seen on a broad community level or something like stepping into an unfamiliar yoga class for the first time. If we allow ourselves to drop into our heart space, we can hear the deeper calling of courage. My suggestion is that you trust that voice and let it guide you. 

In gratitude for all of those who have laid the footprints of inspiration for us to follow.

Personal Practice

When I first began practicing yoga, I'd show up to the class, do the practice and then leave. At the time, that seemed to be meeting what I needed and expected from attending. I wouldn't necessarily leave the class with a precious nugget that I was going to install in my next week of intentional growth. I would reflect on the class largely because of the sore or aching muscles reminding me of the previous. I saw my practice as the time I spent on my rectangular rubber mat. Yet, something somewhat buried within was asking for more...it had been beckoning for quite some time to seek something meaningful, even spiritual in life, but I was yet to discover what that calling was. Well, the call was answered during my training to become a yoga teacher. We began to look at the ancient history and philosophy that much of yoga had as its foundation and it was during this time that the switch was flipped...This is what I had been looking for! A way to connect to something deeper, yet practical, that would give me better skills at coping with my life.

It was at this time that the idea of a personal practice took root. I knew I wanted to live from a compassionate perspective as a way of being in the world, and not just when I was on the mat. In adopting a yogic lifestyle, I now see that the entire world is my yoga mat. The practice is carried within (embodied) and not defined by where it's undertaken. If you want to read more about embodiment, check out last week's blog by clicking here.

A personal practice is what we do once we leave the larger environment of the class. It's our solo journey through inner space. And it's completely personal, custom built by ourselves based on what feels right in our life in that moment. I have no idea as to what your personal practice should look like, but I can tell you what's worked for me and offer some guidance, but that's about as far as it goes. It's something that we need to uncover for ourselves and it can look completely different from someone else's practice.

This week I've been asking the questions: Do you have a personal practice? If not, do you want one? And if yes, what does it look like?

People have answered in a few different ways about what their personal practice looks like ranging from "finding present moment awareness", to "being flexible in how it can look each day", and to "making a consistent commitment to some aspect of it". Does it need to include yoga poses (asana)? I don't think so...it can, but that's not what constitutes it being a practice. It might be something as singular as being kind. Kinder to ourselves, to each other, and perhaps kinder to the planet. And if that's the case, what does that look like in practical terms? We've been repeating affirming statements that connect us to the present moment and to our practice this past week. These can be repeated if we find ourselves wanting to come back to center or having self-talk that is less than loving.

I love my body and trust its wisdom.

I'm always safe at the center of my being.

I peacefully detach from negativity.

So, if you lack clarity as to where to build a stronger personal practice, start here in the repetition of one of the above statements, slow down, and pay attention to what's happening in the present moment. Perhaps set an intention of a daily connection to it and see where it takes you.

Having come from a sports science and fitness background, I came across many people who were 23-hour couch potatoes. They'd spend an hour at the gym and be sedentary for the remainder of the day and would wonder why their health goals were seemingly out of reach. By building a personal practice, we can connect to our practice through mindfulness and intention and perhaps, begin to see the whole world as our own private yoga studio. Are you ready to begin?