Enough

Enough.

What comes to mind when you say that word out loud? For some yoga students this past week, it evoked a sense of throwing our hand up and firmly saying, "ENOUGH!" as in, enough violence, enough cyber-shopping, enough Thanksgiving leftovers! There's a part of us calling for less. I think similar things when I ponder that single word, but my intention for the week was to actually focus on "Good Enough", which feels quite different to the above meaning of saturation and switches the focus into the concept of self-worth.

The focus of this week has been reaffirming that each and every one of us doesn't need anything else. Who and what we are, what we know, and what we have is enough...as is. We don't need to reach beyond the current moment to be better than the present version of ourselves. For many years I held a belief that I didn't know enough. I had undertaken both undergraduate and graduate degrees, attended countless workshops and trainings, self-improvement weekends, and aromatherapy sessions. A part of me simply didn't trust that what I had to share with the world was sufficient and only when I had that next diploma, certificate, or degree could I be valued. I don't know what flipped the switch, but I now have a different attitude and hold the belief that what I know can impact others, even though I don't know all there is to know. I know enough and that's good enough. That's not to say that I'm not curious or interested in learning more. I am and am constantly looking for topics that pique my interest, but a sense of desperation no longer accompanies the wanting to learn. I have my own sense of what knowing enough means in being able to do what I do.

As I spoke about this idea throughout the week, a yoga student forwarded along an article that was related to this topic and mentioned the concept of the "anxious striver". The person who is constantly looking for what's next, propelled by an underlying sense of their current state as being inadequate. They move from one thing to another, dissatisfied and wary of being okay with what they have or know. And the question begs to be asked, "At what point do you know if it's enough? Do you know what enough feels and looks like?". Imagine being on your deathbed and saying, "Wait, I'm not ready as I haven't done, said, learned, earned, or loved enough!"

In some ways, I believe perfectionism plays a role in this and can be instilled in us from a young age. As a budding gymnast, a coach of mine would say, "Practice doesn't make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect." In training we had to perform 10-consecutive routines without noticeable errors, especially falling off the beam. If you were on routine #10 and fell...you had to begin again at one. Yep...it could take a long time to get through all that. And yes, it made you fight to stay on the beam and I did become a better gymnast for that, but it instilled a sense of perfectionism in me that lingers today.

Thankfully, as I've aged,  I have softened and learned to be more forgiving toward myself for being unapologetically imperfect. And it doesn't mean to stop learning, to stop being curious and just settle. It means to know that at this moment we are all that we need to be and, yes, opportunity for expansive experiences await, but we don't need to wait to do something because of feeling "not good enough" to even begin.

Have you ever thought when I...lose weight, get a job title, retire, have more vacation time, etc, I'll then do...? Let's stop here and take a deep breath. Now is the time to step fully into your own life. Embrace and celebrate all that you are right now because I'm here to share a little secret. You. Are. Enough.

Now get busy being you!

Kindness

This week in the United States was the celebration of the Thanksgiving holiday, traditionally a feast featuring turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. At least, that's the tradition that my family had as we were growing up and it has evolved into a similar tradition with my husband's side of the family over the past 20 years. Some of the dishes and faces have changed, but its essence of connecting, savoring, and slowing down has pretty much remained the same. And given the events of the past couple of weeks as I wrote about in last weeks blog (click here if you missed it), with a mass shooting and tragic wildfires in California, it feels as though this Thanksgiving may offer some much-needed space to become radically present and deeply grateful.

Each Thanksgiving holiday I've been inspired to write about gratitude, and this year, I'm taking a slightly different approach to practice gratitude in action-- kindness. It feels like an infusion of global kindness could benefit so many people suffering worldwide and I know that any time I feel the tug of my own suffering, the first place I need to retreat is within my own heart.

As with many aspects of our yoga practice, kindness begins within. As we fill up our internal kindness well, we can then spill it out of ourselves and direct it towards others. As the saying goes, if we wish for peace in the world, we ourselves must be peaceful. So if we wish to see kindness in the world, we ourselves must be kind. It's a challenge, as dwelling within everyone lives our loudest and most obnoxious critic. Our self-talk can ring deafening decibels, so much so, that we wouldn't dare speak with a friend the way we speak to ourselves. Cleaning up our internal dialogue and offering loving-kindness is a necessary first step if we wish to expand it beyond our own hearts.

The meditation practice of loving-kindness has the process of offering affirming statements, beginning with "May I...". As Sharon Salzberg teaches, this practice of "May I be safe, happy, healthy, and live with ease" are phrases we repeat for several weeks before moving the statements away from ourselves and toward others. Once again, we begin within.

Related to this is the first Yama of the eight-faceted path of yoga as written in the Sutras of Patanjali is "Ahimsa", often translated as non-violence or compassion. As we study the sutra it relates to increasing our awareness of not only being non-violent to others, but also to ourselves. We examine what choices we make on a daily basis and see if they serve us in a positive way, supporting us in becoming the best version of who we are. The questions I've been asking people in class this week are: How do you treat your physical body with kindness? Are you nourishing, moving, and resting your body from a place of self-love? Is your self-talk coming from a place of compassion? Are you treating Mother Earth with kindness and what does that look like? 

We know that awareness is key to making any changes that align us with how we wish to be living, and I hope this week, you are treating yourself and others from the place of your kind heart. I am grateful to be of service to all of you and wish you a holiday season overfilled with kindness and compassion.

Find Calm

It's been an intense week here in Southern California. It began with yet another mass shooting, however, this one touched a nerve closer to home as it happened in my hometown of Thousand Oaks. Within hours not only were these lives senselessly taken too soon, but wildfires began to roar through the same area. Two tragedies within hours of each other, affecting people not only in the local community but reaching into far corners across the country. Growing up, Thousand Oaks was a quiet town where we knew our neighbors, walked in parades together, rode bikes through neighborhoods to the park and the mall. It has been one of the safest cities in the United States and yet, gun violence found its way to this enclave. It shook me at a place that I hadn't quite experienced before which provoked a sense of anxiety within me.

This past week, we also recognized the 100th anniversary of the Armistice and marked Veteran's Day by honoring those who've served, with many giving the greatest sacrifice - their lives. As I was thinking about returning veterans, many whom suffer from PTSD, I was also drawn to thinking about others who've experienced different types of trauma, I wanted to bring the topic of mental health and yoga to the forefront, in particular, the topic of anxiety. It is well documented that PTSD is common amongst returning veterans and how yoga is a safe place to heal. And it's not only vets who can benefit from learning to down-regulate anxiety but it applies to so many of us who have faced it in a variety of forms.

Anxiety is based on fear and triggers the part of our nervous system that is to fight, flight or freeze, the sympathetic side of our nervous system. It's an evolutionary response to our own survival and is paramount for our species to thrive and propagate. In our brains, there are six centers of activation for the sympathetic nervous system, so we are programmed to be ready to respond rapidly. The challenge for us living in today's society is that we have many perceived threats that go on chronically, much longer than what we are meant to tolerate. It's as though we have this sub-current of fear, slowly gnawing away at our feeling of being safe and secure.

The sympathetic nervous system sometimes gets a bad rap, as we need it to engage in the world...to read, write, interact, and get things done. And when we have an activation of the sympathetic nervous system we also have a very real physical response to it with cascading hormones being released, muscles ready to run, blood pressure and heart rates elevating. When the threat is over, we reverse many of these physical responses and head in the calmer direction of our parasympathetic nervous system, the place of restoring and healing.  It's a bit trickier getting into the parasympathetic side of our nervous system as it has only two centers of activation, thus the process is much slower. The upshot of this is that anxiety isn't something that simply lives in your head, but is intricately woven into your physical health.

The weekend of the fires and following the shooting, I had a few moments in public when I was at the movies and wondered if where we were sitting was the safest place should a gunman come into the theater. Yep...that's what was coursing through my inner thought pattern. I was feeling anxious in a public setting which in the short term isn't a surprising response given the horrible incidents befalling my hometown. The beauty of having a yoga practice in place was the awareness that these thoughts were present. I allowed myself to feel the fear being held in my body, the tension that arose from it, and recognition that I could take a deep breath and try to let go.

I also recognize that it's okay for me to want to find safety, to be alone, to find a place within myself that was like touching home. It's okay for me to feel the full sadness of loss and violence. It's okay for me to be outraged at the lack of change or action. And mostly, it's okay for me to hold my own heart softly.

We get so much from our yoga practice that is not related to the physical side of the practice. Asking students throughout the week what they received from the non-physical side of yoga they replied: relaxation, calm, centering, comfort, community, and slowing down. It offers people a chance to be fully present and to find their breath. As I heard these responses from my own students, I was yet again reminded to let those things happen for me as well. We know that if we breathe into our belly we calm down. If we slow down our exhale, we invite ease. If we can feel where calm resides within us, we can go there when needed. 

I am especially grateful for the growing conscious community that surrounds me. I know in the deepest essence of who I am that for us to enact any sort of shift, we must begin with ourselves, pay it forward, and grow the collective consciousness to one of love, compassion, and tolerance. Sometimes the most powerful lessons are the ones that kick us in the gut first. It's been a hard week and, at the same time, I am grateful to know that I am not a solo voyager. I am grateful for all that I have learned and for the enormous love that surrounds me. Inhale four counts...exhale six. Repeat.

Hear The Whisper

As I sat in the residue of our first weekend of the Advanced Studies program on Sunday evening, I needed to create my theme for the upcoming week. I felt inspired from the weekend's workshop, but less than creative. So as I often do, I just allowed myself to sit and feel into what it is that's on my own personal horizon. I thought to myself, "Wow...so it's November already. That means this week is the mid-term elections, about two weeks away is the Thanksgiving holiday, followed by "Black Friday", "Cyber Monday" and the launch into the holiday season...the horizon is looking rather hectic!"

Thankfully, the election has passed and the bombardment of ads has become quiet. Even if you were on a news fast, it was nearly impossible to escape the campaigning with candidate's posters splattered along the roadsides, and the endless mailers arriving in the post box every day.

About a month ago, I was in a hardware store and the holiday decorations were in full display. Yep...two months away from the big Christmas holiday and they were tempting us to get things done early. I mean, really? How much stuff do we need and how much time do we need to celebrate the holiday season? Unfortunately, many people try to "survive" the holidays partly as it seems challenging to get away from that kind of bombardment as well.

Then cometh the festival of shopping...Black Friday and Cyber Monday. We're being lured to get the best deals before they're all gone and it's been made easier for us through using our desktop computers and mobile devices. It's like a spending feeding frenzy, electrifying our nervous systems as it presses into our resources of energy, time, and money.

The barrage is in full flight, with people and companies trying to grab our attention, our votes, our wallets. It seems as though this time of year is more ramped-up than usual, perhaps due to the election cycle but regardless, it's beyond easy to see why we get so distracted from the deeper meaning of life.

So my thought this week is a simple reminder to Hear The Whisper, of our inner selves. The voice that sits at the heart of who we are is always present and always has been. At times such as this, it's easy to see how the voice gets covered up with other, external stimuli. We are pulled outward and in the Northern Hemisphere, nature is asking us to pull inward as we turn toward the Winter Solstice. It's time to drop our proverbial leaves, put on our jammies, and hibernate.

At the beginning of the week, in that state between sleep and waking, I asked myself "Is there anything I need to know? Is there anything I need to remember?". And up bubbled my answer...first, "You are loved", followed by "You are love." And I thought, "Wow...thanks for the reminder!" It was as though my inner voice wanted me to know that sitting beneath all of the surface noise, beyond the distraction, that love is at the heart of everything. Pure and simple, but sometimes overridden by other things. 

This listening begins within me and hopefully, seeps out through my actions in the world. If I get quiet enough to hear my true self speak, it is more powerful than anything on the surface and is the potent reminder that the truth of my soul is not outside of me, but seeded deeply within.

So as the festive season descends upon all of us, honor that quiet whisper by giving yourself a few moments of radical presence to listen. You might be truly inspired by what you hear.

What's Your Medicine?

The thought of the week is based around a simple question. What is your medicine? Perhaps the first thing that came to mind was what prescription medications do I currently take? One definition of medicine is:

"a compound or preparation used for the treatment or prevention of disease, especially a drug or drugs taken by mouth."

However, this week I'm asking what is it that you "ingest" on a daily basis that gives you connection to the harmonious balance between body-mind-spirit? The Global Wellness Day describes being well as:

"Wellness is an active process of becoming aware of and making choices towards a healthy and fulfilling life.  It is more than being free from illness, it is a dynamic process of change and growth. A good or satisfactory condition of existence; a state characterized by health, happiness, and prosperity; welfare."

"Wellness is a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." - The World Health Organization.

Finding the key to wellness is an active pursuit, not something that simply happens to us. And in asking the question this week, it helps to elevate into our awareness the many things that contribute to creating our individual state of well-being. For me, my daily dose for the past 12+ years has come in the form of my meditation practice, supplemented by trying to live from a broad yogic perspective. It's that one thing that is completely non-negotiable and feels the same as the daily brushing of teeth...it's simply part of good health hygiene.

So when you notice when you're feeling less than optimal, there are many things that people have said are good medicine for them:

• Nature- Get outside and feel the impact of the natural environment. The sun on your shoulders, the wind tossing your hair about, the grass under your feet, or plunging your hands in the dirt. Breathe in the aromas of a pine forest or a damp desert morning.
• Ocean - Open and moving bodies of water are great medicine. Give yourself time to sit and watch the waves coming and going, or the gentle flow of a meandering river.
• Moon and Star Gazing - Head out into the night and take notice of which phase the moon is in, or perhaps the first stars to appear in the night sky.
• Music - One of the most powerful tonics is that of sound. Classical music has been shown to improve childhood development. Communities have gathered for centuries using sound and music to celebrate, mourn, and transcend.
• Pets - It's been shown that simply petting your dog or cat lowers your blood pressure. That's furry good medicine!
• Exercise - We inherently know the benefits of exercise as it's not only for our bodies but our minds with feel-good hormones getting released through movement.
• Quiet time - meditation, contemplation, sitting in silence in nature and prayer all connect us to our deeper selves.
• Reading - diving into the words of others can completely transport us into other worlds.
• Quality time with loved ones - Sitting down with a long-time friend and having uninterrupted conversation = gold!
• Essential Oils - I have my own apothecary of essential oils that I use daily. They help to activate different areas of my brain that can feel stimulating, relaxing, and grounding.
• Nourishing Home Cooked Food - Recently on retreat, we all remarked how you could taste the love in the food that was being served to us. 
• Yoga - So many tools and practices exist within this ancient wisdom tradition, that the more experienced you become, the more you uncover its magic.
• Sleep - Nothing heals the soul, heart, and body more than a restful nights sleep. Get your eight hours to boost your health.
• Humor - Laughter, whether it's a giggle or bellyaching roar is good medicine. It releases feel-good hormones and automatically puts those smiling muscles to work.

These are just a few ideas that people have been sharing throughout classes this week. Find what nourishes you and actively pursue it. In doing so, you may realize that you're surrounded by a full medicine chest of personalized, good medicine!

Dynamic Practice

As Benjamin Franklin said, "In this world nothing is certain but death and taxes". Thanks, Ben, that sounds like a real downer even if it is true. Life changes and in response to that and in relationship to our yoga practice, we must change with it. Not only is our yoga practice dynamic, but so is our life...we don't live in a static state but in the ebb and flow, like ocean tides. If we have the quiet expectation that things will remain the same or live in a state of denial that all is temporary, inevitably we will create a deeper sense of suffering for ourselves.

The focus of this week is to address how we react to the dynamic nature of our being, particularly as we age, face injury or illness, or have a major life challenge such as marriage, death, retirement, or financial uncertainty. As I contemplated this ever-evolving and often unpredictable state, two words came up: challenge and change.

When a challenge shows up in our lives, we need to change what we're doing in order to adapt to the challenge. We could do nothing, but that's likely to be a short-sighted choice. For example, if we find out we have arthritis and keep doing the same movements and eating the same foods, it's likely our pain will continue and increase. If we know we now have to be more aware and gentle to ourselves, it can lead to significant changes in our activity. We may do a bit less, or change the amount of impact across the joint, eat an anti-inflammatory diet, or use an alternative method of pain management. The "doing nothing" scenario may eventually lead us to take more drastic measures--stopping activity altogether or getting a joint replacement.

As the challenge presents itself, can we mindfully and in a compassionate way adapt what we've been doing to something that now accommodates this newer and unfamiliar state?

Although it's a bit tough to admit, since I'm a yoga/wellness/fitness professional, I've had my own challenges over the past twelve months. I irritated my knee playing pickleball, then found out instead of it being a torn meniscus, it was osteoarthritis. Subsequently, my foot (on the same side) began to have pain in the plantar fascia (sole of the foot). The result was that I needed to do something that felt uncomfortable...take a rest from one of my regular activities of road cycling. This hiatus from activity challenged the mental paradigm that has been embedded in my psyche from years of training myself and others. The one that says if you're not doing X then Y will happen...if I don't get enough cardiovascular exercise, the "10,000 steps" mantra, then I'll get out of shape, or gain weight, or develop more diseases, or have insomnia. My mental battle was more challenging than the physical one. Letting go of what I thought I needed to be doing to create space for what actually served me was challenging.

The second challenge began around the same time as I had increased levels of fatigue, which felt a lot like depression. Turns out I had a resurgence in the Epstein Barr Virus I've had for many years. During my summer hiatus, it became evident that I needed to do something a bit different as I stepped back into my "regular" world. As a result, the challenge of fatigue and inflammation in my knee and foot led me to a drastic new way of being. Now, I have a firm policy to be lights out by 10 PM and if I don't need to wake up early, I don't set an alarm. I've been allowing myself to sleep as long as needed, and at times, this has meant sleeping through my morning exercise or desk work. And so be it. Sleep became the priority. My return to better health became the priority. 

An "advanced" yogi is one who can recognize what they need on a particular day and wrap specific practices around themselves, rather than wrapping themselves around a particular practice. The dynamic nature of being human will be constant and we can evolve our awareness to match our needs to the present moment. The bottom line with all of this is to hold ourselves softly, with kindness and compassion. It's a powerful act of self-love. 

We know that things will change, are you ready to go with it?

Be Scared

The theme this week is not related to Halloween or about having the pants spooked off of us. It's about taking the plunge toward doing something that scares us. I had two of those experiences this past week.

To begin with,  I entered my very first photojournalism contest. I've been an avid photographer for the past 40 plus years and never have I entered any of my images, of which I've taken thousands, into a contest. The main reason for my hesitation is I am scared of being judged. The feelings of not being good enough, especially when compared to others runs deep, so much so, that I've avoided it until this time. And I was somewhat happy with my entry...it felt rushed and could have been better thought out, but that was my own fault for misreading the entry requirements, working on the entry from a different angle and having to hurry to put it in before the deadline. I almost didn't. I almost, once again, thought "Well...it won't win. All the others look like pros and why bother...?" But I did it anyway. I fell into the fear and thought it was a worthy hurdle to jump, so I did.

The second happened this past weekend as my small band, Jayne and The Om Boys, played a musical event (Kirtan) to mark the Autumnal Equinox and raise money for a local charity. I play harmonium and sing the lead (call) part of the music, to which everyone else sings back (the response). So I'm sitting in front of everyone and singing in public. Another moment to be completely terrified of being judged as not good enough. Thankfully, I'm supported by amazing musicians and have now been doing this for a few years so the fear is less, largely because I sense the benefit in the practice and the charitable nature is much stronger than the fear. I remember the very first time I was asked to sing mantra on my harmonium at a friend's house where she was having a meditation event. My hand was shaking as I placed it on the keyboard. I silently wondered how I would ever be able to play, but a few deep breaths and closing my eyes got me through it.

This week is about finding something that scares us (that we choose) and coming to meet it face-to-face. Solo travel? Going to the movies or out to dinner by yourself? Asking for a raise or promotion? For me, it's even deeper than just sharing photos or singing. It's about healing some of my soul story, the karma that I've carried into this lifetime and is based around my throat chakra...the place of expression and creativity. Whether you're into bringing stuff from past lives into the current one or not, I've felt that my throat has been tied up for years. I used to get laryngitis at least a couple of times each year, went through speech therapy to correct the issue and learned for the first time, that I didn't know how to use my voice. Apparently, I was shut down and unable to express myself previously as well as not being given credit for creating certain things. So I guess I'm making up for it in this lifetime...singing, chanting, public speaking, teaching, photography, choreography, and writing are all connected to the energy of my throat. 

I am trying to learn to trust this part of who I am as being whole and worthy...and that's what makes it so terrifying. The healing of past wounds can be quite uncomfortable, yet within the fear awaits magnificent potential for positive change and evolution. So try this practice on for a week and notice what scares you into almost not doing something and then see if you can look below it...why does it feel that way? I bet that once we take a good look at feeling vulnerable, we can sense that our drive to overcome it is greater than the fear itself.

Feel the fear and do it anyway. It's okay to be scared!