Find Calm

It's been an intense week here in Southern California. It began with yet another mass shooting, however, this one touched a nerve closer to home as it happened in my hometown of Thousand Oaks. Within hours not only were these lives senselessly taken too soon, but wildfires began to roar through the same area. Two tragedies within hours of each other, affecting people not only in the local community but reaching into far corners across the country. Growing up, Thousand Oaks was a quiet town where we knew our neighbors, walked in parades together, rode bikes through neighborhoods to the park and the mall. It has been one of the safest cities in the United States and yet, gun violence found its way to this enclave. It shook me at a place that I hadn't quite experienced before which provoked a sense of anxiety within me.

This past week, we also recognized the 100th anniversary of the Armistice and marked Veteran's Day by honoring those who've served, with many giving the greatest sacrifice - their lives. As I was thinking about returning veterans, many whom suffer from PTSD, I was also drawn to thinking about others who've experienced different types of trauma, I wanted to bring the topic of mental health and yoga to the forefront, in particular, the topic of anxiety. It is well documented that PTSD is common amongst returning veterans and how yoga is a safe place to heal. And it's not only vets who can benefit from learning to down-regulate anxiety but it applies to so many of us who have faced it in a variety of forms.

Anxiety is based on fear and triggers the part of our nervous system that is to fight, flight or freeze, the sympathetic side of our nervous system. It's an evolutionary response to our own survival and is paramount for our species to thrive and propagate. In our brains, there are six centers of activation for the sympathetic nervous system, so we are programmed to be ready to respond rapidly. The challenge for us living in today's society is that we have many perceived threats that go on chronically, much longer than what we are meant to tolerate. It's as though we have this sub-current of fear, slowly gnawing away at our feeling of being safe and secure.

The sympathetic nervous system sometimes gets a bad rap, as we need it to engage in the world...to read, write, interact, and get things done. And when we have an activation of the sympathetic nervous system we also have a very real physical response to it with cascading hormones being released, muscles ready to run, blood pressure and heart rates elevating. When the threat is over, we reverse many of these physical responses and head in the calmer direction of our parasympathetic nervous system, the place of restoring and healing.  It's a bit trickier getting into the parasympathetic side of our nervous system as it has only two centers of activation, thus the process is much slower. The upshot of this is that anxiety isn't something that simply lives in your head, but is intricately woven into your physical health.

The weekend of the fires and following the shooting, I had a few moments in public when I was at the movies and wondered if where we were sitting was the safest place should a gunman come into the theater. Yep...that's what was coursing through my inner thought pattern. I was feeling anxious in a public setting which in the short term isn't a surprising response given the horrible incidents befalling my hometown. The beauty of having a yoga practice in place was the awareness that these thoughts were present. I allowed myself to feel the fear being held in my body, the tension that arose from it, and recognition that I could take a deep breath and try to let go.

I also recognize that it's okay for me to want to find safety, to be alone, to find a place within myself that was like touching home. It's okay for me to feel the full sadness of loss and violence. It's okay for me to be outraged at the lack of change or action. And mostly, it's okay for me to hold my own heart softly.

We get so much from our yoga practice that is not related to the physical side of the practice. Asking students throughout the week what they received from the non-physical side of yoga they replied: relaxation, calm, centering, comfort, community, and slowing down. It offers people a chance to be fully present and to find their breath. As I heard these responses from my own students, I was yet again reminded to let those things happen for me as well. We know that if we breathe into our belly we calm down. If we slow down our exhale, we invite ease. If we can feel where calm resides within us, we can go there when needed. 

I am especially grateful for the growing conscious community that surrounds me. I know in the deepest essence of who I am that for us to enact any sort of shift, we must begin with ourselves, pay it forward, and grow the collective consciousness to one of love, compassion, and tolerance. Sometimes the most powerful lessons are the ones that kick us in the gut first. It's been a hard week and, at the same time, I am grateful to know that I am not a solo voyager. I am grateful for all that I have learned and for the enormous love that surrounds me. Inhale four counts...exhale six. Repeat.