Not Knowing

Do you ever feel as though you have many balls in the air without a clue as to where they might land? It's been feeling a bit like that for me over the past few months with many opportunities for change and transition yet without many answers as to what that will actually look like. 

My husband and I have decided that as much as we love our house, it's time for us to downsize. We put the house on the market back in November and, thus far, haven't had any bites. People ask us, "Where are you moving to? What are you going to do?" to which we reply, "We don't know...it depends on when the house sells." Before we can take the step toward what's next, we need to sell the house. This week's thought is definitely connected to my blog from two weeks ago, "What's Next? What's Now?" (click here if you missed it) yet differs slightly in that throughout most of our lives, we have many things we want answers to, yet those answers don't arrive when we want them.

On a personal level, we have the not knowing regarding my Mother who has dementia. She is in a care facility as she's unable to tend to her own needs. She'll be turning 87-years old in June and we don't know how much longer she'll be with us. It might be another 10 years and we have to envision the scenario where her financial status will support her throughout her entire life, even though we have no idea how long that will be. We just don't know. And in a sense, it's not a different question that all of us ask at some time during our life..."How long will I live? When will I die?" and since we aren't particularly good at talking about it as a culture, we shove it to the back-burner of our consciousness and let it sit there until something prompts it forward, such as coming more directly to it through my own Mother's situation.

Less dramatic examples are things such as waiting to hear about college acceptance or landing a job. Here in the States, the end of March is when graduating students find out where they've been accepted into college. Most of them apply to schools beginning in November/December and have been waiting until now to find out where they'll be spending their collegiate days. They've had to wait...not knowing. Ever had that job interview where they say, "We'll get back to you?" and for however long it may be before they do or don't, can feel like an excruciating eternity.

One of the biggest challenges we have is feeling comfortable with being uncomfortable, with not knowing what will happen. It is said that part of our spiritual journey and growth is to learn how to find ease in the discomfort of our own lives. If we find ourselves building scenarios about what could possibly happen, writing the script for the unknown and it begins to generate anxiety, this is the opportunity for us to simply notice what's happening. At first, it might be a flutter in the belly or tension in the jaw. The subtle signs in our body can be the clues for us to recognize when you've launched ourselves into an unknown and only imagined future and to return to the present moment. 

Let us remember the human condition of wanting to have answers even when they have yet to manifest. Let us work within our practices of yoga, meditation, and contemplation to wrangle these futuristic fantasies back and recognize the perfection of the here and now.

One way...take a deep breath and fully absorb your current moment. What we know for certain is the here and now. Enjoy being right where you are and let the rest unfold!