Judgment

It was over 20 years ago that I first saw Deepak Chopra speak. It was at a gig in Melbourne. I went alone and remember having a seat that was fairly high up in the auditorium. Much of what he was talking about went way over my head...quantum physics and the like. However, one thing he said then was a true nugget for me and has stuck with me over the years. It spoke of finding the gap between our thoughts. At the time, I thought "there is no gap between my thoughts...what is he talking about." He said that within the gap is where insight happens...and that had me hooked. Of course, now I know more about what he was talking about as I have a steady meditation practice which allows me to know that gaps exist. How much time I'm able to actually stay there is a whole other thing, but I know it to exist.

This past weekend, Deepak was a key presenter at Bhakti Fest. It was his first visit to the high desert festival on its 10th anniversary. I sat in on three of his sessions and was treated to another nugget...some 20+ years later. He said that a key aim of our yoga practice is to be able to "observe ourselves, without judging ourselves." By doing this we are led to Moksha, often translated as freedom. When we can drop into that inner space of self-reflection and inquiry, we begin to release the entanglement to our thoughts and get to know the truth of who we really are. As he spoke, this particular thought felt as though he had just thrown me another nugget. I'm hoping that it won't be another 20+ years until the next one, but this one is a great thought for the week.

We have a given. We're human. We're judgmental. It's our nature and, deepened through conditioning, we toss judgment at not only at others but ourselves as well, often in a more harsh and stinging way. I don't know of many people that upon awakening, look in the mirror, beam and exclaim "Well, good morning Sunshine!" We are sold on the myth that something in us is broken and needs improving. We are sold on the belief that we need to change who we are as what we are isn't enough. Whether we are "sold" on these notions or we are programmed to have a negative bias are ideas that can be debated. Nonetheless, as I explore this path, I'm trying to re-frame that thinking to remembering that who and what I am is enough. I just need to get away from distractions in order to listen to my inner wisdom. It all sounds so simple, and yet, it is an amazing challenge.

I am also struck when people make comments about somebody being "good" at yoga. They may be talking about a person's ability to strike a pose that so many of us would never even get close to doing. I like to say that nobody is good or bad at yoga. We all practice yoga, and where the practice takes us is to those places where we are deeply challenged. Some things come more easily to some people and others may find the identical thing to be difficult. An example of this is I can do a handstand, all by myself, in just about any location with a somewhat level surface. I have been turning myself upside down ever since I can remember, and being inverted and viewing the world from that perspective feels comfortable to me and is "easy".  Now, if I did a handstand in the middle of a class, some people might look at it and think, "wow...she's really good at yoga" and I get that. What many people might miss are the things that are hard for me. The physical element of yoga has always been the easiest part of the practice for me. Quieting my mind, finding stillness, self-love, and acceptance has been hard. I stepped onto my yoga mat with none of those abilities and realized that I needed something beyond the physical practice. So my being "good" at yoga is a myth...I practice what I need to remember the most, what is the least accessible and that's the path of going inward.

So, as we release the judgment piece of the practice, we step into greater presence and curiosity. As Walt Whitman said, "Be curious, not judgmental". This past week, I've been encouraging students to watch how often self-judgment arises and to notice what may have triggered it. And then, to get deeply inquisitive about what's happening in the experience and see if we can adopt the observer role with an open heart, rather than the role of judge.