Clutter

So there I was, standing in REI (an outdoor adventure store) during their end-of-season sale, holding up two long-sleeve, lightweight, cycling jerseys. With REI being a favorite place of mine to shop and having a huge sale, I set an intention prior to going into the store that what I needed was a long-sleeve jersey...and there they were! An entire rack with different colors in my size; it was like hitting the jackpot. As I contemplated which ones to purchase, I also remembered a larger intention of bringing only what I love and need into my life. I considered buying two, justifying why it was a great idea: on sale, "just what I was looking for", "likely to wear them both over time"...and in that moment I caught myself in the same loop of inner-dialogue and having the awareness to say, "I only need one". I grit my teeth and returned one onto the rack and headed straight for the check-out line. Phew...that was truly a challenge!

My draw toward simplifying and downsizing all started in earnest about three years ago having read Marie Kondo's book (The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of De-Cluttering and Organizing). It was a required reading as part of some advanced studies I was undertaking, and it opened the door to a deeper knowing that, for years, I wanted to have less stuff in my life. Over time, I have been led to undertaking a course called, "Simple Year" offered by Courtney Carver which focuses on 12 months of guided simplicity. I have also been inspired by the "Slow Living" approach to life and enjoy the Slow Home Podcast by Brooke and Ben McAlaray. 

Why the attraction to this slower and "with less" way of being? 

One of the life-intentions I have is to live in a compassionate and open-hearted way, part of which is reflected in the dedication I have to live life from a yogic perspective. An overarching tenet is conscious living, which includes conscious consumerism. I want to live a life of meaning and connection, one that has a focus more on having experiences rather than having stuff. As I explore ways to live this intention, part of the process takes a hard look at my relationship to the physical and mental clutter residing in my life. It's a common thought that having more than we need can feel heavy and block the flow of energy. We can be consumed by our consumerism and overwhelmed by all that surrounds us. It's an ongoing cycle of working hard to look after all the stuff we've accumulated and think we desire. We earn money to maintain our lifestyle, keeping up with social norms and striving for more and more. We are indoctrinated that who we are and what we have isn't enough and in order to make ourselves complete, we are encouraged and praised for more striving and acquisition of possessions, knowledge, and status. 

Having been raised by a pack-rat, the behavior that was modeled was frugality and not throwing things away. We were raised without extravagance, with new clothes and toys reserved for special occasions. It was a practical approach that you wore something until either it wore out or you outgrew it. And what we did have we held onto, so I was never shown what a clutter-free environment looked like as we were taught to not throw things away. Once I found some financial independence later in life, it felt like I had been liberated from frugality and I could buy pretty much whatever I wanted. Mind you, I am still not an extravagant person but have not felt limited in what I can say "yes" to. The downside of that has been an over-compensation of too much stuff and has ultimately led me to this current attempt at living with less.

My thought this week is that I could have a part two about the topic of clutter but I will offer this for the time being: Where in your life do you notice stagnant energy? Where do you feel overwhelmed? Is it in the physical presence of things (you walk into a room and feel consumed by too much to organize), is it the amount of electronic clutter that comes to your daily inbox, or is it releasing mental or emotional clutter? This week we have been trying to open up the sense of spaciousness within our own beings and noticing what it feels like to be open and empty. We so often feel as though something is missing and attempt to fill it up but is it possible to simply be at ease with what is?

Hmmmm...like I said, this is very much a challenge for me. With my efforts, I'm beginning to feel lighter, more focused, optimistic, and connected to that part of me that has been dormant. The part that knows that I am enough and have enough. So be it.