All At Once

The past two weeks have been intense: we were delayed in Australia six hours for our return flight to the States; the morning after we arrived home, my Mom went to the emergency room; a tree fell across my sister's driveway blocking access to her house; a good friend's Mom had passed away; another friend had to put their dog down and finally, I got a notice saying my insurance had been canceled due to a missed payment. WHAT?! It felt like everything was happening all at once, with just enough gathered momentum to create a feeling of overwhelm. I know that if this had happened 25-years ago, I would've gotten through it but been a hot mess in the process. I never knew that when I first stepped onto my yoga mat that it would prepare me for the ups and downs of daily living but it has, and for that I am grateful.

We expect things to happen in life, big and sometimes intense challenges, but when they stack up in short succession it can be enough to push us over the edge. Our practice can support us in finding what we need to do to keep from submerging. It may get rocky, but we don't capsize as easily. And when life is full of challenges, we are often pulled outward into the chaos. We focus on details of events, begin to project into the future and create stories around the unfolding drama. Yet we know that when we become established in our yoga practice, we remember one of the things it has taught us is to go inside, rather than out.

One practice we've been undertaking in classes throughout the week is related to BRFWA-Breathe, Relax, Feel, Watch and Allow. This is a process that supports us in connecting into the experience and turning our awareness inward so we have an opportunity to dissipate any tension that has a tendency to accumulate when an intense situation arises. Here's a simplified explanation of the practice:

Breathe - See if you can connect to what's happening to your breath in the present moment. Are you able to slow it down? Deepen it? Can you breathe in a way that's even and rhythmical, in and out through the nose?

Relax - During intense situations, we often subconsciously prepare ourselves to fight, flight or freeze which primes the sympathetic aspect of our nervous system. We might notice our shoulders, jaw, chest, fists or belly tightening. Can you notice the tension and relax it?

Feel - All of our emotional experiences are filtered through our physical body. If we ignore, tamp down, or turn away from the emotion it simply hangs out in the tissues until it's addressed. The saying "the issues are held in the tissues" applies here. So as the experience is happening, can you notice where in the body you feel it? Can you describe the feeling?

Watch - As we are finding the breath, trying to relax, and noticing where our tension is held, this part of the process asks us to simply watch, without judgment, the experience. Almost as though we are witnessing it from outside of ourselves.

Allow - Once we've tapped into the experience, we allow it to be acknowledged for what it is. Here we accept what's presently happening.

The beauty of this practice is that it gives us a method for dissipating the energy of intense situations. And the tricky part is that we need to practice doing so BEFORE the intense situations happen. And that's one of the reasons we come to the mat...to practice finding equanimity in the midst of challenging moments. Our asana practice encourages us to be in these situations. Imagine you're doing a pose that really challenges you. Can you find your breath? Relax the parts of the body that aren't needed to do the pose? Feel where the sensations are centered inside your body? Watch the experience and let go of judging yourself? Allow a sense of presence and ease as the intensity builds? It's the same for both physical and emotional difficulties but we need to practice the experience on all levels.

It's ineffective to ask someone in the middle of a crisis to "take a deep breath and relax" if they've never done so before that moment. We come to the mat to practice finding ease when things get challenging so that when everything happens all at once, we have a way of getting through and being with it, perhaps even with a smile on our face!