Acceptance

It's hard to remember the intensity of the emotional states that I went through in the process of opening up my own yoga studio. It took three months to look for the "right" location, then another two months transforming and renovating the space. Of course, I had this insane idea that everything needed to be just right before we opened. And in holding to this, I began to notice my stress levels rise higher than usual. I remember saying out loud, "You are doing the best that you can, for where you are in this moment". This statement is one that I've spoken about previously and thank goodness it's embedded somewhere within me, as it truly needed to be resurrected during this time.

It's also a useful statement when we are in a relationship with someone who isn't quite meeting our needs. Perhaps we feel anger or frustration at a result or connection that isn't what we are quite wanting. If we can say from our hearts, perhaps silently in conjunction with a deep breath, "they are doing the best they can for where they are currently in this moment" it may begin to offer a shift in our relationship to them. It won't likely change them, but our own relationship to them. When I use this statement, I almost immediately begin to feel the sharp corners of the situation begin to soften. It's as though the edge is being taken off, leading me toward acceptance and away from a negative state. It leads me closer toward a more loving frame of mind, a place of connection rather than separation.

All week I've been reading a quote from Brené Brown, a Research Professor at the University of Houston Graduate College of Social Work, whose books include: The Gifts of Imperfection and Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. The line that cuts straight into me is: 

"Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them - we can only love others as much as we love ourselves."

We can only love others as much as we love ourselves...ouch.

Think about that for a moment. What Brené is saying is how we go about loving others is based on our own self-talk, self-worth, self-love. To build this love connection to self and others, we must first accept who we are in this very moment, rather than thinking that we need to be showing up in a different way. Swami Kripalvanandji was heard to say, "My beloved child, break your heart no longer. Each time you judge yourself, you break your own heart." 

This very statement is one of accepting ourselves from a place of kindness and, once again, we are reminded that our yoga practice is one that begins within. Instead of looking outside of ourselves to find our worth, or to be validated, loved or appreciated by others, we must turn inward rather than outward. 

If I wish to be loved and accepted by others, I must recognize that I need to dig deep into my own soil, nourish it with self-care and show myself compassion. Otherwise, I limit my own capacity to be the recipient of love and my ability to share it with others. Ultimately, what I wish for myself -- love, ease, peace, acceptance is what I wish for all beings everywhere.

My thought for this week is to remind ourselves to be kind and accepting of our perfectly imperfect selves so we may do the same to others...break your heart no longer.