What's Your Default Setting?

This week my thought has been inspired by the celebration of His Holiness the Dalai Lama's 80th birthday. From the first moment I heard him speak in Melbourne, Australia close to 20 years ago, the word compassion is what I think of when I hear his name. He is the living embodiment of what compassion in action truly looks like. Through his own life's struggles, he is still able to come from a place of love. How does someone do that, particularly when they've seen violence against their country and have been living in exile since 1959?

I believe part of the reason has been the commitment to his practice for a very long time. If you consider this is his 14th incarnation and he's now 80, he's had many lifetimes to refine his practice. In addition, all the stories that are recounted from people who've met him say the same thing: He really sees people as being no different from each other. He offers love, eye contact, sincerity and laughs easily. One aspiration I hold is to emulate even a fraction of what he displays...so my practice continues, day after day, just as his practice has been embedded within him for countless years.

A few weeks ago, my husband Ed and I were attending the Palm Springs International ShortFest. As we were sliding into our seats in a packed theater, we had to navigate past two seated women. I shuffle into the row and sit a couple of seats away, followed by Ed. The next thing I hear is "OW!" by one of the women, with Ed replying, "sorry!". I didn't hear the next reply from the offended woman, but only heard Ed say, "Well, what would  you  like  me to do?". He then sat down next to me, a bit fired up and told me that the woman said, "Sorry isn't going to cut it!"

Following the films we were discussing how it was that the woman's default comeback was, "sorry isn't going to cut it"...where does that thought originate.? My reflection was that she obviously is suffering in some way and over the years has tread a path that isn't reflective of love, compassion or her higher self. If she should hold any desire to change, she's got some work to do. Now imagine if the person sitting in the same seat was HH the Dalai Lama. What would his response be? My guess is that it would have moved to his default reaction of finding love and compassion for his bumped foot and for the bumper of the foot.

One human characteristic is that we fall into the same patterns of behavior, some which serve us (such as our yoga practice) and some that don't (such as getting angry in public with little provocation). When we are acting from a place that isn't coming from our higher selves, it can seem as though we have no choice in the matter..."that's just who I am". Yet if an opportunity arises for us to pause, we begin to see that we actually have a choice in our behavior. The big challenge however is to find the pause and to do so, we need to slow down. Our lives are so often buzzing around us that it all becomes a blur. How can we possibly recognize the opportunities to act differently?

Stepping onto our mats, sitting our backsides on a meditation cushion, study of the wisdom traditions and being surrounded by people who support positive behavior are ways in which we can begin to slow down the spinning cycle. It sounds incredibly easy, yet this can be a lifelong practice. Begin by recognizing all the things that you do that are supportive of how you want to be in the world and keep doing them. Check out of the stuff that drags you down and puts you back onto the hamster wheel of self-destruction rather than self-realization. And listen to that powerful internal voice and feeling in the gut about your actions and their ripple effects. We all have an ability to make a difference not only in our own lives, but in the lives of others.

I bow deeply in gratitude to have such an example as HH the Dalai Lama. If he can do it, we too can take our own baby steps toward emulating him. Happy birthday His Holiness!