Where's Your Spotlight?

In this very moment, my mind is focused on what I'm doing.  I'm at my desk and in the process of writing my weekly blog. Occasionally, my mind drifts away to sounds from the TV in an adjacent room but for the most part, I am here.

At other times throughout my day, I have this roving spotlight of attention.  Sometimes it's completely centered on what I'm doing, particularly when I'm in the flow of teaching a class.  At other times, I'm thinking about an unpleasant episode that happened at work or worrying about how my Mother is getting along, or wondering if we will ever find peace in the world.

Our minds wander and, like a ping pong ball, our attention tends to bounce around.  This is normal...our minds think, just as our hearts beat.  My thought for the week is around how you feel when you hold your attention on a particular thought, when you shine your spotlight onto it, how does it feel in your gut?

I know that before I began deepening my personal practice through daily meditation, my spotlight could become fixated on thoughts that were often contrary to being in a good place.  I'd focus on what might happen, what this or that person might think, say or do and it was destructive.  If the spotlight stayed for extended periods of time, my mood would swing toward despair or depression.  It's not as though this doesn't still happen.  It does. 

But what has shifted is my recognition that it's happening and that in that moment, I find my breath and ask myself, "what might help you shift your perspective in this moment?  What is the lesson that is before me?  Am I stepping into an old pattern?"  

When we realize where we focus our attention and energy, we begin to uncover the connection to how it feels-not just emotionally, but physically.  When I notice my attention is on the negative, grumpy, complaining or comparing aspect of life, my jaw clenches, my shoulders tighten and I furrow my brow.  I'm in a state that feels lousy, not led by love and compassion.  When I direct my energy into those many things that connect me to my higher self, I physically feel lighter and less burdened.

One way to notice where your spotlight is pointing is to catch yourself complaining.  Can you go for 30 minutes, one hour, or a whole day without complaining?  If this is difficult, it might be a clue as to your M.O. and offer an "a-ha" moment to either turn that spotlight off or onto something that actually feels good in your belly.

Both extremes of the continuum exist at the same time.  When there are negative feelings, positive feelings are also present.  Yet, we bury them so deeply beneath the negativity, it can take practice to dig them out.  And hence, why this is all called a yoga practice. We need to keep at it on a regular basis and surround ourselves with people who offer good vibes, positive comments and an optimistic life perspective.

We are all worthy of shining our light brightly...just try to shine it on the stuff that feeds rather than starves your soul.