Get Comfortable

Have you ever had the experience of walking into a dinner party, yoga class or social gathering and seeing someone you've been trying to avoid?  You sit yourself at the furthest point away from the person, perhaps avoid eye contact, or roll out your mat next to someone who you love chatting to.  It's human nature.  We move away from things that make us squirm and move toward things that make us feel comfortable, whether it be people, situations or facing thoughts such as grief.

One of the underlying principles of Buddhism is that all beings suffer.  As we come to realize this as truth, we can begin to move away from the suffering by becoming more comfortable with the idea that it may still be present.  In other words, given that suffering is present, can we alter how we react in the face of what makes us uncomfortable?

This is definitely part of many yoga practices.  Just think of how many times the instructor has put in that double pigeon hip opening pose on the day when you'd rather simply ignore your hips.  The teacher gently coaxes you towards making friends with your hips, yet your hips would rather be walking out the door.  How do we find ease when our physical body is telling us that it would rather take a nap than be uncomfortable?  Or when you're sitting in a peaceful meditation and a leaf blower begins roaring outside your window.

We become more comfortable with the uncomfortable by simply acknowledging that we're uncomfortable.  Then we surrender.  By letting go of the associated tension that comes with the unwanted, we begin to offer a space for potential ease.  We connect to a slow calm breath.  We notice if we've transmitted tension to some other part of our body away from where the main thrust of the pose is occurring.  We invite ease by opening the pathway to do so, rather than turning in the opposite direction and running away from it.

When we start to find more ease through what physically challenges us, we hold the potential to find more ease in what emotionally challenges us.  Grief is a great example of this practice.  When we have a loss in our lives, whether it be someone we loved, a job that held our identity or a relationship coming to an end, we turn toward many mechanisms to ease the pain.  Drugs, denial, isolation, anger and overindulgence are examples of trying to side step suffering.  When we begin to realize that we are in the process of grief we can begin to offer ourselves choices of how we might react.

Much of this begins with showing compassion for ourselves in our loss.  To understand that our grief can be expressed in many ways and through the journey of learning to deal with our loss, we need to hold ourselves gently.  It's giving ourselves permission to simply grieve and to perhaps communicate to others that this is how it's manifesting itself.

By stepping onto our mats, or off our mats into the world of the unknown, we can practice becoming more comfortable with the unfamiliar and uncomfortable challenges we face.  Being on your yoga mat is a great place to start this practice.  All you need to do is to roll out your mat, kick off your shoes and step on.

Off you go...