Be Kind

The wide open road was before us, feeling as though we were often the only people on earth. We were driving across the Top End of Australia, from Broome in Western Australia to Darwin in the Northern Territory. This was our big Australian adventure before moving back to live in the United States. Ed and I hired a 4WD for the trek and, fairly early on, we thought we had switched on our supplemental fuel tank but a little while later...chug, chug, chug we came to a gentle halt alongside the road. It was the wet season, which translates as the low tourist season, so very few people were traveling and my mind tried to qualm the rising uneasiness that it might be a while before any help arrived, not that we had any way of calling for such help being in such a remote part of the country.

As good fortune would have it, a few kilometers back, we had passed a pickup truck filled with local aboriginals who, seeing us stopped on the side of the road in a most unintended looking way, pulled over to help us. The bonnet (hood) was up with Ed and an aboriginal guy peering into the engine as I sat in the passenger seat thumbing through the owners manual. At about the same time, we all realized we hadn't "primed" the supp tank and once we did we were able to be on our way.

We thanked and waved goodbye to our road angels and had an amazing journey without any other troubles. Unconditional kindness from total strangers.

This story came to mind as sometimes I sit on a Sunday afternoon lacking inspiration for what I'd like as a theme for the upcoming week. This past Sunday just happened to be one of those days. So I sat with it for a bit, trying to be okay in not knowing and hoping for divine inspiration. Often when I'm not sure as what to write about, I simply allow myself to recall the previous week's conversations and see if anything floats to the surface. And sure enough...it did. I was motivated to return to some level of simplicity, a theme that perhaps I'd touched upon before so here it is...be kind.

You may have heard the saying, "We can be anything. How about we be kind?". I loved that when I first saw this quote, a part of me thought about the childhood notion that I could be anything, so why not become an astronaut, or a famous actor, or a professional athlete? It didn't even pop into my head that being was a state of mind rather than becoming something that you weren't yet. I can be kind in the here and now without having to study astrophysics, acting or practicing for hours a day on my tennis serve. And if I can adopt the attitude of kindness towards myself, I have an opportunity to soften the inner critic and move more toward self-care and self-love.

Another dimension of this thought is: what does it feel like to be the recipient of kindness? When I think about the above story, not only did our roadside helpers get us out of a sticky and potentially dangerous situation (being stranded in the middle of nowhere for how long??) but I was, and still am, filled with tremendous gratitude. So much so, that their act of unconditional kindness has become one of the stories of my life...that's how powerful an impact it had.  I know that all of us have been on the receiving end of such acts of kindness, likely from complete strangers who see our suffering and reach out their hand to offer support.

When we know what receiving kindness feels like, when we act in a way that is kind towards ourselves, it creates this natural reaction when we see the suffering of others. Compassion means to "suffer with", so when we can identify it in another, we act without hesitation on their behalf.

I needed this "be kind" reminder this week and, given the reaction to students in classes, so did others. In a world filled with nasty rhetoric and negative discourse, a dose of kindness can feel like a balm on cracked skin. I am not only reminding myself and others to be kind to ourselves but to be impeccable with our word and to feel the beauty of receiving random acts of kindness from others. You just never know what ripple you're creating when you propagate this energy. It may just carry such impact that it ends up in someone's future blog!

Synergy

Definition of Synergy:
"A state in which two or more things work together in a particularly fruitful way that produces an effect greater than the sum of their individual effects. Expressed also as "the whole is greater than the sum of its parts." 


It may not seem obvious to others that I'm quite an introvert, given that I have been in front of people teaching a variety of classes for the past 36 years. I stand at the front of the class, trying to appear confident whilst projecting a sense of connection to those who are present. That energy moving outwards seems quite extroverted, which it is, but my preference in working is more like one of isolation and solitude. Over the years I have realized how I like to turn inward, particularly in a creative process. 

However, my experience has been gifted a different perspective as I have undertaken the practice of Kirtan and forming our small band, Jayne and The Om Boys. This past weekend we had a Kirtan at my studio, Desert Yoga Therapy, and not only did we raise over $1100 for The Find Food Bank (which equates to over 7700 meals!), but we had a fantastic gathering of people. As the music ended, James (one of the Om Boys) said to me, "This is the first time the wall has come down between us and them..." to which I completely agreed. The invisible curtain between "performer" and "audience" disappeared as we all merged our collective energies for the evening. People were not only singing and clapping along but danced and enjoyed many moments of zen. It truly was a touch of magic!

Now, if only I could just bring my harmonium along and sit down and sing...that might be lovely. But all alone I am not capable of generating the energy we experienced during Saturday night's Kirtan. It was the synergy of the individual parts that made it wonderful. The adding of trained and talented musicians, who push me to be better than I am, made it bigger and better than I could ever be on my own. And since I spend so much creative time inside my own bubble, stepping into collaboration feels like a new awakening. It's true when I tell others that I enjoy rehearsing with the Om Boys as much, if not more, than playing before a crowd. They have elevated me to a place I have never experienced and I have such gratitude for their commitment and energy.

So, I ran with this synergy theme throughout classes this week and, in doing so, applied it to how we create a greater effect on our practices. If you have a regular meditation practice, that's awesome. If you practice mindfulness throughout the day, that too is terrific. But what happens when you not only have a disciplined meditation practice but pay attention to what's happening in your current experience (i.e. mindfulness)? The marriage of these two similar yet different practices increases the connection to how we are present and show up in our daily lives. If you're wanting to deepen your practice but feel time-compressed, how about exploring your present experience by really paying attention to what's happening. This can be applied to any activity of daily living: folding laundry, doing the dishes, driving, eating, exercising. As my teacher says, "Become a better uni-tasker", that is, focus on what you're doing rather than mindlessly running through your day. It's been shown that nobody truly is a multi-tasker but rather someone who does a few different things within quick succession of each other. Try this on as a practice...slow down and pay attention. Feel your experience. Hear the sounds of what's happening. Become better at being in your experience than simply doing what needs to be done. 

As we develop the skill of mindfulness, our ability to become non-reactive improves. Instead of being quickly triggered, we see things for what they are and can "hold space" during that time. People who are well practiced in meditation and mindfulness are not the people running around in a state of panic. 

My thought of the week is to encourage all of us to find someone or something that makes us grow, something that creates a bigger whole. I think we all seek a creative and playful outlet and finding inspiring collaborators will do the trick. Step out of your zone of comfort, explore who brings out the best in you, and enfold it into your personal practices of being more mindful and perhaps sitting for a few minutes each day in meditation.

The whole is bigger than the sum of its individual parts. Let it be BIG!

Remember

The inspiration this week was triggered by two things: Memorial Day and a Celebration of Life gathering. Here in the United States, Memorial Day is dedicated to the remembrance of those who've lost their life in service to the country. We pause, remember and say thank you for your service. This long-weekend coincided with a Celebration of Life event for our friend, tennis player, and member of our yoga tribe Mona Van Linge Redmond. Coming so close together, the impetus to pause and remember was powerful.

I was honored to be able to speak at Mona's gathering. We were tightly packed into a friend's house, literally shouldering our grief in a collective atmosphere. It was simply beautiful to hear the stories and recollections of someone who lived life with great zest. Mona was not only deeply curious and a perpetual student, she was feisty and funny. She had a long career as an educator, so when she came to me only a few months after first stepping onto her yoga mat and asked if she could undertake an upcoming teacher training, I realized she had the skills of teaching and simply needed to deepen her knowledge. She was so keen to share and so motivated to dig deeply, not only into her own practice but into the massive volumes of yoga knowledge.

Shortly after graduating from the training program, I hired her to teach to employees within the hospital program that I had been managing. And they loved her. What they loved was her ability to adapt the practice of yoga to any body. Mona understood this on a personal level as she would joke about having the most props in the room when she would practice, almost creating a fortress of props around her mat. She had stiff wrists, inflexible hamstrings, and tight hip flexors. But what she lacked in flexibility, she made up for in heart. It didn't phase her to use a block (or two) to create a sensation within a pose. She had nothing to prove, only an experience to be had. She taught to the most unlikely looking yoga practitioners and brought her love of it to them. Her enthusiasm was contagious and she ended up creating a course for employees into an on-going class. She was working her Mona magic.

Throughout this time, she also had been diagnosed with cancer, but that didn't dampen anything. If anything, it ignited a sense of deeper purpose. Throughout the ups and downs of treatment, she kept coming back to her mat, whether she had a full head of hair or not. She saw it as a way of being, as a refuge and dove deeply into her own practice when things got rocky. I was lucky to have taught her about Restorative yoga last December. She was ready to share this with others, to continue adding volume to what she knew, and to use it to support her own journey. Looking back, she was not only inquisitive throughout the intensive training but supportive of others participating.

Shortly after she passed away, I was at a yoga festival in the high desert near Joshua Tree. I had just completed a practice, was lying in savasana (the final relaxation pose), and being bathed in the sound of crystal bowls and gongs. During this deep state of relaxation, I had this incredible experience. I saw rising up above me, a massive field of light, a kaleidoscope of energy and immediately thought "Mona!". In the light that I knew was her, she sent me a silent message that all was well, as if saying to me, "Jayne, look how huge I am now that I'm no longer confined to my body! This is amazing!". The message was one of comfort and a deep sense that she was free of any limitations that may have been present in physical, human form. I left the class knowing I needed to share this message and so I did, at Mona's celebration of life.

My thought of the week is to not only remember those who've left their body and the magical moments they have gifted us with but to remember that we are not just our bodies but so much more, so much bigger, with infinite potential. I am humbled by my angel friend, Mona, now in light form, who was my teacher, reminding me to come back into my own light.

I remember and I am forever grateful.

Clutter

So there I was, standing in REI (an outdoor adventure store) during their end-of-season sale, holding up two long-sleeve, lightweight, cycling jerseys. With REI being a favorite place of mine to shop and having a huge sale, I set an intention prior to going into the store that what I needed was a long-sleeve jersey...and there they were! An entire rack with different colors in my size; it was like hitting the jackpot. As I contemplated which ones to purchase, I also remembered a larger intention of bringing only what I love and need into my life. I considered buying two, justifying why it was a great idea: on sale, "just what I was looking for", "likely to wear them both over time"...and in that moment I caught myself in the same loop of inner-dialogue and having the awareness to say, "I only need one". I grit my teeth and returned one onto the rack and headed straight for the check-out line. Phew...that was truly a challenge!

My draw toward simplifying and downsizing all started in earnest about three years ago having read Marie Kondo's book (The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up: The Japanese Art of De-Cluttering and Organizing). It was a required reading as part of some advanced studies I was undertaking, and it opened the door to a deeper knowing that, for years, I wanted to have less stuff in my life. Over time, I have been led to undertaking a course called, "Simple Year" offered by Courtney Carver which focuses on 12 months of guided simplicity. I have also been inspired by the "Slow Living" approach to life and enjoy the Slow Home Podcast by Brooke and Ben McAlaray. 

Why the attraction to this slower and "with less" way of being? 

One of the life-intentions I have is to live in a compassionate and open-hearted way, part of which is reflected in the dedication I have to live life from a yogic perspective. An overarching tenet is conscious living, which includes conscious consumerism. I want to live a life of meaning and connection, one that has a focus more on having experiences rather than having stuff. As I explore ways to live this intention, part of the process takes a hard look at my relationship to the physical and mental clutter residing in my life. It's a common thought that having more than we need can feel heavy and block the flow of energy. We can be consumed by our consumerism and overwhelmed by all that surrounds us. It's an ongoing cycle of working hard to look after all the stuff we've accumulated and think we desire. We earn money to maintain our lifestyle, keeping up with social norms and striving for more and more. We are indoctrinated that who we are and what we have isn't enough and in order to make ourselves complete, we are encouraged and praised for more striving and acquisition of possessions, knowledge, and status. 

Having been raised by a pack-rat, the behavior that was modeled was frugality and not throwing things away. We were raised without extravagance, with new clothes and toys reserved for special occasions. It was a practical approach that you wore something until either it wore out or you outgrew it. And what we did have we held onto, so I was never shown what a clutter-free environment looked like as we were taught to not throw things away. Once I found some financial independence later in life, it felt like I had been liberated from frugality and I could buy pretty much whatever I wanted. Mind you, I am still not an extravagant person but have not felt limited in what I can say "yes" to. The downside of that has been an over-compensation of too much stuff and has ultimately led me to this current attempt at living with less.

My thought this week is that I could have a part two about the topic of clutter but I will offer this for the time being: Where in your life do you notice stagnant energy? Where do you feel overwhelmed? Is it in the physical presence of things (you walk into a room and feel consumed by too much to organize), is it the amount of electronic clutter that comes to your daily inbox, or is it releasing mental or emotional clutter? This week we have been trying to open up the sense of spaciousness within our own beings and noticing what it feels like to be open and empty. We so often feel as though something is missing and attempt to fill it up but is it possible to simply be at ease with what is?

Hmmmm...like I said, this is very much a challenge for me. With my efforts, I'm beginning to feel lighter, more focused, optimistic, and connected to that part of me that has been dormant. The part that knows that I am enough and have enough. So be it.

The Well

A place dwells deep within us which houses our energetic supply, not necessarily just physical or emotional energy, but the energy that we call upon to serve others-The Well. This has been the theme of this past week inspired by my weekend spent at ShaktiFest, a yoga-music festival held in Joshua Tree, California. I've been attending this event as well as BhaktiFest (held in September) for the past several years and each time I have new experiences. One such experience was finding myself sitting alone at a table having a bite to eat. It was a rare moment as I'm often hanging out with various parts of the yoga tribe, so sitting alone chomping on a big bowl of goodness felt like a nice and quiet respite. It didn't take long before I was joined by two different women, one after the other, with whom I shared two different, yet linked, conversations.

The first, a photographer who was shooting the festival, told me she had just returned from two months of travel/work creating documentary films and doing photography. I had a brief encounter with her the previous BhaktiFest as we both attended a session by Krishna Das. I said to her that it was inspiring to see how much she was enjoying and engaged during the session, not just acting as a photographer at work. When I reminded her of this brief encounter she said that she only says "yes" to work and projects that keep her connected to her spiritual practice. I silently thought to myself, "wow...that's cool. She feeds her soul as she's creatively engaged in her profession".

As the photographer left, another woman sat in the open chair. We engaged in a conversation that moved quickly from, "Hi, how are you?" to a much more open one. She was from Colorado and when I asked how her ShaktiFest was going, she said she didn't realize how stressed out and tired she was until she arrived. She shared with me that she had become involved in social activism concerning the fracking in her home state. She had a young daughter and had health concerns as some wells were opening closer to schools and hospitals and many people were worried about an increase in blood cancers and other health issues seemingly related to an increase in the number of wells drilling for natural gas. I said, "It must be difficult to balance the energy of your voice and those on the other side who want to capitalize on the "gas-gold rush" happening right below them. She replied, "Yes, it's exhausting." I suggested that perhaps her time at ShaktiFest was about filling up her own inner well so as to return to her activism with renewed energy and compassion. She paused a moment and looked at me saying, "What do you do?".

My question to people this week has been, "How dry will you let your own inner well get until you're willing to act on it?" 

I've asked myself that question more times than I care to admit and am trying to learn my lesson. Last summer I spent an amazing time in Australia--- time with friends, time in my favorite places, teaching two retreats and one workshop. In between, we had a few days on the beach and when I returned to the States I thought to myself, "Now I need a vacation." I didn't allow time and space to fully refill my well and launched straight back into a full and abundant season of teaching and running a business. I've spent the past several months moderating my energy and perhaps saying "no" to things I could have said "yes" to had I had more reserve. So this summer, I decided to take a longer break...somewhat reluctantly, but it feels necessary. I'm still doing some work, but once that's complete, I'm taking "we" time...just me and my husband. I'm an introvert so what fills up my well is spending time away from people in quiet and restoring situations.

I am truly honoring my choice to be away and recharge as I want to return to what I do with my well overflowing in order to teach from a place of full-hearted compassion and intent. So, what are you doing today to fill up your well? The more we keep that part of us topped up, the more we are able to serve. Perhaps you can take a page out of my book and not let your well run dry. Fill it up!

Residue

How many times can you recall where you've sat reveling in good vibrations following a big event? Perhaps it was that first moment after leaving the reception on your wedding day. Or maybe, it took you three years of study in your graduate program and you've just heard that your dissertation has been accepted. Or more relevant to the inspiration behind this weeks theme, you've just graduated from a 200-hour Yoga Teacher Training. This past weekend another six students completed their 200-hour program and were welcomed into the DYT teaching community by previous graduates, totaling 55 grads over the past five years that the program has been offered.

The ceremony was held at our local park and as I sat on the grass looking around at the people who had gathered, I felt a deep sense of gratification for how this particular community has come into existence. I remember sitting on a bus in India in 2013 and having a conversation with a fellow Off The Mat Seva participant (we raised money and awareness around the issue of sex trafficking in India and were on a tour), and she was telling me about how she had created a Yoga Teacher Training program. The conversation gave me confidence that I too could manifest such a program and so I  proceeded to undertake the process of becoming a registered yoga school. Six months later we had our first class of students and have continued on ever since.

It's a somewhat difficult experience to encapsulate in a few words-transforming, challenging, fun, inspiring, confronting, hard, delightful, or rigorous are just a few that come to mind. I've had many people say that it truly changed their life as it did mine when I stepped onto the formal path of becoming a yoga teacher. And although it's an individual exploration, we journey with everyone else who has undergone or is undergoing the process. During the final weekend, each trainee teaches a class as their final exam and we invite graduates of the program to be the students in those classes as they understand this moment better than anyone else.

The day after graduation, two grads came to class at the studio and were both flying high, still enjoying the afterglow of the weekend. They were basking in the residue of having accomplished a challenging task. And this residue is an actual physical sensation that emphasizes the positive and uplifting moments that we create in our lives. It's as though the residue is the current to something bigger and connected, a place where we experience joy and ease. It can feel like a touch of magic has just happened and is to be savored. Post-savasana bliss is something I witness at the end of every yoga class I teach. Having had the experience of the class, which at times may be physically challenging, we absorb our practice by being fully supported with blankets and bolsters as we lay on our back and completely surrender to the moment. If we are gifted sufficient time, our return to a seated position feels like a delicious respite from the busyness of everyday life.

This positive feeling can be created in different ways. Going on a yoga retreat, particularly if it's for more than a couple of days can have a huge effect, often leaving us in a calmer state than when we arrived. Spending time in nature tops up the residue bucket simply by feeling the wind on our face. As we get toward the last few days of a vacation, we often don't want to return to ordinary life as the present moment and feelings of release are so powerful. 

Reading the final page of a great book often creates a moment of simply soaking in the story. It's not as though as soon as we close the chapter on the book that we grab another and begin reading straight away...we savor! The first few bites of a favorite dish can also bring us to a previously established residue of flavors. Sensations on the taste buds can create lifelong memories emblazoned upon our brains. I dream of the ambrosia that was fresh peach cobbler with vanilla ice cream made by a cousin in one Michigan summer. Just writing that makes me salivate!

Part of connecting to the residue is noticing it's an actual physical experience. We may be bone-tired but have no agitation. We are able to marinate in the deep satisfaction of having come through something that's often much larger than our individual selves. My thought of the week is to encourage us to truly embrace the sweetest moments of our lives, particularly the ones where we've had to apply ourselves. Breathe it all in and enjoy the full moment!

Winds of Change

Unpredictable, soothing, life-giving, invisible, and disrupting are some of the words connected to the element of wind and air. This past month, our focus has not only been on the elements but on what they represent. Adaptability was the theme around the element of water, encouraging us to soften our rigidity and go with the flow. The earth symbolized stability, remembering to get grounded in the energy of Mother Earth especially when approaching difficulties or significant life shifts. The powerful element of fire is the escort of transformation, and although potentially destructive, it clears away old debris to allow fertile soil for rebirth. All of these elements we can see and sense and represent the first three physically based chakras.

Wind brings with it a different sensibility in that we know it's presence by how it acts on other things. We see the palm fronds waving in the wind, our hair getting blown about as we step out the front door, the leaves being lifted into magical formations, and the dust rising off the desert floor into dust devilish swirls. It represents that part of us that is unseen, our spirit, our soul, our heart energy. We know it's there even though we can't see it, capture it, or act upon it. 

I have this almost love/hate relationship with the wind. On a hot day, a welcome breeze feels heaven-sent. It's perfect for drying clothes quickly, for putting a kite high into the sky, catching a a wave on a surfboard or with a wind-sail. When I'm out on the road cycling, I love a tail-wind as I feel faster than I am on a still day, but turn around into a headwind and my quads begin to moan. Lip balm and a windy day...love to have it for dryness, but if the sand blows grit becomes a passenger on the lips.

With all of that, ultimately perhaps wind is the element that brings us to acceptance and equanimity. No matter which way the wind is or isn't blowing, we have no control of it. Unable to control or change it, it teaches us to surrender. When we wish for things to be different than they actually are, we can create our own kind of suffering. The air element reminds us to trust the unseen. We have no control over it...it simply is. 

It is also the element of the fourth chakra, the energetic center of the heart. The fourth chakra sits in the middle between the physical lower three chakras (earth, water, and fire) and the upper three, more ethereal centers (ether, intuition and higher consciousness). It's not only a gathering point of energy but a place of pivoting us in the direction of the highest states of awareness, the connection to the grid of Universal energy that's bigger than us although we can't see or touch it.

My thought of the week is to accept and embrace the unpredictability of life. When we practice coming into the essence of our hearts energy, we are reminded that we are part of something much bigger, something that we don't have an ability to control and in that recognition, we surrender and let ourselves be carried by the energy of the wind.

Feel the wind act upon you, caressing your skin and carrying with it the scents of the natural world. Let it blow through the energy of your heart just as Tibetan prayer flags release their prayers and good wishes every time the wind passes through.