Deconstruction

 

Life is a cycle of creating and letting go; activity and restoration; construction and deconstruction. Over the past 18 months, and more intensely and specifically over the past two months, my husband and I have been deconstructing our lives in order to construct the next phase of becoming world nomads. Prior to downsizing from a large house to a small condo, we had the idea that we wanted to live more lightly in the world, leaving a smaller footprint as well as having greater ease in getting up and going. We were seeking the freedom to make last-minute and perhaps more spontaneous choices without having to look for a dog sitter. We wanted to have smaller financial responsibilities, no monthly mortgage payments if possible, lower bills, and less stuff to be taken care of like a pool and garden. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoyed those things, we loved being pet owners and having a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood, yet it aligned less and less with our intention. If we wanted to be more nimble, we needed to make some changes. We’re now deconstructing our lives to fit into a 10’ x 10’ storage unit, two suitcases, and two day-packs.

As the pandemic came into full force, I had to recreate my business as in-person teaching became impossible. I had to get creative quickly and grow my business in a way I hadn’t anticipated by pivoting to online Zoom classes, creating a robust library of content, and adding online courses. I was simply trying to maintain some feeling of normalcy for myself and those in the yoga community and did what I could to maintain a sense of the familiar.

And then, we decided it was time to make a significant change and leave what we have known for the past 24 years of living in the United States. As the end-date of my teaching draws near, I’m in a phase of massive shedding after years and years of growth, learning, and construction. We have been here before, when we deconstructed our lives in Australia in order to return to constructing a life in the States and arrived with all of our stuff in 14 boxes. We unraveled what we knew in Australia and began to weave together what the USA chapter would look like. We returned without jobs or knowing what would happen and were fortunate to have a home base from which to send a new set of roots into the soil.

The theme this week is to recognize that we are in a constant cycle of growth, maintenance, and letting go. It can be seen in the cycle of the day, the seasons, the moon, and our breath. When we tune into where we are in our life cycle, we are able to recognize the totality of our lives as we move through each of these different phases. From a perspective of mindfulness, can we be present no matter what part of the cycle we’re experiencing?

One way to practice this is to tune into what part of the breathing cycle you’re in as you read these words…inhalation, retention, exhalation, or suspension? By tuning into the breath, we tune into presence. When we’re present, we can sense if we are experiencing equanimity or tipping into a state of past or future. If things are off-kilter, we can call upon the skills of present moment awareness, releasing tension, finding self-compassion, or the joy in the moment. And we learn to practice this by stepping onto our mat or sitting in our meditation space.

Noticing where you are in the cycle of your life is similar to the cycle of a yoga class. We center ourselves and set an intention; we undertake the practice whilst holding the intention softly in our consciousness; we challenge ourselves and we fall into the experience of being in the flow of the practice and ultimately, we let it all go when we lay down in Savasana, the “death” of the practice.

So, no matter where you are in your life, whether you’re creating, maintaining and soaking in the beauty of what you’re creating, or letting it all go, it’s exactly where you need to be. The power of the repeated cycle is an evolution of body, spirit, mind, and equanimity. I hope you are enjoying the ride!