Know, Speak, and Live Your Truth

It’s hard to process after all of these years that I have just taught my final class. I was expecting some sort of emotional to and froing which did happen and what I am left with is a sense of deep contentment, beauty, and gratitude.

At the end of some classes throughout the week, I asked what gifts people have received from being in their yoga practice. The comments touched my heart deeply with people expressing how yoga has taught them to find self-love and kindness, that it has encouraged a greater sense of calm and ease, that they’ve not only moved into their body with more awareness and less pain but their inner world and connection to the wholeness of yoga has grown. Many people came to yoga in the first place with one specific purpose in mind and found it was so much more than they ever thought it could be. 

Two words offered really stayed with me-scaffolding and congruence. I have often said that yoga gave me a structure upon which to build a foundation, and the word scaffolding was even more precise, implying a progressive and steady improvement upon what is currently present. Congruence was described as being necessary in order to progress through the practice with alignment of the body and mind, and the breath was needed to move from one pose to the next. Someone, who was in a toxic situation, said the practice opened up space to find self-expression and a truer essence of being who they are, and moving into alignment with a higher intention was paramount for change to happen.

Even as I close this chapter, I sit in awe with the amount of inspiration I derive from my students. It simply seems to be infinite and I will truly miss the regularity of that exposure.

With this being the final week of my teaching, the final lesson to share is summed up in the closing I use at the end of every class.

May we know, speak, and live our truth.

I have repeated those words countless times since the early 2000’s as it seems to encapsulate the deepest meaning of what the gift of yoga has given to me. It can be summed up as being a compass for life, providing the roadmap which is full of tools that are adaptable and dynamic. It’s my North Star – when I have clear intentions, I know which direction to go. If I have uncertainty, I can sit quietly and simply be open to receiving the signs and signals that guide my decision-making. Before yoga, I had too much internal noise and was much more reactive than I am today.

One of the biggest impacts yoga had on my life was learning about, and trying to implement, the 8-Limbs of Yoga as described in the Sutras of Patanjali. This framework gave me a practical reference point for my daily choices and actions. And although these ancient teachings are at least a couple of thousand years old, so many of us on the path find them adaptable to this time in history.

As I came across and worked with other integrated practitioners, I began to realize the common element between different modalities was that of energy. Yoga has taught me about understanding the balance of these energies, cultivating a path towards equanimity. Not living in the extremes of life whether it be physical or emotional, has served me well. We are in constant flux between the masculine and feminine; between the energy of the sun and moon; between the yin and yang energies, as well as the interplay and interconnectedness of body, mind, emotions, and spirit. Learning about chakras, koshas, nadis, and pranayama has all impacted this tapping into equanimity, as has compassion, loving-kindness, and sympathetic joy.

And even through a 15-month pandemic, the practice has been a touchstone for so many of us. Even via more Zoom calls than we care to count, we have maintained consistency and community.

On a more personal level, it has provided the container for my spiritual life and I no longer feel as though I’m searching for what resonates truth for me. It has been a vehicle for my own growth, releasing limiting beliefs, empowering creativity, and allowing me to find the power within my own voice. Speaking my truth evolved when I truly understood my purpose and realized I needed to share all that I knew. Holding onto what I’ve been taught was going against my purpose in life and literally getting the word out in any form was necessary. To my own amazement, I’ve written over 570 blogs, chanted my heart out with Jayne and The Om Boys, and at various kirtans, searched for weekly themes and common experiences, as well as continued to explore and study. Once I knew my mission of spreading the word, I was motivated to make it happen.

And I’ve had conversations with other yoga teachers who’ve had a similar experience of feeling as though we are a channel for higher consciousness and are needed during this chapter of being on the planet. Once I begin to get into the flow of teaching, something comes through me that is beyond my intellect. It truly is quite a magical experience.

Understanding the inter-relatedness of all things has deepened my duty to be a steward of the planet and to support those who have no voice. When I do my work, get on my mat or meditation cushion, I know it’s not only me who will be affected.

I like to think that the world is my yoga mat because no matter where I go in the world, the practice is always within me. All of these things enable me to know, speak, and live my truth. I recently heard Deepak Chopra say, “It is a joy to express my truth” and no more perfect words could be spoken. I am deeply content to have been connected to all of you during this time. I am humbled by all that you have taught me. I sit in gratitude to those who came before me, paving the way for me to find my own path and ultimately, sharing it with so many. And I wish you well as you go forward in your own way. May you shine your light brightly and flourish in a way that resonates with your heart and soul.

Namaste

The Future Buddha is the Sangha

 

This week my theme is the second of three lessons that have truly stood out from time I’ve spent in my yoga practice. Last week, the lesson was one of self-love and a reflection of when we deeply love ourselves, taking time to care for ourselves, and get to know our truest essence, that energy ripples outward. It affects how we relate to ourselves and the world at large.

The second powerful lesson that has emerged from my time on the mat is related to community. As recently as January 2021, I heard a discussion on “the future Buddha is the sangha” and found it intriguing and on point. A sangha is a like-minded community that holds a common intention and what this said to me was that wisdom is held in the collective rather than sitting with one person. Having been a movement teacher and coach for most of my adult life, I have been the person standing in front of others, leading people through exercises, asanas, discussions, meditations, workshops, and retreats. The mantel of “expert” has been place upon my shoulders and people have looked to me for guidance and answers. With the announcement of closing my business and going on indefinite sabbatical many people initially reacted with a feeling of loss. I have been the common denominator in this particular community that truly began in earnest in 2006. And now, that’s changing, so what’s next?

Last week I spoke about being the pebble dropped into a still pond, creating concentrically wider and wider circles. I have been the pebble and what I’m here to share is that I’m not the only pebble.

July of 2012 was a pivotal time for me personally and professionally. I was in the midst of raising money for Off the Mat, Into the World to support organizations addressing the issue of sex trafficking in India. I had a $25,000 goal and spent eight months creating a variety of events to raise the funds. The clothing company, lululemon, offered to hold a donation based yoga class to be taught by me, in their store. For context, it was July in the desert…snowbirds and seasonal visitors had left, it was really hot, and I was thinking that if 15-20 people showed up, I’d be happy. As I was getting ready to teach, people kept arriving and by the start of class, 55 people had shown up. I was stunned. The energy in the class, the collective voice that had gathered to offer support to those who were voiceless just about left me speechless. And from that moment onward, it was as though we were riding a huge wave to the goal-raising finish line.

I knew that when I undertook the challenge I would need support. I was a yoga teacher, not a fundraiser, so I turned to people in my circle of yoga practitioners who did know how to raise money. I needed help and although I don’t find it easy, I needed to ask for help. It was a humbling experience and I always felt it wasn’t me who raised the money, it was we who did.

Since that time, this community has continued to support all of the seva (service) projects that I threw out there…India, Australia, Nepal, and a host of local organizations that simply needed a helping hand. Each and every time, without fail, this community showed up. It has been one of the most gratifying aspects of being in my practice and something that I’m not only immensely proud of, but will honor for all time.

As I close this chapter, the one thing I will definitely miss the most is community. I have had the beautiful opportunity to interact with so many incredible and generous hearts. I wish I had more time to get to know people and their amazing life stories more deeply. So please know, that when we love ourselves and tap into our hearts, listening to what motivates and inspires us in life, we gather a wisdom that is unique to ourselves. We are all unique wisdom keepers and when we bring that together, the synergy of all of us is a potent force, one which I hope will benefit not only ourselves but all beings in the world.

Self-Love

The clock is ticking down on my final weeks of teaching live classes, shifting from a working life to a life of being on sabbatical and embarking on world travels. So, over the next three weeks, I’ve decided to offer up some of the biggest lessons I’ve learned from coming to my yoga mat.

I first stepped onto my mat in the early ’90s and what my practice looks like today is quite different from what it looked like back then. I’m incredibly grateful for the many lessons that I’ve learned, for the amazing teachers I’ve had the honor to practice with and who helped shape how I share this practice, and to the thousands of students who’ve guided me along the way. I have found this time of winding things down to be quite humbling as people have expressed to me what it has meant to them to be my student.

If you asked me back in the early ’90s what I thought I would get out of yoga, it wouldn’t be what I’m about to say…self-love. This idea was firmly cemented when I saw this quote by Seren Kierkegaard:

“Above all do not forget your duty to love yourself.”

Apparently, he would sign off his letters to family and friends with the above statement. As I read his words, I was struck by the word “duty”, indicating that loving ourselves isn’t a selfish act or a flippant choice, but one of obligation and commitment.

I so believe that every time we come to the mat or sit on our meditation cushion, every time we show up in whatever form our practice takes, that it is an act of self-care and self-love. When we come to our mat, we begin a conversation with the entirety of our being. We check in with our physical body, we notice our thoughts, we sit with the fluctuations of our emotional state, and we connect to a larger essence of consciousness and meaning. Coming to the mat is never a selfish act, but one of deep commitment and care.

I have often been heard to say that “our practice begins within” and as we open into the spaciousness and stillness by coming into our practice, we begin to establish an embodiment of living from a yogic perspective. What that fundamentally means is that we begin to cultivate a harmonious relationship between body, mind, and spirit. As we embody a harmonious state, it doesn’t stay solely within us but echoes outward. Imagine a still pond and dropping a pebble into it…concentric circles are created from the pebble and move further and further away from it.

This was affirmed by the researcher, Dr.Brené Brown, who found that the data showed that self-love is integral to our connection to others. She says:

“Love is not something we give or get; it is something that we nurture and grow, a connection that can only be cultivated between two people when it exists within each one of them-we can only love others as much as we love ourselves.”

The Buddhist tradition of loving-kindness or metta meditation is positive energy and kindness toward others. The practice is to repeat phrases such as “May I be safe, may I be happy, may I be healthy, and may I live with ease” and the starting point is “May I”. As the practice progresses, others are included with “May you” statements from the easier recipients of benefactors and friends, to a neutral person, and eventually out to those who are prickly and may challenge us. The point is the practice begins within and is focused on ourselves before it moves onto others. What we wish for ourselves, is also what we eventually wish for all beings everywhere.

And tying it all back into our yoga practice, one of the guiding principles of yoga is that of compassion, also known as ahimsa. Within the Sutras of Patanjali, ahimsa is the first of the five Yamas and is an overarching practice that pervades all aspects of the practice. Ahimsa is compassion for ourselves, for each other, and for the planet. When we are acting from a place with an intention of compassion and kindness, we are in a state of union and harmony. In yoga, we achieve equanimity by initiating the practice from within our own hearts, being conscious of the impact of our actions, thoughts, and words on ourselves and others.

So I honor you for your own acts of self-love and self-care, for each and every time you’ve stepped onto your mat, and set a timer for your meditation practice. I honor you for taking the time to embody all that you’ve been taught and for becoming the pebble that is dropped into the pond. We would all benefit from more pebbles in the world!

Deconstruction

 

Life is a cycle of creating and letting go; activity and restoration; construction and deconstruction. Over the past 18 months, and more intensely and specifically over the past two months, my husband and I have been deconstructing our lives in order to construct the next phase of becoming world nomads. Prior to downsizing from a large house to a small condo, we had the idea that we wanted to live more lightly in the world, leaving a smaller footprint as well as having greater ease in getting up and going. We were seeking the freedom to make last-minute and perhaps more spontaneous choices without having to look for a dog sitter. We wanted to have smaller financial responsibilities, no monthly mortgage payments if possible, lower bills, and less stuff to be taken care of like a pool and garden. Don’t get me wrong, we enjoyed those things, we loved being pet owners and having a beautiful house in a nice neighborhood, yet it aligned less and less with our intention. If we wanted to be more nimble, we needed to make some changes. We’re now deconstructing our lives to fit into a 10’ x 10’ storage unit, two suitcases, and two day-packs.

As the pandemic came into full force, I had to recreate my business as in-person teaching became impossible. I had to get creative quickly and grow my business in a way I hadn’t anticipated by pivoting to online Zoom classes, creating a robust library of content, and adding online courses. I was simply trying to maintain some feeling of normalcy for myself and those in the yoga community and did what I could to maintain a sense of the familiar.

And then, we decided it was time to make a significant change and leave what we have known for the past 24 years of living in the United States. As the end-date of my teaching draws near, I’m in a phase of massive shedding after years and years of growth, learning, and construction. We have been here before, when we deconstructed our lives in Australia in order to return to constructing a life in the States and arrived with all of our stuff in 14 boxes. We unraveled what we knew in Australia and began to weave together what the USA chapter would look like. We returned without jobs or knowing what would happen and were fortunate to have a home base from which to send a new set of roots into the soil.

The theme this week is to recognize that we are in a constant cycle of growth, maintenance, and letting go. It can be seen in the cycle of the day, the seasons, the moon, and our breath. When we tune into where we are in our life cycle, we are able to recognize the totality of our lives as we move through each of these different phases. From a perspective of mindfulness, can we be present no matter what part of the cycle we’re experiencing?

One way to practice this is to tune into what part of the breathing cycle you’re in as you read these words…inhalation, retention, exhalation, or suspension? By tuning into the breath, we tune into presence. When we’re present, we can sense if we are experiencing equanimity or tipping into a state of past or future. If things are off-kilter, we can call upon the skills of present moment awareness, releasing tension, finding self-compassion, or the joy in the moment. And we learn to practice this by stepping onto our mat or sitting in our meditation space.

Noticing where you are in the cycle of your life is similar to the cycle of a yoga class. We center ourselves and set an intention; we undertake the practice whilst holding the intention softly in our consciousness; we challenge ourselves and we fall into the experience of being in the flow of the practice and ultimately, we let it all go when we lay down in Savasana, the “death” of the practice.

So, no matter where you are in your life, whether you’re creating, maintaining and soaking in the beauty of what you’re creating, or letting it all go, it’s exactly where you need to be. The power of the repeated cycle is an evolution of body, spirit, mind, and equanimity. I hope you are enjoying the ride!

Stop

 

As much as I try not to buy into the notion of busyness, I have to admit the past couple of weeks have been on the hectic side, and it’s through my own doing. Nobody has imposed this busy time on me, as it’s simply a result of what I’ve wanted to manifest in my life…becoming a traveling world nomad. In order for that to happen a few other things need to happen first. You know, stuff like selling our condo, trying to sell a business, sorting, donating, moving, and all the while still working full-time.

I see this time like waves of the ocean…they’re big and ready to knock me off my feet. My preferred wave metaphor is that of even waves that lap at my ankles, not the monster rip-tide ready to pull me under. And I keep reminding myself that this too is an impermanent state and eventually I’ll be getting sand between my toes without feeling too scared to enter the ocean.

The theme of this week is to STOP. Stop what I’m doing and, instead, offer myself a breather and some recovery time without the panic of the beckoning call of the looming deadline. Plus, my body has been dictating when I need to stop bending over, packing stuff, moving things, and sorting. My body speaks through hunger, fatigue, thirst, pain, and headaches, so it’s a good thing I’ve become better at allowing this space to take a break particularly when my to-do list and a timeline are tapping on my shoulder.

Stopping is part of self-care and not a sign of laziness or apathy. Pain is something that often forces us to stop and wisdom is understanding that we don’t need to go to the point of pain before we can back away.

 Part of this week’s inspiration is encapsulated with a quote from Courtney Carver (bemorewithless.com):

“That moment when you think you don’t have time to take care of yourself is the exact moment you have to take care of yourself.”

I read that and thought, yep, that about sums it up and reminded me why creating a daily, non-negotiable practice is vital to honoring the foundation of self-care. By creating sacred space in our day, we are able to stop what we’re doing, check-in with what we need, and simply become the observer of our own experience. If we just keep pushing through, checking things off the list of responsibilities, we so easily lose touch with the essence and sweetness of our lives. Instead of human doings, we’re able to come to the simplicity of human being…just being, with whatever may be happening, whether it’s tickling our toes in the sand or deconstructing the whole of our lives.

Being in the quiet space brings the moment into focus and gives meaning to our lives. And in order for us to be in a space of expansive consciousness we need to stop, to pause, to take a time-out and tune in.

One of my favorite quotes is:

“You should sit in meditation for 20 minutes a day, unless you’re too busy, then you should sit for an hour.”

~Old Zen Saying

Fifteen years ago I dedicated myself to a daily practice of meditation, slowly over time, creating a practice that is both dynamic and disciplined. I have kept to this non-negotiable time in a way I never expected, but I have realized how much it sets the course of every day. One of my teachers, Nischala Joy Devi, once said that when we establish our practice on a daily basis, it begins to feel like leaving the house without brushing your teeth. That makes complete sense to me now. I wouldn’t think that every day is a day where I need to decide whether or not brushing my teeth is a good idea…it’s part of self-care and good hygiene. It’s the same thing with a daily practice, it’s part of self-care and good personal (mental and spiritual) hygiene.

A great place to start is in a small, committed way. Set an intention of sitting still, in a quiet place, and count ten full deep breaths. That’s it. It will likely take less than five minutes and I dare to say, you’re worth it! Remember…you don’t have to stop, you get to stop!

True Nature

 

I’m currently in a phase of life that involves a bunch of change. I’ve got multiple lists, we’re packing and sorting, and we’re donating and selling. It feels like we’re drowning in details – selling our home, what to save, what to get rid of, do we get a storage unit and, if yes, how big? And not to mention the daily conversation of what’s for dinner? As my husband and I ready ourselves to become world nomads, before we can launch, we have to release. In addition to the “stuff”, friends and family are wanting to connect and have been reaching out to us in a myriad of ways. To say the least, it’s a lot. So when I came across the following quote, I felt as though it were a gentle nudge from the Universe to remember the important stuff.

“Our true nature is like the infinite sky, unmarked by whatever drama temporarily appears in its vast space.” ~ Kittisaro, “Tangled in Thought”

As I read those words it was as though I was being reminded to pull away from the minutia of life and remember the bigger essence of who I am.

At times we get sucked into the vortex of our own dramas that happen from day-to-day. Just take a moment from a certain chapter of your life and see if you can recall the details of what felt overwhelming and challenging. If you’re like me, you recall the sense of what it was like but the story we may have recounted numerous times has lost its juice. It’s just not as important or as urgent as it seemed at the time. When we give ourselves time to put on the wide-angle lens of our life, we pull away from the micro drama and get glimpses of the bigger picture and hence the bigger meaning of our lives.

Coming to our mats is one way to remember our true nature which is said to be that of infinite spirit. When we become consumed by the many vignettes that play out each day, it’s easy to forget that the essence of who we truly are is right there, sitting within us. It’s as though daily dramas cover up what’s truly important and if they go on long enough, we may not even remember the deeper meaning of our lives. As Dudjom Rinpoche beautifully wrote:

“Although hundreds or thousands of explanations are given,

There is only one thing to be understood-

Know the one thing that liberates everything-

Awareness itself, your true nature.”

A story I recently heard recounted by meditation teacher, Tara Brach, told of a revered large Buddha statue in Southeast Asia that seemed to be made out of a white stone and plaster. It came to the attention of the local monks who looked after the statue that it was beginning to crack. As they investigated and shone a light into one of the cracks, they saw a reflection of what looked to be gold. They removed the outer plaster covering the Buddha and found the largest solid gold Buddha in all of Southeast Asia. The layers covering the golden Buddha were meant to protect it and, over the years, locals had forgotten the beauty and original form laying below.

For me, this metaphor is about getting stuck on the outside so we either don’t investigate what’s laying below or don’t even think there could be something that’s more radiant than what we can actually see.

When we come to the mat, we practice dropping away from the shell that feels protective and open ourselves to a greater potential of exploring all possibility. We remember that we are connected to something larger, to a field of expansive consciousness, without limitation or boundary.

As I navigate these changing times, I’m grateful to sitting in silence, stepping into the void to listen to the greater message that the details drown out. And perhaps, I can rip up a page of my to-do list, place a hand on my heart, and whisper to myself…”It will all be okay. It will all work out”.

Listen Up

I am often reminded of something within my practice that needs a boost of energy and it’s been good for me over the past couple of weeks to hone in on my listening skills. Since announcing my upcoming lifestyle change in becoming a world nomad, letting go of my yoga studio, and taking a sabbatical, I’ve felt the need to listen to people’s reactions and work on holding the space for whatever experiences may be arising for them. I kind of dropped a bombshell on my beloved yoga community and it’s been interesting to sit in a receptive mode and hear people’s reactions. It’s a big wave of information to process, not only for them, but for me as well...so much change in a significant way.

It’s also been a time of many different emotions which began with my own nervousness about making the big reveal public. The main emotions were that of disappointment and letting a committed community down. I didn’t know what kind of reaction would come back to me and I have to say it’s been overwhelming and filled with gratitude and love. It’s also filled with sadness, grief, and a sense of unknown change. Yet, once I did release the news, a certain relief and calm came over me and it’s been a beautiful experience to navigate these changes with those who’ve reached out.

And perhaps not coincidentally, around the same time, I came across another insightful podcast on the topic of listening on Life Examined with Jonathan Bastian. (You can listen to it by clicking here). There were three takeaways from the episode that we can do to position ourselves to be better at listening: 

1. Turn your phone off
2. Take a drink of water at least every 30 minutes
3. Take three deep breaths before beginning

As I was listening to the above tips, I recognized how much these skills are reflected in our yoga practice by applying mindfulness to listening. Part of being a good listener is to be fully present, remove distractions, and avoid interrupting. Although that sounds easy, it can be challenging in real-time, as we so often want to interject with support, solutions, or comparative stories. This is where I have to really watch myself as these habits are ingrained and shifting them truly takes a greater level of awareness. It’s challenging to not leap frog ahead to how I’m going to answer or interject and hence, presence plays a vital role.

This week, we’ve also been exploring not just how to hold listening space for others but to understand that another type of listening is listening to ourselves. I have always thought it an incomplete and inadequate statement when teachers say, “listen to your body”. Part of me wanted to know “how” and “what does that really mean?” I gained clarity during a presentation by a Canadian physiotherapist who works working with his patients with pain. He offered these three questions instead:

 

1.     Does this feel safe in my body?

2.     Will I be okay tomorrow?

3.     Am I dialing up pain?

As I began to employ this in classes and kept exploring it, I have added in “Am I triggering pain?” reasoning that if we’re paying attention, over time we learn that some movements may not hurt in the moment, but may trigger something afterward (an extension of “Will I be okay tomorrow”).

Personally, it’s overriding my ego in being able to do something in my practice, perhaps something I’ve always done, or used to do, and maybe it looked or felt cool but it’s a pose that now puts too much stress on my body and it’s not worth it. And instead of dialing up or triggering pain, I am now having the experience of empowerment. It feels great to know that I’m being kinder to myself and having less chronic pain as a result.

When we listen to ourselves, we can pose a simple question – What do I need in this moment? What do I need today? Instead of being told from an outside force, we can choose to practice in a way that is in alignment with what serves us and comes from a source of inner knowing and wisdom. Nothing outside of us has greater authority than what lies within us, and that equates with being empowered practitioners.