Inner Space, Inner Peace

It's my birthday week so I wanted to pick a thought of the week that was a reflection of one of my deepest intentions...finding a peaceful heart. The inspiration has partially stemmed from my Dad, Wayne, who passed away in 1982 but not before leaving an indelible imprint on the person I am today. He was a metallurgical engineer and researcher in aerospace back in the day when it was an emerging field of exploration in the late 50's and early 60's. He worked at a think-tank and, from a young age, I had the opportunity to see moon rock and liquid nitrogen. When Dad would talk to me about outer space, I would sit in a stupor trying to comprehend the vastness of it all. Here we are, on this little dot of a planet in the Universe and what's "out there" is mind-blowing. It was the new frontier and, to this day, continues to be. It's a place of apparent silence, radiant light, and endless opportunities to search into the unknown. It's a place where infinity has true meaning.

I then started to think about inner space...that dwelling within each of us that, like outer space, has unlimited potential for exploration. At one time, our body was thought about in limited terms of skin, muscles, cells, bones, etc, and today, we are able to SEE strands of DNA. For the longest time, we had no awareness of what was lying beneath the skin, a frontier awaiting exploration. Sitting within this inner landscape beyond the physical is thought to be the "Hridaya", the cave of the heart-that untouchable, unchanging, and steadfast center of who we are. As Eckhart Tolle said, "At the deepest level of Being, we are one with all that is."

One of my wishes for the world is peace. Yep, that hippie sounding affirmation of wanting peace throughout the world. I doubt we'll see peace in the world in my own life as we've been at war for a couple of thousand years, but that simply deepens the desire to be part of the peacemaking footprint. If I wish peace for others, I know that I must first have peace within my own being. Hence, the need to explore my own inner space. Meditation, slowing down, and living with intention, contemplation, and yoga are the doorways into inner space. Over the years, I have become "better" at finding the "Hridaya", the center of who I am. At times we can become lost and the consistency of our practice is what reminds us of that connection and helps us to find that place within.

As so often is said, we begin with the breath. We breathe into our own inner space, bringing in what we need and upon exhale we release that breath into the outer space. Our earthly outer space or atmosphere is one which all beings have been sharing since the beginning of time. I know that if I can offer through my breath, my own infusion of intention, a sense of peacefulness, then each out-breath is an opportunity to offer peacefulness to the whole. Just as a prayer is sent out each time the wind passes through Tibetan prayer flags, we can do the same with our own breath. So many opportunities to explore the infinite potential for living in presence with the intention of a peaceful world.

So my birthday wish is this: May all of us touch a natural sense of peacefulness, within and without. May all of us spend time exploring our own inner being and, in doing so, recognize how it is intertwined with everything else. And may all of us be inspired by those who have gone before us, exploring both inner and outer space.

Courage

As we have just passed Martin Luther King, Jr day here in the United States, I am inspired to write about courage. When I think of Dr. King, I am reminded of the immense courage it takes to stand up for something that is calling to you from the depths of your soul. And with the current "#Me too" movement, I am also reminded of what it takes to speak out against injustice. As I draw these thoughts inward, I reflect upon my own life and find myself asking, "How have I lived courageously?". I am hardly a suppressed person as I feel I've been blessed with unlimited opportunities throughout my life. I, like so many others, have had my "#Me too" experiences, but it truly hasn't stopped me from pursuing what motivates me. I have sat on the cusp of opportunity which offers me the chance to lend my privileged voice to others.

One of my most recent exposures to feeling the fear was experienced as I undertook the Global Seva Challenge for Off the Mat, Into the World in 2012. I had all sorts of fear of not being able to raise $20,000 towards organizations rescuing and rehabilitating young girls in India who had been trafficked, and often sold, into the sex-slave trade. My fear was around failing, about appearing incapable of reaching a goal, of not having enough of "whatever" to make it happen. I felt the vulnerability of this, reached out to my community, and with their tremendous support moved forward. 

One of our first fundraising efforts was a community garage sale, held in a local parking lot. It was one of those too-early-in-the- spring-to-be-hot-days, and we were hustling and sweating and trying to raise money.  The local IHOP manager was annoyed at our presence and called the police. They were kind and allowed us to stay. At the end of the day, we then had to schlep what wasn't sold back into a storage area. I was hot, hungry, and tired as I'd been at it since before daylight, not to mention what it took to gather items a few weeks before the event. As I noticed my grumpiness, I paused and thought about some 9-year old girl in India, sold by her family into an unimaginable situation...I immediately got over myself. That's all it took. Me getting out of my own way and thinking about someone else and the opportunity I had to offer my voice to those who have none.

Sometimes, when we think about how we can serve others, whatever fear, trepidation, or harm is holding us back dissolves. It hardly seemed courageous looking back, especially upon meeting those girls in India. They were the ones with the resiliency and brave hearts. They were the ones who simply needed someone to offer them a moment of freedom and the chance at a different path. Their courage in absorbing all of this was astounding.

The word "courage" stems from the French word, "Coeur" which means heart. And when you think about it, if we are able to drop into the essence of our hearts, into the energy of love and compassion, courage is present. I had to get out of my ego-driven mind, away from my intellect and find the connection to the energy of my heart during the Seva challenge and I know that if we can drop into that space, we realize that courage is always within us, simply waiting to roar when called upon. In some ways, it's easier to shrivel than blossom. It's easier to stay with what we know instead of stepping into the scary abyss of the unfamiliar.

So my thought this week is to simply honor those courageous moments we've experienced in our lives, whether they be something that is seen on a broad community level or something like stepping into an unfamiliar yoga class for the first time. If we allow ourselves to drop into our heart space, we can hear the deeper calling of courage. My suggestion is that you trust that voice and let it guide you. 

In gratitude for all of those who have laid the footprints of inspiration for us to follow.

Personal Practice

When I first began practicing yoga, I'd show up to the class, do the practice and then leave. At the time, that seemed to be meeting what I needed and expected from attending. I wouldn't necessarily leave the class with a precious nugget that I was going to install in my next week of intentional growth. I would reflect on the class largely because of the sore or aching muscles reminding me of the previous. I saw my practice as the time I spent on my rectangular rubber mat. Yet, something somewhat buried within was asking for more...it had been beckoning for quite some time to seek something meaningful, even spiritual in life, but I was yet to discover what that calling was. Well, the call was answered during my training to become a yoga teacher. We began to look at the ancient history and philosophy that much of yoga had as its foundation and it was during this time that the switch was flipped...This is what I had been looking for! A way to connect to something deeper, yet practical, that would give me better skills at coping with my life.

It was at this time that the idea of a personal practice took root. I knew I wanted to live from a compassionate perspective as a way of being in the world, and not just when I was on the mat. In adopting a yogic lifestyle, I now see that the entire world is my yoga mat. The practice is carried within (embodied) and not defined by where it's undertaken. If you want to read more about embodiment, check out last week's blog by clicking here.

A personal practice is what we do once we leave the larger environment of the class. It's our solo journey through inner space. And it's completely personal, custom built by ourselves based on what feels right in our life in that moment. I have no idea as to what your personal practice should look like, but I can tell you what's worked for me and offer some guidance, but that's about as far as it goes. It's something that we need to uncover for ourselves and it can look completely different from someone else's practice.

This week I've been asking the questions: Do you have a personal practice? If not, do you want one? And if yes, what does it look like?

People have answered in a few different ways about what their personal practice looks like ranging from "finding present moment awareness", to "being flexible in how it can look each day", and to "making a consistent commitment to some aspect of it". Does it need to include yoga poses (asana)? I don't think so...it can, but that's not what constitutes it being a practice. It might be something as singular as being kind. Kinder to ourselves, to each other, and perhaps kinder to the planet. And if that's the case, what does that look like in practical terms? We've been repeating affirming statements that connect us to the present moment and to our practice this past week. These can be repeated if we find ourselves wanting to come back to center or having self-talk that is less than loving.

I love my body and trust its wisdom.

I'm always safe at the center of my being.

I peacefully detach from negativity.

So, if you lack clarity as to where to build a stronger personal practice, start here in the repetition of one of the above statements, slow down, and pay attention to what's happening in the present moment. Perhaps set an intention of a daily connection to it and see where it takes you.

Having come from a sports science and fitness background, I came across many people who were 23-hour couch potatoes. They'd spend an hour at the gym and be sedentary for the remainder of the day and would wonder why their health goals were seemingly out of reach. By building a personal practice, we can connect to our practice through mindfulness and intention and perhaps, begin to see the whole world as our own private yoga studio. Are you ready to begin?

Embodiment

As we have flipped the calendar into a new year, I thought it would be a terrific time to launch straight into the idea of embodiment. What does it mean to be "embodied"? One definition that resonated with me is: "the representation or expression of something in a tangible or visible form". The reasons I like that definition is that the words tangible and visible, as in embodiment, are things we can see and sense. This was true of a couple of my teachers who possess a certain quality in how they relate to the world.   As soon as they enter the room you can sense they have an energy about them which is calm and centered. When I came across this, I recognized it as something that I desired for myself...so, how does one go about embodying these qualities? Consistent and long-term practice, that's how. These teachers have been living their yoga practice for decades and it was simply who they were.

As I researched embodiment more deeply, I began to realize that it's the physicality of our yoga that gives it meaning. And I don't mean that it has to be strenuous physical activity but more that we sense our experiences completely through the vessel of our physical body. When we have a powerful emotional reaction to some event, we feel it. It may center itself as a kick in the gut, an electric zing in the heart, or through forming beads of sweat on our brow. We sense the experience as it's not just a theoretical event, but rather something that actually happens to us or someone we know. So if that's the case that we feel our way through the myriad of experiences in our life, then we can perhaps learn to read the language of our body to get greater insight into present moment awareness.

I studied French as a second language for over five years, so when I had an opportunity to speak French, I received a wicked awakening as I had no idea of what was being said. I'd ask a question in French and, lo and behold, the person would respond in French, but at a speed that was completely foreign to my untrained ears. I learned how to ask people to please speak slowly so I could grasp the gist of a reply. The same is true for our bodies...we so often zoom through our lives that we don't speak the language of our own body. We miss the cues completely and then wonder why we're taken down with injury or illness. One of the beautiful things about undertaking a yoga practice is that it has the potential to invite us to slow down. When we tap into the slowing down of our breath and begin to match our body to it, we are able to feel and sense the subtleties our own body is speaking. And over time, we create a deeper connection to that dialogue and gain clarity as to what we need. We begin to embody our practice through consciousness,  making gentle changes each time we come to the mat.

A growing field of interest in the yoga therapy realm is around the concept of "interoception" described by Bo Forbes as "the art of paying attention to momentary fluctuations in bodily sensations-purposefully, non-judgmentally, and without needing to change or fix anything. Think of interoception as mindfulness in the body." She goes on to say that interoception has a positive impact on our physical health, benefiting our immune system, gut microbiome, and connective tissue matrix. Interoception also helps with emotional resilience: among many things, it turns down the volume on the negative self-referential thinking characteristic of anxiety, depression, chronic pain, addictions, and other "diseases of disembodiment." 

Another hot topic in the medical field is that of systemic inflammation, thought to be the root cause of many modern day diseases. It's incredible to think that by tuning into a daily practice of yoga, meditation, tai chi, qigong or other wisdom traditions, that we can positively influence not only our state of mind, but the cascade of physical responses responsible for keeping us in good health.  It seems that many ideas of the yogis which have been practiced for millennia are starting to be supported in our current scientific research. Basically, it boils down to incorporating a daily practice, where you learn to listen to what your body is saying and respond from a place of non-judgment. Okay...sounds easy enough! Next step? Roll out your mat and get going!

Being and Becoming

I have this strong memory of standing at the window in my childhood home staring at the rain.  A vivid recollection as the rain fell from the roof and formed perfect drops into a growing puddle. I can recall the sound, the grayness, and the cool temperature of the glass that separated me from the elements. I don't know if I was more than a couple of years old, as I was mostly pre-verbal, but that moment left an incredible imprint in my memory. The point of this story is the person that who was watching the rain is the same person that's been watching my entire life. This is my witness-self, the eternal part of me that sees the history of this incarnation without making comment or having judgment around it. That two-year-old self is the same as the current 54-year old self...it hasn't changed. This "being" is the part of us that is transcendent and unchanging and is referred to as the paramatman, the universal or eternal soul.

Then there's this other aspect of ourselves called the jiva-atman, or the "becoming" self. This part of us is connected to why we are in this body, with the often asked question, "why am I here?". The unveiling of this question often points to our purpose or dharma. Some people ascribe to the idea that our soul comes into this body at this particular point in time with an intention or purpose. What is it that I need to experience to continue the evolution of my soul toward complete union with divine consciousness? Why have I taken this form and what is my role in this incarnation? Some may believe we have just a single experience...we're born, we live our life and when we die we head someplace other than earth that is a reflection of how we lived. And others think it's an on-going experience, coming into form so that we can learn the many lessons we need to become enlightened. No matter what you believe, the point is that most of us feel connected to and driven by a purpose. Whether or not we have a clear vision of what that purpose may be is the "becoming".

I'm lucky to have uncovered what I believe to be my dharma-that of a teacher. I have been teaching most of my life in one form or another and the older I became, the more clarity I gained that I was being called to teach and, more specifically, to teach through the lens of yoga. All of the various teaching experiences have refined and deepened my understanding of what I'm currently teaching and this became crystallized about 15 years ago...I felt I truly knew why I was here. 

So as we come to the end of 2017, I wanted to put on the wide angle lens and take a broad view of where we are, hence the theme of being and becoming. As we reflect on the past 12 months, many of the themes I've taught and written about revolve around the challenges we meet, the upheavals that come to us, the dark moments as well as the joyous and celebratory ones and how we can use the teachings from the wisdom traditions to better cope and find ease in our lives. The past couple of weeks have been about not only what are we ready to release, but of what's been put in place and is really supporting us to find integration. If we've been walking this path with any amount of awareness and intention, we've created small changes that make a difference. Some can be surrendered and others kept in place. So, as you flip the calendar to 2018, reflect on the good that you've brought into your life and how that's filled up your own well. We know that if we nurture our own selves, the abundance of that flows away from us. And when the energy is flowing from our hearts, we are free to step into the roles this life has for us.

I am so incredibly grateful to know why I'm here and to have a growing community of like-minds that want to share the ride and spread the yoga love. May all of us tap into our heart-space, breathe deeply, and serve others so that we find a more peaceful world...a world at ease.

Sacred Flow

What a week it's been, with many energies colliding and coinciding. Monday we had a new moon, a sky with darkness as the moon cannot be seen. In the lunar cycle, this is a ripe time to set intentions, planting the seeds of what we wish to see manifest in the light of the full moon. As so often happens, it might be more than a lunar cycle to see what blooms from our intentions, but we put it out there nonetheless. Also, the Solstice happened this past week, the winter in the Northern hemisphere and the summer in the Southern hemisphere...the shortest and longest days of the year. I love this time of the year in the north, as it feels as though we are being called home, to turning inward to listen to what our inner voice has to say. The day following the Solstice in the Northern hemisphere has us turning in the North direction from a Shamanic perspective. Turning to the north asks us to connect to the spiritual aspect of who we are, melding perfectly with the introspection and setting of intentions being brought forth this week. Plus, we finished the celebration of Hanukkah this past week and Monday marks Christmas day...so many occasions that revolve around light.

As Diane Booth Gilliam wrote, "The sun symbolizes your soul. In fact, the word "solstice" means sun standing still, so in a sense, we could say your soul stands still on the solstice-maybe even long enough for you to catch a glimpse of it, as some legends say you can at this divine time of year."

As we mark the Solstice, I am reminded of our time almost a year ago that we had in Iceland. It was early December and we were only a couple of weeks away from the Solstice. The daylight hours were limited to about five hours and it never truly got that light outside. The sun loomed along the horizon, never venturing overhead and the surreal feeling was as though we were in an extended dawn. It's no wonder that countries that are located close to the Arctic Circle embraced the celebration of the Winter Solstice with bonfires and gatherings represented by light. This time of year is a turning point as the days begin to lengthen with the return of the light.

I've come to appreciate the darkness as it feels like an invitation to put on a bathrobe, grab a cup of tea and snuggle into the couch. It feels like a personal invitation to withdraw and slow down for a few moments of quiet.  I am also reminded of how these sacred moments are in constant flow. The cycles of the season continue to turn and the shape of the moon shifts each day. If we pay attention, we can recognize our own personal flow that includes our breath and the blood coursing through our bodies. Our breath is in a constant cycle...in and out, on average 12 times each minute. This happens whether or not we pay any attention to it. The circulating blood in our bodies, being pumped by the constant rhythm of our hearts, is happening 60-80 beats per minute. This also happens whether or not we pay attention to it. 

One of the beautiful things about our yoga practice is that it asks us to get to know our breathing. It gives us space to sense the energy emitting from our heart and to pay attention to the signals the body is constantly sending. It teaches us to pay attention to our individual cycles, to how we feel on each day and what we need to support where we are moment to moment. If we expand this out and listen to what the cycles of nature, the seasons, and the moon are saying, we become part of the grander sacred flow of energy. We awaken to all that's around us as well as to what is within us. And when we pay attention, we may just hear our soul speak the deepest truths of who we are and how we are spiritually embodied in a human experience.

So, I hope you'll join me this time of year in making space to recognize what you're ready to let go of and what you're willing to hold onto. If you've been exploring your holistic path you may have put into place things that support you (your non-negotiables) and realized that much of what you thought you previously needed is no longer supporting you. Listen to the call of the darkness and go into your spiritual home. Turn in and tune in. 

The light in me sees and honors the light in you. Peaceful Solstice to all!

Sangha-Building a Spiritual Community

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."

~Jane Howard

For us at Desert Yoga Therapy, it's a time to say thank you for being part of our community. This past week we celebrated our first anniversary in our Rancho Mirage studio. In some ways, it feels like we've been there for much longer as so many experiences have been had over these past 12 months. 

It's been a heart-warming reflection to consider all that has happened this past year: workshops on Ayurveda, chakras, auras, intuition, ecstatic dance, kids and tweens; teacher training programs with two 200-Hour classes, advanced studies, and restorative yoga; weekly yoga classes (total attendance over 6000); 1-1 yoga therapy and 1-1 Pilates. We have instructors who are building their own business within DYT and bring great compassion to what they do.

For those who've been to our studio, you have commented on not only how beautiful it is, but how it feels welcoming and safe, a sacred place for us to be on our own journey of wellness. One of the intentions that my husband, Ed, and I had for the space was that it would be a place where people could come to be in community no matter who they were or what was transpiring in their lives. We wanted this space to be free of turmoil from the "outside" world, a place to re-calibrate our sense of self, a place to process and move and breathe. We are honored that you have allowed us to serve you in this way.

To get a sense of what this anniversary means on a personal level, I went back to some older blogs I had written about finding community. Two blogs, in particular, stood out, written in 2011 and 2015. When I left Australia and returned to the States in 1997, I left behind a community of people that I call my "heart family". These are the people in our lives who've bared witness to our journey and hold us with compassion, support, and unconditional love. I thought I would find that upon returning to the States, but instead what I seemed to be looking for was elusive. I had a few false starts, hanging out with groups of people that I enjoyed, yet lacked the depth I was seeking. On a deeper level, I was looking for a community of people that were also seeking to connect to higher purpose, who were willing to share their vulnerabilities, and support each other in finding meaning in our lives.

Something within me was calling for this and, since it wasn't coming easily to me, I thought perhaps that part of my purpose was to build community. You know the saying, "build it and they will come" which is perhaps true with the right intention, but I had many moments of sitting in an empty yoga studio waiting for someone to walk in the door. It's been a long, slow growth which has taken persistence and determination. I hold the attitude that no matter how many people turn up to practice, I will give it the same energy. And now in coming to the end of our first year in our new space, I can actually see the manifestation of this intention of building community. I love being in our studio for many reasons-the purple walls, the beautiful floor, the soft natural lighting...but what I love most are the people who walk through the doors. We often come with some agitation or heaviness of heart, and I am fortunate to see the after-effects of what happens within the classes and sessions. People leave smiling and relaxed. They engage with others and form lifelong friendships. 

My teacher, Judith Hanson Lasater, has a saying about our role as yoga teachers, and that is to "reflect the inherent goodness in people back to them".  I know that I was looking for people to reflect that back to me in my search for community, and when I turned it away from me and began to focus on how to serve others, that's when it happened. By shining my own light, other people's  radiant nature came flooding back to me.

My wish is may all of us shine our lights brightly, attract those who do the same and offer our hearts to the larger community. May this year be one of great peace and ease. And may we continue to find our individual way with support from those around us.