Non-Negotiable

Last week we took some time to look at our "why", the driving force behind what motivates us to do certain things. It began with the story about someone writing their eulogy and realizing that what they had written wasn't aligning with how they were currently living. This awakening led them to make significant changes by setting intentions of slowing down and living a more purposeful life. Once we realize what's really important to us in the long run, do we have the discipline to enact and, moreover, stick to daily rituals that connect us to our why?

We are constantly engaged in a dynamic daily shift of experiences and this topic is purposefully timed to coincide with the holiday season, sometimes nicknamed the "silly season". We hear people saying they're going to try and "survive" the holidays which sounds not only combative but truly exhausting. Wouldn't it be refreshing to set an intention of ease and peace during this time of year? So this weeks thought is twofold: 

1. What do we need to do daily to keep us from capsizing when life gets overly full?

2. What do we have in place that keeps us connected to our larger life's "why", those things that provide the rich soil for our lives?

In a recent interview, Courtney Carver from Be More With Less spoke about three non-negotiables that she has for those times when the "tilt" happens. The tilt is a period of time in which we know that our schedules are over-scheduled and we may be burning the candle at both ends. We are quite adaptable creatures and can sustain the tilt for short periods, such as the holiday season or running a major event, but know that over the long haul, being tilted will eventually lead us to tipping over the edge. During these times, Courtney ensures that she: 1) gets sufficient sleep; 2) eats nourishing whole foods; and 3) meditates daily. 

My personal list of non-negotiables is 1) getting sufficient sleep, and 2) daily meditation. Those two things are at the top of the pile and have been at the top over the past several years as I have found them to be the ballast of equanimity all year long. Close to the top of the list with a bit more wiggle room are: moving my body, being mindful of nourishing myself with whole foods; and getting out in nature, including putting my hands in the dirt and feet in the sand. When I connect into that inner sanctuary, not only does it feed my own soul and keep me connected to my larger purpose in life, but it makes me a nicer person to be around. I know that hungry + tired = cranky, so keeping things in place leads to greater ease for all.

As we enter this holiday season, perhaps we can set the intention to be more present rather than stress about giving the perfect presents. Perhaps we can honor the rhythm of the Northern Hemisphere as we approach the winter solstice to give ourselves some time to hibernate and rejuvenate and in the Southern Hemisphere, to get outside and touch the earth. Perhaps we can put the wide angle lens on the camera of our life and look at the big picture, to slow down, take a deep breath and truly savor rather than survive this time of year. In the end, what has impact and adds quality to our lives are the experiences we create more than the stuff we give or get. So remember what's important to you, to connect to your why, for not only this time of year, but as the mantra of how you want to live and honor those couple of things that help you stay on track and make it manifest.

Now take a deep breath and do something that feeds your soul...no negotiating!

What's Your Why?

Over the next two weeks, we'll be exploring two connected concepts-What's Your Why? and Non-Negotiables. These two ideas are linked as once we truly know what motivates us, we begin to put non-negotiables in place to support us staying on track. My thinking about the timing of these two topics has been inspired by the approaching holiday season and all of the things that trip us up during this time. It's as though we enter into expectations that have been built up over a lifetime. 

When I was growing up, our Mom always made a huge effort to create a memorable Christmas holiday. She spent hours shopping and finding things that were just right for us four kids...nobody got more than anyone else, the tree was always trimmed, the presents beautifully wrapped, and Christmas morning Santa always delivered something special into our stockings. As a kid, I loved this time of year and, as I grew older, I realized that what was magical for me triggered an enormous stress response in my mother. Even in the past few years, this time of year flipped the stress trigger for Mom even though she had been an empty-nester for years. It's the expectations that we hold that can bring us less than a happy holiday, so in anticipation of being pushed off center during the holiday season, now is the perfect time to look at a deeper sense of our "why".

I love listening to Brooke and Ben McAlary of the Slow Home Podcast, who prompted this idea of finding our why. As part of a re-entry into her writing, Brooke randomly opened a book about things that spark ideas and inspire us to write and landed on the page that asked to write her own eulogy in three sentences. After many attempts and re-writes, she realized that the eulogy she wanted wasn't lining up with how she was living in that moment. In order for her to create her dream eulogy, she realized that something needed to change. As she began to uncover her why she started to put things into place to support a deeper intention.

I know that a large part of my why is to contribute to a more compassionate world, not only for myself but in actions toward other beings (human and otherwise) and toward Mother Earth. I use the lens of yoga to do my work in the world which is to share as much as I know and to support others in finding greater ease and balance in their lives. Another motivating why is to be of service to others, in whatever form that may take, whether it be through fundraising, raising consciousness, or lending a helping hand. I had a very real moment many years back as I began to transition fully into teaching yoga. I recognized that I needed to have experienced what I was asking of my students. It was important to be living from a yogic perspective in order for me to authentically share it with others. I didn't want to be a person who spoke the words during class and then acted differently once outside the doors. And this why shaped certain behaviors that over time have evolved into being my non-negotiables, such as a morning meditation practice and a commitment to writing.

Your why may be, and probably is, quite different to mine but perhaps you use the practices of yoga as a support to being more present and grounded in your why. Another example of taking action based on your intentions can be something as simple as bringing your own shopping bags to stores, or investing in multi-use containers for beverages and food, rather than single-use items. The why is that perhaps we no longer wish to contribute to excess plastic in landfills or in the ocean and the result is that we consciously use multi-use items.

As you approach this holiday season, ask yourself why you might feel compelled to be busy during this time and see if it aligns with how you wish to be in the world. I am grateful to all of you who take the time to connect with me through this blog and in our ever-expanding yoga community. May those of you who celebrate the Thanksgiving holiday spend it with love in your heart surrounded by those you love.

All Blocked Up

The other day a yoga student was suffering from seasonal allergies. They were all stuffed up, breathing through their mouth, and kept stepping off their mat to blow their nose. They were all blocked up...which led me to thinking about how we can be blocked not only on a physical level (cold, allergies, muscular cramp or atherosclerosis) but we can also get stuck on a mental, emotional and spiritual level of our being. And the perfect antidote? Yoga of course!

If you're a regular reader of this blog, then this news won't be earth-shattering. According to the Sutras of Patanjali, an ancient Indian text with 196 aphorisms expounding the practice of yoga, describes in the second chapter (pada) that yoga has eight limbs. And only one of those limbs talks about yoga as a physical practice. Yep...just one. When I first learned this, I think my jaw dropped a bit as I knew there was much I didn't know about yoga, but my initial image was that it was another form of movement or exercise and had this potential to help create calmer states. And all of that was true, but it was also a naive viewpoint as I was missing seven of the eight limbs and thus also missing much of the magic that renders yoga a diverse and deeply enriching experience.

To reiterate, the eight limbs are:

1. Yama - Self-awareness, internal observations. The five Yamas are: Non-Harming, Truthfulness, Non-stealing, Moderation, and Non-Possessiveness.

2. Niyama - Ethical Principles. The five Niyamas are: Self-Purification, Contentment, Self-Discipline, Self-Study, and Surrender.

3. Asana - Translated as pose or posture. Literally as "a comfortable seat".

4. Pranayama - Breath awareness and control.

5. Pratyahara - Withdrawal of the senses.

6. Dharana - Concentration

7. Dhyana - Meditation

8. Samadhi - Merging with Divine Consciousness or Enlightenment.

One way to check in with ourselves is through the reflection, study, and application of the eight limbs. If we've only been focusing on the physical practice by doing poses, we have an opportunity to create greater harmony in ourselves by practicing the other seven branches. For my personal growth in yoga, I was well acquainted with the physical part of the practice and something deeper within me was asking for a more soulful exploration of my place in the world. The eight-limbs provided this framework and still do.

So if you think you've got blockages that are keeping you out of balance, how do you find them and do something about it? This past week in classes we've been checking in with our seven energy centers known as the chakras (meaning "wheel" in Sanskrit). You too can go through the below visualization and notice your answers to each of the questions. Notice how well you're able to sense or visualize the colors and what answers pop up with each question. Try to do so without judgment by bringing a curiosity to the exploration.

Find a comfortable position, preferably lying down with your body comfortably supported. Connect to a few deep breaths, imagining the inhaling breath starting at the base of the spine and rising to the crown of the head along the back channel of the body. On the exhale, simply let the breath go. Then bring your awareness to each of the energy centers and ask yourself the following questions:

Base (Muladhara) Chakra - At the base of the spine, this is the root/base energy center. Do I feel safe? Am I grounded? Do I feel connected to community/tribe? Can I imagine a RED sphere of light in this area?

Sacral (Svadisthana) Chakra - Located along the spine behind the navel center. Do my emotions flow easily through me? Do I feel adaptable, like water? Can I imagine an ORANGE sphere of light?

Solar Plexus (Manipura) Chakra - Located in the solar plexus of the upper abdomen. Can I stand up for myself? Do I feel empowered in my life? How is my self-esteem? Can I imagine a YELLOW sphere of light?

Heart (Anahata) Chakra - Located in the heart region. Do I give and receive love? Am I living my life from a place of compassion for myself, all beings, and Mother Earth? Do I need to forgive someone? Can I imagine a GREEN sphere of light in this area?

Throat (Visuddha) Chakra - Located in the throat. Can I speak my truth? Am I biting my tongue? Do words get stuck in my throat? Am I creating the life I wish to live? Can I imagine a BLUE sphere of light in this area?

Third Eye (Ajna) Chakra -  Located between the eyebrows on the forehead. Do I trust my intuition? Am I listening to my inner wisdom? Can I imagine an INDIGO sphere of light here?

Crown (Sahasrara) Chakra - Located at the top of the head. Do I feel part of something bigger? What am I doing to deepen my level of consciousness? Am I able to surrender to a higher sense or power? Can I imagine a brilliant WHITE/VIOLET sphere of light here?

Notice if any particular area felt dull or if the questions piqued your interest. This may be an area that needs to be opened up and/or cleared. Focus a few deep breaths into that particular area and take some time to explore what arose during your experience.

We know that all of these practices take time and what we experience one day may be quite different a week later. Thankfully, we have the structure of the Yoga Sutras and the practices of yoga to help us find our way. In these challenging times, spending some energy bringing harmony into our own selves is time well spent.

Happy clearing!

Show Up

You've arrived. You're sitting on your yoga mat a few minutes before the class is scheduled to begin. As you sit, you look around at the other people arriving and settling onto their mats. Perhaps you're feeling a bit anxious about what lays ahead. You look at the person a couple of mats over and think, "Wow, they look like they know what they're doing...I wonder if I'll ever look like that." Perhaps you're wondering if this is where you actually want to be, as there are so many other options available to you at this time. I mean, you did have to say "no" to something else in order to just get here in time. Is it worth it?

As I sat in contemplation on Sunday afternoon, thinking about what I would talk about in the upcoming week, I wasn't struck with any seemingly brilliant sparks of inspiration. So, I reflected back into the types of conversations I had been having with people and it seemed that one common theme was that of simply showing up. It can be truly challenging to make a commitment to something on a regular basis and stick with it. In order to understand our drive to being there in the first place, understanding why is a first step. 

What is it that brings you to the mat or meditation cushion? 
For so many, the initial impetus is finding a way to stretch and strengthen our body. Another is to search for a way to manage the everyday stresses in our lives. These are great reasons to come into a practice of yoga or meditation. Another reason is to truly get a deeper understanding of ourselves.

When we show up on the mat it has a double effect. The first is the experience that we have during the practice. We can breathe, stretch deeply, slow down, and perhaps gain some insights we hadn't connected to previously. And the second is the effect that occurs when we step off the mat and back out into the world. What we do on the mat supports us in showing up in our lives. Students in my classes might have heard me say that when we go to a class it's as though we're stepping into our own laboratory. It's where we experiment, where we try things out or perhaps taking a bigger risk into something unknown. It's easy to find deeper relaxation, a quieter mind, and deep breathing in a beautifully controlled environment which is climate controlled, filled with props to support and pad us, as well as a lovely and often high tech yoga mat to step onto. The teacher guides us through progressions and visualizations to help accelerate a particular experience, often with a focused intention. 

The "real" yoga begins when the class is over and we head outside of the lab. We come face-to-face with the world, which, after a good yoga class or session of meditation, appears as though everyone we come across is about as far away from enlightenment that a person could get! It's enough to knock us out of our post-savasana haze into the cruel "realities" of daily life. One of the most unexpected gifts I've received from practicing yoga and meditation is a sense of softness with the world. When I see anger, frustration, rage, or deep sadness in others, I can more easily see through the suffering that has caused it. I continue to practice offering kindness to myself on my mat so that I can step out into the big bad world and try it out on others. 

It's a practice. It's challenging. It often makes us feel vulnerable to expose ourselves a bit more fully than we have previously. As Brené Brown, (Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead) says:

"The willingness to show up changes us. It makes us a little braver each time." 

So my thought of the week is to applaud all of you who take the time to read this, to those of you who set the intention of showing up in your practice, and to those who come back, again and again, trusting that what we create in the lab stays with us as we venture out.

Thank you for showing up!

Difficult Simplicity

One of the gifts I have received over the many years of teaching is that of an ever-expanding community. Each week I get emails from people, locally and globally, particularly from people in Australia and Canada. So, it's a really cool thing when someone I have worked with in one of those locations sends me a message about their practice. One of the main intentions I had years back in starting an email list was to stay connected to people I wasn't able to see year round, so it's deeply gratifying to stay in a role of supporting people on their yogic journey.

Such an incident happened this past week which was the catalyst for my thought of the week-Difficult Simplicity. A student who I've been working with in Australia over the past few years has made tremendous progress in their daily meditation practice and was beginning to wonder if these gains had evaporated due to a recent bout of thoughts pulling him all over the place. He likened his experience to the Sharon Salzberg metaphor of sitting on the banks of a river (meditation) with boats floating down the river (our thoughts)...and realizing that sometimes we find ourselves on the boat without knowing how we got there in the first place. My student said that he had an entire "flotilla" of thoughts floating down the river and was doubting his ability and the gains he had been making. Here was my reply to him:

Sometimes what we need to be reminded of pops up in front of us just at the right time. These are turbulent times...it's truly a challenge to find our center and, in that, to realize that there is no loss of gains as this present moment is the only one that truly has power. It's the difficult simplicity of that...remembering to be exactly where we're at. I am constantly being reminded to focus on my own path, to keep my eyes within my vision as the moment I start looking outside to what this or that person is doing, I question my own journey. I love being reminded to stay within my own heart. 

But it ain't easy!

It seems to be a human condition that we like to make things more complicated then they need to be. Confucius, who died in 479 BC, said, "Life is simple, but we insist on making it more complicated". And Henry David Thoreau (who died in 1862) said "Life is frittered away by detail. Simplify. Simplify." What these two people and statements have in common is that they recognized how we like to make things harder than they need to be and, in the process, we create more suffering than is necessary. And both of these people didn't have iPhones or advanced technologies to add to the complexity and yet, they still recognized the human condition of busyness and complication, supporting the notion of simplification.

If we explore the path of yoga and meditation, it can sound quite basic. Can you find how your breath is moving in/out of your body? Can you relax any tension found in your body? Can you come back to present moment awareness? Do you carve out 10-minutes/day to sit in contemplation? Do you have non-negotiable "me time" scheduled every day? It sounds simple, right? Well, the ideas may be simple, but that doesn't mean they're easy. So many people I come across find it challenging to answer the above questions. It's as though carving out time to look inward is the last thing on the to-do list, I mean, most of us are just trying to get through the day with our basic needs being met along the way.  And this is the difficult part of these simple practices. We are challenged to make it a priority and when we do take the time it can feel selfish and "unproductive".  Sometimes when we make the effort, it's anything but zen-like so it can feel discouraging. We're seeking inner calm and we come face-to-face with our inner storm instead.

This is why we need people to support us along the path. To reflect back their own and others experiences of turbulence, which is a normal part of awakening consciousness. We want to take a look at the long-range forecast, not tomorrow's prediction, as this practice deepens over countless times of coming to it on and off the mat or cushion. It sounds simple and parts of it are, but that doesn't make it easy. My thought this week is to honor the idea that being human, we have a tendency to make it harder and more complex than may be required. To hold patience in our hearts every time we step onto our mats, releasing expectations as to what may happen or what experiences we may have previously had. To know that the difficulties we face in the practice bring us more mental and spiritual agility for when things get even more challenging in our daily lives. Yes...it's simple and difficult. And we can trust those who have gone before us that the ride is worth it

Quiet Mind

Sunday afternoon I sat in the afterglow of the weekend's events. We celebrated the graduation of my yoga teacher trainees following the completion of their 200-hour course. We'd been working together for eight months and it was a feeling similar to having planned a big event that was now complete- exhilarating and exhausting! With all of the crazy news of natural disasters, violence in the world, and a full workload, I realized that what I needed to bring energy to this week was a quiet mind.

So many people who come to class, when asked what they need for that day, often reply "To relax", "I need a new brain", "To just be here...so anything you do will be good!" Of course, one reason we come to the mat is to connect to our body in a loving way and another reason is to help manage the daily stressors we face in life. So often we find ourselves spinning with what seem uncontrollable and rampant rogue thoughts...they just keep coming. In the meditation and yoga worlds, these out-of-control thoughts are often described as having a "monkey-mind" or more appropriately, "a drunken-monkey who's been stung by a scorpion!" And it seems that these thoughts love to arrive around 2-4 AM, keeping us awake as we toss and turn, seemingly unable to "stop thinking".

One way that we can begin to find a quieter mind is to understand the nature of the mind. Just as the heart beats, the mind thinks. If we wanted to ask the heart to stop beating, it wouldn't. Its job is to dictate and respond to the rhythm of our lives from beginning to end. And just as the heart's nature is to beat, the mind's nature is to think. We do ourselves a tremendous disservice when we think that in order to find a quiet mind we must stop thinking-it's not going to happen, even with the most practiced of meditators.

Instead, we practice by not attaching ourselves to all of those thoughts.  Buddhist meditation teacher, Sharon Salzberg, shares the metaphor of meditation as follows: "You're sitting on a riverbank, watching boats float down the river. Being on the bank represents being in meditation. Then, without knowing how, all of a sudden you're on one of the boats. You begin to think, how did I get on this boat? I wonder where it's going? Does it have a captain? Are there snacks? Being on the boats represents thoughts and how we've attached to them. The magical moment is when we realize that we're on the boat. We can now awaken and recognize that we can get off the boat and put ourselves back on the bank". And, of course, this takes practice.

Another way of shifting our thoughts is through the practice of "Citta Bhavana", or moving the mind. In this practice, you can create any state of mind you would like to cultivate, according to Kelly McGonigal, Ph.D. In order to do this, we bring to mind a memory of the state we seek, such as deep relaxation or connection to something greater. Once we find that memory, we recreate as much of the feeling of that memory as possible: Where were you? What was the light like? Were you alone? How was your posture? Were there any sounds or smells? Really bring what this experience felt like and locate where you're feeling this in your body. Then...let the memory go and stay with the feeling of it.

Most recently, I had this feeling of deep peace and inner stillness while at Sanctuary Retreat in Far North Queensland. I had been teaching for a few days and was back in my cabin. My husband, Ed, had gone up to the longhouse as it was getting close to dinner. The sun had set and the rainforest was growing dark. I had the screen door closed and as I sat on the bed, I realized I didn't need to do anything. I didn't need to review the day or plan ahead for the next, but to simply be present. As I closed my eyes, I simply listened to the sound of the evening frogs and crickets, feeling the light breeze pass over my skin created by the ceiling fan overhead. A deep sense of connection and peace arose and I could feel myself being part of the beautiful and simple moment of connecting to nature. As I conjure up this memory once again, I can sense the tension releasing from my forehead and my shoulders relaxing. This is a form of Citta Bhavana...creating the desired state of deep relaxation and connection. I was able to find my quiet mind as I do now in simply writing this.

So if you find you've been hijacked by a monkey mind and it's drawing you away from how you wish to be, remember that you have some options in shifting the current state. Get off the boat and head back to the bank or step into the memory bank of past desirable states of mind. After all, you are the captain of your own ship!

No Mud, No Lotus

Sometimes I'm not quite certain where inspiration will come from as I look for my weekly thought and theme for classes. Next week marks the celebration of Diwali, a 5-day celebration of lights in India. It's a big deal and I would love to be there one of these years to see it in full action. So, I began to think about light as I contemplated my weekly theme which led me to think about darkness. It seems that the past several weeks have been rife with tragic events: hurricanes, mass shootings, and deadly fires in the public realm, and a host of other occurrences in my own personal sphere. I kept wondering what my thought of the week would be, but unfortunately, the difficulties that are present are good fodder for spiritual growth and teaching.

As I thought about darkness and light, I recognized that it's the darkness that gives more power to the light. I love to head out on early morning bicycle rides, right at dawn just before the sun peaks over the horizon. Some mornings it's a striking pink and orange, others just a lightening of the sky. But it's when the sun first strikes the local mountains that always takes my breath away...they ignite in an earthy pink and it's the preceding darkness that makes it so powerful.

When we have the contrast, the light seems more effulgent. I once heard a powerful statement that "our hearts break open so the light can get in." The dark times that we experience are a natural part of living and further along this thought inquiry, I remembered the saying popularized by the Buddhist monk, Thich Nhat Hanh, "No Mud, No Lotus". What this basically means is that the radiant and stunning lotus flower is anchored in pond water which is often muddy, murky, and lacks clarity. Yet, the flower buds, rising up through the muck and mire to blossom on the water's surface into its full beauty, apparently untainted by the muddy waters. Yet, it needs the mud, as it's the mud that provides the soil for the anchor of the flower and gives it nourishment to grow into its full potential. And once the lotus comes to the end of its bloom, it returns to the mud and becomes compost...readying the soil for the next cycle.

So, in a sens, we need the mud even when it feels like the only thing that exists is the mud itself. We can feel covered by it, unable to recognize the inherent and always present beauty that is ready to awaken. And boy, it seems like there's been so much mud of late!

This week has evolved into thinking about our own inner radiance and when things get murky, we turn back into ourselves with practices of loving kindness. And when we connect into our inner light, we recognize that it's the same light that all beings have within them. The mantra, "Om Mani Padme Hum" is related to this week's theme and is often translated as "the jewel inside the heart of the lotus".  This well-known mantra reminds us that lying within our own hearts, within our own lotus is a multi-faceted jewel. When the light shines onto the jewel, it reflects and refracts the light in a way that is unique to us, our individual selves. The same light will manifest in a different way for all beings, but the source in common is the same light. We connect to our inner radiance with this unique gem sitting in the center of who we are. When the conditions are right and we manifest the metaphor of the lotus, we realize that although we may look different, we are inherently connected.

During these dark and muddy times, it's even more powerful for us to connect to each other and to shine light into the darkness of others. In the process, we know that the mud is a reflection of our challenges, but without it, the beauty of the lotus is unable to manifest. So let's tenderly and with tremendous compassion, honor the suffering within ourselves and to all beings. Let's honor the mud for it brings us into the light and beauty of all that we are.