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Inspired by a conversation with a friend, one whom I regard as a top medical professional and who keeps her finger on the pulse and always working from a place of compassion, I realized that if they didn't have straight-forward answers, one probably doesn't exist. Rats. I was hoping for that golden nugget of info to provide a more solid sense of direction and answers to my questions. You know, the same questions so many of us are having: Is it safe to re-open? Will people show up to the business if I do? Will I be at great risk? Will people have to wear a mask during a yoga class? Should I get tested? If yes, how often? What does this all mean? What is the meaning of life?
Okay, well maybe not that last question, but I recognize that without easy answers our stress levels will likely continue to rise.
So, as I often do when faced with difficulty, I turn to my practice. This week I have been teaching about finding ease within the moment, even if we don't have easy answers by looking for the sweet spot of experience in both the physical and meditative parts of our practice. Looking to the Sutras of Patanjali, 2:46 seems the perfect aphorism to place our focus. Sthira Sukham Asanam which according to T.K.V Desikachar means: "Asana must have the dual qualities of alertness and relaxation. When postures are properly practiced there must be an alertness without tension and relaxation without dullness or heaviness." In other words, a balance of tension exists between trying too hard or not hard enough.
For many of us, this concept of not trying too hard is quite foreign. It wasn't until I delved in the practice of yoga that it was suggested that I "do less and back off from trying so hard..." It had been deeply ingrained in me that in order to achieve "results" I needed to tolerate some level of discomfort and suffering. So the idea of finding ease when things are difficult is something I've been trying to learn.
We can get to know this notion through our physical practice. If I harken back to my early physical education studies, we learned about gross motor movement. For example,
when we first learn downward facing dog in yoga, we are taught to have our hips and hands about shoulder-width, pressing into the hands as we lift our knees from the earth and our tail toward the sky, ending up in a "V" like shape. Yep...the basic mechanics of how to create a shape with the body to resemble the desired pose. Over time and with consistent practice, we refine the pose and our sensations associated with it. We begin to move toward fine motor skills, where a small adjustment of the position of the mound of our index finger, or slight outward turning of our heels alters the experience. We can feel the subtleties that take us more deeply into the language of our body and notice how the mind and breath are reacting. We learn to adjust our position in order to find the sweet place between how much effort is needed and where we can let go of striving to make it different or "better".
I've been encouraging students this past week to embody the energy of Goldilocks (not the bit about her breaking into the bears' house and messing with their stuff) but around finding "just right". If your proverbial Papa Bear's bed is too hard or Baby Bear's bed too soft, fine-tune your experience toward Mama Bear's bed. How that translates is paying attention to your experience and inviting both sense of ease and applying the "just right" amount of effort.
On a final note, also notice that when we ask questions we turn outside of ourselves. Take some time to get quiet and turn into yourself and ask, "What is it that I'm needing?" You might be surprised that the easiest answer is laying within.
I've done the math. Each year, we have the opportunity to see 12 full moons and every seven years or so we get 13. I'm 57 years old which means I've had the opportunity to view approximately 687 full moons. Now given that I probably paid no attention to the moon in the first couple of decades of life and not every full moon is visible either because of clouds, my sleep patterns, or forgetfulness, the number decreases significantly. I can remember certain full moons with my favorite one being at the Desert Trip music festival as a harvest moon rose behind the stage as Neil Young was singing Harvest Moon...this one is etched in my "ooh ahh" memory book forever!
It is said that we see what we are manifesting and creating in life by the light of the full moon and what is present is what we planted previously during a New Moon. The moon also has no source of light but is simply reflecting the light of the sun...it's showing us the brilliance from another source. Its energy is thought to be cool and feminine, hence, the menstrual cycle is often referred to as the "Moon Cycle". And in a vinyasa flow yoga class, we'll sometimes practice "Moon Salutes" (Chandra Namaskar) which are more gentle, slower, and perhaps more "cooling" than the fiery, masculine Sun Salutes (Surya Namaskar).
How this relates to this week's theme is through the concept of impermanence. Each time I've seen a full moon, it has never been exactly the same. The color, position, time of day, and amount of exposure varies. If we stepped out every night to check out the moon, it would look different every time. It reminds us that life moves in cycles which is exactly the reminder I needed this past week...that this Covid-19 impacted time is also impermanent. It won't be like it is now, forever, although, at times, social isolation feels interminable.
The cool thing about this week's full moon is that it's the last "Super Moon" we'll have in 2020, meaning its position is relatively close to Earth. It's also a Super Moon in Scorpio, also called the "Buddha Moon", as it is thought that the Buddha was born, became enlightened, and died under such a moon. This Super Scorpio Moon is also affecting the tides due to gravitational forces between the Sun, Moon, and Earth. As I sat with the many puzzle pieces of this time and felt into the emotional temperature of myself and others, this week is not only about impermanence but about the element of water.
The second Chakra, known as the Svadistana Chakra, has the element of water and is connected to emotions, sensuality, sexuality, and a form of physical creativity. So, as our moods are pushed around by our current situation and with the presence of a powerful moon, it felt completely right to think of how things in life are constantly changing. A quote from Lion's Roar, a Buddhist magazine, stated that "Change is always both good and bad, because change, even when it's refreshing, always entails loss."
Our current times have created an epic shift in people's lives on a global scale. Some of the changes feel invigorating to me with a re-imagining of my business model, thinking from a different perspective, seeing the fruits of my yoga practice supporting me during a difficult time, and observing a burst of beauty and abundance in the natural environment. Yet at the same time, I sense loss. I haven't been able to hug my Mom or friends in two months or hand graduating certificates to my Yoga Teacher trainees. My travel plans for the summer are likely altered and I can't just "pop" into the store to pick up something on my way home. Yet at the same time, I feel incredibly grateful to be able to keep working and connecting to my purpose on a daily basis. I have safety and food and massive amounts of love.
Yep...it's an emotional time, even if we don't quite know how to articulate what we're feeling.
This week has been about reminding ourselves about a few things. This too shall pass. All emotions are valid. Notice when you're getting caught up in an emotional loop that becomes destructive and come to your practice to help shift things. Show up for yourself and know that self-care starts with believing in your own value. Breathe...deeply, slowly, and often.
And finally, go outside, put your feet on the earth and take some time to soak in the beauty of the moon. She'll show you a different phase every time and remind you of the present moment and to trust the unfolding of a different ending tomorrow.
When my husband and I traveled to Japan in 2016, we had the cool experience of taking the bullet train, rapidly from city to city. As I peered out the windows, towns, and countryside would be whizzing past, so much so, it was difficult to truly see anything with clarity...it was all a blur. And that's what it feels like when my mind begins to spin out. It's as though I've hopped back onto one of those bullet trains and am rushing into out of control thoughts. The latest notice for me is when I begin to think about the future. If I hop on that train, whoosh! Off I go into the imaginary future of what might, could, should happen. And at the same time, I have little idea as to what will actually happen but I insist on riding the train for a little bit longer.
Thinking about the future and trying to plan for it isn't an undesirable thing. At the moment, I'm re-imagining what my business model looks like. After seven weeks of teaching online via Zoom and having my physical yoga studio closed, it seems prudent to think about the future and how I might serve others and what form does that take? I know I want to keep offering my services and, thus far, it has been serving both me and my students. The time to get off the speeding train is when I go too far out and imagine all that could happen. Will people get Zoom burn-out and stop showing up? Will I be able to keep the business going? Will I burn out without the in-person feedback from students and interaction with others? What will our busy season look like? Will the snowbirds flock back or is this the way it's going to be for...blah, blah, blah. GET OFF THE TRAIN before it begins to create more suffering.
Thank goodness for the compass of a yoga practice, one that's been built over a couple of decades, creating a firm footing for my unsteady mind meanderings. What helps us disembark the wayward train is turning to what supports us. This week we have turned to the Sutras of Patanjali, 196 aphorisms that succinctly support us in taking action in finding greater ease and peacefulness in our lives. In particular, the Sutra smack dab in the beginning of the discourse, Sutra 1:2 - Yogas Citta Vrtti Nirodha. The translation that resonates with me for this Sutra is, "Yoga requires the calming of the fluctuations of the mind". The keyword in that sentence is requires. In other words, in order for us to be in a state of harmony/union (yoga), our minds must be calm and the mental agitations (vrttis) need to lessen. If our minds aren't calm, the other aspects of who we are also out of balance--body, emotions, and spirit aren't in a state of equanimity and a state of disconnection are present.
Thankfully, the other magical dose within the Sutras is the way we can practice achieving more and more states of ease through undertaking things such as yoga poses, breath work, turning inward, concentration and mindfulness as well as becoming more aware of how we act in our world (think compassion, truthfulness, appreciating abundance) and evolve in our individual selves (think continued study, disciplined effort, and contentment).
One of the keys to understanding where to launch into our practice is to open awareness to what's triggering the imbalance in the first place. I hop on the mind train in thinking about the future and wanting to be able to control outcomes. Others have expressed their challenges during these challenging times--- loud noises; worry about what's next and not knowing; loss of control and conditions where the outcome is unknown; too much news; everything all at once; thinking about the future of the younger generations; being stuck in the house; health and pain; being effective in the new normal for family, clients, and friends; trying to be all to everyone; trying to fix everything, and being unable to do anything to change the course of events.
Yep...it seems as though there's an endless list of things to worry about. So this week, simply notice when these thoughts are no longer serving you and ask yourself, "What can I do to bring myself back into this present moment?" Do I need to move my body, take some deep breaths, undertake a creative project, speak to a supportive and inspiring friend, acknowledge my gratitude's, or simply sit quietly? Perhaps all of these will help but one thing for certain is that consistently coming into your practice will likely tap into all of these areas.
When you find yourself spinning out, place your hand on your heart and say, "I am in my heart...listening. Listening."
It's been 50 years since Earth Day's inception. Yep, in 1970 environmental activists wanted cleaner air and water which resulted in the creation of both the Clean Air Act and the Environmental Protection Agency. As someone recently shared a photo of 1970's New York City, these steps have greatly improved air quality as NYC had previously been shrouded in a polluted haze. We know that the state of California has the highest emission standards in the country because people want to breathe clean air rather than damage their respiratory system with a polluted environment. Yet, we know it's not enough. We can do better and instead of celebrating Earth Day, it's time we truly fight for it.
This week's theme wasn't solely inspired by Earth Day, but by two separate interviews linking the environment to the current Covid-19 pandemic. One was by Tim Ferriss with Dr. Jane Goodall, (podcast link is here) and the other was an interview on The New Yorker Radio hour with Bill McKibben and Elizabeth Kolbert. What these two interviews had in common was the idea that if the planet is sick, so too will be the beings who inhabit it. If we wish to have healthy lives, it's imperative that the planet is healthy. One of the challenges has been human beings encroaching on the habitats of entire ecosystems, not only disrupting them but placing us at risk for sharing diseases. As humans pursue more land, oil, and resources we are bumping up against and destroying habitat.
One of the most inspirational messages that Jane Goodall shares are that each individual matters. How we act individually doesn't tip the scales in any significant way, yet how we collectively act does. So the choices I'm making on a daily basis combined with the choices other individuals are making creates a synergistic power which is one of significance. This idea ties into last week's theme of Indra's Net (click here if you missed it), that all beings are linked together through an energetic web and what happens with a single point in the web affects all other points.
It seems trite to say that these are challenging times and I can't help but experience a sense of sadness and inertia regarding all of it. I notice that as human beings have withdrawn into their "cages and caves", Mother Earth seems to be enjoying the respite. Skies are clear, waterways seem cleaner and even the local suburban wildlife seems to be out frolicking. As Evo Morales said, "What mankind must know is that human beings cannot live without Mother Earth, but the planet can live without humans." I think to myself, why can't it always be like this? What will happen when we are freed from our self-captivity? Will we simply emerge and go back to doing the same things as before or is this a time of awakening?
Perhaps one lesson we're learning is that if our basic needs are being met, we really don't need much else. Our society encourages us to acquire more and more and we are an indebted society. What we really need is less and less. All of this has an immediate impact on the health of not only our planet but our psyche. All of this consumption leads to a sicker planet and if we circle back to the initial thought, it will lead to sicker humans living on the planet.
During this time when Mother Earth is getting a much needed planetary rest, we can also give ourselves permission to do the same. Can we simply be? Can we more deeply experience a pause in what we have always known to be true (life pre-COVID) and entertain the idea of putting our bare feet on the earth and giving back to her?
What are you doing to say thank you to Mother Earth? How are you keeping yourself grounded during this time? And when we're finally released back "out there", what will you have learned and do differently?
I'm curious as to what comes to mind in reading this. Please feel free to share. You can email me here.
Until then, let the energy of the Mother of all mothers seep more deeply into your bones. Moon and stargaze. Walk barefoot on the earth. Dig your hands into the soil. Let the wind touch your exposed skin. Smell spring in the air. Feel the sun warming your back. Look to open and moving bodies of water. It's time to get grounded and get grateful.
Thank you, Mother Earth.
As I sit writing this week's blog, I am alone in my yoga studio. Just me, a lot of space and a bunch of props hanging out. I'm here in order to broadcast live online classes and I'm grateful that it's been going really well. I am doing what millions of others are doing throughout the world...distancing myself from others in order to decrease the spread of COVID-19. I leave my house in the morning, drive alone to the studio, open the door, then turn around and lock the door and spend my days working in an odd space of solitude...yet not really. Every time I launch a Zoom meeting, I am once again connecting to everyone else on the call. And I can feel the connection.
In this era of physical distancing, many people might be feeling quite alone and isolated. Perhaps the only physical connection is with whom you're living with and those brief encounters when we venture out to get food, medication, or other essentials, and in those situations, we're keeping away from one another. One thing that is definitely amiss is physical touch...no hugging, patting each other on the back, or offering a compassionate pat on the shoulder. It's easy to understand how people can feel disconnected.
This week's theme is to remind ourselves that physical connection is important and needed, yet it is not the only way we link ourselves to others. Being yoga practitioners we know that we are more than a physical body and possess layers and different expressions of who we are. The idea of interdependence began back in 557-640 B.C.E. with a concept called Indra's Net put forth by a Buddhist monk named Tu Shun. The idea is that we are all connected through a metaphysical energetic grid and at each junction within this web, lays a jewel that reflects the light and energy of any of the other jewels within the web. Every jewel represents an individual life form, atom, cell, or unit of consciousness and, in turn, is intrinsically and intimately connected to all the others. Hence, a change in one gem is reflected in all others. Or as Leonardo da Vinci said, "Learn how to see. Realize that everything connects to everything else."
Over the past week, I have noticed an emerging conversation about polarities during this time. On one side of the COVID-continuum are those who are deciding when to binge-watch their favorite series on Netflix and on the other side are those wondering how they'll pay their bills or get enough to eat. At the time of this writing, approximately 22 million Americans have filed for unemployment benefits translating into a massive shift of people who might be suffering due to uncertainty, loss of income, a lack of purpose, and grief. And according to Indra's Net, we are connected to their suffering and they are connected to our good fortune. We are not isolated in this matter, perhaps physically but not otherwise. This is a time for deepening empathy and compassion, where our actions can greatly support or detract from the entire energetic network.
My thought of the week is to think about the experiences of other people and, if possible, begin manifesting support for them, particularly if we are finding ourselves in a fortunate position. One way to do this, as I have often said, is to begin within. When we connect into what it is that we need, into finding self-love and compassion, we fill up a well that begins to overflow to others. The collective consciousness is a powerful resource for sending "good vibes" to those who are sitting in places of darkness and sorrow. By switching on our own light and intentionally offering this to others, we prime Indra's web of connectivity by raising not only our own vibration, but that of all beings everywhere.
May the merits of my practice not only benefit myself, but all beings everywhere is a layer I've been adding into our group practices. By opening this channel in the realm of social distancing, perhaps we uncover other ways to help our human family. Once our own basic needs have been met, we are then in a stronger position to support the needs of others.
May the light of my own heart, ignite the light within yours.
These times are tough...on so many levels. We have just completed our first month in social distancing due to Covid-19 and looking ahead is a difficult place to imagine. Who knows when this will end and when it does, what will life look like?
As we ride the waves of uncertainty, one thing that is happening is inspiration and creativity sparking in all kinds of ways. The theme this week was found as I was surfing Facebook and saw a friend's poem that she had written in May 2018. As I read it, I was blown away by how relevant her words sounded for our current self-isolating, lack-of-control situation. It seems as though many wise words, some written ages ago, are holding a powerful truth for the current moment. The writer of the poem, Noelle Rollins, wrote it on the final day of a pilgrimage she did in Ireland and can be found here.
It got me thinking about exploring our individual path, the wayfarer's journey through our lives and how, in a sense, the yoga path is a type of pilgrimage. Currently, we are metaphorically traveling to unknown and foreign territory...that of social distancing on a global scale. And the sacredness of our personal yoga practice is not dissimilar to traveling to a shrine or holy place as a devotee. We may stumble but are drawn forward to remember an inner sanctuary, a place of deep peace and profound connection. We come to the mat either because we have done it before with past experience setting a foundation of familiarity--one of comfort and ease, or because we are seeking to establish this as a way of coping better in times of high stress.
And at times, particularly at this time, it can seem dark and ominous. So our theme this week is to bring our attention to what we are learning during this time and to look for the silver linings, those stories that will stick with us in future tellings of this chapter of our journey. We inherently know that opposites exist simultaneously: masculine/feminine, sun/moon, Shiva/Shakti, Yin/Yang, darkness and light. At the moment, it's imperative that we look for the light of our current experience.
Have you ever had an unexpected experience that on the outside looked bad or dangerous? And during that experience what actually happened produced fond memories or thoughts of joy?
One such experience for me was during a 6-month hitchhiking trip through Africa. I was with my boyfriend at the time and we had just made it across the Western Kalahari Desert, traveling from Botswana to Namibia. We were camping at the back of a hotel, in the small town of Gobabis, Namibia, when I became violently ill. I spent a sleepless night close to a bathroom, shaking, with chills/fever and intense body pain. Our traveler's medical book indicated that I needed to "seek medical attention". Having made it through the night, we found a local, South African trained doctor the next day, who treated me and admitted me to the local hospital. The hospital was reluctant to admit me as only one bed was available and I was to be sharing with a young woman from the Bushman tribe. For whatever reason, women of two different races was of concern to them...and thankfully, they let it slide and I spent three days re-hydrating on an IV drip.
My roommate was a young woman who looked so terribly sad. No one came to visit her and we didn't speak the same language. Yet, after a day or so, I went over to her bed and showed her a small flipbook that when you flicked the pages, a cartoon of Mickey Mouse doing a magic trip appeared. When I shared this with her, her eyes just about flew out of her head. It was complete astonishment at such a thing as I'm sure she'd never seen anything like it. I gave her the book and she spent the entire day, flipping the pages and being entertained by Mickey. It seemed to be the one spark of joy that was ignited in her day. And, in those dark and painful hospital days, it brought an indelible light to my own heart.
I hope you are finding the joyfully unexpected moments in your life during this self-isolating time. I hope they are sparking memories that will reflect not only the struggle but the beauty that often seems hidden at such times.
Have you ever been on an airplane and are on your descent to your destination when the plane, instead of continuing on its path to land, begins to ascend instead? I really dislike that feeling. For however long the flight, when I'm close to getting to the destination it says on my ticket and I can see it out of my window, I'm truly ready to land. But no...instead the pilot comes over the speaker and says they're not ready to land and we'll be in a holding pattern until given permission to do so.
It feels like that's what this social distancing quarantine scenario we are experiencing is like at the moment...we're in a holding pattern and nobody knows when it will be safe to land back in our "regular" daily life. We have a new normal and for so many of us, it's really uncomfortable.
This past week in classes we've been practicing "holding a pose" and noticing our reaction. Some yoga practices encourage you to endure a pose even when your muscles are quivering or a pose that you don't really enjoy and you're ready to exit and move on. We are instructed to practice coming back to the present moment by focusing on our breath and staying put. It's encouraging us to focus and cultivate patience as we transcend the uncomfortable physical experience of the present moment. It's trying to find ease with whatever we're experiencing. And it's challenging! So often we want to quickly remove ourselves from things we don't really like and both our yoga practice and home quarantine are inviting us to find equanimity with discomfort and monotony.
Beyond the physical aspect of holding a pose or staying in place, is the more esoteric invitation to stay inwardly focused and not be drawn outward. Distraction shows itself through avoidance, procrastination and self-medicating (shopping, drugs, alcohol, Netflix, social and news media). Many of us don't have the same deadlines as we have had and are maybe floating through our days without structure or purpose.
Now is a great opportunity to get curious, create ritual, dive more deeply into something you have been wanting to pursue but haven't been able to perhaps we've been overly committed to work or study. During this holding pattern, bringing structure and purpose to our day will support us in navigating it more smoothly. If we allow time for turning inward to nourish, weed, and feed our inner garden, this could be a time for enormous creativity, insight, and awakening. So often, we are on the treadmill of life and giving ourselves this sort of time seems elusive and only done on vacation.
So here we are...for an unknown while longer. The normalcy of our lives is shifting and we may emerge on the other side of this with things never being quite the same. Can you allow an inner voice to be heard during this time so that your exit strategy is one that offers a smooth landing?
Throughout the week, I've been reminding students to use the tools we've been talking about over the past few weeks. One breath at a time. Come to the present moment. Make self-care part of your day by asking what it is you need to do today to nourish yourself physically, emotionally, mentally, and spiritually. What are you grateful for? What joy or inspiration have you found today?
We're in this together and are finding new ways to support the collective well-being of our earth family. In the meantime, as we hold the pose...find your breath and send love bombs to those you know who could really use a dose.
