Sangha

"Call it a clan, call it a network, call it a tribe, call it a family. Whatever you call it, whoever you are, you need one."

~Jane Howard

For those of us at Desert Yoga Therapy, it's a time to say thank you for being part of our community. This past week we celebrated our second anniversary in our Rancho Mirage studio and will be celebrating with a Kirtan (musical experience) with Jayne and The Om Boys to welcome the Winter Solstice. 

It's been a heart-warming reflection to consider all that has happened this past year: workshops on karma, sound healing, essential oils, and deep relaxation; teacher training programs with one 200-Hour class graduating and the new advanced studies program being launched, the addition of both belly dance workshops and weekly ballroom dancing; weekly yoga classes (yearly attendance over 5000); and 1-1 yoga therapy. We have instructors who continue to build their own business within DYT and bring great compassion to what they do.

Plus as a bonus, our enthusiastic community voted to bring us the honor of being named "Best Yoga Studio" in the Best of The Valley contest put on by the Desert Sun newspaper. What a year we've had!

For those who've been to our studio, you have commented on not only how beautiful it is, but how it feels welcoming and safe, a sacred place for us to be on our own journey of wellness. One of the intentions that my husband, Ed, and I had for the space was that it would be a place where people could come to be in community no matter who they were or what was transpiring in their lives. We wanted this space to be free of turmoil from the "outside" world, a place to re-calibrate our sense of self, a place to process and move and breathe. We are honored that you have allowed us to serve you in this way.

To get a sense of what this anniversary means on a personal level, I went back to some older blogs I had written about finding community. Two blogs, in particular, stood out, written in 2011 and 2015. When I left Australia and returned to the States in 1997, I left behind a community of people that I call my "heart family". These are the people in our lives who've bared witness to our journey and hold us with compassion, support, and unconditional love. I thought I would find that upon returning to the States, but instead what I seemed to be looking for was elusive. I had a few false starts, hanging out with groups of people that I enjoyed, yet lacked the depth I was seeking. On a deeper level, I was looking for a community of people that were also seeking to connect to higher purpose, who were willing to share their vulnerabilities, and support each other in finding meaning in our lives.

Something within me was calling for this and, since it wasn't coming easily to me, I thought perhaps that part of my purpose was to build community. You know the saying, "build it and they will come" which is perhaps true with the right intention, but I had many moments of sitting in an empty yoga studio waiting for someone to walk in the door. It's been a long, slow growth which has taken persistence and determination. I hold the attitude that no matter how many people turn up to practice, I will give it the same energy. And now in coming to the end of our second year, I can actually see the manifestation of this intention of building community. What's interesting is that as some people have moved away from the area and our community, other doors have opened.

It's thrilling to see the studio opening our Lotus Room, a place where local artisans can show their wares as well as what's in store for 2019- A Primordial Sound Meditation course, more workshops with medium Geof Jowett, more belly dancing, more ballroom dancing, a new yoga retreat to Iceland (July 7-13, stay tuned for details!) and a revisit to Australia for our annual Sanctuary retreat and the Women's retreat in Benalla, Victoria. More practitioners are finding an opportunity to bring their light into our space exploring art, poetry, and music. YES, music has been a huge part of the studio this year with Jayne and the Om Boys playing four gigs on the Solstices and Equinoxes. Collectively we have raised over $3000 for local charities and will continue to do so this upcoming year.

I love being in our studio for many reasons-the purple walls, the beautiful floor, the soft natural lighting...but what I love most are the people who walk through the doors. We often arrive with some agitation or heaviness of heart, and I am fortunate to see the after-effects of what happens within the classes and sessions. People leave smiling and relaxed. They engage with others and form lifelong friendships. 

My teacher, Judith Hanson Lasater, has a saying about our role as yoga teachers, and that is to "reflect the inherent goodness in people back to them".  I know that I was looking for people to reflect that back to me in my search for community, and when I turned it away from myself and began to focus on how to serve others, that's when it happened. By shining my own light, other people's radiant nature came flooding back to me. At this point in time, I feel like I've been the rock dropped into the center of the still pond, but everyone else is the ripple away from that point.

My wish is may all of us shine our lights brightly, attract those who do the same and offer our hearts to the larger community. May this year be one of great peace and ease. And may we continue to find our individual way with support from those around us.

Fading Light

The pashmina and recycled cashmere sweaters are out and I'm truly enjoying the shift we're experiencing here in the desert and in the Northern Hemisphere. We are heading straight toward the Winter Solstice and, baby, it's cold outside! Being a desert resident, we have very short and rather mild winters compared to our neighbors in the north. With that said, it feels really cold to us compared to the high temperatures that we experience for many months of the year. So when our nights get cold and, almost frosty, when we dig out the puffy jackets and sweaters, it truly feels like a monumental change.

The days are getting shorter, the light not its familiar bright self, and the encroaching winter is beckoning us to turn inward. Mother Nature is tapping us on the shoulder saying "put on some PJ's, snuggle under a blanket, and grab a hot drink. It's time to come home to ourselves, to put down the busy to-do list, and allow moments of self-care and hibernation. Yet, the paradox is that the season of the holidays is pulling us in the opposite energetic direction. Particularly here in the desert, many of the snowbirds have flocked back into town and the roads, restaurants, and shops are busier, with a flair for the hustle and bustle. The holidays are often a time of doing more, not less. Social calendars fill up, we shop, bake, clean, welcome guests, pack for some travel, send out cards, and thank yous. Instead of hearing the call of Mother Nature, we are faced with our societal need to "do" things during the holiday season.

My request of students this week is to notice the fading light and to allow the feeling of turning inward to arise, even if it's for short snippets of simply getting grounded, taking a moment to slow down or to take a breath to be present. Of course, a good restorative practice blends beautifully into this time of year, so if things are driving you up the wall, take time to put your legs up the wall as well.

I love to notice and talk about the shifting relationship between darkness and light. Both the equinoxes and solstices grab my attention to remember the cycle of changing light and dark, noticing the swing from extremes (the Solstices) to equanimity (the Equinoxes). The cycle of things is like a built-in timer to wake up to the season and re-calibrate where necessary. Darkness and light bring power to each other. When it gets dark outside, we really enjoy the light. During our visit to a remote part of Western Australia, we were gifted with dark night skies due to the absence of ambient light from cities. It was a breathtaking experience to see the Milky Way painted across the dark night sky and to understand its moniker.

Two years ago at this time, we were in Iceland with about five hours of daylight, with the sun low in the sky creating a subtle kind of light, as though the sun was skimming across the line of the horizon. Cultures who have long hours of darkness also originated celebrations around light - think of Hanukkah, Christmas lights, and gatherings around candles and fireplaces. So as we welcome the darkness remember how brightly we shine. 

My wish for you during the fading light is for you to take something off of your list, to put on some fuzzy slippers, and enjoy the darkness! To my friends in the Southern Hemisphere, enjoy your longer days of sunshine! I guess it's your time to put on your flip-flops and get outside!

Enough

Enough.

What comes to mind when you say that word out loud? For some yoga students this past week, it evoked a sense of throwing our hand up and firmly saying, "ENOUGH!" as in, enough violence, enough cyber-shopping, enough Thanksgiving leftovers! There's a part of us calling for less. I think similar things when I ponder that single word, but my intention for the week was to actually focus on "Good Enough", which feels quite different to the above meaning of saturation and switches the focus into the concept of self-worth.

The focus of this week has been reaffirming that each and every one of us doesn't need anything else. Who and what we are, what we know, and what we have is enough...as is. We don't need to reach beyond the current moment to be better than the present version of ourselves. For many years I held a belief that I didn't know enough. I had undertaken both undergraduate and graduate degrees, attended countless workshops and trainings, self-improvement weekends, and aromatherapy sessions. A part of me simply didn't trust that what I had to share with the world was sufficient and only when I had that next diploma, certificate, or degree could I be valued. I don't know what flipped the switch, but I now have a different attitude and hold the belief that what I know can impact others, even though I don't know all there is to know. I know enough and that's good enough. That's not to say that I'm not curious or interested in learning more. I am and am constantly looking for topics that pique my interest, but a sense of desperation no longer accompanies the wanting to learn. I have my own sense of what knowing enough means in being able to do what I do.

As I spoke about this idea throughout the week, a yoga student forwarded along an article that was related to this topic and mentioned the concept of the "anxious striver". The person who is constantly looking for what's next, propelled by an underlying sense of their current state as being inadequate. They move from one thing to another, dissatisfied and wary of being okay with what they have or know. And the question begs to be asked, "At what point do you know if it's enough? Do you know what enough feels and looks like?". Imagine being on your deathbed and saying, "Wait, I'm not ready as I haven't done, said, learned, earned, or loved enough!"

In some ways, I believe perfectionism plays a role in this and can be instilled in us from a young age. As a budding gymnast, a coach of mine would say, "Practice doesn't make perfect, perfect practice makes perfect." In training we had to perform 10-consecutive routines without noticeable errors, especially falling off the beam. If you were on routine #10 and fell...you had to begin again at one. Yep...it could take a long time to get through all that. And yes, it made you fight to stay on the beam and I did become a better gymnast for that, but it instilled a sense of perfectionism in me that lingers today.

Thankfully, as I've aged,  I have softened and learned to be more forgiving toward myself for being unapologetically imperfect. And it doesn't mean to stop learning, to stop being curious and just settle. It means to know that at this moment we are all that we need to be and, yes, opportunity for expansive experiences await, but we don't need to wait to do something because of feeling "not good enough" to even begin.

Have you ever thought when I...lose weight, get a job title, retire, have more vacation time, etc, I'll then do...? Let's stop here and take a deep breath. Now is the time to step fully into your own life. Embrace and celebrate all that you are right now because I'm here to share a little secret. You. Are. Enough.

Now get busy being you!

Kindness

This week in the United States was the celebration of the Thanksgiving holiday, traditionally a feast featuring turkey, stuffing, cranberry sauce, and pumpkin pie. At least, that's the tradition that my family had as we were growing up and it has evolved into a similar tradition with my husband's side of the family over the past 20 years. Some of the dishes and faces have changed, but its essence of connecting, savoring, and slowing down has pretty much remained the same. And given the events of the past couple of weeks as I wrote about in last weeks blog (click here if you missed it), with a mass shooting and tragic wildfires in California, it feels as though this Thanksgiving may offer some much-needed space to become radically present and deeply grateful.

Each Thanksgiving holiday I've been inspired to write about gratitude, and this year, I'm taking a slightly different approach to practice gratitude in action-- kindness. It feels like an infusion of global kindness could benefit so many people suffering worldwide and I know that any time I feel the tug of my own suffering, the first place I need to retreat is within my own heart.

As with many aspects of our yoga practice, kindness begins within. As we fill up our internal kindness well, we can then spill it out of ourselves and direct it towards others. As the saying goes, if we wish for peace in the world, we ourselves must be peaceful. So if we wish to see kindness in the world, we ourselves must be kind. It's a challenge, as dwelling within everyone lives our loudest and most obnoxious critic. Our self-talk can ring deafening decibels, so much so, that we wouldn't dare speak with a friend the way we speak to ourselves. Cleaning up our internal dialogue and offering loving-kindness is a necessary first step if we wish to expand it beyond our own hearts.

The meditation practice of loving-kindness has the process of offering affirming statements, beginning with "May I...". As Sharon Salzberg teaches, this practice of "May I be safe, happy, healthy, and live with ease" are phrases we repeat for several weeks before moving the statements away from ourselves and toward others. Once again, we begin within.

Related to this is the first Yama of the eight-faceted path of yoga as written in the Sutras of Patanjali is "Ahimsa", often translated as non-violence or compassion. As we study the sutra it relates to increasing our awareness of not only being non-violent to others, but also to ourselves. We examine what choices we make on a daily basis and see if they serve us in a positive way, supporting us in becoming the best version of who we are. The questions I've been asking people in class this week are: How do you treat your physical body with kindness? Are you nourishing, moving, and resting your body from a place of self-love? Is your self-talk coming from a place of compassion? Are you treating Mother Earth with kindness and what does that look like? 

We know that awareness is key to making any changes that align us with how we wish to be living, and I hope this week, you are treating yourself and others from the place of your kind heart. I am grateful to be of service to all of you and wish you a holiday season overfilled with kindness and compassion.

Find Calm

It's been an intense week here in Southern California. It began with yet another mass shooting, however, this one touched a nerve closer to home as it happened in my hometown of Thousand Oaks. Within hours not only were these lives senselessly taken too soon, but wildfires began to roar through the same area. Two tragedies within hours of each other, affecting people not only in the local community but reaching into far corners across the country. Growing up, Thousand Oaks was a quiet town where we knew our neighbors, walked in parades together, rode bikes through neighborhoods to the park and the mall. It has been one of the safest cities in the United States and yet, gun violence found its way to this enclave. It shook me at a place that I hadn't quite experienced before which provoked a sense of anxiety within me.

This past week, we also recognized the 100th anniversary of the Armistice and marked Veteran's Day by honoring those who've served, with many giving the greatest sacrifice - their lives. As I was thinking about returning veterans, many whom suffer from PTSD, I was also drawn to thinking about others who've experienced different types of trauma, I wanted to bring the topic of mental health and yoga to the forefront, in particular, the topic of anxiety. It is well documented that PTSD is common amongst returning veterans and how yoga is a safe place to heal. And it's not only vets who can benefit from learning to down-regulate anxiety but it applies to so many of us who have faced it in a variety of forms.

Anxiety is based on fear and triggers the part of our nervous system that is to fight, flight or freeze, the sympathetic side of our nervous system. It's an evolutionary response to our own survival and is paramount for our species to thrive and propagate. In our brains, there are six centers of activation for the sympathetic nervous system, so we are programmed to be ready to respond rapidly. The challenge for us living in today's society is that we have many perceived threats that go on chronically, much longer than what we are meant to tolerate. It's as though we have this sub-current of fear, slowly gnawing away at our feeling of being safe and secure.

The sympathetic nervous system sometimes gets a bad rap, as we need it to engage in the world...to read, write, interact, and get things done. And when we have an activation of the sympathetic nervous system we also have a very real physical response to it with cascading hormones being released, muscles ready to run, blood pressure and heart rates elevating. When the threat is over, we reverse many of these physical responses and head in the calmer direction of our parasympathetic nervous system, the place of restoring and healing.  It's a bit trickier getting into the parasympathetic side of our nervous system as it has only two centers of activation, thus the process is much slower. The upshot of this is that anxiety isn't something that simply lives in your head, but is intricately woven into your physical health.

The weekend of the fires and following the shooting, I had a few moments in public when I was at the movies and wondered if where we were sitting was the safest place should a gunman come into the theater. Yep...that's what was coursing through my inner thought pattern. I was feeling anxious in a public setting which in the short term isn't a surprising response given the horrible incidents befalling my hometown. The beauty of having a yoga practice in place was the awareness that these thoughts were present. I allowed myself to feel the fear being held in my body, the tension that arose from it, and recognition that I could take a deep breath and try to let go.

I also recognize that it's okay for me to want to find safety, to be alone, to find a place within myself that was like touching home. It's okay for me to feel the full sadness of loss and violence. It's okay for me to be outraged at the lack of change or action. And mostly, it's okay for me to hold my own heart softly.

We get so much from our yoga practice that is not related to the physical side of the practice. Asking students throughout the week what they received from the non-physical side of yoga they replied: relaxation, calm, centering, comfort, community, and slowing down. It offers people a chance to be fully present and to find their breath. As I heard these responses from my own students, I was yet again reminded to let those things happen for me as well. We know that if we breathe into our belly we calm down. If we slow down our exhale, we invite ease. If we can feel where calm resides within us, we can go there when needed. 

I am especially grateful for the growing conscious community that surrounds me. I know in the deepest essence of who I am that for us to enact any sort of shift, we must begin with ourselves, pay it forward, and grow the collective consciousness to one of love, compassion, and tolerance. Sometimes the most powerful lessons are the ones that kick us in the gut first. It's been a hard week and, at the same time, I am grateful to know that I am not a solo voyager. I am grateful for all that I have learned and for the enormous love that surrounds me. Inhale four counts...exhale six. Repeat.

Hear The Whisper

As I sat in the residue of our first weekend of the Advanced Studies program on Sunday evening, I needed to create my theme for the upcoming week. I felt inspired from the weekend's workshop, but less than creative. So as I often do, I just allowed myself to sit and feel into what it is that's on my own personal horizon. I thought to myself, "Wow...so it's November already. That means this week is the mid-term elections, about two weeks away is the Thanksgiving holiday, followed by "Black Friday", "Cyber Monday" and the launch into the holiday season...the horizon is looking rather hectic!"

Thankfully, the election has passed and the bombardment of ads has become quiet. Even if you were on a news fast, it was nearly impossible to escape the campaigning with candidate's posters splattered along the roadsides, and the endless mailers arriving in the post box every day.

About a month ago, I was in a hardware store and the holiday decorations were in full display. Yep...two months away from the big Christmas holiday and they were tempting us to get things done early. I mean, really? How much stuff do we need and how much time do we need to celebrate the holiday season? Unfortunately, many people try to "survive" the holidays partly as it seems challenging to get away from that kind of bombardment as well.

Then cometh the festival of shopping...Black Friday and Cyber Monday. We're being lured to get the best deals before they're all gone and it's been made easier for us through using our desktop computers and mobile devices. It's like a spending feeding frenzy, electrifying our nervous systems as it presses into our resources of energy, time, and money.

The barrage is in full flight, with people and companies trying to grab our attention, our votes, our wallets. It seems as though this time of year is more ramped-up than usual, perhaps due to the election cycle but regardless, it's beyond easy to see why we get so distracted from the deeper meaning of life.

So my thought this week is a simple reminder to Hear The Whisper, of our inner selves. The voice that sits at the heart of who we are is always present and always has been. At times such as this, it's easy to see how the voice gets covered up with other, external stimuli. We are pulled outward and in the Northern Hemisphere, nature is asking us to pull inward as we turn toward the Winter Solstice. It's time to drop our proverbial leaves, put on our jammies, and hibernate.

At the beginning of the week, in that state between sleep and waking, I asked myself "Is there anything I need to know? Is there anything I need to remember?". And up bubbled my answer...first, "You are loved", followed by "You are love." And I thought, "Wow...thanks for the reminder!" It was as though my inner voice wanted me to know that sitting beneath all of the surface noise, beyond the distraction, that love is at the heart of everything. Pure and simple, but sometimes overridden by other things. 

This listening begins within me and hopefully, seeps out through my actions in the world. If I get quiet enough to hear my true self speak, it is more powerful than anything on the surface and is the potent reminder that the truth of my soul is not outside of me, but seeded deeply within.

So as the festive season descends upon all of us, honor that quiet whisper by giving yourself a few moments of radical presence to listen. You might be truly inspired by what you hear.

What's Your Medicine?

The thought of the week is based around a simple question. What is your medicine? Perhaps the first thing that came to mind was what prescription medications do I currently take? One definition of medicine is:

"a compound or preparation used for the treatment or prevention of disease, especially a drug or drugs taken by mouth."

However, this week I'm asking what is it that you "ingest" on a daily basis that gives you connection to the harmonious balance between body-mind-spirit? The Global Wellness Day describes being well as:

"Wellness is an active process of becoming aware of and making choices towards a healthy and fulfilling life.  It is more than being free from illness, it is a dynamic process of change and growth. A good or satisfactory condition of existence; a state characterized by health, happiness, and prosperity; welfare."

"Wellness is a state of complete physical, mental, and social well-being, and not merely the absence of disease or infirmity." - The World Health Organization.

Finding the key to wellness is an active pursuit, not something that simply happens to us. And in asking the question this week, it helps to elevate into our awareness the many things that contribute to creating our individual state of well-being. For me, my daily dose for the past 12+ years has come in the form of my meditation practice, supplemented by trying to live from a broad yogic perspective. It's that one thing that is completely non-negotiable and feels the same as the daily brushing of teeth...it's simply part of good health hygiene.

So when you notice when you're feeling less than optimal, there are many things that people have said are good medicine for them:

• Nature- Get outside and feel the impact of the natural environment. The sun on your shoulders, the wind tossing your hair about, the grass under your feet, or plunging your hands in the dirt. Breathe in the aromas of a pine forest or a damp desert morning.
• Ocean - Open and moving bodies of water are great medicine. Give yourself time to sit and watch the waves coming and going, or the gentle flow of a meandering river.
• Moon and Star Gazing - Head out into the night and take notice of which phase the moon is in, or perhaps the first stars to appear in the night sky.
• Music - One of the most powerful tonics is that of sound. Classical music has been shown to improve childhood development. Communities have gathered for centuries using sound and music to celebrate, mourn, and transcend.
• Pets - It's been shown that simply petting your dog or cat lowers your blood pressure. That's furry good medicine!
• Exercise - We inherently know the benefits of exercise as it's not only for our bodies but our minds with feel-good hormones getting released through movement.
• Quiet time - meditation, contemplation, sitting in silence in nature and prayer all connect us to our deeper selves.
• Reading - diving into the words of others can completely transport us into other worlds.
• Quality time with loved ones - Sitting down with a long-time friend and having uninterrupted conversation = gold!
• Essential Oils - I have my own apothecary of essential oils that I use daily. They help to activate different areas of my brain that can feel stimulating, relaxing, and grounding.
• Nourishing Home Cooked Food - Recently on retreat, we all remarked how you could taste the love in the food that was being served to us. 
• Yoga - So many tools and practices exist within this ancient wisdom tradition, that the more experienced you become, the more you uncover its magic.
• Sleep - Nothing heals the soul, heart, and body more than a restful nights sleep. Get your eight hours to boost your health.
• Humor - Laughter, whether it's a giggle or bellyaching roar is good medicine. It releases feel-good hormones and automatically puts those smiling muscles to work.

These are just a few ideas that people have been sharing throughout classes this week. Find what nourishes you and actively pursue it. In doing so, you may realize that you're surrounded by a full medicine chest of personalized, good medicine!