Grateful

Grateful...easily my word and thought for the week. It all began late Sunday after I had finished running a 3-day Restorative Intensive workshop. At the end of the workshop, we all sat in a circle as I asked the participants what they were taking away from the weekend and what, if any, they may have had. As people shared so openly and from the heart, my own heart space seemed to expand. I couldn't help but absorb the feelings of thankfulness that were pouring forth. And it wasn't from them thanking me, they were thanking each other for being supportive, understanding and caring. They were thanking the community that came together and how they loved being a part of it. You could see on their faces, that after three days of shifting out of the busyness of the everyday and into a relaxed and restoring state, that life seemed a bit more compassionate, bright and easy.

And it kept unfolding...as I awoke Monday morning, I began the 21-day mantra meditation offered by Oprah and Deepak Chopra. The theme: finding grace through gratitude. There it was again-Gratitude! It seemed too easy to choose that as the theme for the week, so as I drove to begin my teaching for the day, I waited to see if another stroke of inspiration would hit. Nothing. So, I put up the word "Grateful" and as a student walked into the studio and saw the word of the week, she exclaimed, "Grateful! That's SO perfect!". And so it went throughout the week, noticing moment after moment of things for which I could be grateful.

As I explored the idea further, another emotion arose...that of fear. I began to realize that a profound connection exists between fear and gratitude. In recent events we have heard the rhetoric of fear...the Iran nuclear deal; the Greek financial crisis; gas prices on the rise. Fear is heard in the voices of those debating the issues and not only is fear present, but anger can be heard as well. When fear arises, the heart shuts down. It's near impossible to hold love and fear in the same moment and if we begin to attach ourselves to the fear, if we begin to become identified with the story, our ability to feel love diminishes. 

This is when the practice of gratitude arrives. When we find ourselves stuck in the mud of negativity and realize the abundance that exists in our lives, we begin to shift the focus away from the fear. Instead of being fixated, we begin to understand that we have an opportunity to make a different choice of where we place our energy. Research has shown that a daily practice of gratitude can shift our emotional state in a positive way. I did this publicly a couple of years back on Facebook where at the end of every day, I would post five things I was grateful for. Some days it was challenging, but over 21 days, I could still find something to acknowledge. The interesting thing that happened through this social experiment, was that other people began posting things that they were grateful for...a rippling out of gratitude was an unexpected result. It felt good to be part of that wave.

One more thought around gratitude is that our true self is always grateful. That's a quote from the Oprah/Chopra meditation. As I sat with that, I realized they were referring to us connecting to the seat of our soul, that eternal, never changing part of our selves that sits in the truth of who we really are...not the roles we take on, not the persona we project, but at the core of us all is the essence of love. If we have the consciousness and tools to dive below the outer, often turbulent noise that pulls us away from our inner selves, we can move deeply into the well of inner silence and knowing. This is where we "trust our gut" and "feel it in our bones". We just know from a place of inner wisdom what is true.

Once again, connecting to gratitude helps us to dive deep and touch our essence. So in this moment, I am grateful to all of you who commit time in reading this and perhaps reflect on what it means to you.  What are you grateful for today?

What's Your Default Setting?

This week my thought has been inspired by the celebration of His Holiness the Dalai Lama's 80th birthday. From the first moment I heard him speak in Melbourne, Australia close to 20 years ago, the word compassion is what I think of when I hear his name. He is the living embodiment of what compassion in action truly looks like. Through his own life's struggles, he is still able to come from a place of love. How does someone do that, particularly when they've seen violence against their country and have been living in exile since 1959?

I believe part of the reason has been the commitment to his practice for a very long time. If you consider this is his 14th incarnation and he's now 80, he's had many lifetimes to refine his practice. In addition, all the stories that are recounted from people who've met him say the same thing: He really sees people as being no different from each other. He offers love, eye contact, sincerity and laughs easily. One aspiration I hold is to emulate even a fraction of what he displays...so my practice continues, day after day, just as his practice has been embedded within him for countless years.

A few weeks ago, my husband Ed and I were attending the Palm Springs International ShortFest. As we were sliding into our seats in a packed theater, we had to navigate past two seated women. I shuffle into the row and sit a couple of seats away, followed by Ed. The next thing I hear is "OW!" by one of the women, with Ed replying, "sorry!". I didn't hear the next reply from the offended woman, but only heard Ed say, "Well, what would  you  like  me to do?". He then sat down next to me, a bit fired up and told me that the woman said, "Sorry isn't going to cut it!"

Following the films we were discussing how it was that the woman's default comeback was, "sorry isn't going to cut it"...where does that thought originate.? My reflection was that she obviously is suffering in some way and over the years has tread a path that isn't reflective of love, compassion or her higher self. If she should hold any desire to change, she's got some work to do. Now imagine if the person sitting in the same seat was HH the Dalai Lama. What would his response be? My guess is that it would have moved to his default reaction of finding love and compassion for his bumped foot and for the bumper of the foot.

One human characteristic is that we fall into the same patterns of behavior, some which serve us (such as our yoga practice) and some that don't (such as getting angry in public with little provocation). When we are acting from a place that isn't coming from our higher selves, it can seem as though we have no choice in the matter..."that's just who I am". Yet if an opportunity arises for us to pause, we begin to see that we actually have a choice in our behavior. The big challenge however is to find the pause and to do so, we need to slow down. Our lives are so often buzzing around us that it all becomes a blur. How can we possibly recognize the opportunities to act differently?

Stepping onto our mats, sitting our backsides on a meditation cushion, study of the wisdom traditions and being surrounded by people who support positive behavior are ways in which we can begin to slow down the spinning cycle. It sounds incredibly easy, yet this can be a lifelong practice. Begin by recognizing all the things that you do that are supportive of how you want to be in the world and keep doing them. Check out of the stuff that drags you down and puts you back onto the hamster wheel of self-destruction rather than self-realization. And listen to that powerful internal voice and feeling in the gut about your actions and their ripple effects. We all have an ability to make a difference not only in our own lives, but in the lives of others.

I bow deeply in gratitude to have such an example as HH the Dalai Lama. If he can do it, we too can take our own baby steps toward emulating him. Happy birthday His Holiness!

Choice

With Independence Day here in the United States, I was reflecting on what the 4th of July means to me. What came up was having the ability to choose. 

I remember an experience I had when I returned to western culture after spending 6-months in Africa. I was in London and headed to the supermarket to buy some basics. As I stood in the brightly lit and wide aisled store, looking at the enormous selection of cereals all I experienced was the feeling of being completely overwhelmed. There was just simply too much to choose from and my next reaction was to leave. 

Yet at the same time, I was struck by how much we take for granted, particularly as it relates to the number of opportunities we have to choose from. In less fortunate countries, there may be only one cereal choice, if any at all. You might go for days and only subsist on bananas and maize meal. In the developed Western countries, we have created abundance and much of this began when people left their countries seeking other places in which they had more choice, more opportunity to live as they wanted and not as they were told.

The Fourth of July reminds us that we wanted to be able to create our own utopia with freedom to practice speaking, praying and expressing ourselves without oppressive censorship. It took a collective courage to realize the need and seek a path of creating a way of life that supported this ideal.

Our yoga practice is a way of seeking our own liberation and manifesting it into something that is greater than ourselves. But, we must first know what it is that we need to connect to, our own inner freedom and then trust the ancient methods that have been passed down through generations.

The Buddha said that suffering is a given in life and through making particular choices about how we undergo our daily existence we can move further away from this suffering to liberation. Brené Brown, Ph.D., L.M.S.W a research professor of Social Work (author of the book, "The Gifts of Imperfection") found that we can only love others as much as we love ourselves. Thus, if we have difficulty in tapping into our own hearts, how can we fully connect into the heart of others? By uncovering our own deeper need, one of which is love, we can begin to not only better our own lives, but more fully engage in other peoples lives...you know...spread the love from the inside out.

As we engage in the process of discovering what we need more of in our lives (peace, knowledge, freedom or socks), we can then begin to set in motion our plan of striving to reach it. Just as our forefathers knew they were suffering and sought freedom, we too can look at our own lives from a similar perspective. 

This brings me back to cereal. We have so much opportunity sitting within reach. We have so much (sometimes way too much) to choose from that we often forget that having choices is a result of having freedom. For those less fortunate, they can still find freedom in their hearts and spirits. For us, we have the chance to not only choose between the high fiber/gluten-free granola or Captain Crunch but also how we choose to be in a relationship with ourselves, other beings and our planet.

I am grateful for being able to live in a country where I have the power to choose. Happy Independence Day to all!   

Everything Changes

I met a new student the other day and asked if she had practiced yoga before. She replied, "yes, but I can't do what I used to do" to which I replied, "neither can I!". It got me thinking about what I used to be able to do with my body when I was a competitive gymnast in the early years. I was gifted with great flexibility and I could back bend to extremes and had beautiful splits in three directions. Once I undertook more focused training as a gymnast and built strength to match the flexibility, my body could move easily and with fluidity. It took effort but if often looked effortless. 

My body doesn't move the same way as it did in the past. Everything changes. Part of my practice is simply being okay with that. I have remnants of the younger Jayne insofar as I can still hold a decent handstand and have good balance and strength.  Yet my joints talk to me on a regular basis and if I'm listening, they ask for me to take my time and be gentle. When I do listen, my body responds. Over the years my being is becoming better at understanding that everything changes.

What I may have "lost" from a physical perspective has been replaced by something I had no clue about in those younger years: Insight, patience and wisdom. With the changing waves of my physical self, I needed to learn how to make peace with all of it because as I age, everything changes. We begin to learn that we have other options than throwing on our super-hero cape and giving it our utmost. 

And so it goes, the numerous cycles that we are constantly experiencing whether they be the subtle shifting from one season to the next, the seemingly overnight growth of a young puppy or the wrinkles that we begin to notice around our eyes. No matter how desperately we wish it would stay the same, everything changes.

In the wisdom traditions it is said that when we deny the basic truth of change and adhere ourselves to the idea that things will remain constant, we suffer. Attachment to the things staying the same can lead us down the path of suffering. It's natural to wish for certainty as it gives us a sense of security, even if it is a false notion. We hold on tightly to what's familiar, we often stay in jobs or relationships based on what they were in the beginning and have fear of letting go due to an unknown future.

It is taught that if we can see each moment for exactly what it is and find a sense of ease within that moment, we can learn to be at ease with all that is in transition. A simple practice is to watch the breath and notice how it shifts.

Begin sitting comfortably and close the eyes. Without changing anything, notice how you're breathing. Where is the breath obviously moving in your body? What thoughts are floating about in your sphere of consciousness? Next, exhale the breath completely so you can take the next breath slowly and deeply into the body. Pause. Exhale that breath slowly and with ease. Repeat a few times then sit and notice how you feel. Did anything change? How does this moment compare to how you felt the last time you had an argument with someone? Everything changes.

The practice of noticing change can also be related to help in managing pain and difficult moments. People who pay attention to their pain sensations begin to notice they change, the pain isn't often constant or at the same intensity. Grief and tragedy are also difficult as they often feel as though they are permanent states, yet speak to anyone who has suffered a loss and ask them if it's still as intense as when it first happened. Usually the answer will be "no" as everything changes. 

As we shift away from the solstice we can once again be reminded of the transitions in our lives, from the minute to the gross. We can relax into the present moment and realize everything changes. Can you let go into it?

Harmony

A really cool thing is happening tomorrow, Sunday June 21, 2015. Yes, it's Father's Day here in the USA as well as the summer solstice in the Northern Hemisphere and winter solstice in the Southern Hemisphere. Aside from those colliding events, June 21 is the inaugural International Day of Yoga. India's Prime Minister, Narendra Modi proposed the idea of an international day of yoga to the United Nations and thus, the day was born. PM Modi stated that "yoga is India's gift to the world" and indeed it has had far reaching tendrils since it was first brought to the West in 1893 at The Parliament of the World's Religions in Chicago by Swami Vivekananda. The unfolding of the story is captured in the book, "American Veda" by Philip Goldberg. 

The intention of the International Day of Yoga is to promote harmony, a simple and accessible way to physical health, spiritual health and well-being. It promotes respect for fellow human beings and for the planet in a way that does not discriminate. More can be found  here on the United Nations web site.

We are living in violent times and fortunately, I live in an area where the violence seems far way..."over there", yet, being part of the all encompassing web of humanity violence affects all beings. And although I feel safe in my community it is a vital part of my yoga practice to reach into my local yoga community in perpetuating loving kindness as we are primed to do so. 

Each time we step onto our mat we connect to the deepest places that reside within us. We have an opportunity to remember that peace and ease are accessible through slowing down, quieting our mind, connecting to our breath and moving our body. We begin to harmonize the connections within our own being between our body, our mind and our soul. When we make that connection and step off our mats to interface with the rest of the world, how we are can affect everything else.

If we are sending out feelings of contentment, ease and peace, it has an effect on those we meet. Our practice begins within and we as a collective can be the peacemakers. When we find our own balance, we begin to shift the collective consciousness. You can bet that those acting violently against others or the earth are out of balance. The ancient practice of yoga offers tools of restoring to our natural rhythms harmoniously.

So how does it work? How do we bring ourselves into balance? We are told that if we exercise and eat right that all will be well. However, we know that it's the bigger picture of our life that makes a difference. More specifically ask yourself if you're doing the following:
Eating whole, fresh foods
Moving in a variety of ways every day and at varying intensities
Finding solitude and time for reflection, contemplation or meditation
Hanging out with people who uplift and support you
Living with purpose
Serving others
Being connected to family and social networks
Undertaking activities that bring you joy
Laughing 
If you reflect on the above list, does anything jump out that could be more abundant in your life? If the answer is yes, then take the next step to bringing that into your tomorrow.

Self-care is vital for inner peace and once we realize that looking after ourselves is a step toward community and world peace, we are taking action to bring yoga into realization.

So on the first International Day of Yoga think about yourself and how it relates to the community and your world beyond that. Take a deep breath and find gratitude for being an agent of change. The world needs us so desperately..."there is no way to peace, peace is the way" (Gandhi, Thic Nhat Hanh & A.J. Muste).

SYTAR

Maybe you're one of those super observant types who sees the above image of a sitar and then notices the title of this weeks blog being spelled sytar. And perhaps you're thinking to yourself, that's not how you spell it...okay smarty pants, you're right. SYTAR stands for the "Symposium on Yoga Therapy and Research", the name of a conference that I attended last week in lovely Newport Beach, California. This was the fourth SYTAR I've been to and it was far and away the best yet.

Part of the enjoyment was hanging out with my other tribe, a handful of Australians who had crossed the Pacific to be at the event. It reawakened a loving and familiar place that rests deep within me and was incredibly refreshing. For that, I am truly grateful to have such an extended and ranging network. The other part of the enjoyment were the many interesting, informative and interactive sessions with those on the forefront of yoga therapy here in the States.

The conference had about 350 attendees which makes for easy dialogue and interaction. And the depth of knowledge rubbing shoulders with each other was a reflection of people who have been living from a yogic perspective for many, many years. These are not trendy or fly-by-night practitioners of this ancient science, rather people who have dedicated themselves to yga through teaching, research and innovation. People who have studied with the contemporary masters stemming from Krishnamacharya were everywhere, sharing their varied perspectives and experiences.

My highlights were numerous from working with yoga therapy balls to suffering and awakening, healthy aging and the recognition of the impact of yoga and how it's permeated into modern Western culture. In the US alone, the numbers of people participating in yoga is projected to be 20.4 million with another 10.4 million people interested in participating. That's almost 9% of the population. Wow! Part of the reason for that is the amount of evidence-based research that has emerged over the past five years, increasing exponentially, and offering real alternatives and integration for people gaining and maintaining their health. People are experiencing the many benefits that yoga has to offer.

It also means that those of us who offer it to the masses have a responsibility to delivering both safe and authentic teachings. One comment that came from many at the conference was holding onto the traditions of yoga not so much those within the last 100 years but in the past 1500-3000 years! The fear is that yoga is being distilled into another option for exercise, a physically based undertaking that sways too much toward what's sexy, appealing and trendy. I would guess that most people who come to yoga do so through the doorway of a physical practice, which is awesome, I'm all for that. However, if our lens stays only on the physical, we miss out on the majority of the practice and its benefits. SYTAR emphasized how the practices of pranayama (breath control), mantra and meditation would add greater richness into the physical, pose-centric practice.

This sentiment left me inspired (literally...to breath in!) when I returned to teaching this past week. My two words for the week were "breathe easy". The intention is to shift from the mechanics of the breath to the feeling the breath has on you. When you're in a child's pose where does your breath go? Is your breath ragged? Uneven? Can you notice how your breath shifts depending on the type of pose or sequences of poses you're practicing? The breath is the key that opens the door into our deeper selves. It connects our layers of energy and nourishes the physical cells of our body. When we let go of struggling with our breath our mind becomes quieter, our tension dissipates and we begin to tap into remembering who we truly are.

"Polishing the mirror" is a beautiful phrase that refers to knowing who we truly are at birth. Throughout our life things happen to us and we begin to forget...as though the mirrors to our souls gather dust and we no longer have clarity. The practices of yoga, the breath in particular, are ways in which we begin to blow off the dust. It's easy to begin...sit with your back straight, close your eyes, let go of tension and see what your breath is doing. Honor it exactly as it is. Then see if you can expand it, slowly, evenly, in peace and with ease.

Get to know your breath and you might tap into the same magic of the seers 3000 years ago. Inhale. Exhale. Repeat.

Aging Gracefully

Last week I had the unique honor of attending the 100th birthday celebration of a friend and long-time client. I met him when he was a spry 89 years old and have seen him through his chapter as a nonagenarian and now into the next decade. He is my first client to reach the 100 mark, but I have had a few in their 80's and 90's. What they have taught me is much more than what I have taught them, as I have looked for those common traits among those who are active and doing well into the later chapters of their lives.

What they seem to have in common are: strong family networks; physical activity; an ability to laugh easily; a spiritual connection; and purpose. 

The researcher, explorer and author, Dan Buettner, who wrote the book "The Blue Zones: 9 Lessons For Living Longer From The People Who've Lived The Longest" and the more newly released "The Blue Zones Solution: Eating and Living Like The World's Healthiest People" identified common factors from long, well-lived people around the world. One of those factors that stands out about longevity is the ability to live well, rather than just living for many years. It's about the quality of the journey, not necessarily the quantity of years amassed.

We are learning that setting up our environment, both internal and external, plays a vital role into how well we live. Inflammation is a key buzzword in the wellness world. Essentially it implies that if we can reduce and minimize how inflamed we are, we have better health outcomes. Inflammation shows itself on many levels: physical, emotional and social. We know that any word with "itis" is a reflection of inflammation in the body-tendinitis, bursitis, colitis and appendicitis are all hot-spots of irritation on the physical level.

How many times in a day do your emotions flare up? Anger, disappointment, frustration, depression and agitation are symptoms of emotional fires. If we add fuel to them they get larger and become more powerful. What sets you off in your day and how do you handle it when you're "on fire"?

We can keep extending this reach of inflammation into our social realms simply by looking at conflict, disagreement and violence around the world. We know that these situations are not a reflection of inner peace, balance or harmony.

So part of living well and aging gracefully includes being in an environment that supports inner and outer peace. Some of this is a matter of good fortune and into what environment we are born. The other part, however, can be created through our own actions, thoughts and words. The ever-evolving body of research, that at times is enormously overwhelming, also points us in the direction of more specific choices that we can make that will set us up in a more positive way.

How we nourish our entire being will set the stage for ushering us into our advancing years with more grace and overall balance. This includes the food we choose to eat, the company we keep, daily self-care rituals, a sense of purpose (why am I here?) and a sense of connection to an energy or consciousness bigger than ourselves.

The author, Isabel Allende in her TED talk reminds us that part of aging gracefully means saying "YES to life" in whatever comes whether it be joy, grief or sadness. At age 71, she wants to continue to "stay passionate, engaged with an open heart". My thought for the week is to listen to the words of our elders, embrace the wisdom they have gathered along their journey, to accept who we are in the present moment so that the process of aging touches us from a place of grace.