Wanderlust

 

 

I recently spoke with one of my dearest friends in Australia who had just seen her eldest child off at the airport.  Her daughter was headed to Europe with another 18-year old friend to travel, explore and get that sweet taste of the unfamiliar.  She shared with me how emotional her departure was with many tears and clutching hugs.  The daughter intends to be away for about six months, which to a Mum likely seems an eternity.

  

What struck me about the story was how emotional change can be.  The home status quo has been rocked with the natural concern about safe travel and one less person around.  I reflected to when I first left my family two days before my 17th birthday.  I was headed to Australia as an exchange student for 11 months and hugged my family good-bye and hopped onto a plane bound for Sydney with 100+ other American exchange students.

  

The emotion of being separated from what I knew to be secure, my family in this case, didn't hit me until two days later...on my 17th birthday.  My Mom had packed a card and present with the firm instructions to "not open it until my actual birthday".  Being an obedient daughter, I opened the card on my birthday and completely fell apart.  I was meeting my exchange family shortly after opening the card and was a complete emotional wreck when I met them.  Perhaps they were having second thoughts about taking a young, American basket case into their home for the next few months.

  

Regardless, I moved onto the next phase of the adventure without looking back to those moments that felt like such intense loss and fear.  I'm certain my friend and her daughter will have a similar experience once the adventure starts to write itself into a story.

  

I know how exciting it can be traveling to new places as I was struck by the wanderlust bug at a very early age.  The more I've traveled the greater my curiosity is about third world countries and getting off the beaten track.  Travel as a teacher holds many lessons...tolerance, patience and adaptability.  It opens our eyes to new things and exposes our taste buds to foreign sensations (some delightful and others not).  The further we step away from our own cultural familiarity, the more we're nudged out of our zone of comfort.  We witness things that can raise our eye brows and challenge us to not hold our noses in disgust.  It creates moments of such great awe, that our hearts can do nothing but expand.  It brings to life history and adds texture to our everyday existence.

  

In some ways, travel to me is likened to the experiences we can have on our yoga mats.  Being in our practice we are faced with many uncomfortable moments, such as chanting or turning upside down for the first time.  We are asked to find patience and allow our inner guide to lead us into the asked pose rather than imposing the pose upon ourselves.  When we get uncomfortable and step fully into our practice we can't help but grow.

  

With the courage to try something new, whether it be on or off your mat, our hearts break wide open and drink in the nectar of all the Universe has to offer.

  

It's quite a trip!

Like Glass

Many years ago when I was living in Australia I spent some hot summer days learning how to waterski.  I would head up to the Murray river and camp with a group of friends along its banks.  The only mechanized item was the speed boat that would tote us behind it and all other amenities were that of the Aussie bush.  We knew it was going to be a stellar day when the water was "like glass".  What this meant was that the wind wasn't creating any waves on the surface and the water had huge patches of smoothness providing the perfect surface for sliding from side to side.

  

My thought of the week brought me to this waterskiing memory because that's the image I have for my life at the moment.  It seems as though there was a tidal wave of things to do:  working a busy season; turning in my assignment for my advanced yoga studies; submitting my application to become a yoga school to offer a yoga teacher training program; and simply keeping up with the deluge of information that crosses my desk. 

  

The busyness that accompanied it was seemingly constant for months.  The fast paced, hectic world of Jayne seemed to become the norm for so long.  So, when someone asked me the other day, "what's been happening...?"  I honestly drew a blank.  I didn't have any big project on the boil and it struck me that I am in a part of my life that is "like glass".

  

I didn't recognize it because it was unfamiliar.  And it actually feels a bit funny to be looking at a surface without waves.  Where's the rush?  Where's the deadline?  It appears to have fallen below the surface.  That at this point along my 2013 calendar I am being give a breather.  As history would teach me, these times are precious and often rare...so seize it!

  

Now the big question I've asked my self is, "what are you going to do with this uneventful passage?  My first response was to put something in place, asking the "what's next?" question.  But now, I'm giving that a second thought.  I don't need to DO anything.  This is a fantastic opportunity to simply be.

  

Imagine that.  Waking up in the morning without staring down at a massive to-do list.  I think I'll step onto the glassy waters and glide smoothly to where the moment takes me.

It's All In The Face

Many years ago when I was a beginner yoga student taking classes from my first teacher (an Aussie named Murray), I had what has turned out to be quite a memorable (and teachable) experience.  We were doing a standing pose and if you've ever practiced Iyengar yoga, it can mean that you stay in the pose until the quivering thighs set in.  So, I was in the quivering thigh pose, trying to simply be in it and stay steady.  Murray walks past me and says quietly, "Jayne, stay right where you are."  In the next moment, Murray has called the entire class over to look at my pose.  I try to stay just as I am, but the inner child wants to roll my eyes and hide in the back of the room.

  

As the group gathers around, Murray says, "Take a look at her face.  Do you see how calm her face is even though she's working quite hard in the pose?  This is what we're striving for".  Of course, I had no idea that looking at my face was what Murray was going after.  I just struck the pose and I guess got lucky in finding that sweet spot that was reflected in my face.  It wasn't a conscious choice, it just happened to unfold that way. 

  

Yet it was a powerful lesson as I mentioned and has raised my awareness of where we send our energy when we're in our yoga practice, or in the gym, or playing a sport, driving our car or working away at our computer.  Just watch someone who is really "trying" hard at something.  Watch their face.  You can almost tell if the person is new to what they're doing or if they've gained a certain level of competency. 

  

In watching a high level athlete, a dancer or a seasoned yogi, what you tend to see in facial expressions is the reflection of emotion rather than effort.  A certain calm underlies practiced performance and although the effort may be intense, the energy that it takes to create that effort is efficiently being used by what's needed...not by what's unnecessary-such as grimacing or strongly contracting the muscles of the face.

  

We tend to hold so much tension throughout our bodies that we don't even recognize that we're tight and holding on.  If these patterns are repeated over and over, the held tension begins to feel "normal" and we begin to forget how much ease is available to us in each and every moment.

  

One of the biggest pieces to our yoga practice is growing our own awareness and one place that this can happen is the pattern of habitual tension that we hold in our bodies.  My pattern is often reflected in my jaw...clenched teeth, rigid tongue and throat.  The more often I can sense that this is being held is an opportunity to release and begin to find more ease.

  

So the next time you're being challenged, notice how you're face feels.  And maybe "Murray" will pop up and want to show everyone! 

It's Contagious

Last weekend I had the privilege of studying with my teacher and 48 or so other students in Berkeley, CA.  In doing so, I caught flights to and from the training.  And although I could write this weeks thought around the topic of a dysfunctional S.I. joint (sacra-iliac in the lower back), instead I was given inspiration whilst waiting for my flight back to Southern California.

I flew Southwest Airlines from Oakland and for those who haven't experienced this airline it goes something like this...you are divided into boarding groups  (A, B & C) and by numbers.  As we were waiting to board, all clustered in a waiting area seemingly too small for the number of passengers, I couldn't help but notice a family with two young kids.  They garnered my attention because the young boy (I'm guessing around seven years old) was getting in trouble.  He was being scolded by both his parents who were telling him to "stand still", which seemed to be quite the challenge for the young boy.  And he wasn't told quietly just once, but harshly in hushed tones a few different times.

The family tussle seemed to die down when I next looked up only to observe that the father who had been chastising his son for "moving around" was standing, wiggling, fidgeting, shaking one leg and chewing on his fingernails.  The fathers' nervous energy was highly contagious...his son had caught it.  But like many contagions, you don't often notice that they're being spread.  Finally, the family pre-boarding call was announced and the puddle of twitching moved onto the plane.

I sat there thinking about the disconnect so many of us experience between our actions and what is reflected back to us.  It was as though the fathers' energy (in this case) was transmitted on a cellular level to the son, yet the father had no idea that he was modeling this behavior and was even more agitated at his son for being agitated!

So, you may be asking, what does a twitchy father have to do with yoga?  The answer...awareness.  What we say, how we move, what we think create the wave of vibration that echo out from us.  If you want to feel more peaceful, surround yourself with peaceful people.  If you want to dance uninhibited, head to a rock concert.  If you wish to be inspired, hang out with inspiring people.  If you want to feel the end of the world is near, watch the news.  If you want to watch your own reactions, head to a yoga class.

What we expose ourselves to is the energy we absorb.  And the energy that we project is detected by everyone we come into contact with.  We don't need to speak the same language to send out good vibrations...a sincere smile resonates loudly in any culture.

If part of the reason you practice yoga is to find a sense of inner connectedness and calm, then you need to be in the vicinity of that quality, whether it be from the environment, animals or other people.  The energy that surrounds us is contagious, so elevate your own sense of awareness to fine tune the vibrations that you wish to penetrate your life.

For the agitated father, I wanted to suggest taking a deep breath and try to release any unnecessary tension being held in the body without spewing it out over his own child.  But, in that moment, that wasn't my purpose.  It was simply to remember to pay attention to my own choices and reflect out the ones of how I wish to be in the world.

Peace, love and happiness is what I'm shooting for...

Get Comfortable

Have you ever had the experience of walking into a dinner party, yoga class or social gathering and seeing someone you've been trying to avoid?  You sit yourself at the furthest point away from the person, perhaps avoid eye contact, or roll out your mat next to someone who you love chatting to.  It's human nature.  We move away from things that make us squirm and move toward things that make us feel comfortable, whether it be people, situations or facing thoughts such as grief.

One of the underlying principles of Buddhism is that all beings suffer.  As we come to realize this as truth, we can begin to move away from the suffering by becoming more comfortable with the idea that it may still be present.  In other words, given that suffering is present, can we alter how we react in the face of what makes us uncomfortable?

This is definitely part of many yoga practices.  Just think of how many times the instructor has put in that double pigeon hip opening pose on the day when you'd rather simply ignore your hips.  The teacher gently coaxes you towards making friends with your hips, yet your hips would rather be walking out the door.  How do we find ease when our physical body is telling us that it would rather take a nap than be uncomfortable?  Or when you're sitting in a peaceful meditation and a leaf blower begins roaring outside your window.

We become more comfortable with the uncomfortable by simply acknowledging that we're uncomfortable.  Then we surrender.  By letting go of the associated tension that comes with the unwanted, we begin to offer a space for potential ease.  We connect to a slow calm breath.  We notice if we've transmitted tension to some other part of our body away from where the main thrust of the pose is occurring.  We invite ease by opening the pathway to do so, rather than turning in the opposite direction and running away from it.

When we start to find more ease through what physically challenges us, we hold the potential to find more ease in what emotionally challenges us.  Grief is a great example of this practice.  When we have a loss in our lives, whether it be someone we loved, a job that held our identity or a relationship coming to an end, we turn toward many mechanisms to ease the pain.  Drugs, denial, isolation, anger and overindulgence are examples of trying to side step suffering.  When we begin to realize that we are in the process of grief we can begin to offer ourselves choices of how we might react.

Much of this begins with showing compassion for ourselves in our loss.  To understand that our grief can be expressed in many ways and through the journey of learning to deal with our loss, we need to hold ourselves gently.  It's giving ourselves permission to simply grieve and to perhaps communicate to others that this is how it's manifesting itself.

By stepping onto our mats, or off our mats into the world of the unknown, we can practice becoming more comfortable with the unfamiliar and uncomfortable challenges we face.  Being on your yoga mat is a great place to start this practice.  All you need to do is to roll out your mat, kick off your shoes and step on.

Off you go...

Let's Meditate

I was so excited this week to receive a link to an article entitled "Meditation boosts genes that promote good health" (click here).

It began with:
"Feeling run-down? Try a little chanting, or meditation - seriously. Such relaxation techniques can boost the activity of genes involved in several processes beneficial to health, and they only take a few minutes each day to show results."
Wow!  So it DOES work and here's yet another study showing how beneficial a relaxation, contemplation and/or meditation practice can be for us on many levels of body, mind and spirit.  Of course this is affirming news as I am approaching the eight year anniversary of my seated meditation practice.  Not only do I feel personally virtuous for keeping with my practice, but now I know that the chances of having longer telomeres is real!
So what is it that keeps us from sitting on the cushion every day?  Studies such as the one mentioned above abound.  We know it's good for us, yet sometimes it seems next to impossible to find the time.  Or when we do it, it feels unsatisfying because our thoughts can be rapid fire and overwhelming, how will we ever get this under any semblance of control?  Aren't we supposed to STOP THINKING?  Yikes!

On my most recent yoga retreat, the question was asked, "so when will it feel as though I've reached my goal in my meditation practice?".  My answer was simply, "There is no goal to be reached.  Our intention is to simply learn how to be present with what is.  We practice observing whatever might be arising in our experience, rather than taking purchase with our thoughts.  We see them come and go, without trying to judge, control, alter or stop any of it." 

In the moments where we notice that we've grabbed onto a particular thought and have followed it into either the past or future, or the "what if" scenario arises, is when we use simple tools to come back to the present.  Bringing our focus onto our breath or a mantra can anchor us back into the present moment.  Try chanting Om Mani Padme Hum (om man-eh pod-may hum), "the jewel in the heart of the lotus", 108 times and see how much else you can think about.  It's as though the tools are like someone holding up their hand to say STOP...and so we do and come back to the present.
One of my teachers once said that once you establish your meditation practice and you miss a session, it will be like leaving the house without having brushed your teeth.  And so it has become for me...part of my daily morning ritual.  It sets the tone for my day and anchors me into my deeper self.  I can set my intention, check in with that inner voice and witness what is circulating in my awareness.  It's as though it's my first appointment for the day and allows me to be ready to hold the space for all of the other appointments to follow.

One last reflection is worth sharing.  Your meditation practice is just that.  It's yours and it's a practice.  It's a personal experience that you can create any way that serves and supports you.  You have nothing to prove to anyone else and although many techniques exist for ways to actually meditate, finding what works for you is the right technique.  The one thing that all traditional meditation practices have in common is that it's seated.  Try launching your practice by sitting 5-10 minutes and building up towards 20-30 minutes.  The main idea is to just get to the cushion and sit.

And you never know...your telomeres might just get a bit longer as well!

Time To Unplug

 

 

How much daily news do you get from the TV or radio? How many times do you check your email each day or receive a "tweet"? How much do you engage in playing games on Facebook or solitaire on your computer?  How much time do you experience silence each day?

My thought for this week was inspired this past weekend during

my annual yoga retreat in Idyllwild.  The intention of the retreat is completely around the practice of unplugging ourselves from our often hectic lives. The idea is to take the residue of retreating into the cooler climes of the local mountains where it's so easy to disconnect and bring it back to our "regular" lives.

Being on retreat is the perfect opportunity to disconnect and unplug. For two full days we put away our cell phones, had no TV or radio. Access to the Internet was discouraged so that tended to limit our time to check on anything other than "urgent" emails. The beauty of having consecutive days of disconnect is that it allows your brain, body and spirit to find themselves in a different relationship to one another. Distractions of our busy-ness aren't given the opportunity to interrupt. Plus, if you add in a daily practice of yoga, meditation, hiking along a mountain trail and watching a sunset whilst dining al fresco, the experience enters a space of potential transformation.

So, how do we then connect to this place of ease and stillness once we return from the mountain top when we have work to do and a schedule to keep? 

My answer is to first, remember the physiological feeling of being quiet and still. When you reach a state of calm, how does it feel in your body?  Where is your calm center located?

Second, create the opportunity to find at least 10 minutes during your day to connect to this inner space. Sit. Breathe. Be. Take a break from watching or reading the news for a few days. Turn off your phone and pick up a good book. Make it a priority...every day.

Stop doing.  Just be.  Even if it's only for a few moments.